Before we begin Kiisa's rant Amaya has something to say...
HAPPY ZEMYX DAY! I managed to get this out of her just in time, so bask in the glory that is Zemyx. Yes, the pairing shows up. And very obviously. Oh, and there's more SephxCloud action, but that is neither here nor there.
TO Our BEAUTIFUL REVIEWERS-
TO OUR BEAUTIFUL REVIEWERS-
Amarissia- Yes, the sentence about the dangers of Hetphobia is one of the favorites I've ever written. It must be strange watching someone crack up at their own writing. I love Zack... strangely, I've always seen him as more Seme-type. Except, of course, to Sephiroth. Maybe it's because Cloud is super uke.
Tear Workshop- All the Internets? The world is ours. I must make contact with the mothership; we never predicted the takeover would come so easily.
...Contact with mothership comes right after muffin. XD Your reviews make me so happy, I just brighten up seeing them. I like being funny as Hell and rocking socks. Much more than I like washing socks, because I'm on laundry duty... Gives you more wonderful smiley faces 8D have a day as happy as you make mine... :)
Sulhadahne- Ohmygod, I'm absolutely ecstatic. Author I love loves us back? I die in peace. I'm proud to say the fourth wall thing was all my idea... I've never had much of a use for it anyway, even if Amaya likes it. I'm so happy you like my (our?) writing style, it's nice to know Amaya + I blend enough.
6-The-Cloacked-Nocture-9- Your profile entertained me forever. It's very true, and kind of hypnotic... anyway, glad to meet another in the Zemyx cult! I'm sorry we've had a lack of it until now but god help me this chapter will be Zemyx or my name is not KIISA TOYA or Freaky Blonde hair or Rachel or whatever it really is... It's RIDICULOUS how many times I've read Symphony, and last I checked Amaya is drawing a doujinshi for it.
The Avenging Sorceress- I've often wondered what would happen if Fanfiction writers had confidence. The fan world might just fall in on its self. Don't say you suck, and even if the flames say so... well what kind of sad person sits around writing hate reviews to thirteen year olds with more imagination and bravery than their anonymous lazy ugly butts will ever have? If you want my best suggestion on improvement, the first thing you must do is take time to read over what you've written and check for simple things like spelling errors.
I'm glad that our story makes you happy. We aim to please.
Lifes.Lover- Symphony has spread it's influence far and wide I see. Good, it deserves it. And though I love angst emo cutting stories to pieces, I agree they soon get tiring. And repetitive, have you noticed that? I'm happy I made someone's day better by making them laugh. That's about as good as life gets for me.
She-who-drinks-acid: gasp REPRESSSION? NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Must... write!
AS A NOTE TO ALL: On my own fanfiction page, FreakyBlondHair, I have started writing stuff. It's more ZEMYX for the converted, so go check it out!
Also, things will be... strange in November. Both Amaya and I are sworn to do NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), which is an online challenge to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November. My novel will actually be ANOTHER KH fic, horror-type and halfway an AU... it is its own beast, really. This could mean no update in November or I get crazy fired up and write a shit load. I'm not sure which yet.
Warning or perhaps reason for celebration: THIS CHAPTER ISH SO GAY.
Without further ado, I write!
"Hey, Kiisa, another pot of Vodkoffe for table lavender!"
"Another!? I mean, uh, I'll get it!"
There were a lot of details about this job that no one had really warned me about, mused Kiisa as she ran behind the counter to the workroom dodging running fangirls and a couple of moogles for the freshly brewed pot of caffeine-beans-and-warm-Canadian-alcohol sludge. First, no one said she'd be threatened by flying bishounen with swords taller than themselves. Second, she wasn't aware that someone without a driver's license, permit, or even training was allowed to race a motorbike here. Third, she didn't know a Disney based park could serve that much alcohol and dammit, no one told her until she was serving that the tables were coded by color, not number!
Before she took the strange vodka and coffee combination to the table, she briefly wondered what it tasted like. After she tried, she remembered that she liked neither hard liquor nor black coffee, and quickly ran to her over-sugared mint herbal tea.
"Oi, Kiisa!"
"Eh! Coming!"
As she darted over to the lavender table, she glanced at the emerald table in the far corner, like she had been doing for the past half hour. Over there were two other bishounen who had attended- two of the very few who didn't have to be kidnapped. Well, one came of his own free will, since he actually liked the fangirls, and the other didn't want to risk what horrors would happen to his boyfriend if he didn't follow.
Demyx grinned and leaned in to the stoic man. "Oh come on Zexy, they aren't that bad. Even the ones who want to jump you are acting nice!"
"Don't call me Zexy in public," said the other in a tone that meant he had said this many times before, "and a fangirl is never just nice. She always wants something."
Demyx grinned even wider, leaning into Zexion whilst sticking a bite of strawberry cake on a fork into his mouth so he couldn't talk back. "Then we'll give them what they want. Fluff." So saying, he delicately planted a small kiss on Zexion's cheek, creating a tiny flower of a blush on the other man's face, who tried to shake it off and glare at him. Squeals of joy and thuds as fangirls fainted quickly rose in the background, and a few Xigbar/Demyx fans sulked in a corner, plotting.
Kiisa happily pranced off to the lavender table to deliver the strong brew before it's wafting smell caused her to fall asleep. She always found it strange how the scent of coffee beans made her tired, and the soporific buzz in the vodka didn't help the effect any.
She plunked the kettle down before the caffeine-loving drinkers and politely asked if that was all they'd be needing. After getting a confirmation, she decided to check on how the kidnapped Final Fantasy bishounen were doing. She soon realized she couldn't tell by the absolute mass of besotted fangirls surrounding them.
She rolled her eyes and returned to her tea before she could be ordered to do something else. Crowds were a natural repellent for her; she would let them have their fun.
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"Oh for the love of the Cetra I don't care if it makes some AMAZING innuendo that you find funny every time it's not physically possible."
"But his sword-"
"HOLY AND METEOR I HEAR ONE MORE PERVERTED JOKE ABOUT SEPHIROTH'S SWORD HEADS WILL ROLL."
"That grammar was so improper..." muttered Amaya, watching the facedown with great interest. It was greatly aggravated Cloud verses hormonal fangirls, with Sephiroth putting unwanted protection on Cloud's side. The numbers were slightly off, as it was about thirty four to one, or two if you consider Sephiroth as helping Cloud, but up against Cloud's legendary stubbornness their carefully placed hints, innuendos, pressure, and begging had no effect. No contest, Amaya decided, from the beginning there was nothing to be won against Cloud. But it was fun to watch anyway, especially whenever Sephiroth tired to help Cloud and Cloud gave him the absolute coldest shoulder and iciest put-downs she had ever seen outside of junior high catfights.
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaase, Cloudy? Just one itsy little kissy, please please please fishy?" begged one particularly annoying fangirl. Annoying or not, however, her Pout and Puppy Dog Eyes attacks were defiantly a force to be reckoned with. She could face off Zack or Demyx with those. But even that bounced off Cloud's Refusal reflector shield and Sephiroth began to feel that their was no hope for this to end nicely for him. You really have to wonder which side of the argument the man was on anyway. Amaya then got a brilliant idea. Well, brilliant by the standards of fangirl plans, which always involve phony tripping, spilling something, faking innocence, or using official tools of a job, often one they don't have, for their own needs. This involved all of them.
She rushed into the laboratory-kitchen and came out with a giant luke-warm pot of chocolate coffee. She half-ran over in her clicking heels to the table that Cloud and Sephiroth were being mobbed at and upon reaching it, happily cried 'Here's your coffee, sirs!' and had a priceless glance at their shocked and confused expressions right as she 'tripped' and the delicious caffeine drink went flying. The kettle soared over Cloud and hit Demyx, about fifteen feet behind him, right in the middle of his forehead, who fell backwards off his chair with what sounded like an incredible rendition of a chocobo's mating call. Luckily, by the time the pot gave Demyx brain damage it was empty, because the entirety of the contents had managed to land on Cloud's head during the aerial attack through the forces of Gravity and Comedy. And so sat the hero bishounen, completely drenched with a blank expression and his hair plastered down on his face, as Amaya cheered silently (and slightly painfully) on the floor and a shocked hush fell across the group. Well, a shocked hush aside from Demyx's squawking, Zexion's exasperated sighing, and Kiisa's uncontrolled laughter. If you want to know how much trouble you can get in from laughing at the wrong time in school of other public places, just ask Kiisa.
And Sephiroth seized his chance.
"Cloud." He tuned the shocked Blonde around in his chair to look at him. "Are you all right? It wasn't too hot, was it?" during this carefully placed question, he ran his hand across Cloud's face to check the warmth and slowly pulled his dripping chocolate-flavored hair from his eyes so that he could look into them. Eliciting no response yet, he stared directly at Cloud as he stared back and asked once again, quietly, "Are you alright?" And fangirls fainted.
Amaya stood up and looked at the carnage. Customers were confused or giggling, Kiisa was helping Zexion take care of the randomly spasming Demyx as well as she could while still shaking with muffled laughter, and over thirty fangirls were fallen on the ground in dead faint as Cloud stated blushing and placing totally unnecessary apologies for Sephiroth's hand on his face, and Demyx's forehead had just stopped the coffeepot from crashing through the currently fragile fourth wall. This, thought Amaya, I deserve a raise for.
She then wondered if she even got paid. Then she deserved to get paid for this.
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Kiisa set the boy down on the soft, cold dirt outside of the teahouse and away from potential crazy queens. Still chuckling slightly, she turned to Zexion with "Are you sure he'll be okay?"
Zexion rolled his eyes slightly. "Yes Kiisa, for approximately the fifteenth I tell you Demyx will be fine."
Kiisa grinned. "Making sure. I mean, it's usually worrisome when one's forehead is dark blue and they're spouting off quotes from the Wizard of Oz."
Zexion glared at her slightly. "He's overeating to make us worry. I'm sure his head is fine, well, no worse than usual, and the bruise will fix itself with time. Before then, he can just use more make-up."
"More?" asked Kiisa incredulously.
"H- Hey!" cried Demyx, standing up. "I am so not overeating, this hurts! And I only use some concealer and eyeliner so stop making me sound ridiculously gay or something!"
In unison, fangirl and boyfriend replied "You are ridiculously gay."
Demyx stared at them in despair, than cried dramatically and plopped back down on the dirt, hiding his head in his hands as he stage-wailed. Zexion was used to Demyx's antics, and Kiisa was used to actors. So they just stared until he sighed, stopped, and said "Okay, 'm better. But yeah, I seriously need some more concealer now." He brightened. "Okay, hey, let's go to the Organization lounge in the World the Never Was but Is Now so I can fix this!"
Kiisa gasped in joy. "Me too?" she asked, her eyes staring to sparkle frighteningly.
Though Zexion started to protest, Demyx said "Yeah, you can come too! Things are a bit messy because we're organizing to start up Axelerate, but it's not too bad."
"Not too bad?" muttered Zexion. "Holes in the wall, halfway from painting the walls from neon green to bright pink when Marluxia and Larxene had a paint fight with black paint, underwear stuck to the ceiling and we discovered someone's collection of dead centipedes that blew up upon discovery and Larxene's ducks are practically running rampant, and it's not too bad?"
Kiisa smiled at Zexion. "Sounds lovely." Thus, Demyx started walking and Kiisa ran up next to him to chat and make sure that he was okay (AGAIN, Kiisa's such a mother) and Zexion followed right after them disapproving all the way.
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Slowly, fangirls began to awaken in the Teahouse, scrambling to first-aid kits for fanfiction to revive their strength, some simply pulled phoenix downs from backpacks or purses. Cloud and Sephiroth had long since left, with rushed excuses about cleaning up. Mmmmmmm-hm, whatever you say.
Amaya was happily taking orders, waiting tables and singing, in joyful fangirlish haze. After explaining what had happened to two fangirl friends of hers, Amarissia and Erava, she suddenly gained the rank of 'Fangirl General' for being the one to start a yaoi couple, a box of super secret general supplies she would open later, a button to put on a purse strap or something that said 'Super awesome fangirl general' and copious amounts of praise for the show she created that was filmed by no less than a dozen camera phones and was already on Livejournal.
And so, with no more Bishounen and the fact that it was really late at night, the Fangirls who didn't work Vampire Shift (so it was named) were let to go and the Tea Party itself was declared over. After a round of 'Hail General Amaya of SephirothxCloud!" she left the tea house and stepped outside into the cooling night, saying, 'Wow Kiisa, wasn't that awesome?"
Silence.
She stood there in shock for a second. Kiisa, who had a habit of following those little wispy plant thing things in the air for miles, into traffic, through yards, until she was thoroughly lost, and hungry enough to start gnawing on the arms of complete strangers, was nowhere to be seen.
"Oh my god, oh my god, what do I do?" Amaya panicked, worried about her oblivious friend she had almost taken responsibility for.
"Okay, think Amaya, think... when in doubt, video game logic! Never failed before... I have been given a quest, find Kiisa. I am at level zero and too incompetent to accept this quest, unless I was handed a mysterious item recently... A HA! The Box!"
So saying, she immediately set upon the box she had been given in reward for becoming a General. Opening the box, she found a Mama Mia soundtrack, a Suna Gakure headband, a five pound box of Pixy Stix, a flashlight, a gaydar that looked like it had been put together with cardboard and duct tape, some rope, a pimp hat, a set of panpipes, and in the bottom of the box, hidden by the other junk, a Wand and an obligatory Trigun reference gathering dust in the corner. The wand had a plastic-looking black handle with a light blue gem shaped like a heart fastened fancily on top with light grey wings floating out next to the heart gem. It was pretty much a typical magic girl wand, aside from the color scheme.
Amaya's eyes widened as she pulled out the wand. Suddenly, the gem glowed with a bright blue light, and to her surprise, words floated in front of her.
WEAPON GAINED
LEVEL UP TO LEVEL FIVE!!
QUEST: RESCUE KIISA BEGUN
START TRANFORMATION SEQUENCE Y/N?
With a look of confusion, she tried poking the air where the 'Y' was. She felt something click under her finger, like there really was a key, and the words vanished. The gem on the wand burst with light and she felt herself being lifted into the air. Music started up in the background, as it had a habit of doing in the park. She closed her eyes and felt herself twirling around, the light starting to emanate from her. After a lot of spinning and almost feeling dizzy, she suddenly stopped, and with a sudden FWOOSH! She was clothed (since when was she naked??) in a incredibly ruffley black dress with charcoal grey underskirts and random bright blue highlights in the ribbons lacing up the front everywhere, with puffy grey inch straps and a pouffy skirt that only went past her thigh. Black gloves up to her elbows and cutting off just before her fingers appeared with light blue laces all the way down them and she touched ground just as she gained knee-high boots of the same type. As she grabbed the wand that was floating in the air, a bracelet with a blue gem encircled her right wrist and a sliver tiara appeared in a flash of brightness on her forehead a she truck a pose. In a final flash of blue brightness, puffy white wings appeared on her back, with a couple of feathers floating off.
As the music ended, she cried, "Alright! I am General Hitokiri Amaya-hime, and I stand for love, peace, yaoi and doughnuts!"
(Kiisa's note: Amaya says I watch too much Sailor Moon. I destroy the Fourth wall so I can run in and say BALDERDASH.)
With a 'that's right!' Something FURRY with GIANT BLUE EYES appeared next to her, smiling. Amaya screamed, brandished her wand and in a fit of inspiration shouted "HEARTLESS! DIE BY LIGHT!"
The furry thing got a chance to shout "No, WAIT!-" right before a bright blue beam of light shot from the overheating-from-transformation-stress wand and the thing dies with a loud screech, exploding into a million tiny blue sparkles that settled everywhere like glittery snow.
"Huh?" asked Amaya. "What happened?" She thought for a second, then gasped. "Oh no! I killed the cute little magic girl mascot... and it didn't give me any experience points! This is so cheap!"
She sighed and stood there for a second. A breeze went past, and she found herself hoping these magic girl outfits came with a winter clothing option.
"Huh... interesting." She sighed and put her hand around her mouth in a confused gesture. "Now... what was I doing again?"
A scream came from the direction of the City that Never Was. "OH FOR THE LOVE OF ZEMYX AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"
Amaya's head snapped up. "Oh right! Rescuing Kiisa!" And with that, she stuck the box full of Items in her inventory (nice skill to have, that one) and ran as fast as her high heeled boots could take her to the dark city of the Heartless.
A/N: Process of Kiisa and Amaya writing: Kiisa adds in all sorts of random gadgets and weird things and people and ideas and cliffhangers and crap, and Amaya tries in vain to explain things in the next chapter before Kiisa just destroys it by doing something Random again.
BTW, Erava, do you mind being in this story? We're thinking of giving you a bigger part but need your permission first, obviously. Luv joo!)