Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist.

My Armor Owns Your Ashtray

Chapter Eight: Alphonse is Just Like Every Other Teenager Out There. Whiney.

He wasn't exactly sure how it happened. It just wasn't possible! Did the kid manage to help plot a pet-shop jailbreak or something? There was no way Al could have found so many in such a short amount of time. Unless…unless it built up over time, since he hadn't gotten his hands on any in a few days, but…

"I can't believe it," Havoc thought aloud, banging his head against the kitchen table and groaning loudly.

"I know, isn't it great?" Alphonse said, cuddling with the nearest ball of fur in sight. Havoc would have thought the sight adorable and would've taken a picture under normal circumstances, however…they were everywhere. In his shoes, in his favorite coffee mug, in his bed, under his bed, in the bathtub, everywhere.

"Alphonse, when did all of this happen?" Havoc asked, trying his best to sound calm.

"This morning."

"No, no, now it's morning," Havoc grumbled, pointing grumpily at the clock on the wall, "Before was not morning. Better yet, where did all these cats come from?!"

"The street," Al answered and gave Havoc a look, questioning his sanity. I mean, where else would cats come from?

"Al. We have about a dozen or so of these little guys in here. A dozen. How in the world did you find—"

"—Seventeen to be exact."

"Right, seventeen. Seventeen?! Alphonse, we are not keeping all of these damn cats!" Havoc shouted, banging his fist against the table for better emphasis, causing a nearby kitten to roll off the table and onto the floor, bringing the centerpiece with it. And slowly, slowly, Alphonse's expression began to change. That's when Havoc realized what he'd just said, bringing his hand up to his mouth.

"Why not?!" Alphonse cried angrily, putting down the cat in his arms and glaring fiercely at the other man.

"Uh, well, hon', ya' see…" Havoc said, not entirely sure how to deal with the furious teen. One would think that the entire office would be used to Alphonse bringing in strays and asking if he could keep it. Occasionally, the members of the office had to tell the poor boy no, that he couldn't keep it, when his brother wasn't around. This was so much easier when he was solid steel.

"Well?" Alphonse said, angry tone and body language speaking much louder than his actual voice. All the signs of lonely nights in place, all poor Havoc could do was gulp and stutter out the response.

"W-well, Al," he began, backing down a little more when he noticed that the arms on the sides of Al's chair were no longer…well, present. "Fine, we can keep the—" Havoc started again, a little depressed, but interrupted by a loud crash. And there went his favorite mug. His mug in his apartment that he had to now clean up with his own time and would most likely be paying for the pet food with his money. "God damn it, Al, no!"

"But why?!" Al cried, angry demeanor gone, desperate puppy-dog eyes on display, "Puh-lease?"

"No."

And so, desperate times call for desperate measures, Al thought, sliding out of his chair and into Havoc's lap. It didn't take long for Havoc to realize what was happening, but by then it was already too late. Alphonse was sitting in his lap, placing kisses all over his face, and his hands were roaming all over the other man. And oh were they roaming.

"A-are you seducing me?" Havoc said, bewildered.

"Yes."

"Well, it won't work. I am a man of many great things and resisting temptation is one of the things I'm very good at!" Havoc said, crossing his arms and frowning heavily.

"We'll see." And off went his pants.

He did not know how it happened. Alright, that was a lie, he knew full well how. The thing was, he didn't want to believe it. Unfortunately, the girls on the street would not leave him alone about it.

"Mommy, mommy! Can I walk Miko when we get home?" a child asked his mother happily, earning him a quirked eyebrow.

"Why would you want to do that?" his mother asked.

"Well, the big mister over there is doing it!"

And deep inside, Havoc knew that he had lost all sense of dignity. Now if only this cat would cooperate and actually walk.

"Damn cats."

Well, that's it for this one. I liked writing this one a lot, but it might be because I had good company IMing me. Thanks for everyone who's reading, your support is welcome.

I figured I'd start moving away from writing about sex. I mean, it was fun and amusing the first few times, but it's getting a little old. HOWEVER, I couldn't resist that tidbit towards the end.