Ten Years

Ten Years
pt 3

I smile as I read the first line.

"If you're reading this then that national treasure of a brain must be working overtime."

I touch his picture, "where do you come up with this stuff."

I continued.

"I want you to stop thinking, yes I know easier said then done but I need you to stop doubting yourself. You know what you are doing there I said it and I know that your people have probably said it to you about a zillion times by now. Sam you were tailor made for this position. You have the military background and that scientific mind to balance your decisions."

I knew this and he was right when I thought I was not doing the right thing I was told I was.

"Jack you just don't know how hard it is sometimes. I have everyone's life in my hands and if I screw up…"

"Sam, I know what you're feeling remember? I felt the same thing when I took over for General Hammond, I had so many doubts and the hours of sleep I lost at the beginning did nothing for my boyish good looks."

I snort he always knew how to make me laugh.

"You're the new Sheriff in town and you will start to second-guess your decisions long after you make them. Do you know how many times I felt helpless sending people through the gate not knowing if they were coming back, it was worse when you and the guys went off on missions if you recall I didn't let you go on many at the beginning I couldn't let go and when I thought you guys had been captured by Bocce Ba'al I blamed myself for not being there to cover your six."

I looked up at his picture. He was right he knew exactly how I felt. It was an awful feeling not being able to do anything but to stand by and watch good people go through the gate and pray they would all come back. "Maybe I'm not cut out for this Jack."

"Stop doubting your self and let me pass on some very wise words of wisdom. "You are just one person with the lives of others in your hands. Don't let them do anything you wouldn't, back them up never let them doubt you know all the answers and never let them feel you are not in control, George passed me these wise words after I tried to quit I mean retire after a hard month at the SGC. He was right I couldn't let my people down and neither can you. Sam it never gets any easier. You'll have some lull periods but things will never settle down, things will always look worse before it gets better."

Worse? Things were going to get worse then they already are?

"Don't shut yourself out from your people they need to feel that you belong there Elizabeth Weir was the heart of Atlantis you know that but Hun you can be it's soul, you care and that's what matters the most. Now get up off that bed and go and show them that you belong."

He was right, I wasn't connecting with these people and how could I ask them to trust my command if they didn't know who or what I stand for. I saw I was at the end of the letter.

"Okay enough of the pep talk, I miss you and I love you. There said it and it's in print so you can stash this next to my picture. You're doing a great job. Stop with that over active brain of yours relax and enjoy this you deserve it. Remember sweetie I'm just a hope skip and a jump through the gate and so are your friends. Never think we would leave you behind that's not what SG1 is about. So if you need a hand just reach out."

Love

Jack (your man) O'Neill

I wiped the tears from my cheeks, when had they started to fall.

My man, if he only knew how much more he was to me. I'd write him a letter to tell him what I didn't write in my reports. He must be wondering if I read this letter or not. The short time I had been in command a lot had happen. I was happy he had enough faith in me not to want to check to see how I was dealing. I kissed the letter opened the back of his picture and stashed it away for later when ever I started to doubt I was not doing the job.

He was right. I doubted my abilities to lead but the fact was I had learned from the best and I would not let him or my team down.

I would join my new team and find out what made them tick. Knowledge was power and my over active brain needed all this knowledge to make sure Atlantis would never fall and that my people would be safe.

"Okay Jack I'm going, I'll following your words of wisdom. Thank you sweetheart for everything," I whispered to the empty room and felt better about myself.

I walked through the door with a new purpose and with confidence the man I loved was behind me as was my team. Who could ask for anything more and those wraith better watch out there was a new sheriff in town.