Hey everybody. There were three reasons why I didn't get this chapter out sooner...
1) I'm scared of what people will think. I'm taking a big risk here, and I'm afraid people won't like it and stop reading my story. And I don't want that. :(
2) It was HARD!! I've spent so much time on this one freaking chapter, its not even funny. But I do it for you guys! And I really, really, really hope you like it.
3) Writer's Block is a curse... let's leave it at that...
I also wanted to point out that I have had help with this story, my brand new Beta, n3v3rm0re, and one of my school band buddies who is either known as samara or darkbloodcross... she's changed her penname alot...
Anywho, I really hope you like it, but I won't know for sure unless you review!
If I was still a human, I wouldn't have noticed everything simultaneously like I did at that moment.
All at the same time, I felt warm air circulating around me. I heard, outside, numerous animals. Birds, deer, mice, even bugs scuttling along the ground near the house. But this wasn't what surprised me... for some reason I could tell what was making the sounds. I could feel that it was a deer moving through the brush about a mile away, a bird skimming the tree tops. It was a strange sensation, just a little tingling in the center of my brain that told me what it was.
I rubbed my hands against the soft cloth of the bed, and I could fell every single fiber. It felt different, like the material was too soft. I could barely feel it at all.
I felt strange. Empty somehow. I thought that maybe it was because my heart was no longer beating, the blood no longer flowing through my veins. Then, I realized it was because I wasn't breathing. I inhaled, deeply and smoothely, as I experienced one of the most important, vital, dangerous senses of a vampire, especially to a newborn. Smell.
I could smell everything. Hundreds of different things at once, even though I couldn't distinguish what they were. Although, I did recognize one. I could smell Edward to my right, the same beautiful intoxicating scent that I had gotten to know for the past two years. Except, it was sharper and it didn't cloud my senses.
As soon as I had inhaled, I felt Edward move next to me. I could feel it in the way the air shifted and I could hear his sharp intake of breath as he realized that I had waken up.
I opened my eyes and the brightness of Edward's room replaced the dark. What I saw astounded me. Every texture, every word on books and Edward's CDs, everything. I could see it all. It was like enhanced 3-D. I looked to my right and found what I was looking for. My angel. But he had a troubled look on his face. No, not troubled... stunned.
"Carlilse, Emmett!!" he bellowed. I expected them to be through the door in a second, but it seemed as though they were moving at a human pace as I heard their footsteps in the hall. Then I realized that they hadn't slowed down, my senses had just caught up.
Edward threw his arms around me with a force that should have knocked me down, but it didn't. And Edward didn't feel cold anymore. He wasn't hard either. He felt normal. We were equal now. We felt right. It was a wierd sensation, but I liked it.
"Dammit, Bella." he muttered. "Dammit, dammit... thank God..." There was something wrong. What had happened?
"Edward?" The single word flowed out of my mouth like honey. My voice sounded different. It was almost like Rosalie borrowed my voice or something like that.
As soon as the words came out of my mouth, Emmett and Carlilse walked swiftly into the door. Their expressions were hard to define. Surprised, wary, incredulous. Even though I could tell that something obviously had them distressed, I couldn't bring myself to worry about it. I was very preoccupied with all of these new feelings. But then I noticed something.
"Emmett?" Why did he get called in here? It wasn't like I didn't want to see him or anything, but Edward called specifically for Carlilse and Emmett. They all shared a look, and suddenly, I knew why.
"In case I lost control?" I asked smoothly with perfect articulation. They didn't have to answer. It was no secret that Emmett was the strongest one of the Cullens. If he wasn't enough to restrain me if I lost control, no one was.
I heard them before they came into the room and my head snapped toward the door. The rest of the Cullens were filing into Edward's room. They all had bewildered looks on their faces. Rosalie most of all. All except Alice. She was totally prepared for this situation.
Just then, two birds flitted past the window, drawing my attention back to the woods, and all of the animals inside it. The deer was closer now. I could hear it and I could sense it.
Without warning, I propelled myself toward the window. But seven pairs of strong hands held me back. "Not yet, not yet, Bella," Alice said soothingly.
I struggled for a few seconds, thinking about nothing but the warm blood running through the animals veins, and quenching the sudden, burning thirst in my throat. A liquid was pooling in my mouth and tasted somehow acidic. I could tell that it was my venom. But soon, I regained my composure. The vampires around me slowly loosened their hold.
I had had absolutely no intention of attacking the deer. It was like my muscles acted automatically, pulling me closer to my prey. It was very rash. I quickly looked at Edward, confused. He looked startled. He wasn't used to my swift movements yet.
"Instinct," he answered my unasked question gravely. "You don't even realize that its taken over until after its happened. That is what you have to learn to control."
I looked back outside. I thought about the deer again. It was even closer. I heard a loud snarl and I lept toward the window again, but they wouldn't let me go any further. I then realized that I was the one who snarled.
How could I possibly learn to control that? How can I control it if I can't even tell when its happening? I said, in my flowing honey-like voice, the only thing that I could think of. It sounded as though I was pleading. And maybe I was. "But it's so hard."
"I know, Bella," Jasper said softly. I looked at him. He was trying to calm me down, I could tell.
"I'm so sorry, Jasper," I whispered. I didn't have to say more. He knew what I was apologizing for. He was feeling the exact same feelings I am now, whenever I was in the same general area. How could he have possibly reigned those instincts in? I now had a new respect for Jasper. I knew how he felt this time.
I looked a them all in earnest. "I'm really thirsty," I begged. The burning in my throat was getting worse by the second, and I knew that whatever I needed to stop it was in that forest... so close. A low rumble came from deep within my chest.
They all looked at Carlilse. He sighed. "We will take you hunting now, Bella, but we must talk with you immediately after."
The rumbling was getting louder, and the burning exponentially worse. "Take me now," I demanded, a little more forcefully than I intended.
They all led me outside where I was hit with hundreds upon hundreds of smells ten times stronger than in Edward's room. I was shaking uncontrollably.
"Edward, you are the fastest," Esme reasoned. "You must try to keep up with her."
They let go of me and I was flying silently through the woods immediately. I could sense Edward on my tail, but I was much faster than him and I didn't even attempt to slow down. I was very thirsty.
There was a sound far to my right and I swerved and dove for it. I caught it and bit into its neck and the warm blood running down my throat felt so good. The feeling was undescribable and the smell of the blood was irresistable.
When I had drained it of every last drop, it was then that I stepped back to see what it was. And it was then, that my dead heart flipped over in my chest. A wolf.
I fell to my knees and started sobbing, without tears of course. I was feeling so many things at once, and this time Jasper wasn't here to calm me down.
I was confused about everything that was happening, the stunned looks that everyone had given me when I woke up, and I still didn't know what had them so worried, what went wrong. I hate being in the dark.
And I was devestated that my first victim as a newborn vampire had to be a wolf. I hate the irony.
That wolf had smelled so good. It was like, as a human, I was meant to be with Jacob, and as a vampire, I was meant to be against him. We were now enemies. And there was nothing I could do about it. I was horrified about my new instincts, and scared about what they could make me do. I hate my instincts.
I could feel that Edward was standing beside me. I could smell his beautiful scent. I stood and wrapped my arms around him, burying my head in his chest and breathing in the soothing aroma. It calmed me immediately. We stood there for a countless amount of time, just enjoying each other's presence. He wasn't ice cold anymore. He wan't hard like stone. He felt normal to me. We were equals now. And we would be like this forever. I love him.
After a while, though, the uncomfortable feeling in my throat began to creep back into my consiousness. As if he could read my mind, no pun intended, Edward pulled away and sighed. "You should catch a few more things before we go back."
I nodded and began to run once again. Once I had moved away from Edward, I could smell everything else again. I ended up catching a bear and a deer, which almost completely quenched my thirst. I couldn't smell anymore wolves nearby, and I was glad. I didn't want to kill another, but I don't think I could have stopped myself if the smell hit me again. The scent was absolutely delicious.
When I had finished off the deer, I stood and walked back over to Edward at vampire speed. He looked started again. "I don't think I'll ever get used to that," he said, smiling half-heartedly.
"I'm sure you will," I said smoothely.
He leaned down to my level, which actually wasn't very far. I had grown a few inches taller. He locked his eyes with mine. They were scorching, like molten lava. He sighed. "I'm going to miss that too."
"What?"
"Making you blush."
I laughed a beautiful ringing laugh. "I won't."
He smiled a half-smile again.
Suddenly, my head turned to the direction that the rest of the Cullens were in. "They are wondering what's taking us so long," I stated.
Edward looked confused. "How do you know?"
"I don't know," I whispered. It was a strange feeling. I didn't know how, but I knew that they were growing impatient. I could just feel it, that same little sensation in the center of my brain telling me what was going on. "We should get back."
With that, we sprinted back to the Cullen mansion hand in hand. I let Edward keep up with me this time. I was no longer being driven by my instinct. As much anyway. I still had to resist a little bit, but my thirst was pretty much gone.
Running was incredible, and I now knew what Edward had meant by "exhilerating." My feet were touching the forest floor, but they didn't make a sound, which made it feel like I was flying. The trees were zooming past us at an unimaginable speed and we evaded them with ease, jumping left, jumping right, and sometimes letting go of each other's hand so I tree could pass between us, and then locking them together again immediately.
I looked up, and I could see blurs of leaves and branches, and beyond that, the cloudy skies of the Olympic Peninsula. I laughed as I gazed up at the same dull sky that I had grown to love, in my human life, dodging trees all the while.
The Cullens were standing outside their huge mansion when we got back, with those same worried looks still plastered on their faces. I was getting tired of not knowing what was going on. Edward and I approached them briskly, holding hands. He squeezed my hand once.
"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" I asked, a bit irked that I had not found out yet. But I understood that getting me fed was number one on the "list-of-things-to-do-with-your-newborn-vampire."
They all looked at Carlisle. He stepped forward, looking at me in the eyes intently. "Bella," he started. "It is not often that I am at a loss for words."
I said nothing. I just stared right back at him.
He started again.
"It isn't serious. Just odd. Confusing." He looked around at the rest of the family. "I'm sure that you are well aware that the transformation of a vampire takes roughly three days. That wasn't exactly the case for you." He waited.
I glanced at everyone's face. Finally, I found a smile. Alice. She stepped forward. "Your transformation, Bella, took twelve days."
My eyes narrowed. I didn't know what to think of that. While I was in that translike state, I remembered not being able to tell how long it had been. Was I really undergoing that pain for that long? I glanced at Edward, who was looking back at me with an undiscernable expression.
"We didn't know it was possible. None of us expected this," Carlisle said. "Well, most of us," he corrected, looking at Alice.
"You knew?" I asked incredulously. If she knew, why didn't she tell anybody? Surely they were worried that something terrible had happened, that I wouldn't wake up for some unknown reason.
"Yes, I knew," she admitted shamelessly. "But I also knew that if I told you how long the transformation would take, Edward would refuse to bite you. I could see that everything would work out. Of course, I had to try very hard to block my mind from Mr. Nosy over here." She glared jokingly at Edward.
"But why did it take so long?" I asked, still confused. Like Carlilse said, it wasn't a problem, just strange.
"The only things that we have to work with are guesses," Carlilse said. "My best one is due to the fact that the venom had been in your body before. I think that maybe, like a virus, your body must a produced some kind of immune response to the venom. Of course, there is nothing strong enough to stop the venom once it starts. Your body just prolonged the process."
I thought about that theory. It was very logical reasoning on Carlisle's part.
"But nothing is wrong right? Am I just like a typical newborn at this point?" I asked, hoping that the answer was yes.
This time, Jasper stepped forward. "You are far less agressive than most. They usually feed constantly for the first day at least. But that is the only difference. You certainly look like a newborn."
I straightened up immediately. I had totally forgotten that I hadn't seen myself yet. I was suddenly excited. This was the part that I had been most eager for. To be beautiful, to look like the rest of the Cullens.
"I need a mirror," I whispered as I flew into the house and into Edward's massive bathroom within a second. I gasped as I took in the sight before me. The eyes that were staring back at me were disturbing. Blood red. They looked so out of place. And it reminded me of the Volturi and their blood red eyes and the innocent people that were led into that dark chamber to be killed. I shut my eyes and turned around.
Edward was there already, and he put his arms around me comfortingly. "They will change within a year, Bella. Don't worry."
I took my head away from his chest to see that he was holding a box of contacts. I took them gratefully and saw that they were topaz, the same color of his. I smiled and put them in quickly.
When I turned back around, I was rather pleased with what I saw, although I could still see a faint outline of red around the edges of my irises. That was ok, though. It was an improvement.
I decided to focus on the rest of my body. I was paler and my face was soft, but still angular somehow. My eyebrows were more defined, my eyes were not as spaced apart, and my lips were now in proportion with my face. But even with these changes, I was still recognizable.
My face was framed by gorgeous hair, deeper and richer in color, longer, and silky smooth. My eyes travelled down.
My breasts were bigger and my waist was smaller. I was very slender and my pants fit loosely. I was taller too. I was very pleased with these changes and smiled. My own smile took my breath away.
"What do you think?" I asked, turning to Edward.
"Beautiful," he said as he leaned in closer. His lips paused about a centimeter away from mine, and then I kissed him for the first time as a vampire. It felt so different. I had never actually kissed a human before and I had gotten used to his cold marble lips. But now, I imagined that this is how it must feel to everybody else, when a human kisses a human.
His warm lips moved against mine, slowly at first, but then more passionately. His tongue grazed my bottom lip and I met it with mine. The feeling was indescribable.
His hands travelled up and down my back, and I lifted my leg and locked it around his waist tightly. I put my arms around his neck, trying to pull myself even closer to him--
"Ow, not so tight, Bella," he said against my lips. I had forgotten that I was now about ten times stronger than Edward. I pulled away and looked at him mischeiviously. I was about to have fun.
I put my hands against his chest and shoved him backwards out of the bathroom. I smiled wider. Oh, I was going to have a lot of fun.
I kept pushing him back until he was standing with his back facing his enormous bed. I shoved him once more and he fell backward onto the bed and I was immediately on top of him, kissing him passionately again. He, of course, had a huge grin on his face the entire time.
"I could get used to this," I said in between kisses.
"I could too," he replied.
So far, this transformation was not what I expected. Edward was right, I didn't know what I was getting myself into.
But I was right about one thing. Even now, it was worth it. And I knew that everything would get even better with time.
Even now in Edward's arms, I could feel the burning thirst in the back of my throat, but I knew that that would get better. It didn't matter to me. All that mattered was that Edward was here with me, and he would always be with me, and nothing would change that. I am ready for anything Fate can throw at me, as long as my angel is there to help me face it.
Once again, I apologize for taking so long with this chapter. Like I said earlier, I was scared and it was really hard. But I tried to make it longer than usual just for you. I really hope you like it.
I'd like to give a special thanks to Cassie, otherwise known as samara, darkbloodcross, or Alice (haha, she calls me Lil' Bells... sorry, Cassie, I just had to let em know... lol) for helping me out with this chapter. And some of the ideas in this story belong to her too. For instance, she came up with the name, Solar Flare... So thanx again!
Next chapter is Edward's point of view of Bella's transformation. (Yay, another hard one... you guys know that I do it all for you...) Review!! PLZ!!