Hm, this chapter revolves around everyone's thoughts. I've tried to add some humor and wisdom in this, but I think I might of failed. Oh, well.

Warnings: bad spelling, bad grammar...

Disclaimer: Yeah, I do not own.

GRAVITATION

Looking Through a Shiny Window

GRAVITATION

It had been relatively normal after the news was out. Well, as normal as you could get with a bunch like the 'family' Tatsuha knew. No one had treated him any different then before and he was happy for that. He didn't want to feel like an invalid, even though that was what he basically became. The pain coursing through his body before was simply needle pricks, but now Tatsuha couldn't describe it. It was unbelievable.

Every night he closed his eyes, he wished to see the next morning light and every time he woke to the sun rays, he was grateful. But day by day, Tatsuha could feel his strength leaving. And it was showing. He couldn't go to the restroom anymore. He had to use the hated object he named Rapist; that's what it did, after all. When it was time to eat, he had to be fed by another. He hated it when Mika, his Father, or even Eiri (once or twice) fed him by hand, but when Ryuichi did, Tatsuha had to admit part of him enjoyed it.

Pretty soon, a month passed and Tatsuha began dreading doomsday. He had heard once that when a person is close to death, they'll know it. A friend from his high school, Takahashi Ryou, had told him a year ago, "Before Daisuke died in that car wreck, he acted funny. He added songs to my mp3 player and he made sure we spent time together. And... and he told me he loved me. I pushed him away. That night I recieved the call from his Mother telling me what happened. I never felt pain before then." Ryou had laughed and called himself an idiot for not listening to his heart. "I do know that Dai knew he was going to die. Like I said, he made sure we did things together. I wonder," Ryou had paused, a small smile forming on his lips, "I wonder what a person goes through when they feel that."

A few days later, Tatsuha slipped into a coma.

GRAVITATION

Mika stared at the pale form of her youngest brother. He doesn't look like himself, she thought, rubbing her thumb back and forth over his palm. I'm so use to energetic Tatsuha, that seeing this stranger on the bed, makes me realize I took him for granted. Mika laughed aloud, "I guess people realize that when someone close is about to..." No, she couldn't... wouldn't say it.

"Realize what?"

Mika turned a little in the chair she was in to give a small grin at her other brother, "That you took someone for granted."

Eiri nodded, "It usually takes times like these to bring that out in people." He moved from the doorway to sit in the other chair across from her. "But we haven't took him for granted."

She opened her mouth to protest but shut it quickly when he raised a hand.

"The past month we spent with him showed us that."

Mika swallowed, "Maybe." She turned her gaze back to the one in the bed. Moving her gaze over his covered body she stared at where his hair had been. When the last strands of hair fell, Tatsuha had started wearing a bandana on his head. He had told them he hated looking into a mirror and not seeing any hair. Tatsuha also admitted that losing his hair made him lose confidence. Mika smiled when she remembered Ryuichi smacking Tatsuha on the arm and loudly proclaiming, "Stupid Tatsuha! Your hair doesn't make you you! You make you you!" Tatsuha had smiled and apologized before giving the singer a soft kiss on his cheek.

"We'll see him again, you know."

Her gaze returned Eiri, "What?"

"Tatsuha," Eiri supplied, waving away the muttering ("I know who!") she growled at him. "When we die, we'll see him again."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

Mika smirked, "And what makes you think you'll go there, huh?"

"Obviously, Kami loves me. Look at what he graced me with."

She snorted at the arrogance her brother seemed to radiate. "You're so sure?"

"Yes."

"And what about me?"

Eiri snorted, "Look at you. Of course you'll go there."

Mika smiled and started rubbing Tatsuha's hand again, "Eiri?" she questioned, a slight shiver in her voice.

"Yeah?" He had an eyebrow raised.

"Do you think that Mother... that she'll take good care of him?"

Eiri's eyes softened to lighter golden hue, "I don't need to think about it, Mika." His gaze locked on to hers. "I know it."

GRAVITATION

Sakuma Ryuichi let the drops of rain trickle their way over his face to splatter against his clothes. Sitting outside the hospital on one of the many benches while it was pouring rain wasn't the best thing he had done. But he wasn't about to walk inside the crowded place that reaked with cleaners and a false cheery atmosphere. No, Ryuichi didn't want to go inside of the place that his lover...

Even after a month and so, he still wouldn't let himself believe. He couldn't. They had so much left to do. So many things to realize about each other, and... he wanted it. He wanted to experience more with Tatsuha. Ryuichi wanted to grow older with the young man by his side. He didn't think he could (would) survive after...

Stop that! Stop thinking about it.

Ryuichi sighed as he leaned against the bench and closed his eyes. Opening his mouth, he tasted the salty rain and wrinkled his nose at the bitterness. When a shadow fell over his already darkened site, Ryuichi squinted his eyes open and glared at the one who blocked the rain.

Tohma simply laughed and moved out of Ryuichi's line of sight and took the spot beside him. "So," he started calmly, "How are you?"

Ryuichi rolled his head sideways to face his bandmate, "I don't know. You tell me."

The older man sighed, raking a hand through his blond hair. "Ryuichi, I don't want to play this game."

Ryuichi nodded, letting his head to drop to his chest, "I know."

"Then why start it?"

"I need... I need to get my mind off of it." Ryuichi knew he didn't need to explain what it was. Tohma knew.

A hand ruffled his brown locks and Ryuichi looked up, "You can't avoid it, you know."

"I know." He left some words unspoke and again, Tohma knew what he wanted to say.

"You can't help but to, right?"

Ryuichi chuckled, "Yes, that's right."

A few moments of silence passed between them and the only sound the two heard was their breathing. A car roared pass them and Tohma began speaking again, "Where's Kuma?"

"With Tatsuha."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I thought Tatsuha would like the company." Ryuichi gave him a wink. "Besides, I know Kuma likes spending time with him. And with..." He still couldn't say it.

Tohma nodded in understanding, "I'm sure he appreciates it."

GRAVITATION

A soft hum vibrated through the small, packed janitor's closet and the owner of the voice raked a hand through his already tousled locks. He sighed as he straightened his legs in front of him. The door of the room opened some, "Shuichi?" The man sighed as he realized his place of hiding had been discovered.

"Yeah, Hiro?"

The door opened all the way, outlining his best friend's form before closing again. Shuichi could barely see as Hiro made his way through all the disinfectants and finally sat next to him. "Are you okay?" Hiro asked.

Shuichi nodded, "I guess."

"Shu?"

"Why?"

"Shuichi?"

"Why does it have to be like this, Hiro? Why is life so unfair?"

Hiro wrapped an arm around Shuichi's shoulders, bringing the slightly tearing man to rest in his arms. "Life isn't so easy, Shu. We don't get to decide when it's time to go or even arrive."

"I know that. But why?" Shuichi felt like a baby, but he didn't care. He just didn't understand why this was happening. And to Tatsuha, of all people. The younger man didn't bother anyone, really, so why did he have to...

"When we're born we come attached with red strings. And each time we let ourselves go to someone: a lover, a friend, a family member, a string hooks on to their string and we become intwined." Hiro paused to take a deep breath. "But when one of those strings break, there is the feeling of not understanding. We don't know why that string had to break apart, but what we do know is that we'll never forget."

Shuichi sniffled, bringing a hand to wipe at his eyes, "Basically, you're saying that I should remember the past?"

"Yeah."

"And if I can't?"

Hiro laughed quietly, "Then you come to me or someone else and we'll help you."

GRAVITATION

He hadn't spoken to the man much before but Suguru found the aging man to be quite the conversationalist. Uesugi-san had an air of confidence mixed in with old age that Suguru couldn't help but wonder if he would ever have it. He watched as the older man and his cousin's bandmate played a game of chess. "What's the score?" he questioned, propping his head against his arm. He leaned over the table slightly to try and figure out what the tiny pieces meant. Suguru had never liked the game.

Noriko giggled, "I'm winning!"

Uesugi-san snorted, moving a piece across the board, "Not for long."

"That's what you said the last five games! Admit you ol' cout," Uesug-san spluttered about the youth and giving no respect to their elders, "You're going to lose and I, Queen Noriko, will rule over the land of... of..."

"Chess?" Suguru suggested.

"Yes! That's it! Queen Norkio of Chess! Ha!"

"Stop yacking and start moving, Queenie." Uesugi-san had a frown on his face but if Suguru looked closer, he could see the amusement running through his eyes.

He needs this, Suguru thought. He needs his mind to be taken off of everything.

"So, Queen Noriko," Suguru started, splaying his arms out in front of him, "What will be your first act of leadership?"

"Hm?" Noriko moved a piece and grinned. "Well, I don't know yet. But I'm sure it will come to... Wait! Ah-ha! That's it!" Noriko's eyes took on a devilish glint, "My first act as Queen will enforce Lord Uesugi to admit defeat!"

Uesugi-san growled, "That's only if you win."

"Ah, but dear sir, you seem to have forgotten the previous five games I have won. Hm? Hmm? Hmmm?"

"Quit your damn 'hmm'ing woman and move already."

"Aw, you're just so disappointed that I'm going to win this one too!" Noriko moved another piece.

Suguru laughed at the two antics. "So confident, Queen Noriko." He couldn't help but egg them on.

Noriko watched as the older man played into her trap and smirked when it was her turn. "Well, Lord Uesugi, it is time!" She moved the final piece and took his queen. "Admit defeat! Checkmate!"

Uesugi-san replayed the game in his mind and his eyes realized what she had done. "That game doesn't count! You cheated!"

"What?" Noriko stood. "I did not! I won fair and square!"

"Like hell you did, woman!" Uesugi-san followed her into standing.

Suguru noticed the Doctor assigned to Tatsuha walk into the lobby and immediately started to try and calm the other two. "Uh, you..."

"Why you no good for nothing stinking..."

"Who are you calling stinking?!"

"HEY!"

Noriko and Uesugi-san stopped arguing and turned their glares to the keyboardist. Suguru gulped, suddenly fearing for his life, but he ignored the sinking feeling and turned towards the fast approaching Doctor. "Sorry about them," he gestured to the now paying attention rivals.

The Doctor waved his apology away, "It's alright."

Uesugi-san strode to the person in charge of his son's welfare, "Well?" Suguru could hear the emotions trying to fight their way of his voice.

The Doctor's friendly smile he had a few seconds ago disappeared and his lips formed a straight line. He had perfected his expression to come natural after too many days like this. "We have some news."

GRAVITATION

There's one more chapter. I might post an Epilogue, but it depends on how I feel at the time.

Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing. You guys are fantastic!!