Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.
My Armor Owns Your Ashtray
The Second Night: You Should Always Make Sure You Get a Healthy Dose of Vitamin C.
After successfully accomplishing next to nothing for the rest of the day, the guys at the office had decided to celebrate the youngest Elric's induction into the military by going out for dinner. Not only was it good for building office relationships, Hawkeye decided it would be a great opportunity to pry into Al's first night at Havoc's apartment. It wasn't everyday that the blonde chain-smoker had decided to pick a younger man for a love interest, after all. Alphonse was, after all, now 17 years old, the year when the average man is most sexually active.
"So, Alphonse, how was your first night here in Central?" Hawkeye asked, taking a sip from her glass of water, making sure she wasn't completely out of it to actually remember all this information. Man on man relationships made good gossip in the women's restroom, after all.
"Uh, it was…restless, so to speak," Al said, trying not to let the woman see how nervous he was. It wasn't everyday that you got banged by a co-worker.
"Oh? How so?" she prodded, trying her best to hide that little smirk of hers.
"Er, well, I pulled an all-nighter studying for today's exam," Al said, "Havoc's incessant smoking didn't help either."
She couldn't help but notice the small, short glare he sent at Havoc, sitting to his left, which he cleverly tried to hide by leaning his head on his hand. Very clever, Al, and I'm fairly sure that everyone else here is either too stupid, she thought, looking at Breda, or too hammered to realize just what kind of conversation we're having, this time she glanced at the Colonel.
"I'm sure," liar, "but you should've asked for Havoc to stop, I'm sure he would've."
"Oh, I did, but he just wouldn't," devil-woman, stop asking, and why do I keep answering? "You know how he is," he said, giving Havoc an irritated look. In Havoc's state of tipsiness, his hand had started to slowly creep up Al's leg.
"Well," Breda started with a long, drunken drawl, "you really should let the kid shtudy. Shame on you, Jean."
"Yeah, maybe, but it's so much more fun than reading books," the other man replied, the only thing showing how hammered he actually was, was his flushed skin.
"In any case, maybe you'd like to move in with me, for some peace and quiet?" Hawkeye said, rolling her eyes at the drunken idiots.
"Uh, well, it's only been one night and I don't think I have to study—" he inhaled sharply, and glared at the man on his left, which was met with what would seem to be a cocky grin, "since I don't have any more tests to take."
Ah hah, so it's mutual, the stony-faced woman thought, shrugging off Mustang's arm, which had "accidentally" fallen around her shoulders. Or maybe he's just confused and doesn't know what to do, she thought, looking across the table and taking note of the small beads of perspiration accumulating on the sides of Al's face and the blush she knew he was holding back. Nah.
"Alright, then, have fun," she winked.
Oh my god, she knows and she might tell, Alphonse panicked, extricating Havoc's arm from his lap, which had started to work on his pants, "I will."
After a few more drinks and the clearing of plates, Hawkeye declared it was time to leave. After all, the crew was causing quite a ruckus, poor Fuery having passed out on the floor with Falman trying to give him CPR…and was applying pressure to his forehead. Breda and Roy had managed to pull enough brain power to start a small, drunken ditty. Havoc had managed to lift Al out of the chair and onto his lap, with much protest, and was slinking his arm up Al's shirt. Ignoring the excited chatter of the waitresses about how two good-looking boys were getting it on with each other in their restaurant, Hawkeye paid the bill for them and managed to drag Alphonse out the front door with her.
"Please don't make him drive us home," Al said, pulling up his pants and redoing them.
"It looks like I'll be doing the driving tonight," Hawkeye sighed, but continued her interrogation, "So how was he?"
"Do you have to ask?" Al said, blushing freely.
"Yes, your brother might want to know," Sczeska is so totally going to freak.
"Mm, he might not want to," Al muttered, "He was, uh, feeling particularly…oh forget it, he was overpowering."
"Oh," was all Hawkeye could think of to say. She expected more prodding and less straightforwardness from Al, but hey, it made things easier.
"I mean, it's not like I don't like him or anything, it's just…"
"Confusing."
"Yes, that works," Al said, "Also, do you have a spare lock or something I could borrow for tonight?"
"No, I don't. Why do you ask?" she replied, knowing exactly where this was going.
"Damn it, tonight might be a little…rough, so to speak," Al said, hanging his head in his hands.
"Of course, did you expect anything else?" Havoc said, stepping out of the restaurant doorway and locking his arms around the other man, tracing circles on his chest.
"Help me," Al said, though it fell on almost deaf ears, "This may not be a pleasant experience."
Liar, Hawkeye thought, "You'll be fine, and Colonel! Let go of Breda's neck and get into the damn car!"
Riza Hawkeye, proud mother of five, had managed to throw the rest of her brood into the backseat of her car and had driven off, leaving behind a whimpering Al on the sidewalk, with one of her middle "sons" to play with him. Picking his, or what Havoc would like to think of him as his, lover up bridal-style and depositing him in the car, the blonde man drove them home.
Damn it, he's not as drunk as I hoped he was, Al thought, opening the door and being immediately body slammed onto the couch. Havoc had already ripped off Al's shirt and began the tantalizing process of foreplay. Not at all happy of what he knew was coming, Al managed to roll off the couch, sending Havoc down with him, thanked gravity, and sprinted to the resident's bedroom.
"Moving fast, are we?" Havoc replied, walking down the hallway and shedding his military-issue jacket. A slam of the door and a slight hum was all that it took for Havoc to realize what exactly happened. Mostly.
"Ya' know, I could've sworn my bedroom door was right here."
This is it for the next piece. It might just be one of the longest things I have ever written . Anyway, in regards to Kikyo-Killer2.0's question, I have no idea if there will be any RoyEd in this thing. It's easier to work with side-characters because they're not as developed and I can mold the other guys more freely. Take Hawkeye, for example, I've made her into a freaky yaoi fangirl who is all buddy-buddy with a freaky super-nerd. On the inside, of course. Although Ed's pretty well rounded, I don't particularly like writing about him, though I'm sure I can get a few good tidbits in.
To Ijustgottadance: No one asked you to read it. Though yes, I know, this is an odd pairing. Then again, you don't want to read the same lemony RoyEd/RoyHavoc/EdWin stuff all the time, do you? It's good to broaden your horizons.
On another note: that little thing about being a 17 year old guy may or may not be true. My friend told me that that was the average age, but I don't know.
Still waiting on answers to my questions from the previous chapter, if anyone would like to share.