A/N: Well, I got this chapter up faster than Kiisa got hers to me, so maybe you guys won't kill me. Yeah, I was really bored and at a loss for how to work with the chaos, so I rewrote the first two fits of "The Hunting of the Snark" for this chapter.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, it belongs to Sqare. Or The Hunting of the Snark. That belongs to Lewis Carroll. I'll I own is Amaya, 'cause that's me. Kiisa and all the other OC's own themselves, and they know who they are.
Warnings: AU, yaoi (shounen-ai really), and fangirl OCs
Pairings: Zemyx, AkuRoku, SephirothCloud, Marlene, Soriku, XemSaïx, and whatever else happens to occur.
And since there's a manageable amount of reviews, though I'd prefer it to be unmanageable, I'll respond here!
Sulhadahne: Honestly, I had no idea what possessed Kiisa to put in the ducks, so I just ran with it. And I really am afraid of ducks. The farm thing actually happened to me.
Amarissia: I'm glad you liked it, though Kiisa's the one who wrote it and she has yet to even look at the reviews...(glares at Kiisa) Zacky likes the uniforms? Yay! (hugs your Zacky) And I'm glad Sephy approves of my pyro skillz. Maybe we can go set Heidegger's office on fire together sometime!
Review Whore: Heh, you show up in this chapter! And I'm glad you finally started reading it. If you hadn't...well, I know where you live. (grins evilly)
Thanks for reviewing, guys!
xxxxxThe Hunting of the Bishiexxxxx
"This is so going in the Book of Zemyx!" Amaya squealed as soon as her mind got over the pure chaos. She whipped out her cell phone and took a picture before either Zexion or Demyx could register what she said. Kiisa looked up from the floor, tears sparkling in her eyes.
"No wonder Amarissia said that we'd know who the real Organization members are," Kiisa giggled.
"Speaking of Amarissia, where is she?" Amaya wondered aloud.
"She left. Which is what you should be doing, fangirls." Larxene hissed. "That is, unless you want me to set the ducks on you." At this, all the ducks in the room gave a single menacing quack and turned their beady eyes towards the girls. Amaya gulped, ducks were evil, no question about it. Once, when she was six, she had been at a farm with ducks and they had all attacked her. Not any of the other kids, just her. Amaya grew paler as she recalled that incident and turned to her best friend.
"Let's go Kiisa."
"But I like duckies!" Kiisa whined.
"Your funeral," Amaya shuddered and walked back out into the hallway where Amarissia was standing.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
A few hours later, Amarissia and Amaya had been chatting and drinking tea in the waitress' lounge while discussing the AngealZack pairing of Final Fantasy VII when an older waitress pranced in.
"Alright girls, time to earn your pay! You get to go bring in our bishies today!" she pronounced, pointing at both girls sitting at the table. "But wait, we're missing one! She can't be left out of the fun!"
"I sent one of the other girls to retrieve her mangled corpse after Larxene and the ducks get through with it," Amaya stated primly. There was no way she was going back there today, even if Kiisa was in danger. She had tried to stop her. "And what's with the rhyming?"
"Rhyming? Is it true? Is my speaking annoying you?" the girl laughed.
"Mildly," Amaya conceded.
"AMAYA! WE'RE BAAAACK!" Kiisa yelled as she launched herself at her best friend who had attempted to abandon her to a horrible fate. Yet, despite said horrible fate, she hadn't a scratch on her.
"Oh good, you're finally here. Now let's go get our bishies, dear!" the Fangirl (as Amaya had dubbed her for lack of a name) grinned.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fit the First:
The Landing
.
"Just the place for a bishie!" the Fangirl cried,
As she landed her crew with care;
Supporting each person on top of the tide
By a finger entwined in her hair.
.
"Just the place for a bishie! I have said it twice:
That alone should encourage the crew.
Just the place for a bishie! I have said it thrice:
What I tell you three times is true."
.
The crew was complete: it included a Kiisa –
A writer and maker of art –
An Amarissia, brought to encourage the yaoi –
And a computer to document their part.
.
There was also an Amaya, that paced on the deck,
Or would sit making stories in the bow:
And had often (the Fangirl said) saved them from wreck
Though none of the others knew how.
.
There was one who was famed for the number of things
She forgot when she entered the ship:
Her net, her watch, all her candy and bribes
For the bishies they'd bring on the return trip.
.
The loss of her net hardly mattered, because
She had one on her head when she came,
With three packs of pocky – but the worst of it was
She had wholly forgotten her name!
.
She would answer to "Hi!" or to any loud cry,
Such as "You!" or "Girl over there!"
To "Waitress!" or "What-was-her-name!"
But especially "Sword-and-brown-hair!"
.
While for those who preferred a more forcible word,
She had different names from these:
Her intimate friends called her "Review Whore",
And her enemies "Smelly-cheese".
.
"Her looks are average – her intellect fine –"
(So the Fangirl would often say) –
"But her courage and stealth are perfect! And those, after all,
Are the things one needs with bishies these days!
.
Fit the Second:
The Fangirl's Speech
.
The Fangirl herself they praised to the skies –
Such a carriage, such ease and such grace!
Such solemnity too! One could see she was wise,
The moment one looked in her face!
.
She had brought a large map representing the park
Without anything on it to see.
A thing, as the Fangirl was heard to remark,
Was, "Puzzling even for me."
.
But the danger was past – they had landed at last,
Their gummi ship waiting in port,
Yet at first sight they were not pleased with the view
It was not Hollow Bastion, but a wood of some sort.
.
"Back to the ship!" The Fangirl cried
Horror and disgust in her look,
It was the kiddie island,
Specifically: Pooh Bear's book.
.
The crew screamed, running away,
They had realized their error.
Freaking out, afraid their eyes would decay
They fled from the island in terror.
.
Eventually they reached the island they wanted:
Hollow Bastion (Radiant Garden and Villain's Vale).
The girls sighed in relief and rested a bit
Before they set out on the bishies' trail.
.
The Fangirl perceived that their spirits were low,
And repeated in a musical tone
Some jokes she had kept for a season of woe –
But the crew would do nothing but groan.
.
She served out some tea with a liberal hand,
And bade them sit down on the dock:
And they could not but own that their captain looked grand
As she stood and started to talk.
.
"We have sailed many hours, we have sailed many minutes,
(60 minutes to the hour I allow),
But a bishie on which we may lovingly gaze,
We have not beheld until now!
.
"Come listen my friends, while I tell you again
The five unmistakable marks
By which you may know, wheresoever you go,
Bishies from cosplaying larks.
.
"Let us take them in order. The first is the taste,
Which is the salty-sweet of seasalt ice-cream:
But if you kiss them they'll run away with all haste
They don't like us so they'll scream.
.
"The cosplayers' habits of getting up late, you'll agree
That it carries them too far, when I say
That they frequently breakfast at five-o'clock tea,
And dine on the following day.
.
"The third are their actions, exactly correct
Nothing they say is OOC:
The cosplayers always try so hard
But none are as good as our bishies can be!
.
"The fourth is their fondness for weapons,
Which they constantly carry about,
And believe that they add to the beauty of scenes –
A sentiment open to doubt.
.
"The fifth is the cosplayers' ambition. To describe every one,
Trying to get them grouped right:
Distinguishing those that are angsty and dark,
From those that are peppy and light.
.
"For although most bishies unconsciously yaoi,
I feel it my duty to say
Some are obviously straight –" the Fangirl broke off in alarm
For Amarissia had fainted away.
Ok, I got two reviews this time, guys. (because Review Whore's doesn't count as I made her leave one) I'm happy I got reviews, but I'd like more. Five reviews for the next chapter, or no next chapter because I have found that I can hold Kiisa's chapters hostage as well as my own. Now then, clicky the buton.
(And Kiisa, darling, why didn't you leave a review? -sniffles- I know it was your chapter, and that the review doesn't count if I'm holding a chapter hostage, but I do like to know that you've at least seen the chapter.)