A/N: Well, sorry for my long update, I was distracted by FFVII. You know, we need a specific place to apologize to you loyal readers for putting up with us. That, and offer our specific excuses for the chapter. Anyway, Kiisa's back from camp and I'm not stuck playing babysitter as a camp councilor anymore so I figured, what the heck, I might as well write the next chapter. It's been planned out in advance already. And then I got sucked onto a crazy trip to visit the relatives that ended up with me having to face a demon cow that got into my grandparents' back yard and well, the rest is history.
Excuses: See, I said we needed a place to put these. In case you didn't get the memo, I'm currently resisting the siren call of FFVII after a few weeks of horror so be thankful.
Key of Ra: Hey, it's me! Yesh, two flowers, Kiisa. Sheesh, get it right. (And he kissed one of them. -fangirl squeal- )
Amarissia: I still blame myself for turning you to the KH fandom. -. You have no idea how happy I am to hear that you think we're doing a good job with your character. -hugs-
TearWorkshop: We get all the internets? -faints- Wow! Thank you so much! And muffins too? I love you! -hugglomptackle-
Sulhadanhe: Maybe on the romance…you think it's a good idea? And we're honored you let us feature you and Axelerate! in our story. It's one of our favorite fics. -hugs- I'm really glad you like the way we write, and believe me, Kiisa and I will be doing a lot more with the fourth wall.
6-The-Cloaked-Nocturne-9: Zemyx is the key word, my friend. And I adore Symphony. It's honestly the first story in Kiisa's and my 'Holy Book of Zemyx.' Kiisa and I have always wanted to work in a Bath and Body Works after we read that fic.
brickwallXdemyxXjordanX: Ok, first thing's first, we're flattered that you like our work, but we really don't like it when people tell us to update. It makes us want to put off updating. So we do. So just for future reference, please don't do that again. Especially when it hasn't been at least a week since we last updated. Kiisa takes two to four weeks for me to get her writing (on average) and I take anywhere from a week to three weeks on this fic, normally. (I made an exception in my work ethic this time.) So don't expect quick updates. We're lazy people and it's summer vacation.
Lifes.Lover: Um, yeah, just ignore my threats, please. That's mainly for the lurkers. Yes, yay for multiple yaoi pairings, and we're actually acting on one of those pairings for this chapter. Yeah, good fluffy Zemyx is extremely difficult to come by. Emoness and angst does get old after a while. We're glad you liked it, now to rectify that fourth wall problem...
Disclaimer: I'm like Xemnas, I rip off other people's stuff and use it for myself. And yes, those are /so/ lightsabers, I don't care what you say, Mansex.
Cursing her attention having been on the capture of Cloud and patching up the broken fourth wall, Amaya quickly rectified the situation and stared at the sky. Now that she noticed the angel, she listened intently and made out the strains of his theme music echoing behind the scream of the mayhem group and those they were harassing. Now, one might believe that all hell had broken loose when Review was unleashed upon the poor defenseless NPCs, that was not so. However, Amaya did not think of the consequences to letting Sephiroth land unhindered in their midst and instead wondered as to how he was flying.
"Hey, Kiisa, how is he flying?"
"Disney Magic," was the calm reply.
"Ah, ok. His theme changed again." Amaya mused, listening to the words and trying to make them out amidst the screaming.
"Really?" Kiisa sounded mildly interested this time.
"Yeah, they're calling him an 'angel of death' this time." Amaya grinned. She loved her Latin dictionary.
"Cool. Hey, is it just me, or are the tourists running back towards Review as if there's some big, scary, possessive seme running at them and they'd rather face her than him?" Kiisa suddenly questioned.
"Yeah, but the big, scary, possessive seme is above them…. Oh, wait, what about Leon and Zack?" Amaya suddenly grasped the situation. "Ummm… Kiisa, we have a problem. What are we supposed to do in the event that all of the semes converge on the target in an attempt to rescue him from our clutches and gain his affection?"
Kiisa thought for a moment. "I don't know? Call for back up?"
"We are the back up."
"Tell the others to retreat and get the hell out of here?"
"That sounds good." Amaya quickly waded into the mess of people and towards the girls who were working to catch Cloud. "Hey, Suhadanhe, SEMES at 12 o'clock! We've got to get out of here!" At the word 'semes' all the fangirls paused in everything they were doing, although the crowd was still freaking out.
"Which ones?" Someone called over the yelling.
"Sephiroth, Leon, and Zack!"
"Oh shit." With that, the mayhem crew looked towards the sky and noticed the swiftly descending form of Sephiroth then quickly turned their attention to the crowd running back towards them and away from Zack and Leon. "We can hold them for two minutes at most!"
"Got him!" Sulhadanhe cried in triumph as Cloud was knocked over the head with his own sword. Quickly, she and two other girls tied him in the net they had brought and proceeded to lift the unconscious young man above their heads so that they could run back to the gummi ship. "Review, hold them as long as possible, Kiisa, help them. Amaya, you're with us, it's time to put your skill to the test and hold off Sephiroth long enough for us to dock in Wonderland!"
Amaya gulped and ran to catch up to the girls heading for the ships, leaving Kiisa to face her immediate doom alone once again. "Ok, Aya. How do you stop THE General? If I could use magic that would be wonderful, but I can't. I have no weapons at all. Great." Amaya mentally ranted as she ran. "Let's be rational here for a minute, what weaknesses does he have?" Amaya grimaced as she dutifully answered it. "None. His HP is virtually infinite for a level 5 character like me, especially when weaponless. I can do almost nothing in the physical sense. No magic takes away that avenue… I knew I should have learned magic. Note to self: Survive this and learn spells. And get a weapon. Weapons would be nice."
Hopping onto the ship after the other three girls, Amaya watched the sky as Sephiroth drew steadily nearer to the speeding ship. Drawing a deep breath she gave a huge smile and waved to her crazy bishie. "Sephiroth, I love you!" His flight faltered slightly as he tried to ignore the fact that one of the waitresses was a fangirl. Amaya grinned. Ah, that was what she was supposed to do. "Sephy-sama, your hair is so pretty! Like silk! And you have smexy theme music! Hey, is that materia in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"
Sephiroth dropped into the water, making a rather nice splash. Amaya giggled nervously, hopefully he was knocked out cold and when he woke up he wouldn't remember that it had been her shouting that. And if he did, she'd say that she had been told to yell that at the top of her lungs so that any passersby could hear her hitting on the angel and deter him from following them. Yep. Right. And no, she hadn't watched "Aeris' guide to scoring cute Final Fantasy Guys" on youtube. Nope. Not at all.
"I hate that lying bitch!" Amaya cried, collapsing on the deck of the gummi ship.
"Who?" One of the girls who wasn't Sulhadanhe asked.
"Aeris," Amaya sniffled.
"Oh, yeah. The guide doesn't work. But it managed to get Sephiroth off our tail." The girl offered and came over to hug Amaya as she wept. "Besides, all of us here have tried that at one point or another with one of our bishies. You're no different."
"Really?" Amaya looked up hopefully.
"Yeah, but I think you were the first one to try it on Sephiroth. At least, that's how it looked from his reaction."
"Great. Now he'll remember me as the girl with the really bad come-on."
"Actually, he's not likely to remember you at all if it makes you feel better."
"Strangely, it does."
The rest of the trip passed without incident because Cloud remained unconscious the entire time. So the girls tossed him inside the guest room (read: holding cell) once they got back to the tea house and sat around congratulating everyone for a job well done. Well, everyone except Amaya, as she had volunteered to watch Cloud so that he wouldn't run off or get stolen by a seme or something. Unfortunately he wasn't very good conversation material as he was still out cold, so she went back to patching the ruin of the fourth wall.
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"A very merry unbirthday to you!" Amaya grinned, looking down at Cloud who had just woken up on the floor. As the young man silently glared at her she simply reached down and ruffled his hair. "You're adorable, you know that? And you have great semes who tried to rescue you. You're lucky."
"Lucky?" Cloud growled. "I'm straight. And I don't appreciate you yaoi crazed fangirls kidnapping me and forcing me to take part in these stupid tea parties."
"You'll thank us for it later when you finally choose one of those nice boys," Amaya grinned. "So, do you say Aeris or Aerith?"
"Why are you here and what does that have to do with anything?" Cloud demanded.
"I volunteered for guard duty. Now answer the question."
"Aerith." He grudgingly admitted. "I have to call her that. I call her Aeris if I can get away with it, though."
"I call her Aeris," Amaya shrugged. "I learned it that way and anyone who says Aerith sounds like they have a lisp."
"You're right." He smirked. "What's your name?"
"Amaya," she answered, grinning. "So if you had to choose a seme who'd it be?"
"I don't know…" he mused.
"Really? Hey, I know a way to peg your seme!" Amaya suddenly exclaimed. Pulling her cellphone out and accessing the internet, she pulled up the Seme/Uke quiz and handed it to Cloud. "Here, fill it out!"
Five minutes later Cloud got the "innocent uke" result and Amaya proceeded to gush about having the same result and hugging the poor young man to death. So when her fun was ruined by the door slamming open and an irate, dripping, Sephiroth strode in she was understandably annoyed. Then she had a brilliant idea.
"Take the test!" Amaya grinned, shoving her cell phone into the bishie's face. He blinked and then looked down at the site and back up at her, raising a silver eyebrow in a silent question.
"Get the right result and I might let Cloud leave with you." She teased, wondering what his result might be in the end. Needless to say, Sephiroth snatched the phone and proceeded to answer the questions. He only took two minutes. And Amaya grinned at the result presented to her. He was a "Romantic Seme," perfect.
"Hey, Cloudy, that took less time that you'd think!" Amaya grinned. "You're compatible." Then the thought struck her. If Cloud was compatible then she was compatible. Damn life for giving her Sephiroth and then having a Cloud that goes with him. Damn it all.
"Hey, Aya! You okay back there? I thought I saw Sephiroth!" someone called.
"Yeah, the angel's back here," Amaya called. "Hey, when's the big party?"
"We've got a few more minutes until we need Cloud, why?"
"Nothing!" Amaya quickly called back. "Seph, I've got a deal. I'll let you take Cloud if you stay willingly for the teaparty. Otherwise, I'll give him to Leon."
"I thought you said that if I took the test-"
"I said I might let Cloud leave with you, not that I'd let you have him right now," Amaya laughed. "So, will you stay?"
Sephiroth glared at her and she gulped, suddenly fearing for her life. "Fine, but no more tricks."
Amaya sighed in relief.
"And just for the record, what did you say back on that boat? I couldn't have heard that right."
"Eh heh heh heh… Um, about that…"
ANNOUNCEMENT: Ok, I realize I've managed to piss some of you off by demanding reviews on Kingdom Fangirls. Kiisa's knocked some sense into me and I've stopped. There is reasoning behind it, however. I'm really insecure about my writing and if I see a lot of views but not a lot of reviews I get really worried. That's why I always wanted a minimum of 5 reviews. I wanted to know people actually liked it and wanted me to keep the story going. What I mean to say is, I'm sorry. I'm not holding chapters hostage any more. But, I WILL come after you with a rusty spork if you don't, OK? I have anon. reviews on, so you can just drop me a line even if you have no account of your own. I like constructive criticism much more than I like "Hey, good job." so don't feel obligated to say that at all. I make mistakes, I'm very much human, and if you catch errors I'd like them pointed out to me. So, yeah, sorry guys and thanks for putting up with me.