Chapter 25

"How's the Stephens' case coming?" Munch looked up just in time to see the file that dropped on his desk.

"I don't know, Cap. We're fresh out of leads. And right now…" His voice broke, echoing the yet unspoken words that were on everyone's mind.

"Go talk to Huang. He's waiting for you now." Cragen waited, but there was no protest. Nothing more than a silent acceptance that for once in his life, John might actually need someone to talk to. Cragen crossed the desk to Fin and touched a hand to his shoulder. "I should have said this a long time ago. You're next."

"Captain, I can't deal with this right now."

"Fin, that wasn't a request. That was an order. We're all going, myself included. Somehow we're going to figure out…" He stopped, unable to choke out the words. "We're going to figure out how to move forward from here."

"How are you holding up?"

The typical biting, sarcastic comeback never came. "I don't know. I can't figure out what happened?" Munch brushed back the hint of wetness on his cheek, his dark glasses shielding anyone from seeing the pain that clouded his eyes.

"Why does anything like this ever happen? You can't make sense out of it. Olivia probably felt as if she didn't have a choice. She was trying to save her partner." Huang sat next to him. For the first time, there was no textbook explanation, no easy answer to the questions that plagued them all.

"She's been traumatized enough by what happened to her. She shouldn't have gone in there. She didn't need to see that." Munch hesitated. "George, we aren't going to make it through without her. What if she doesn't come back?"

"It's going to take time, John. But Olivia is stronger than anyone gives her credit for. She'll be back when she's ready."

Casey heard the door slam shut behind her, but somehow it didn't register. She stepped into the cell, her eyes immediately drawn to the two figures already seated at the table. "What the hell is this?" She glared back at the two men across from her.

"Casey, please just listen," Tucker pleaded.

"No, I'm not listening to a damn word you say. And if I had known that you were the one who wanted me in here, I wouldn't have come in the first place." She turned her icy glare toward Bradley. "I can't talk to you without your lawyer present."

"He'll waive his Miranda rights. Just give me a chance, Casey."

She whipped back around at the sound of Tucker's voice. "You want me to give you a chance? You have got to be kidding me. After what you just did?"

"What are you talking about?"

Casey laughed bitterly. "I don't know why the hell Cragen let you into that room knowing the history there, but I'm not about to make that same mistake."

"You want to talk about mistakes, Casey," Tucker broke in quietly. He pulled her aside. "Look, I'm not the one who was pulled off of the job because I couldn't hold it together. Now I know that this case is important to you, but you have to hear me out."

Casey stepped back, stunned. "That's a low blow, Tucker…even for you."

"Look, Casey, I don't know what the hell anyone told you about what happened, but you at least owe me the professional courtesy of listening to what I have to say."

Casey crossed her arms over your chest. "Fine, you want to talk. You've got five minutes." She opened up her briefcase, digging out a form. She turned toward Bradley, tossing the paperwork and a pen at him. "But you don't say a word until you sign this."

"Don?" Huang drew in a deep breath. "Don, talk to me about it."

"I've seen a hell of a lot in my days, but this…this doesn't even come close. I don't know if I can do it anymore." Cragen stared blankly at the wall in front of him.

"How are you dealing with it?"

"Every other cop in this unit has been picking up the slack since this whole thing started. They can't handle the new cases coming in. But half of my detectives are gone and the other half are physically here, but they're barely functioning. I've had to call the chief of D's in to route cases to other bureaus for a few days until we can figure something out. He's trying to get someone to cover the Stephens' case right now."

"Don, that's not what I meant."

"I know," Cragen acknowledged softly. "They're like my children. They're the only family I have left, and I don't think any of them are going to be able to get over what happened." Cragen finally looked up. "I keep telling myself that maybe I could have prevented it somehow."

"Don, there's no good choice. No clear cut right or wrong. You had no way of knowing what was going to happen in that house."

Cragen nodded. "That's true, but I should have known better than to allow Tucker to go in behind Olivia. He was too involved in the case, and I knew that. But I was afraid of what I would do if I was the one who went in there so I let him." Cragen's voice faltered. "George, I swear to God I never thought he'd shoot Elliot."

"I trusted the damn bastard."

Huang searched Fin's face carefully for a response. "You mean Tucker?"

A curt nod was Fin's only response. "I should have shot him when I had the chance."

Huang froze. He lowered his pen carefully. "Do you really think that more violence is the answer?"

"Doesn't matter what I think, and don't try to shrink me, Doc. I didn't shoot anyone. Believe me, if I was gonna kill him, I would have already done it."

"Fin, have you tried to talk to Tucker about what happened?"

"Why would I do that? I don't need to talk to him to know that he didn't have Liv's back in there. There was only one person whose ass he was tryin' to cover."

"You need to talk to someone because there's more to the story than that. Fin, Tucker came into my office after it happened to talk to me about it. And if you won't get the truth out of him, then at least talk to Olivia or Elliot."

Olivia gazed out at the tiny specks dotting the edges of the shore. She gingerly dipped her foot into the water. The unexpected rush of cold water made her shiver as she withdrew her foot. Experimentally, she let her other foot graze over the water's smooth surface. The water rippled around it, bouncing off the shores and disappearing in the current. Olivia watched, somewhat satisfied as the last of the ripples was swallowed up by the water around it.

"Olivia." The single word shattered her reverie. Olivia didn't even have to look up to know that Elliot was now sitting beside her. "I thought I might find you here."

For the first time, she turned to face him. She raised her eyebrow suspiciously. "You thought you would find me in Central Park?"

He forced a small smile. "All right so Cragen told me where to find you."

She laughed softly. "Yeah, that's what I thought. How are you feeling?"

He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Like I was shot," he returned dryly.

She fought back a smile at his light-hearted tone. "Yeah, well you're lucky Tucker beat Bradley to it. A plastic bullet hurts a hell of a lot less than a real one."

Elliot stared straight ahead, searching for the words he needed to ask. There were so many things he wanted to say to her, so many things he needed her to hear, but he had no idea how to begin. "So what are you doing out here anyway?"

"I've lived in the city my entire life, and I've never come out here just for the sake of being here," Olivia mused. She dropped her focus to the ground, feeling the blades of grass beneath her fingertips.

Elliot nodded. "So why now?"

She didn't answer his question. "El, I can't go back." She finally raised her eyes to meet his. "I can't do it."

Her words slammed into him hard. She was leaving him…again. She was leaving this unit. She was leaving this partnership. She was leaving everything she had ever known and everything that had ever been important to her. He swallowed hard. "What do you mean you can't go back?"

Elliot searched her face for something more, some indication that he had misheard her. He could barely breathe, barely comprehend the significance behind her words. He had no idea how to survive without her. He had no idea how to move forward without her. He wanted to believe that he could give her something more. He wanted to believe that he could support her in doing whatever she needed to do for herself, but as much as he tried, he couldn't do it. He couldn't accept that she needed to move on. He couldn't accept that she needed some distance. He couldn't accept that she needed him to be unselfish for one moment and consider her needs.

"How long?" The words were barely more than a whisper as they fell from his lips. When she didn't respond, he took a deep breath. "You are coming back, right?"

Her eyes returned to the ground. She continued to twist the same damn blade of grass through her fingertips as his world was flung upside down. "I don't know, El."

"Wait a minute. What do you mean there's more to it than that. We all heard Tucker tell his brother it was his turn for revenge. We all heard the gunshot. We saw Elliot on his way to the hospital. I think it's pretty damn clear what happened. What else is there to know?"

Huang turned back to Fin. "Tucker knew his brother was about ready to snap, and he didn't trust the fact that he would be able to get to him in time. He also didn't trust himself to shoot his own brother. He had plastic bullets in his gun. Tucker shot first to save Elliot. He wasn't trying to hurt him. He was trying to protect him."

"So if Elliot's fine, why hasn't he come back?"

"Because Elliot knew that Olivia had already told everyone here that he was okay, and because he needed some time off. This whole case hit him pretty hard. He hasn't quite adjusted to the fact that it's finally over."

Fin massaged his temples. "We really screwed up. We should have trusted him. We just…" He bowed his head. "We just assumed Tucker was the bad guy. We never gave him a chance."

"Tucker feels pretty guilty about everything his brother has done," Huang acknowledged. "He blames himself for letting it happen. He's devoted his whole life to trying to right his father's wrongs, and he feels like somehow he screwed up again."

"Where is he now?"

"He's at Rikers with his brother. He's trying to talk him into pleading out the case so that Olivia doesn't have to go through a trial. He doesn't want to put her through anything more than she's already been through."