Chapter 5- The Boat Ride
Willy: Ok, is everyone on the boat?
Grandpa: I'm not!
Willy: Well everyone important is on.
Mike: What's the purpose of this?
Willy: It's just transportation.
Veruca: Daddy! I want a boat!
Grandpa: Let's just leave the brat in the river.
Willy: Off we go! (Boat takes off)
(Everyone starts screaming)
Willy: …………It's a boat guys. Not a roller coaster.
(Everyone becomes quiet)
Willy: So…….
Grandpa: I need something to drink. (pulls out a cup and dips it into the river)
Everyone: NO!
Grandpa: (drinks cup) Ahhhhhh…... Refreshing.
(Everyone looks sick)
Willy: …….So. We have about 2 minutes before the ride gets really exciting. Anyone want to share a story?
Mike: Ooh! I got one! Ok, so I was hiking in a forest and met a leprechaun. His name was Oswald Chesterfield Guadalupe Duncan. He taught me how to fight like a ninja. He then introduced me to his friend Gary Chessmen Thomas Dent. Gary taught me how to fight like a cowboy. With both of their skills combined I learned to fight almost as good as Chuck Norris. But not AS good as Chuck Norris because no one is as good as Chuck Norris.
Willy: Well, that was pretty much a waste of time.
Mike: I wasn't done. Then Oswald-
Willy: No one cares. I think we have time for one more story.
Grandpa: I got one.
Willy: Please no.
Grandpa: Alright, one time a long time ago, I was hanging with some of my friends and one of them told me a joke and I had it memorized for awhile, but then I forgot it.
Willy: And?
Grandpa: That was my story.
Willy: Wow.
Mike: I think my day is ruined.
Veruca: I wish I had short term memory loss!
Grandpa: That could be easily arranged.
Willy: Here comes the scary part!
(The boat goes up and up)
Willy: (starts screaming a high pitched scream)
(Everyone joins in the screaming)
Willy: No I want you all to imagine! Chickens! Getting their heads cut off!! Boats crashing! People dieing! Michael Jackson! Poisoned chocolate! Endangered animals! Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirrels! The Apocalypse! (Starts screaming again)
(Everything goes dark)
Grandpa: Holy hellfire! I think I need a change of pants!
Charlie: Grandpa!
Grandpa: Charlie!
Willy: Willy Wonka!
(Everyone stares at Willy)
Willy: Awkward……. Well um anyway, we are here, so everyone off the boat! Off to the next room!
Charlie: Grandpa, I want to go home….
Grandpa: Charlie, don't be such a baby.