Change back?

Summary: I loved the regeneration from 9th to 10th Doctor so much that I think it should be told in more detail. 9Rose & 10Rose

Disclaimer: All official Doctor Who stuff belongs to BBC etc. - I only borrow it for this story.

Notice: A lot of things, including something like a writer's block, delayed this next chapter, although it had been nearly finished for quite some time now.

Finally, I have a new beta-reader: my dear friend Sylvia. It´s thanks to her that this chapter got some very nice touches.

This chapter has been partially rewritten and re-published with some additions but without being beta-read again on 15th July 2008.

The Time Lord knew those fiends had given her some nightmares every time they had encountered them.

So he just raised his eyebrows in an attempt to pull the tension out of this situation and told her in a calm voice, that he was not a Slitheen.

Chapter 5 – Remember

„Send him back! I'm warning you! Send the Doctor back, right now!" Rose was shouting and pointed repeatedly on the spot where she wanted her dear friend back. Somehow she hoped her voice would reach the Doctor so that he could come and help her. He surely would be able to explain what had happened with a flood of words she didn't even know. Until then she would find a way to deal with this guy.

Her fury surprised him a bit. 'Oi, why is she so angry? I fear for anybody who really might be kidnapping me one day in front of her eyes.'

„Rose, it's me! It's ... honestly, it's me." He kept telling her that over and over. She didn't like that this intruder did know her name and that he talked to her as if she was a frightened child. 'Why does he have to pretend he is the Doctor? Does he think I'm daft? He sounds and looks totally different from him!'

Rose's thoughts were racing. She wished he would stop talking. His pleading brown eyes somehow had this fatal, heart melting effect of puppy's eyes on her. She began to doubt herself, only because she wished she could believe him.

„I was dying." The Doctor felt he finally had the girls attention. Once more he tried to explain the situation to her, without any jokes or further hesitation. He needed her to believe him, and he didn't even care to hide this. Not many of his companions had witnessed a regeneration, and hardly any had ever taken it well. It was hard to feel this rejection over and over again, especially when there once had been blind trust.

With calm words he continued, still keeping the distance between himself and Rose, which she obviously needed right now. Everything would be easier if he just could hold her hand like he often used to right from the start.

„To save my own life I changed my body. Every single cell, but ... still me." He shook his head and spread his hands in a gesture that left him at her mercy.

Rose couldn't help but warm up towards this guy. He just looked so vulnerable, with his messed up hair and the slightly unfitting clothes. That was so unlike her Time Lord that it felt even more strange when he talked about this change-stuff like the Doctor had right before he had disappeared.

„You can't be ..." She couldn't manage more than a faint whisper. This man certainly behaved as if he was him. Desperately the young woman searched his face - to find a trace of her friend, to find a proof that she could trust him.

Rose didn't back away when he approached her slowly. She wanted to believe him, because she began to realize that this could be the only way to get her Doctor back.

„Then how can I remember this ..." He had moved closer as soon as he sensed that she had calmed enough and stood right in front of her now. Their eye-contact still remained unbroken, as if it was a lifeline - the only thing to hold them together.

Rose had to admit that this man looked at her just like the Doctor had. Warily and yet trusting. Offering so much, expecting so little, but secretly wishing for so much more. And close up like this she couldn't deny that these brown eyes seemed as ancient as the blue ones she had known so well.

„The very first word I ever said to you ..." The Doctor paused again. He wanted to give his companion time to take in what he was saying. „Trapped in a cellar ... surrounded by shop-window dummies." He couldn't help but slip back into a more carefree manner. As if he actually could see the past, his look became distant for a moment and he sighed „Oh, such a long time ago."

In fact he couldn't bear it anymore how she gazed at him like she didn't know him, although she apparently tried very hard to recognize him somehow. Would their time together end so soon? 'I don't want to loose her now. Not like this. She has to believe me.'

Rose felt like falling when he broke the eye-contact. It gave her the chance to study his face though.

They were so close now that she could see the little freckles all over his nose and cheeks. This man looked younger than the Doctor. The thin lips matched the rather fine features of his face quite well. And his warm, brown eyes were wide open. They completely captured her once more in the instant he looked at her again. But now he suddenly seemed different – and a lot more familiar.

If possible, the man's voice appeared to be even more soothing now. „I took your hand ...". His actions mirrored his words. Now it was Rose's turn to break the eye-contact. She looked down at her own fingers that had welcomed his without hesitation. She had been trembling slightly, but this tender but firm grip calmed her. This hand felt different, more slender – albeit like a natural match to her. Could it really be him?

The Doctor grew more confident. Now there finally was a more solid connection between him and Rose. She was aware of this, too. Her eyes met his gaze again, while their joined hands provided comfort and kept her from running away at the same time. His voice completed the bond. „I said one word ... just one word." The Doctor had started to whisper now, while his look became more and more intense. „I said ... run."

'It's now or never.' Expectantly he stared at her, holding his breath.

She didn't know what convinced her. Was it the exact retelling of this very special moment, when she first had met him? Only he could know those details. Or was it the little smile that accompanied his words and the slight twinkle in his eyes, which was so much like him? Rose felt tears welling up as she accepted the impossible. However, it was necessary for her to voice it to make it real, although she still couldn't manage more than a whisper. „Doctor ..."

Both his hearts nearly burst with joy when she finally called him by his name. The smile broadened into a grin and his eyes lit up like those of a child facing a huge pile of Christmas-presents. Happily he repeated his 'hello' from right after his regeneration, giving his companion's hand an affectionate squeeze.

All the recent events suddenly overwhelmed the young woman. She had to stagger back and lean on a pillar of the Tardis for support. The Doctor might have supported her, but he had let go of her hand in the same instant as another uncontrollable burst of energy surged through him. Babbling about one of their wild adventures somewhere in the universe, he ran halfway around the console.

Rose didn't even hear him, while he was oblivious of her shock.

OOO

Their latest adventure had ended in a disaster. A really bad one, in which the Daleks, who were supposed to be extinct like the Time Lords, had been threatening the future Earth. Jack had been with them, but while she had been helping the Doctor building some fantastic device to stop the aliens, he had started to organize the humans on Satellite Five into a resistance-force.

Then she suddenly had been back at home, on Earth, in her time, with Mickey and her mum. The Doctor had tricked her and sent her away to save her, because he had realized that his plan would be fatal. Worst of all, he had expected her to live her life just like that and be happy!

The strange words „Bad Wolf" had pulled Rose out of her initial desperation. Suddenly it had seemed clear that this mysterious phrase was a message for her, not for the Doctor. Because for the first time it had appeared without him by her side – and it had been all but screaming into her face to do something.

She had been able to think of only one way to get back to the Doctor, although it seemed impossible: persuade the Tardis had to bring her back. She knew the time- and space-ship was somewhat alive and telepathic and had a special link to its owner.

Brute force had been necessary to reach the heart of the Tardis, but suddenly they had been connected.

Golden light from the core of the ship had filled her whole self. Only now she realized that it resembled the strange flames which had just changed the Doctor quite a lot.

Rose had felt how she and the Tardis had each absorbed a part of the other. They had been one mind, united through the one, single wish to go back, find the Doctor and safe him! None of them would have been able to do something on their own, but together they had made the return to the Time Vortex and had retraced their steps back to the time and place where they so longed to be.

„Bad Wolf" had been ringing through Rose's mind, like a harmony to the beautiful song of the Tardis.

And then she suddenly had stood in front of the Doctor. Oddly enough, he had been crouching on the floor and had looked very frightened - and somehow she had had the feeling this wasn't because of the Daleks who surrounded them. She couldn't quite understand why he had seemed to be angry with her, too.

In the next instant all the Daleks had disappeared. Tears of exhaustion had been running down her cheeks and she had felt weird, as if she was burning from within. Her Doctor had still been on the floor, but somehow they had appeared to be in the middle of a conversation she couldn't remember having started.

Rose began to believe now that something had held her human self back, to protect it from the unearthly forces that had been at work then.

When the Time Lord finally had stood up, he had appeared to be quite thrilled by what the entity within her had said to him. Although Rose had heard her own voice, she had been too scared and confused to understand the words. All she had been able to think about was the searing pain in her head. Obviously there was a price to pay.

Her own self had returned to the surface, and the other one, which she believed now was truly „Bad Wolf", had retreated. It's purpose had been fulfilled. Now its vessel needed to be saved.

Suddenly the full weight of the bond between the Tardis and her had been about to crush her. The Doctor, however, had taken her hands and his blue eyes had been soft and loving in the bright golden light that had surrounded them.

Even "Bad Wolf" had known that the Time Lord would know what to do. And if this meant he had to pull her gently towards him, so that he could bent his head down and kiss her, she would gladly follow his lead.

This kiss – Rose knew it wasn't just a kiss, because it had served some purpose which she just couldn't grasp, neither then nor now. And yet, it had felt like the very best kiss she had ever shared. This worried her, because she couldn't remember the end of it.

And now, everything was different, in more ways than one.

OOO

Finally Rose's attention was drawn to the present again. Considering the hyperactive and rather loud Doctor, it was a miracle that she had been able to ignore him long enough to sort out her thoughts anyway.

'I believe now that it is him. But how can he be so different?' Warily she regarded the Doctor and wondered if this just was some kind of show, because he, too, was afraid of what might have changed between them. Or was he really a completely different man now, and everything they had together until now didn't matter anymore?

Never mind how endearing this new Doctor might be, Rose wished for the old one to return, more than anything in the world.

To be continued ...