To Be Liberated From Envy
II
Innocence Of A Sinful Being
Why are we born?
Why are we cut out from the womb, that dark place, the blood-ocean, when we are unified, a part of something?
Why are we forced to become someone or no-one, why are we made into a whole organism?
When I asked mother this she said, " To know the answers you must become human."
" But, being the human defies my reluctance to be complete with you."
" Then my little envy of a child; be whatever you please, whatever that makes you happy."
So from Wilhelm to Envy: the man who could be whatever he wants; or shall I say whoever he wants.
In the afternoon delight of light and perpetuity of heat Envy ate lunch comprised of steak, potatoes and some carrots, some other vegetables too. He was disappointed. The lark did not sing early; he had expected a torture in stopping a planned, amateur escape yet this did not happen.
Everything was motionless; just as before, just as he had hated it.
The storage was packed as Dante had exceptionally packed preparations for everything and if there was a lacking, he could always murder a butcher, steal his belongings of meat which he was hoping to sell or a fine greengrocer's corpse found which meant his stock gone as well. Yet, he could only steal from them minus the deaths; Boring without the kills yet applicable.
Yet there was ample food, able to last three or four for a year or two for Dante was a misanthrope; misery for mankind means overly-sufficient stores of replenishing basics and a massive, discreet sanctuary from the rest of the population. This mansion, though large, could not be easily detected; it had the vegetation and the secretive nature of the forest to be grateful. A misanthrope's guide to salvation must consult Dante as an architect.
Breakfast for Envy was mango. They were out of season yet seasonable in his store.
All he had alone, it was quite miserable indeed. A life of indolence; if he were to be Envy then this aspect was not enviable of him.
Then he ate another steak accompanied by the same assortments. Because, he was hungry...Because Winry Rockbell didn't think in her sleep to dream of awakening.
So, he decided to play a jest by himself. He transfigured his form as Winry's and became nude. He went to a guest bedroom; those too, for a matter that seemed grandiose to Envy, were filled with gowns and other clothes. He dressed himself in a gown and went to Winry's room (he decided that the death of Dante easily terminated it from being her room any longer).
He looked himself in the mirror then he screamed (his jest expanded, no longer limiting it to himself), " Look Edward, Look!" his voice sickly shrill, " I can be a girl so those lumps are not just there for show!"
At this the blonde girl who was the real body got up and screamed upon seeing herself, " What's goin' on?!"
" Oh please stop the melodrama, it's me idiot." Envy spoke in his voice, then slowly undressed his female, Winry body, " See, you are pretty..." completely nude, he kissed the mirror that bore his fake reflection and laughed with joy.
" Oh! Oh!" Winry was furious, " You perverse soulless asshole!" She threw a pillow at him, " I'm leaving right now!"
" In those?" with a brow Envy accentuated her half-nakedness, " Haven't we discussed running around in the forest like that is an ill-omen?"
With sheets around her Winry yelled, " We haven't discussed anything – and, where are my clothes..."
Envy, still bearing a naked body of Winry, uttered, nonchalantly, boringly scrutinizing his nails, " I threw them away."
Winry, explode, catastrophically, fired, so with absolute intense action lunged at Envy, " You Bastard!!"
At this point Envy had reverted to a clothed, un-naked self that was his own and teasingly dodged her, " If you don't behave I may have to remove your lingerie too!" he shamelessly grinned, obviously a method to enrage the haplessly, infuriated individual.
" I'll kill you!" she breathed, attempting to control herself.
" With what girl?" he added sarcastically, " Your ample bosoms?"
" You chauvinistic pig!" mouthed Winry.
" No dear, not a chauvinist but a realist..." in a serious tone, " You are human being and I am a ageless homunculus; even Ed with his automail arm, your best designed, had problems killing me, hell hurting me was a chore, Hughes couldn't fuck me up with a bullet to the head and you having no other weapons believe you can do me in? Quite humanely stupid of you Miss Rockbell; you are ineffective right now so unless you are a real warrior like that Izumi Curtis I suggest you shut-up."
" Thank-you for reminding me that I got a wrench with your name on it!" Winry rushed forward and swiftly pounded a multitude of blows to Envy's head and face (he too surprised and pained to counter-attack), " And this is for Maes Hughes!" she immediately dug the wrench inwards; a powerful, antagonistic, agonizing, furious scream arouse from the lips of Envy. There, upon his forehead, was deeper, gaping, profusely bleeding hole.
Winry, surprised at her own monstrosity, yelped feebly then cried in adrenaline tears, " I'm leaving!"
She had ran, scrambled, done herself to exhaustion just by escaping through the stairs, the main gate closer to her like a free enjoyment of a window-air when Envy leaped upon the middle, with her hand outstretched almost to the handle; she shrieked. His bloodstained wounds have healed unaltered skin, still clinging to the history of blood that was superficially there as jewels on a lady. He looked too monstrous, too evil, more than the typical self; Winry knew she provoked a burden.
She knew this as she became airborne, her breath too bewildered to scream and it is when upon her zenith of flight she realized she was so close to the walls of the ceiling that she knew with painful reality that the fall would be stern as hail; it is upon this condition she screamed as she submerged with weight as gravity, the spoiled brat, brought her to the floor. It was agonizingly still, her body, it had felt paralyzed, broken. Was her bones broken? She could not tell as she was unable to move to feel the pain thus maybe, she concluded that she had become wholly disjointed. She stared angrily, painfully, astoundingly, inquisitively, dreamily (her head pained) at her oppressor. Whose face held, held that atrocious, wider than usual, triumphant, and satisfactory for evil, satisfied grin. She cursed him inwardly but her mouth lacked kinetic components to yell it out. The warrior in her refused to plead, to beg for release from this pearl-like prison; it also relied on not crying; but the human weakness of surprise made her howl in pain and cry tears of bewilderment and dejection at her condition.
" Well, nice try," slowly amidst her howls, " It was good thin your hand was out towards the door; easy for me to grab it and throw you." Then angrily, " You hurt me Winry Rockbell so I hurt you."
Winry heard but her comprehension was dull by her pain and tears; she was too much in misery, she thought she couldn't cry more.
" Oh shut-up!" Envy was fatigued from hearing Winry's howls, " You should be happy I didn't throw you that hard you know; yes, hard, but not by that much! If I did throw with excess strength and speed your bones would be broken now! It's just your muscles now! You won't be able to move for some time but that's it!"
Envy angrily stomped away
Winry cried quieter now
She felt so...helpless...she hated herself...
Envy had gone for a nap. In actuality he was unfamiliar with how to soothe humans, killing yes, but he had been quite a flamboyant, arrogant lad even as a young human. Simply put, he knew how to break hearts but mending them needed alchemy of another sort.
He took an hour long nap in Winry's room knowing well that the muscle-strain would leave her immobilized for a day. Unlike Izumi, Ed, Riza or Al Winry had not learn martial arts so how to withstand these sort of agony was quite imperceptible to the untrained individual. He was sorry, truly he was; he had no previous intentions to hurt her but she had truly hurt him; she could be quite acceptably ferocious with that wrench and Winry need some immobilization. She was full of energy in resisting things and he needed to weary it for a while. He now realized he had no intentions for a repeat of the actions he did if she attempted another escape. He didn't like seeing her hurt. After all a scarred human (the perfect prototype for a homunculus) was indeed a deniable company.
After the nap he had gone thinking Winry would be attempting to get up and do a dash to the exit. So, there was surprise and worry at seeing her on the exact same spot.
" Winry..." he called softly but there was no response.
He quickly rushed to her and saw her eyes open but she didn't seem coherent, "WINRY!!" he screamed as it dawned upon his psyche that he shouldn't have been severe. What if Winry could have faced internal bleeding? Then, she could be dying!
That's when he slapped Winry hard on the face, " Winry! Winry! Get up! Get up! Fuck you get up!"
" It's no use..." the blank face and the monotonous voice scared him, Winry spoke again, " It's no use, I'm a prisoner here as I was there..." then tears fell from that stone face,
" Why is it there is no escape? I feel like this automail everyone's working on...why, why? Ed, Ed will you leave Rose for a while...Ed, I'm here, Envy, Envy is so, Envy is trying to hurt me...Ed, I don't know alchemy, I don't know how to stop him...Ed, if you teach me Alchemy, I know I'll be able to hurt him – get away, because I know you won't come to save me...help, help, help, someone, I'm here, I'm alive! I'm alive! Why isn't anyone looking for me!? Please! Please!"
Winry body jerked out of control and Envy grabbed her tear-flooded face and slapped her, " Winry! Winry! Snap out of it!" then desperately, " I'm sorry Winry! I didn't mean to hurt you that hard! I was afraid you would leave! Please Winry!"
But Winry only spoke what her heart knew: misery – in broken love and broken dream, and broken life, " Ed, why, why didn't...no, I guess I just thought that it would be great, great to just think you were mine and I yours. It hadn't ever occur to me...it had never did...what you would feel...I never thought; I'm so sorry..." slower now, " I'm so sorry..."
" This is bad..." Envy spoke aloud, " She's in shock..." he closed his eyes and led a frustrated yell in release, " I don't know what I can possibly do!" then his eyes grew to their largest capability, " Maybe, maybe – I think I know..." carrying Winry, stroking her cheek affectionately, " My dear Winry, I'll help you but you must forgive me..."
He ran to Winry's room and opened the grand bathroom where Dante passed her hours in indolent admiration of her beauty; her sloth was sensuous and self-sexual pleasure no foreign art to that bizarre woman; she would like to examine every inch of that new body. Dante was perversely bisexual and these attributes disturbed Envy. Once he recalled how she made love to a woman to experiment her 'new image' then possessed the girl stating, " This body is surely erotic..." then licking her newly born breast, " I can't wait to bewitch an exciting new lover to play with: I prefer a man now seeing I had already done myself with another's flesh."
Yet, Dante would, with her ancient flesh look angry, incited, mournful and just plain forlorn. Her breasts seemed illuminated even in an old body, so was her curves still, despite time's stealing fingers, a pattern of excellence; yet she was still old. So she hated her maid Lyra, who was beautifully youthful, with centimetres respectably gorgeous and a sort of flavour that interested people who pursue aesthetics. It was one of these reasons that made Lyra become hired as maid and apprentice to Dante; Dante could not withstand any longer the pain of not being beautiful in terms of body. The last fragments of the philosopher's stone were preserved for the purpose of a new body.
She had first opted to gain Izumi's body but Izumi was too strong; both physically and mentally for her to seize suddenly and get control off. Also, Izumi was around nineteen when she came to learn from Dante; at that time Dante only wished to possess a younger body notably around seventeen years of age due to the fact she wanted the fun and the flesh to last longer. Rose's body was perfect after Lyra's body begun degenerating so rapidly; for her mind was weakened, crumbled by torture and rape. However, as Envy always knew, his mother had a stupidity to overestimate herself and underestimate even her puppets; the solid evidence was Lust. Envy actually felt sympathetic for her, unlike the previous Lust, who was a woman from a village near Lior, the Ishvalan Lust was preferably more headstrong and efficient, that previous Lust, a runaway or was she an exile? Well, she had a scandalous outfit, had golden hair and was a nymphomaniac. She used torturous sex to punish or murder her victims. Rose was strong too, Dante had forgotten that after all that poor Liorian had endured she still lived and decided to carry on; Envy admired her as well.
Envy quickly filled the water of the grand, gargantuan bathtub and slowly peeled off Winry's undergarments; he hesitated seeing her nakedness, he flinched his sight (he didn't wish to rape her with his eyes as he knew she had given no consent to see her naked) but he then dropped Winry in that cold, ice water and immediately submerged her head into that mass of liquid. After a few moments Winry gasped and sprayed around her limbs attempted to get the hand that sealed her to the water away. Envy allowed a minute to pass before he released her and out gushed forth a teary, tired, red-eyed stained Winry with a wet. Blonde ponytail and coughed out an armada of droplets. She gasped, breathed in difficulty and attempted to focus with her hand on her chest. Then she collapsed on the water, her head sticking out, her previous injury not yet forgotten as now the adrenaline had dissipated. She began to cry then looked ferociously at Envy; who at these moments were mute.
" Are you alright?"
" Go away!" Winry barked coarsely, her weak voice, " Just leave..." then intensely, " Why are you trying to drown me now?"
" I wasn't trying to do that!" Envy yelled audaciously, " You became sick so I tried to snap you outta it!"
" Why...why am I naked?" she looked upsettingly tired as she questioned it.
Envy wasn't staring at her body, his eyes did not leave her face, " I'm sorry but at that moment it was necessary."
" You hurt me so don't say sorry!"
" I know..." Envy hung his head.
" I want to go home...please, please – they'll miss me, my family..."
" You sounded like Ed wouldn't miss you at all!" Envy was so depressed at all these consequences that he lost composure; he banged his fist into a wall to create a hole.
Winry gasped then with energy (though still traumatized), " I don't think Ed is like you so he won't forget me!"
" Who said anything about similarities!" Envy was melancholic, " You were the one in a trance saying how selfish you were not considering his feelings and all that! How you thought he was yours and you were his! So, excuse me for bringing up that bullshit!"
" I said all those things?" Winry was shocked.
Envy realized that he shouldn't have spoken of it, " Yes, you did." It was irreversible now.
Winry got into a sitting position, she hugged herself and cried softly, " I'm always trying to forget," she shivered, " But Ed keeps popping up..."
Envy looked sadly at her bereavement so he took off the band of her hair to let it down and put in the turn for hot water. Winry sobbed and was lost in herself and Envy just stood as a sentinel seeing the now warm water sizzle. He turned off when the bathtub began to overflow and looked indifferent; he didn't know the alchemy to cure this. Then again his kind were incapable of alchemy as they incapable of souls.
" Do you want to talk about it...?" he muttered it, slow and steady, as if he was walking in a void.
" What...?" she trembled.
" I obviously knew," he started, " That you were lost, that something was wrong, nor else why would you be far out here, Ed and Al are in Rizembool now, so there's no need for you to travel out like this."
" Do you think," there was an eerie tempo in Winry's voice, " That I'm a tagalong that needs them to travel!" she barked.
Envy was startled then answered, " But from what I know you based your entire life on Ed and Al – they were people you could not forget or allow yourself to forget. They are people that you wouldn't mind...wouldn't mind waiting forever for..."
" Maybe I should change my life strategy then; it's obvious that those two have found peace, now it's my turn." She was mournful.
" I always knew that you were in love with Edward, it was a no-brainer," Envy talked softly, with a precision that evoked no indifference, " I also suspected that is why you became such an automail expert; I mean it was your duty to help them anyway you could."
" It...It wasn't always Ed." Winry spoke, there was no angry, just a muted silence even in her tone, " I liked automail but truthfully it was him that gave me a lot of motivation. But, I was as careless as Edward."
" Careless?" this got Envy interested.
" I felt I could understand death if I learned automail, thought it could replace death but – it wasn't enough, life is like a complex machine, it has simple buttons but it requires so much wires, gears and outlets to work. I thought Mom and Dad would come back if I...learned enough, replace their bodies with metal...but unlike Ed I let go of that careless dream nor else something similar like that would happen to me." Winry let out the last of tears in quietness.
" So, you are lucky..." Envy gave a small smile, a sort of reassurance but –
" No, I have a fate worse than Ed's." Winry looked livid, " I didn't have experience or any other thing to placate me when my illusions were broken maybe this is life's way of teaching me that those serious clowns like Edward who believe in the impossible gain more of the real at the end of it all; possible thinkers as myself only get the scraps that they themselves made..." then with determination, " I hate life; it's not equivalent exchange: It's a nightmare with some loopholes."
" Then why didn't I get something in return?" Envy emphasized.
" You got your wish," Winry muttered a bit furiously at him, " You got to kill your Dad."
" That maybe," Envy began still resting himself against one of the walls, " But, I ain't having a ball like Ed..." a bit more serious, " It took me more than a couple of centuries to just taste that betrayer's blood and not only that, I had to live within myself knowing that I'm just a product of some temporary affair..." another punch, another hole, Winry was startled, she looked, " I did everything for him! I tried to be the perfect son! How can he forget about me! He never gave me a chance!" Winry looked befuddled...Envy started crying, " What about Lust or Greed, or Sloth, Or Pride Or Even Gluttony," He edged a bit closer to the bathtub, " Did they get what they wanted?! Did they have an alternative bliss!? No! I am angry that it has happened this way! It was purely stupid! Even after I have killed Dad! Even after I haven't disappeared! I...I...can't move on in life...because..." he looked defeated, "...There's nothing normal about me...I'm not human...I can't live in one place for too long...I know that if I tried people would become suspicious...they will learn that something's wrong with me...I will look the same...also, unlike people, with normal goals, I don't believe I can have any...I mean believe it or not but don't you think a homunculus stands out a lot I mean, even if he or she wants something it seems trivial because it is not really there for them. They are eternal as long as someone does something or, I don't know, something changes in them." He looked oddly sad, " I don't have a love or a life, I'm destined to live in this difficult eroding mansion, I can exist on humanely food but those prototype stones actually help me live. They might dry up in a million years or in some months, As I am the first created homunculus of known history or of the Sinful Seven of Dante I have lot of incomplete stones in my body. I just don't know where to go."
Winry actually looked sympathetic, " I do feel sorry for you." Then angrily, " But then again this is what you deserve," Envy looked bewildered at Winry's sudden fire, " You hurt me right now so selfishly, you killed Maes Hughes, you have slaughtered so many people, so many innocent people; this your punishment, an exile into nothingness."
" But isn't it the same for you," a bit annoyed, Envy stared at Winry, " And you haven't slaughtered anyone..."
Winry grew surprised, then determinedly, " I think I can escape from her and start a new life..." she smiled, " An automail shop somewhere else, hell, I can take a break from automail and do painting, too artistic for me, or even a part-time waitress, living life means a lot to me now..."
" You're a fool."
" I thought you compared yourself to Ed meaning you admit you're the clown." Winry looked malevolent.
" Winry, you are uneasy with yourself jumping into conditions will only make it worse," Envy looked peacefully at her, " I should know...I'm existing because of my parents' decision."
Winry looked, stared and then finally admitted, " You're right," she felt helpless, " I'm being punished for stupid desires."
" Now that's and exaggeration..." Envy spoke purposefully, " You haven't done anything so wrong that you need a sentence," then a sad smile as he turned his face away, " I'm a sinner on the other hand; you were right, I'm being punished for being a blasphemy to the whole order." He thought of his Ouroborus, " How ironical, that I, represent a image of something that is supposed to be natural; a snake displaying life's cycle, how atrocious."
" I have never really been a damsel of distress..." Winry commented suddenly, " Feeling incapacitated is making me feel so infuriated; I need to make something..." she got up then wobbled and felt a sharp agonizing prick upon her legs, then SPLASH into the water once more, " Oh, muscle cramp..."
Envy blushed hard and yelled, " Hey don't do that I'm here you know!"
" Wait, What...?" Winry looked dreamily at him, then annoyed, " Oh so last night's performance was not a no-brainer you perverted little rat!"
Envy breathed shyly then a bit exasperatedly, " Ok, " he relaxed, " I know that was totally uncalled for, but..." he looked red, " I mean I hadn't seen a pretty girl in a long while so I got a bit rude!"
" A bit rude!" Winry shrieked, " You looked like a rotten pervert!"
" Ok I'm sorry for that and for throwing you half in the air..." Envy looked genuinely apologetic, " I got carried away and tensed and then I was too obnoxious to say sorry.,. I was scared you would leave and tell the Elrics and I didn't want to fight..." he looked very quiet then, " I know Ed would want my head seeing how I killed our father but...but...I had no other purpose in life...and I just didn't wanna leave in general..."
" That really doesn't excuse you for a murder." Winry explained, " And as I see now you aren't a total fuck-up I don't mind sticking around." Winry realized her use of the 'f' word amused Envy, " But, I will eventually leave Envy, I still can't completely trust you."
" Understandable." Envy nodded, " And you are right, I have done horrible things; I know I shouldn't have hurt others, I killed Hughes but believe me," Envy looked straight at her, " I couldn't help it...it was Dante's orders and though I don't always listen to her, that time Hughes discovered too much. I worked so hard to get closer to Hohenheim, I just knew he was alive so I just couldn't lose it all..."
" Didn't it ever bother you what your mother tried to do?' Winry questioned.
" Not really, I guess because Dad and Mom seemed always to do it but I guess I felt that those humans around them deserved it, I mean they hadn't a clue about this important fact of alchemy. But, I knew that this parade of longevity wouldn't last now; it was too moronic. I guess I looked at my parents as two kids in a sandbox, after a while all the sand would be gone, they'd cry and go home." He sighed.
" So it never pricked your conscious?' Winry looked a bit uneasy. She felt bad for him truly.
" As I mentioned it was far too complex," he grinned sadly, " How can a child or a young adult understand why his parents defy moral principles when he's too busy trying to please them? They were always so distant from me, I guess even if my conscious bothered me I just couldn't take it so I just followed after them."
" Hohenheim Of Light seems so crude and cruel in your memories," Winry clutched herself and got up, " I always knew him as the Forest-Love Bear..."
" The What?" Envy looked so surprised he didn't turn around until the last minute.
" It was a soft and cuddly bear my Mom use to tell me about when I was kid, a bear who is caring, loving and a friend of the forest. Hohenheim Of Light seemed like that."
" Well, it's obvious he changed, he's bound to after being alive for centuries." Envy snorted.
" Hey give me a robe or something I'm cold." She sneezed.
" There's one around. Just go through that wooden closet and you'll find it." Envy advised her and she went near the closet and suddenly cried, " Hey what is it?" He was about to turn when Winry delivered.
" Wow!" another cry, " Dante has tons of beautiful robes!" she took out a Chinese red one and wrapped it on herself, " I guess I'll need some new clothes seeing you threw my old ones out..." she said annoyingly as Envy turned around and peeked; seeing that she was dressed he turned completely.
" I lied." He grinned, " I washed them so they are still wet, Dante has clothes of every era so you can raid her walk-in closets, she has more than two small rooms as her wardrobe, ah-" Envy was caught short when a soap was shoved into his mouth by an enraged Winry.
" It's a good thing I'm tired nor else you'd say sorry to your butt as I'd kick it red!" she walked out as Envy spat out the soap and washed his mouth then followed her to the closets.
" This place seems to be a cross between a museum and a boutique." Winry looked at the awesome space devoted to garments, some ancient that even Pinako might refuse to wear and some as crazily new as those wealthy girls wear to describe themselves as stylish.
" Glad you're impressed." Envy stood lazily against the wall, his eyes closed, " It's all yours now."
" Seriously." Winry gawked, then sternly, "Envy I can't stay here and giving me this won't change my mind."
" I'm tired of persuading you." Envy looked a bit sad, " But I can't force you Winry, I don't want to be inhuman as last time so you can stay as long as you want."
Winry softened, " But Envy, I can't claim someone else's closet or things as my own I mean that's as good as stealing."
" From who?" Envy told seriously, " They were Dante's and now she's gone; I'm like the only thing left of her legacy so I'm the heir and what I say goes..." he smiled sheepishly, " Ok, I'll leave and let your imagination run wild."
" Uh, Thanks Envy..." Winry looked flabbergasted, " Uh, I'm really hungry-"
" Great, I'll cook a big dinner..." he looked excited, " Come to the dining hall as soon as you're done..." then comically, " Don't make that an hour ok..." he indicated due to the masses of clothes; a labyrinth one could lose themselves in.
Winry smiled at him and nodded, her muscle tension had faded and she could walk around freely and as she did while surveying clothes that Envy had some form of innocence. He didn't seem naturally evil or disgusting or wretched and merciless. It was clear that his life, previous to his homunculus existence, had been, a joyless and difficult one.
I wonder how Dante was a mother, Winry thought dazed as she saw a pair of green pants, Possibly just as stone as she was while Ed and the others saw her...It must have been really hard for Envy, wait, Envy is homunculus name...What's his real name?
" What's your real name?" she asked as they dined. Steak, potatoes, soup, chicken, prawn, salads; Envy made a feast for a party rather than an ordinary evening.
" What?" Envy looked incredulously; he was eating his chicken just fine until she said that sentence.
" What's your human name, you're real name?" she asked softly.
" So Envy can't possibly be my human name because hey it's too absurd to be a real name." Envy bit annoyingly, aggressively into the chicken.
" Well, it's more of a title isn't it..." she said as a counter, " What was the name your parents –"
" Wilhelm." He banged his fork down on the table and made Winry startled, " My name is Wilhelm Elric, Elric is after all the true name of Hohenheim Of Light, Van Hohenheim Elric, which my mother changed to Hohenheim of Light, as a title: I think he never changed it because he partially himself contributed to the title." He calmed down.
" Don't get angry if I call you Wilhelm at times..." Winry looked at her plate, indifferent.
" Don't dare call me that!" Envy looked outraged, " It's a –"
" ...Human name." Winry completed, " A name noteworthy and I think it was more innocent than Envy; the selfish, lustful homunculus who cared only to destroy what he hated. Thus I think it suits your peaceful lifestyle now."
" Ok, but then you have to stay longer!" Envy pointed his fork at her to make the decision.
" I'll stay as long as I like Wilhelm..." Winry cut her food, " You can't order me about like this."
Envy looked shocked then quietly, " I'm only requesting."
Winry softened, "Ok, as long as you don't pull antiques like you did this morning..."
" You can't order me about either!" Envy protested, " I did say I won't hurt you but teasing you is a whole new country..."
She swallowed a piece of meat and commented, " You're vulgar."
" No, No I'm not!" Envy looked hurt.
" Yes, you are..." Winry now stared at him, " You're kinda sadomasochistic so don't try to deny that..."
Envy looked defeated, " Well the bottom line of my previous actions seem like that..."
" Seemslike that...?" Winry looked in a quiet disbelief as Envy paled.
" Ok, I am a bit rough, ok, not a bit I mean, I am a sick, violent bastard!" Envy flayed his hands in the air (which still carried his dinner utensils) and then looked defeated, " Me apologizing won't reverse the past of it."
" No," Winry looked confident, " But as long as you know how horrible it was it might make you change."
" Winry, does Ed love someone else?" Envy picked up a chicken slice and focused on it.
Winry stopped cutting,. " He's with Rose now, he loves her."
" Oh, I kinda knew that..." Envy now stared at Winry.
Winry smiled a bit sadly but more hopefully, " But...it's not the end of life is it...? I have to move on, besides I'm here with you. I think I can do anything now."
Envy looked exasperated, " Oh, so I am like this odd-ball obstacle and if you can tolerate me you can tolerate anything?"
Winry narrowed her eyes, " Can you phrase it in a better way...?"
Envy was dumbfounded and seeing the consequences he cough and stated, " Guess not..."
Winry laughed, " I hope Granny isn't worried though..."
" Wait, why?" Envy was suspicious.
Winry decided not to give it all away, she decided to cut it short, " She might think why it's taking me this long to come back."
Envy was unfortunately meticulous, " You really haven't told her much about where you were going did you?"
Winry got upset, she let out her own secret, " You're right."
" Gee, that Ed thing really hurt you..." Envy was grinning.
"Shut-up ok," Winry was cold, " You don't understand."
" Well, you're right," Envy stopped grinning seeing Winry's sadness, " I don't: I never loved anyone romantically, even when I was alive in the normal sense. As I said my world was complicated."
" Humph, Like my world wasn't...?" Winry looked irritated, " I waited, waited, waited, waited, for Edward and he decides to love someone else..." she seemed horribly upset, " I guess Edward never waited for me like that. I just did because they were my family as well," she looked at the purplish eyes of the homunculus, " I just thought Ed and I would get together." She ate two pieces quickly, " It was wrong of me to have these misguided expectations; I guess I didn't think ahead practically. Ed has changed and I know little about the older Ed, except the meaning of his quest, other factors about him is a blank."
" Then you know heaps about him..." Envy ate away, " It's just you couldn't connect with him right; it wasn't your destiny to – yes, Winry..." he looked at her odd face, " I do believe in purposely destiny despite my upbringing, I guess it's like a fragment of my conscience that survived." He picked up a slice and scanned it, " It's a little small piece but," he swallowed the slice, " It made me feel, surprisingly, good."
Winry smiled, " You're...you're...not so bad..." she found it hard to confess.
" Humph..." Envy stared with food in his mouth.
" You're kinda innocent..." Winry confessed in disbelief, " Whoever heard of an innocent murderer...?"
" Whoever heard of soulless body...?" the rhetorical question, Envy smiled, " The world is too big and too small for us to decide for it what's the canon for normal."
Winry ate away and then smiled, " The world struggles to be perfect and it's imperfection it found beauty."
Author's Note: Hope you guys liked it. I decided to use Hohenheim's manga name as his real name; the name Wilhelm was stated to be in Wikipedia Envy's true name, or a guess of it, the other guess was William but I like Wilhelm better. I learned Hohenheim's full manga name from Wikipedia as well for I haven't read the manga. My friends and family helped me in this and Thank God Almighty for all the ideas He gave me for this (seeing the fact this fic has been in hiatus for two years now) Sorry folks and I will UPDATE SOON.