This one feels like it's dead to me. But I like it. I don't know.

Warnings: bad spelling, bad grammar, bad usage of "..." I'm sure.

Disclaimer: If I had the money, I wouldn't be in debt and drive a dinky '87 Toyota Corolla, now would I?

GRAVITATION

Wiping Streaks Away

GRAVITATION

Yo.

What's up? Ha, look at me, I'm asking a notebook how it's doing... all this medicine must be taking affect.

There's not much going around for me. I'm stuck in this bed until..., well I'm not sure how long. It depends on if Screwy -Thank you, Tohma for the inspiration of a well-earned name- decides to show bad or good signs. So far we've been in the green light, but something tells me that won't last for long.

Father keeps telling me I should let everyone know. I want to but I... I just can't. No, if I die I want them to live without the regret of knowing there was nothing they could do. It would hurt them more if they knew. I'm saving them from that pain. That's an emotion I don't think anyone deserves.

I wonder if this is how Mother felt before she told us. If she thought not telling anyone would save them. She must have; she was a caring woman from what I can remember. She was strong, too, very strong. I'm not sure if I'm as strong as her.

When Screwy decides to go bad... the pain... it's hard to put in words.

I woke up yesterday, Screwy left a surprise for me. My hair... it's not so glorious now. Haha, right. See? It's so funny. Father told me you can't tell any different. I didn't believe him so I went to the bathroom in this room. He lied. I have bald spots and it's not so long now... Picture one of those football players from America with their partly shaved heads. Add a few bald spots. Yep, that's me...

I think I want a wig... Is that what you call them? I'm not sure if that is only used for girls... Ah, well, it doesn't matter. I want one.

Hm?

Oh... I have to go.

Father's coming in with the doctor.

Wait... ah... Tohma's here too.

I must be so lucky to have him visiting.

Haha.

GRAVITATION

Tatsuha closed the notebook, set the pen in the spiral spine, and hid the book under his pillow. "So, what do I owe this visit?" he asked, slightly tilting his head in CEO's direction.

Tohma didn't say anything, he only nodded once.

He stared at the three of them and tried to understand what made them so... silent. Oh. Oh... "Oh."

His Father sat next to him on the bed. "Tatsuha, we have some news."

"Bad, right?" He knew his voice sounded clogged.

"I..." His Father paused, and Tatsuha decided the man looked like he was debating with himself. "... Yes."

Ah, so that was it. "Well, what is it?"

The Doctor coughed. "Honestly, we talked this over and have decided that you needed to know the truth, not any lies like we originally planned." He paused, trying to gauge the twenty-year-old's reaction. There was a slight tick in Tatsuha's right eyebrow, but the boy said nothing. "As you know, Tatsuha, Screwy..." They had decided to call the disease that for a more light atmosphere. "... has no cure. We can only wait to see what turn it will go in. However your tests from yesterday, we were able to determine that Screwy decided to explore."

Basically, Tatsuha's mind supplied, the only thing left to do is die.

"How long?"

"Tatsuha, we have to think pos..."

He cut his Father off, "No. We all knew this was the result. How long?" His gaze had locked onto the Doctor's own.

"Two months, at the least. Maybe a month. It's hard to tell."

"Tatsuha, maybe you should..."

"No!" Tatsuha wondered if this was his new past-time; interrupting his Father from speaking.

"Tatsuha..."

"For the last time..."

"Why?"

Tatsuha stared at his brother-in-law. Since entering the room, that question was the first thing Tohma had said. "Because."

Tohma didn't look amused, "I'm not playing this game, Tatsuha. Why not tell them?"

"So they don't..."

"Suffer? Grieve? You can't save them from that. When you die they will do all those things, so why not tell them? Give them time to prepare."

"What difference does it make?"

Tohma's eyes softened, "So they can say goodbye."

Tatsuha gulped and closed his eyes, trying to block out the stinging. "It doesn't matter."

"Tatsuha... you know that's a lie. What about Eiri and Mika?"

He noticed how his brother's name came first, "Eiri will continue writing and Mika will smoke herself away like normal."

"Bad Luck? Shuichi? Suguru? Maybe Hiro?"

"Shuichi... he'll sing about it. Ru? I don't know. Hiro? Ha, he'll be happy I'm not here anymore; less chance of Ru falling in love with me, right?"

"And..." Tohma stopped. He wasn't sure if he wanted to bring his name to this. But when his mind showed him the man he saw yesterday staring at a blank piece of paper, Tohma continued. "Ryuichi? What about him?" Tohma saw the shiver that ran down the boy's -he's not a boy, Tohma, he's a man- body.

"I... Like I said, it doesn't matter."

He's running, Tohma realized, And I've been helping him all along. Instead of telling him to let them know when we found out, I agreed with his plea to not say anything. And now look? He's...

"I know you know that's not true. If you don't do it for your friends or family, do it for your lover, Tatsuha." Tatsuha opened his mouth to argue, but Tohma held a hand up, "Yes, lover. I have long realized that the two of you belong. Since you left him, Ryuichi hasn't been able to be shiny."

Shiny? Ryu's lost his shine? "But."

"No more excuses, Tatsuha. It's time for the truth, not lies."

Tatsuha looked down at his lap, tracing the flower patterns on the sheet with his eyes. Maybe his Mother had been right when she said, 'When you're alone, everything feels like it's too much, but when you're with someone, you feel lighter. Like a weight was lifted off you shoulders.' It was his time. It was Tatsuha's time for the weight on his shoulders to be gone. "Okay." He raised his eyes to meet the three in the room, "Lets tell them."

GRAVITATION

When the people who mattered the most in Uesugi Tatsuha's life arrived home, the message waiting for them on their answering machine simply said, "It's time for me to tell you the truth, not anymore lies. I'm... you know... dying. Mother's disease... it was hereditary... and I'm the lucky winner. Tohma will tell you anything else you want to know. Right. So. Bye."

GRAVITATION

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