Disclaimer: I ,MercilessAngel, do not own Naruto.
This is chapter six, coming at ya. Having so many stories at once is going smoother than I thought it would. Well for the most part. I absolutly love the power of control I have over this story, as I deminstrate with my chapters hehe. Sorry this took so long to get out. I have a lot of final projects that call for my full attentionm you know the whole 'You need a proper edumaction.' LOL
This chapter is dedicated to Kaguya Yumiasai, who reviewed! Someone else reviewed too but theirs dosen't count, because I know them and they are evil. Thanks Kaguya!
Last time on 'How to Woo an Uchiha' the boys settled on the plan to abtuct the poor, innocent blond person. Poor, uninformed ninjas. They'll never know what hit them.
How to Woo an Uchiha
Chapter 6: The Hunt is on
"Rope?"
"Check."
"Kunai?"
"Check."
"Food?"
"Check."
"Nail Polish?"
"Double Check."
Kisame and Hidan were in charge of loading the supplies, making sure nothing would surprise them in the strange world they were about to enter. Food so they wouldn't starve. Rope in case she resisted. Kunai in case something attacked them. And you should never go anywhere without nail polish. Deidara meanwhile was searching for an adaquate hill.
Itachi was pasing in the kitchen eyes flashing every once and a while, growling about the stupidity of what they were about to do. Really, what criminal in their right mind would do it. It was so... not going to work. And Hidan was probably pulling all their legs with this one.
"Tobi? Have you aquired the needed items?"
"Yah. But I still don't know why we need a fanny pack, a book, a stool, and a tire."
Itachi simply growled and ordered Tobi to take the items outside and set them near the trees. Tobi, who was annoyed at being dismissed like that, mentally pushed Itachi off of a cliff, with sharp rocks at the bottom.
They didn't have much time. This had to be done during a lightning storm aparently and there was one tonight. Now they were double checking their supplies and putting the finishing touches on the plan. If someone told Itachi yesterday that He would be rolling up a hill wearing a fanny pack while holding a stool, a tire, and a book during a lightning storm, well, he would have glared at them, then killed them.
"Ready Itachi?"
"No."
"Good let's go."
The remaining members of the Akatsuki; Itachi, Hidan, and Kisame moved out of the hideout and saw Deidara and Tobi waiting next to some trees to the left. Kisame sealed the entrance and turned to Deidara.
"Did you find a hill?"
"Yes. And it is not too steep, ya."
"Excelent. Tobi follow Deidara and carry the equipment to the hill. Hidan I need to talk to you."
Deidara left leading Tobi whom had gotten stuck with all of the equipment. Kisame left after them leaving Itachi to his talk with Hidan.
"Hidan, since this was your idea you will be the one to test the therory. You will be the first to go and if you succeed me and Kisame will follow. Tobi and Deidara are staying behind to watch after Sasuke. Do not fail Hidan."
Hidan nodded nervously. Itachi was very scary, with his evil looking red eyes and those scars. It was no wonder he had joined the Akatsuki. He looked like he should belong to an evil bent-on-controlling-the-world criminal organization.
Itachi turned and followed the noise that Tobi was making. Tobi really should be taught how to be quiet. This is why they never take him on any missions. He can't stay quiet. He would give away their cover and they would be caught. That's also why Itachi didn't want him going to retrieve this girl. He wasn't sure but something didn't seem ... normal about those girls.
"Be quiet Tobi. It is essential to our goal that we find this female and bring her here."
"What does me being loud have to do with our goal again?"
Itachi quickened his pace and stepped up behind Tobi. He calmed his face into a menacing look and spoke to Tobi.
"Becaus if you are not quiet I will kill you. And if I kill you then I might have to leave Hidan here. And if I leave Hidan here then I can't use him as a guinea pig. And if I can't use him as a guinea pig, I'll have to use someone else, someone who is essential to our goal, unlike you."
- At a Hill not far away-
An old blue jay sat on a tree, enjoying the pre-breeze before the storm that was brewing.. This blue jay had seen many things over it's many years. Demons, ninjas, dragons. But nothing prepared it for the sight of a group of criminal ninjas carrying a book, a tire, a stool, and by the gods was that a fanny pack.
Ninjas, the jay thought as it flew away from the potentually dangerous situation, full of potentually crazy ninja.
"Tobi put the equipment over there and go back to the hideout with Deidara. Deidara you are to protect Sasuke from... mostly himself becasue he thinks he's a huge hero and will inevitably get in trouble."
Itachi contemplated Tobi. "Tobi I want you to ... help Deidara, but only if he needs it."
"Hidan, Kisame, and I will capture the girl and bring her back. Then we will give her to my brother so she might woo him."
Crickets chirped in the background. Chirp, chirp.
"Woo?"
Itachi glared hotly. "Yes, woo. She must woo my brother so that they can defeat this evil."
Deidara and Tobi left, back to the hideout before they went after Sasuke.
Itachi turned to Hidan and stared, and waited.
Five minutes later
The clouds broke open and unleased their fury on Hidan, Itachi, and Kisame. Lightning flashed through the sky, chasedc losely by thunder that shook the ground.
And Itachi was still waiting. "Get on with it Hidan."
HIdan grinned sheepishly and walked over to the hill. "So you just grab this stuff, lay down, and er... roll?"
Itachi and Kisame offered no help, simply watching what they knew had a better chance of failing then working.
Hidan layed down, looked back at his fellow bad doers, and rolled. He rolled and rolled. Then he rolled some more. Hidan believed he would reach the top and this would a complete failure when crack he was struck by lightning.
"Hey Itachi?"
"Hm?"
"If Hidan's dead can I have his room? He's got a bigger bed."
"Hn."
Kisame offered to go look for Hidan's remains, which might consist of a few ashes. What he found was nothing, except for the book, stool, tire, and fanny pack which where in perfect condition.
"Hey I think he made it! Shame I really did want his room."
"This means it's your turn Kisame..."
Kisame sighed and grabbed the items before going down the hill and try his luck.
He layed down and gripped his sword, making sure it went through with him. Then he rolled and he too was struck by lightning and dissapeared.
Itachi did like-wise and soon the meadow with the hill was silent save for the sound of raindrops hitting the leaves and forest floor.
The hunt was on.
I am sorry this took soooo long but, sigh there is no excuse. I am taking volleyball and I look like someone beat me, really I do. My parents thought I did get beat. Ok I have a short poll.
What do you think the Akatsuki's hideout should be called?
I know that some people probably don't agree with the personalities I've given the Akatsuki... and I value everyone's opinion (besides Kamille's). So voice your opinion and review. Insult me, cuss me out, say nice things! I'm desprate to know if someone cares.