Chapter 6

Loud voices reverberated through the brightly lit corridor. Cragen's fingers traced the pattern on the edge of the window sill. They came to rest on the smooth surface of a ceramic pot. He carefully picked at what was left of a crumbling, wilted leaf--anything to keep his hands busy, to occupy his mind from the events of the past few hours.

"Donald Cragen?" The voice that called out was hesitant, but it was enough to break him from his reverie. He turned away from the window and approached the source of the voice.

"I'm Donald Cragen." His face was pale, and deep creases lined his forehead. His eyes searched the face of the nurse who approached him for some sign. "How are they?"

"Oh, Elliot will be fine. He just had some minor smoke inhalation. He's been fighting us since the bus ride here to let him go." The tiniest smile crossed over her lips. "But we assured him that he would get to the hospital much faster if he rode along with us. EMS has already cleared him to go. He's in with Olivia now." She paused, weighing her next words carefully.

"And Olivia…"

"Olivia's another story. God knows what she's been through…her system has had quite a shock. She's been in and out of consciousness. She wouldn't let us take her into surgery until we'd done a rape kit and taken photos. She's stabilizing now, and we have her on oxygen to treat the smoke inhalation. How long has she been missing?"

"Since Friday night."

"She's extremely dehydrated. I don't think she's had any food or water since she disappeared. Preliminary tox screen is showing signs of Midazolam so we're not sure how long it will be before she'll be able to tell us about the attack. She's still pretty out of it."

Cragen swallowed hard. "Was she raped?"

"It looks like it," the nurse confirmed. "The rape kit revealed severe internal and external trauma." She paused to let him digest the information before pressing on. "She's one hell of a fighter. We also have several stab wounds to the shoulder and back, a concussion, broken ribs, and multiple contusions and lacerations." She glanced down at the clipboard in her hand before continuing. "She had you and Elliot listed as next of kin. Does she have any family we should notify?"

Cragen shook his head. "We're all the family she's got," he responded softly. "Can I see her?"

The nurse nodded. "She's still in ICU until she regains full consciousness, and we make sure she's okay. It might be good to have someone she recognizes there when she wakes up, but make sure there's no more than two people in there at a time. And Donald…" The nurse raised her eyes to meet his. "Keep in mind, she's been through a lot the last couple of days. We're not sure how she'll react yet."

His nod conveyed an understanding of the unspoken words in a way that could only be gleaned from far too many years of watching a victim lash out at the only one present when they awoke from an attack. "Which way?"

Her voice was gentle. "I'll take you there." She led him through the twisted hallways until they came to a door at the end of the hallway marked 422. Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door and stepped inside.

Nothing the nurse had told him could have possibly prepared him for what he saw next. A knot formed in his throat as he took in the image before him. Dark hair spilled out around the pillow in stark contrast to the absolute pallor of her skin. Olivia was completely still. The slight rising and falling of her chest was his only indication of her labored breathing. Her delicate features were contorted by the bruises that stained her body. He averted his eyes away from the oxygen mask, tubes, and machines that he knew to be sustaining her through the pain brought on by the nightmarish hell she'd endured. As he approached for a closer look, Elliot turned toward him slowly. Taking in his bloodshot eyes, Cragen suddenly realized that in all the years…despite the horrors they saw day in and out, he had only seen Elliot shed tears one other time. Ironically, it had started at Maloney's as well as Elliot had attempted to drown out a case that reminded him of a time his anger had made him lash out at an unsuspecting Maureen. Cragen thought back to Elliot's broken confession that night and remembered taking his keys in hand to drive him home. He had known what his detective needed on that day, but he realized he had no idea how to help him now. Now completely sober, it was painfully obvious that Elliot was fighting back his emotions.

Behind the glimmer of anguish blazed a deep, smoldering fire. "I'm going to kill the son of a bitch that did this to her."

The words brought him crashing back to reality. "Elliot, do you think she'd be better off if you ended up locked away someplace? She needs you now more than she's ever needed you before. So pull yourself together for her." Somehow as he spoke, he found himself trying to convince himself of the truth behind his words. As much as he firmly believed that roughing up a suspect was detrimental in every sense of the word, there was nothing he wanted more than to get his hands on the man that had put Olivia here.

"Look at her captain, look at what he did to her. What if she doesn't wake up again?" He couldn't bare to ask the other questions on his mind. What if she was too traumatized to go back to work? What if he had lost his partner?

As if responding to his unspoken plea, Olivia's eyes fluttered open slowly. Her body ached all over. She tried to sit up, but something weighed her down, keeping her pinned to the bed. Whose bed? Her eyes flew open, and her hands shot up in a defensive stance as if to protect herself.

At her reaction, Elliot knew that the absolute shock on his own face was mirrored in his captain's eyes. "Liv, it's okay. You're safe now." His words were instantly soft, gentle.

She let her arms fall to her side cautiously at the sound of the familiar voice. With great effort, she drew herself up to a sitting position. Even in the dim room, the sun shone brightly on her face, a stark comparison to the darkness that had surrounded her for so long. Her eyes darted back and forth as she surveyed her surroundings wildly. A slender hand reached out and pushed the oxygen mask back away from her mouth so she could speak. "Elliot…Don." The voice that called out was muted, tentative, and unlike any they had ever heard.

"Liv, it's okay. He can't hurt you anymore." Elliot reached for her hand to comfort her. She flinched violently, and he felt as if someone had just punched him in the gut. "Oh, God… Liv, I'm sorry."

She saw Cragen shift slightly, and he took a step forward cautiously. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been hit with a ton of bricks," she groaned quietly. Olivia paused for a moment. "Something tells me that I'm probably not the only one. You look like you've been through hell."

A sad smile crossed over Cragen's face. "Always trying to take care of everybody else."

"Yeah, well somebody has to look out for you two." She laid back again, deep in thought. "I…I didn't do so well on taking care of myself."

Elliot was the first to respond. "What do you remember?"

She knew that tone. She had heard it many times before. It was the same tone he always took when he reached out to a victim. Her throat tightened, and she swallowed hard. "I…I don't know what happened."

"It's okay. Just tell us what you do remember," Elliot encouraged her tenderly.

A guarded look crossed over her face, and she bit her bottom lip. "I don't know," she repeated vehemently. Olivia tore her eyes away from Elliot's burning gaze and shifted. "Please go," she whispered softly. Olivia wasn't ready to face them, wasn't ready to face their probing questions and what it meant for her. The two men exchanged looks, neither one wanting to leave her, but unsure of whether their presence or absence would cause her more pain. She didn't want to think about it. She closed her eyes and let herself slip back into the merciful darkness.

A rapid succession of outbursts somehow tore through his reverie and gradually increased in volume. Cragen didn't bother to listen to the message coming across the radio as it silently melted away just as swiftly as it had come. His eyes swept across the room, surveying the hustle and bustle surrounding him. From behind him, he heard fleeting laughter followed by the slamming of a locker door. Bits and pieces of conversation drifted in and out, and he realized that only in their world had time come to a sudden, crashing halt. To everyone else, it was just another Wednesday morning.

"Don…Don?"

Slowly, Cragen realized that someone was calling his name. He tore his eyes away from the scene before him and searched for the voice reaching out to him. "Casey."

"Don, where are we with Liv?" Casey was pacing back and forth. "And why haven't you called me?"

He sighed and shook his head. All of the years of fighting against every injustice suddenly seemed to weigh down every bone in his body. He retreated back into his office and collapsed in his chair. He didn't have to look to know that she had followed him. "Without a complaining witness, we're not getting very far," he replied simply.

Casey's head snapped up. "What do you mean…without a complaining witness? I thought Olivia woke up two days ago. Haven't you gotten a statement from her yet?"

"She woke up," he confirmed cautiously, "But Casey…she's not ready to talk about it. Believe me, Elliot and I have tried."

"Well, then you have to make her talk. This is Liv. She knows how important it is that we get a statement, and she knows that we need it now. Why is she stone-walling us?"

"Do you think I would be standing here if I knew the answer to that? Casey, she won't even let Elliot anywhere near her. I have no idea what this bastard did to her, and she won't let any of us close enough to try to find out."

Casey opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. It didn't matter. A loud voice echoed behind her, filling the strained silence. "Don." Cragen rose to his feet and met the eyes of his commanding officer. He nodded curtly.

Casey didn't even bother to acknowledge the Chief of D's. "I'm going to go do my job. You do yours." She whirled around, sensing she was getting nowhere with this newfound interruption. "Let me know when you get something," she called out over her shoulder. The door swung shut behind her, and the silence that filled the room was deafening.

"How are you holding up?" The words were tainted with concern and authority rolled up in one.

"I'd be a hell of a lot better if I knew what was going on," Cragen returned, his words guarded.

"Don, I know how much you care about the detectives under your command, and you're one hell of a captain. But are you sure you're objective enough to handle this case?"

"With all due respect, sir, I'm handling it just fine," he replied brusquely.

"Is it true that you haven't gotten a statement yet from Olivia?"

Cragen hesitated slightly. "She's traumatized. God only knows what she's been through. We'll get a statement, she just needs time."

"Don, Olivia has been with this unit for a long time. She knows how important time is right now."

"What's your point?"

"Do you have Elliot working her case?"

"He's my best detective. I'm not pulling him out on this one. I'll keep an eye on him," Cragen responded quickly.

"You're missing the point, Don. Has it occurred to you that Olivia might have known her attacker?"

"Of course it's occurred to me," he snapped. Cragen froze instantly as the words finally hit him. "What are you saying?"

"Olivia is not one to just let her guard down to a complete stranger, and she sure as hell has shown her ability to fight back when she was. I'm just making sure you're considering all the options here."

When he spoke, Cragen's words were terse. "You want to stop beating around the bush and tell me what this is all about?"

"Who was with you when you questioned Olivia?"

"Elliot." Cragen fought for the words to justify what to him had seemed like second nature. "She knows him, she trusts him." He found himself stumbling over the words. Of course Elliot would be the one to go with him to question Olivia. Who else would he trust more?

"Don, Elliot was the last person to be seen with her before she disappeared. When she woke up to see him, she reacted violently and completely shut down."

Cragen turned slowly, processing the implication behind the chief's words. "You think Elliot brutally attacked, kidnapped, and raped his partner?" His words were edged with anger and sarcasm.

"Have you ruled him out?"

"There's no need to rule him out. Elliot would never attack Olivia or anyone else for that matter," Cragen emphasized vehemently.

"Don, Olivia isn't married, she has no family, and even I know that this job is her life. She would have only let her guard down to someone she trusts. It's our job to question those closest to the victim. Now, what kind of relationship do they have?"

"Their relationship is…it's complicated." Cragen shook his head. "But I can assure you he would never raise a hand to her. Olivia is all Elliot has right now. What possible motive would he have to attack her?"

"He's going through a divorce from his wife, he's lost custody of his children. Then the one person left in his life turns around and walks out on him. He's angry, and he's lashing out. Don, you've seen it happen a hundred times from people you would have never expected to snap."

"Olivia left because they needed some distance," Cragen explained. "She came back, and they're working through their issues, but if you even think that…"

"Don, I'm not saying he's guilty." The chief's voice softened. "But any half decent defense attorney can argue my point. This one has to be done completely by the books."

"What do you want from me?"

"Get Olivia to talk, and make damned sure that when you do, Elliot is nowhere near that room. You want proof that he's innocent--she's the only one who can give that to you."