Freak Boy Chapter 2
Sonny stirred, shifting the detritus that lay on and around him. Shaking his head to clear his vision, he looked up and saw Spinelli standing a few feet away. The young hacker was looking away from him, and he held something loosely in his right hand, pointed at the ground.
Sonny shifted preparing to lift himself up to a kneeling position. He froze when he realized that the object in Spinelli's hand was a gun- Sonny's own pistol. Even from his vantage point Sonny knew the safety was off.
Spinelli's head turned toward him and Sonny was shocked to see the change in the young man, the alien anger burning in his gaze.
"Why? Why does Mister Sir hate and despise the Jackal so?" Spinelli's tone was slow and even, but it contained nothing but sharp edges, and the menace of gears grinding.
"Spinelli, look… you know what? Just, just put the gun down. You hearing me? Just put…."
The gunshot sounded immense in the confines of the alleyway. The bullet tore through the garbage inches to the right of Sonny and screamed off the pavement and into the night. Sonny flinched, blinking sweat out of his eyes rapidly. The crushing silence immediately after the shot was only broken by the jingle of a shell casing bouncing on the ground.
"Fuck! Spinelli!"
"Answer the question!"
Smoke and hot vapor rose and twisted from the gun barrel. Sonny looked up into the gun's smoking, single black eye, now pointed directly at his face.
"What do you want from me? I lost it okay? It was a mistake! I wasn't going to… I wasn't gonna really hurt you. It was just a mistake, all right?"
Spinelli stepped forward and Sonny couldn't seem to unlock his gaze from the gaping hole of the gun barrel. It seemed to be expanding, becoming the largest thing in his world- an opening to the void.
"Mister sir can't or won't give me an answer, but the Jackal has ideas," Spinelli whispered through clenched teeth.
"You don't hate me as much as you hate weakness. Your own weakness, reminders of it. You hate your own choices and what they've done to you… what they've left you with."
Sonny didn't want to hear any more. He raised one hand as if to ward of the gun.
Spinelli continued, his voice cold and relentless.
"You chose your lover over your son, and he took the bullet meant for you. You chose freedom and peace over your own children- a chance at a new life, right? What a joke! You turned your back on them so you could start over. Was it easier to let little Michael go knowing that he could never again be the son you wanted? The full, whole object of your pride? How many times have you visited him since you had him taken away like a dirty secret you want to hide?"
Sonny shook his head over and over. He opened his mouth but no sound came out.
"You chose revenge and a chance to grab some power back over the trust of your best friend. It must make you angry when you see me- knowing that I have that trust now. Knowing how much the Jackal cherishes what you threw away."
"Shut up! Shut up, shut up!" Sonny muttered, his face a mask of agony. His eyes were now distant and unfocused, haunted and full of pain. His demons were on him now, tearing at him, probing the deep wounds. The physical pain of his battered body was nothing in comparison.
"How many people that you have claimed to love have you destroyed? You talk about loyalty, but you have none! You are empty- nothing! Take away your precious pride and there's nothing left! When you feel powerless you find someone weaker than you and you exploit them to prop yourself up. It's pathetic! As if that could ever change anything. That's not me anymore- get it? Never again."
You'll never beat me again, you'll never abuse or belittle me again. It's over.
Spinelli didn't have to say the words. They hung in the air between the two men like hieroglyphs of fire, inscribed inches deep. They were a Rosetta stone of sorts. Sonny now understood Jackalese perfectly.
Spinelli took another step forward. He held the gun, unwavering, pointed at Sonny's head. His rage still boiled, and he wanted nothing more than to pull the trigger.
Sonny had raised himself to his haunches, and he rocked back and forth.
"Deke…" he muttered under his breath. "Deke was shot dead in an alley."
Spinelli had no idea what he was talking about.
Deke had been Sonny's abuser. He had done terrible things to a woman and child because they were weaker than him, and he needed somewhere to put his bitterness, to vent his disappointment in life. As a reward he had been gunned down and left to die in an alley.
"Just like this one," Sonny thought.
"What are you?" Spinelli asked. His fingers clutching the gun were white.
Sonny looked down, rubbed his clenched fists into his forehead.
"What are you? I want to hear you say it!" Spinelli brought the gun even closer, the barrel lined up with Sonny's temple.
"I'm a… I'm…" Sonny muttered, the words tearing loose from somewhere deep inside.
Spinelli glared at him, his eyes wild. He gestured with the gun.
"Come on!"
"I'm a freak boy!" Sonny groaned. "I'm a freak boy… a freak boy…" he moaned as he collapsed forward onto his hands.
Suddenly Sonny vomited onto the pavement in a great shuddering expulsion. Black bile stained the pavement, as dark as sin.
Spinelli felt as if a great weight had been lifted from his chest, and he could breath again. At the same time the fury that had possessed him uncoiled and dissipated, leaving him feeling suddenly ill. The gun shook now in his hand. What had he been about to do?
He looked down at Sonny and now wanted to offer him some comfort, but he knew there was only one thing he could do now that would make any difference, that would be understood by a man like this.
"Listen to me, Mister Sir. The Jackal will never repeat the tale of this night to anyone. It will be a secret kept between the Former Godfather and the Jackal. Our own unholy little pact. Keep your pride for now, but know this- if you betray Stonecold again, if your hubris punishes him in any way, the Jackal will make sure that you won't even have that left to hold on to. I'll take your life apart. Not one stone will be left upon another. And then the Jackal will come back for you and end your miserable existence once and for all."
Sonny knelt with his head down for a long time, trying to regain some measure of the control that he always valued so highly. When he finally became fully aware of his surroundings again, Spinelli was gone.
On the docks Spinelli stood staring out at the water. Tears stained his cheeks, and he felt almost overwhelmed by a strange mixture of shame, pride and relief. He looked down at the gun in his hand. He had experienced a moment of power that no one should ever have to embrace. In a way he had abused it as so many men did. Men like Sonny Corinthos, Alcazar, Karpov, Anthony Zacharra… the list seemed endless. But now he new his name didn't belong on it and never would. In the end he had held himself in check. He had not fallen into the abyss, and he had found himself again.
Spinelli threw the gun with all of his strength and it arced out into the dark water, disappearing without a sound.
Several tug boats were crossing the port with a barge, and their lights reflected and bounced from the cold waters. It looked like Christmas and Independence Day rolled into one. Spinelli turned and began to walk home, thinking of the people that waited for him.
Back in the alley, Sonny began to pick himself up, his whole body conducting its own symphony of pain. He stepped away from the pile of garbage but the smell and the blood and the ground in stains were inescapable. His twelve hundred dollar suit was ruined.
Spinelli had said that no one would know about tonight, but Sonny would know.
Like the putrid scents that covered him now, the reality was unavoidable.
Sonny staggered toward the city. Port Charles, the town that he had once held firmly in the palm of his hand. But the city lights were out.
There was only darkness ahead.
Author's Note: This story was written for a fanfic contest and the prompt was Role Reversal. All I knew when I started it was that I wanted Sonny and Spinelli to switch roles, to switch power and perception, and I keyed on the "freak boy" phrase. This wasn't intended as a hate letter to the character of Sonny Corinthos or as a bash against him, though I am sure it reads that way. I am sure even Sonny's hardcore fans have to admit that he is a deeply flawed and conflicted character, and that is part of the reason that he has been compelling to watch over the years. This wasn't meant as an all out indictment of Sonny, it's just one little scenario I wanted to explore. Thanks.