Pretty Boy Haven Chapter Two, a naruto fanfic

(t)(w)(o)

In the middle of the night
That's when you caught my eye
I chased you round in memories
Through the breeze and the trees and you tease me.
But HEY.

STANDARD DISCLAIMER APPLIED.

"Forehead Girl! Forehead Girl!" The kids chorused in unison.

The tiny, crouched bundle in front of them whimpered.

"Hahahaha…"

A hairy mop of bubble-gum coloured locks trembled.

"Such a big forehead, it can even crush a dinosaur!"

The little bundle identified as a small girl, continued her silent weeps.

"And she's such a cry baby too!"

More streams leaked down her heated cheeks.

Kick.

She toppled over due the pain coursing throughout her entire head and body.

Whoosh. Whoosh.

They were throwing rocks now. She tried to bury herself into her arms, wishing that the earth could just open up and swallow her whole.

Thud. Thud.

She felt a rock scrape off some skin.

It hurts…

"Hahahahaha…what a loser!"

She felt shadows looming over her…she was completely surrounded. There was no escape.

Pull.

"Eek!" She shrieked out painfully, they were pulling her hair!

Pull. Pull.

She felt it.

Strands were practically getting ripped out of its scalp.

"St—" She tried to hiccup out. The pain was overwhelming.

"S-Stop!"

"I guess this is to be expected. After all, her dad is a manwhore!"

She stiffened.

"Yeah, I know. Her dad ran away, probably couldn't stand her giant forehead! Ahahaha…"

Her thoughts halted.

"He'll never come back! I know I wouldn't! I would never want such a giant forehead monster as a daughter…"

Laughter resounded through her ears, excruciatingly painful.

"And her mother! Good god, what a tramp!"

A blaze ignited within her.

"I say she deserved it! She gave birth to a giant forehead freak after all!"

As if like a rubber band had finally snapped under constant pressure, the eight-year old lost control.

POW!

And the boy grabbing her hair fell down to the ground, unconscious.

Everyone froze.

One girl eventually snapped out of it and raced forward. "You!" She growled out and readied a good punch before she was beaten to it and a roundhouse kick deformed her face, leaving her immobile on the ground, twitching.

It was only then that the magic spell broke and everyone resumed back to what they were doing.

They staggered forward to fight.

KAPOW!

PUNCH!

KICK!

SLAP!

BAM!

Thud. Thud.

And they all fell down.

The girl with pink hair, covered in bruises, scrapes, cuts and blood that remained standing, panted heavily. Crimson blood was dripping down her nose, opened scabs from passed torture bled.

"No one…" She gritted out, tears dried up.

"Absolutely no one…"

She breathed, fists clenched firmly.

"…EVER MAKES FUN OF MY FAMILY!"

E v e r y P r i n c e s s
H a s H e r N i g h t

I paced back and forth, back and forth, throwing out profanities every two seconds. I continued my pacing, adding stomps to it to emphasize something I have no idea what.

"Damn it. Damn it. Damn it all!" I threw my arms upwards, toward the starry-filled sky.

I smacked myself on the normal sized forehead, questioning myself violently on how I ended up in this predicament.

Oh yeah, I lost control and just had to let my mouth run off, insulting the people that I would probably need to put up with for many years to come.

Ugh, why did I even have to remind myself?

THIS.

SERIOUSLY.

BLOWS.

I sighed. But the outburst was all behind me because what I'm frustrated about right now is the situation at hand...

I'M.

TOTALLY.

LOST!

I have this sudden urge to cry.

I was walking around, retracing my steps, trying to find my way back but this college is a labyrinth I tell you!

Oh woe is I, this damsel in distress with eye-blinding pink hair in the middle of the night, all alone.

And now, I'm hearing wolves howling in the background and I can't even imagine how that's even possible seeing as we're in the city but who cares! I'M LOSING MY FREAKIN' MIND ANYWAY!

Oh, I know what's going to happen next…

I've read them in mangas before…

This is usually the moment where the main heroine encounters a blood-frenzied, out of control vampire who is about to attack any minute!

First the crazy psycho will go all, Are you lost, little girl?

"Are you lost, little girl?"

Yes, exactly!

And then they'll snarl savagely and pounce on you like a hungry hyena!

And oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, OH GOD!

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" I screamed, shutting my eyes and unconsciously getting into a fighting stance.

I'm too young to die! Well, it's not technically dying. But as quote from Edward Cullen, I'm going to lose my soul! Wahhhh…

Silence.

"…?"

It was then that I realized it wasn't snowing in July, no drip drops of crimson liquid, no animalistic beast ready to suck my blood, no sign of a Kaname in shining dark hair ready to act all cool and get all "You're a disgrace to all vampires." then a "Are you okay?" and save the day.

Just silence.

I took my time in opening my eyes but when I did, the sight wasn't exactly what I wanted to see.

I gawked openly.

A man upside down, hanging from a tree wearing a mask, an eye patch, gray hair that defied all laws of physics, and reading a porn book came into my line of vision.

I did what any other typical pink-haired teenager would do.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh! A LIVING SCARECROW READING UNCENSORED PORN IN FRONT OF AN UNADULTERATED VIRGIN!"

I grabbed a nearby tree branch (which coincidentally happened to be the size of a baseball bat) and made a grand slam with his face.

Huh, no wonder people enjoyed Team Rocket blasting off again…

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

I bowed repeatedly, getting dizzy from doing it so many times but I still carried out the action.

"I'm really sorry! I thought you were some vampire out to suck a young maiden's blood! I'm so, so sorry! I didn't mean to—"

"Ahaha. It's alright Sakura-san, really."

"I didn't know you were our section's dorm leader, Kakashi-san! If I've known, I would never do that! I'm really, really sorry!"

"Just call me Kakashi. Everyone makes mistakes, just…don't do it again or else I'll have to sue okay?" He spoke playfully as we walked along, ruffling my hair like one would do to a child's, or a retarded child. It depends on how you look at it.

"Huh…" I murmured, slightly relieved.

"I'm serious." He added, a menacing aura radiating off his entire stance.

I stiffened.

"Just kidding! Ohohoho…" He laughed foolishly before frolicking through imaginary daisies ahead.

"I'm sorry." I bowed once more, stopping altogether.

He halted and looked behind his shoulder, a diminutive eye crinkling at me, a supposed smile tracing underneath his mysterious mask.

"Come along now, I'll show you back to your dorm." And he walked ahead, expecting me to follow…

And I did.

"Here we are." Kakashi guided.

I bet no matter how many times I see the front of our dorm—mansion, I'll never cease to gape at least once.

I span around and witnessed his retreating back.

"Call me Sakura!" I yelled after him. And…thank you.

For some reason, it seem like he understood as he gave me one more smile (or at least I thought it was a smile seeing as his eye wrinkled) and lifted a hand in farewell.

I felt my lips twitch slightly to form a secretive smile but it soon vanished as I watched him retrieved his Icha Icha Paradise out of his pocket.

So many perverts yet so little death notes.

I slipped my dungeon key ever so carefully into the keyhole, unlocked the door and tried to sneak inside. It felt like I hit something so I used a little more power but the scene that emerged after that had my jaw dropping all the way to the floor.

There was Naruto lying on the floor, in his boxers, blushing face aghast at my sudden arrival.

And connected to him was a sweaty Sasuke who looked up, face twitching traumatically.

And then there was a bruised Neji whose head was buried somewhat beneath Naruto's crotch.

Sai's smile was yanked into a straight line, "Tsk." all the while straddling Neji.

Akamaru looked like he was doing foreplay with Kiba whose one hand was holding onto Naruto's pants and the other was located on Naruto in a spot where they shouldn't be.

And for some reason, Gaara was knocked out cold behind the door with his tongue sticking out and eyes looking similar to x's.

Shikamaru flipped his head in my direction, face clearly entertained.

"Wow, you knocked out Gaara." He commented offhandedly.

But I was in way too much shock so his words came in one ear and out the other. I tilted my head sideways. This awfully reminds me of that one scene from that yaoi manga I encountered—

My eyes widen as big as saucers.

So I did what any typical pink-haired teenager would do.

"So, this is the forbidden love in which we dare not speak its name."

"…"

"Huh…basically, you guys are having a fivesome plus one dog eh?"

Naruto stuttered out, "Sakura-cha—"

"I'm going to go gouge my eyes out now." And I slammed the door the second time that day.

The men in the household heard the distinct fading sound of, "AHHHHHH! MY EYES! MY PRECIOUS VIRGIN EYES!"

Dirty thoughts be gone.

Dirty thoughts BE GONE!

Gone!

Hell! I rather get molested my wolves than see THAT.

I attempted to gouge my eyes out before realizing that they're vital organs needed to continue my education. Plus, learning Brail is way too troublesome.

Ew, I sound like the Sexist Pig.

I threw my arms upward once more toward the now cloud-covered night sky.

"Why…" I wailed out.

"Why…" Imaginary tears poured down my face.

"WHY IS COLLEGE SO MESSED UP?!"

And her anguished cry swam west.

"…messed up, messed up, messed up..."

A farmer in China wearing a peasant bamboo hat lifted his head up to the blue skies before focusing his eyes on his fat old lady wife.

"Yo egg no wok wit me tadpole. Buddha say yeass tu. Me put me lito cucumber in fat hippo an make bebes! "

Since you're infertile and I got the thumbs up from Buddha, I'm going to make babies with your sister instead.

His fat old lady wife scoffed. "Yu no ka aneewai."

You suck.

Duh! What REALLY happened!

"Hey Sasuke!"

"…"

"Sasukeee…"

"..."

"Sasukeeee!"

"…"

"Teme, stop ignoring me!"

"Hn."

"Oh, don't you dare 'Hn' me either!"

"Hn."

"HN-ING HOMO IN DENIAL!"

Sasuke's right foot was about to make contact with the floor when it instantly suspended in midair.

"Do not…" He uttered lowly.

"Eh? What was that, Hn-ing Homo In Denial?"

"Do not…"

"Still can't hear you…" Naruto sing song-ed giddily.

"Ever…"

"Huh?" Naruto blinked before something big and scary tackled him to the floor.

"Kyaaa—ughgadkjsoid—"

"Oh, is this some kind of mating ritual between two gay males?"

"Sh—SHUT—dksjdksad-UP—SAI!" Naruto managed to choke out before pushing Sasuke off of him. He threw a punch but Sasuke stopped the assault with his palm before landing a grueling kick to Naruto's stomach. The latter tasted some of his breakfast rising back up his mouth again.

"This is indeed a fascinating ritual, I can't look away! It's like the Discovery Channel all over again!" Sai exclaimed happily, eyes glued to Naruto and Sasuke.

"Oh! That's it!" Naruto spat out before grabbing Sai's collar and threw him into the fight too.

"This is childish."

"Then why don't you discover your inner child, Hyuuga." Sasuke wiped his mouth and aimed a punch at Neji the latter barely dodge, Sasuke's knuckles marginally scraped against his face.

And no Hyuuga backs down from a fight declared by an Uchiha. He shall prove to everyone once and for all who's the real leader of the pack! HE WILL BE THE ALMIGHTY ALPHA MALE!

"Goodness gracious—" Kiba bit his tongue. 'Holy mother of pearls, was he going to say 'goodness gracious'?'

"I'm losing my mind." He groaned. But thankfully, he looked around the living room…no one heard him because Shikamaru was engrossed in the scene unfolding, Gaara was leaving, grunting a "I'm going for a walk." And the rest were having the catfight.

"EAT MY SHORTS SAUCEGAY!"

Sasuke dodged it.

Instead, the pair of pants flew toward Kiba and landed on his head..

'Please do not tell me these are Naruto's…Please do not tell me these are Naruto's…'

He seized the monstrosity off his head and quivered.

"Narutard..."

He randomly contemplated his options.

"Let's see, to avoid prison... I can always flee to Alaska and become an eskimo. I mean, I already got the jacket." He nodded and dove in, Akamaru following faithfully after.

But that was the moment when the Pinky decided to return.

The door slid open and it instantly rammed into Gaara, knocking him out.

Everybody stopped at the sound, leaving them in a very suggestive position except the sidelined Shikamaru who was totally disappointed at the interruption.

They watched as the girl's face heated, cooled, thoughtful, then dazed with agglomeration.

One colourful word ran through their minds that fleeting moment,

'Shit…'

Dirty thoughts be gone.

Dirty thoughts be gone!

Dirty thoughts BE GONE!

I've been chanting those five syllables for exactly ten minutes now and my mind's actually getting tired.

I wonder if North Korea have good education systems, communism can't be worse than this, can it?

I stood by the doorway, unconsciously coming back while scratching my chin as I skimmed through every thought.

The door opened and the living room was unveiled.

"Sakura-chan! You're back!" Reminiscent yellow spikes bobbed up and down.

Out of nowhere, he hooked onto my wrist and led me to the kitchen. I had no chance to protest.

I was surprised to find out that the kitchen was actually clean then again…it might've not been used yet since it's only the beginning of the semester.

I took a seat on a stool positioned by the counter.

"I'm really sorry about earlier Sakura-chan. It must've scarred you for life huh?"

A double door fridge was found along the left wall. A flat-surfaced stove and two-twin sinks with matching dishwashers underneath was positioned against the middle wall.

"Well, Sauce-GAY might be gay! But I'm not, honest!"

While oak cupboards decorated the upper levels and tall cabinets took up most of the space on the right wall.

"We were just fighting. It's really an everyday occurrence so don't worry about it Sakura-chan!"

Flower patterned tiles laid on the walls. The floor was tiled plainly.

"So seriously, I'm not gay!"

Together, the kitchen formed half a square with a frilly-curtained window above the sink. The smooth counter lay in the middle of it all. In other words, this kitchen was spankin'.

"Uh, yeah…" I answered, not really listening.

Naruto beamed. "Glad to get that cleared up!"

I raised an eyebrow. Get what cleared up?

He placed a cup of hot-boiled instant noodles in front of me. Well, that really explains about my attention span doesn't it? I was too busy analyzing the kitchen I didn't see him cooking.

I watched him as he filled the pot with a new change of water, waited patiently before the water started bubbling. "Ohh! The water is boiled! The water is boiled! Ready to put some ramen in now!" He clapped giddily.

I watched him once more, opening the bags of seasoning into the cup and then pouring the hot water. With a stir, voila! I didn't agree with his methods because that was seriously unhealthy, my doctor side kicking in again.

But instant noodles isn't exactly healthy is it?

Note to self: Give Ramen Pervert On Crack a full body checkup when I graduate and become certified to cut one's intestine's open without getting arrested.

"Aren't you going to eat your ramen? I'm sure you haven't eaten dinner yet." Naruto questioned.

I looked down at my cooled cup before taking it into my hand, grabbed the chopsticks Naruto laid down and ate.

He grinned softly before digging into his own.

Naruto inhaled everything like a vacuum and was done before I even gotten to my third bite.

"Wahhh. That's one good ramen." He patted his stomach, giving more emphasis. "Normally, I would've ate more but I'm low on stock."

I just had to ask, "How many do you usually eat?" I was really amazed by his answer, "My average would be around 6 cups but my record would be 12! Though…I got a stomachache after that. Hehe." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly at his last words.

"I'm going to be the King of Ramen one day!" He proclaimed, still full of energy in the middle of the night.

Maybe he should be a lab rat…analyzing his stamina could be an interesting process and I wouldn't be surprise if his blood flow has some ramen contents in it.

I regarded him dully.

He poked his chest with his thumb. "My dream is to one day invent the most delicious ramen in the entire world!"

I would've scoffed at such an idiotic dream but seeing the glitter and determination in his eyes, I couldn't bring myself to do so. Rich kids sure do have interesting dreams.

"I, I'm sure… you'll accomplish your dream if you put your mind to it Naruto." Wow, that was lame. I threw in an awkward smile with my sentence as a bonus.

He stared at me, eyes wide.

Did he discover my plans of world domination?

"Sakura-chan…" He whispered. I was a bit taken a back with his abrupt reflective form. "…thank you."

He broke into smile, not grin but smile, the types that are truly meaningful.

Naruto was deep in thought for a little while, giving me time to finish my ramen.

Let's see…after world domination: make anime the official religion, reading manga is a sacred practice and everybody shall worship…oh I know! Lavi from D. Gray-Man! Or should it be Kanda? Ugh, what a heart-wrenching decision.

His next question made me choke. "What's your dream, Sakura-chan?"

I focused my eyes on him, mouth hanging. I realized it was a bit nasty seeing as ramen was still in my mouth so I closed it.

"W-what?" I couldn't comprehend his question at all.

No one and I mean absolutely no one had ever asked me what my dream was before.

Truthfully, I didn't even tell my own mother about this except informing her that I was going to be a Pre-Med major, gaining a smile and support from her with no questions asked. I didn't blame her though. She was busy with work and her changing of boyfriends. So I had to keep 50 percent of the things to myself.

I looked away, my eyes getting glassy.

So much for girl power. My inner self insulted.

I settled my ramen cup down, with the chopsticks lying on top. "I want…" I took a deep breath before continuing, my eyes not daring to meet his radiant azure eyes.

"I want to become a doctor…it's been my dream ever since I was a pre-schooler, saving others and seeing the happiness and relief of the family members. Of course, there'll be times where I can't save that person but… every bit helps right?" I ended the explanation with a question but it was mostly for myself.

It was weird...discussing my feelings.

His chuckle made me look up again.

"I hope it comes true Sakura-chan!" He smiled, appreciatively. "You have my support all the way! I've got your back!" He gave me a thumbs up after that.

To say I was shocked was an understatement.

"You know…Sakura-chan. You're really different." I took back my ramen cup but I wasn't eating it, only staring.

"Because I'm a commoner?" I suggested.

He started waving his hands in defense. "No! No! Sakura-chan! Of course not! I mean…"

I stopped my glaring contest with my beef ramen and faced him.

"You're a good person." He ended.

"…"

I snorted. Naïve.

He shrugged, gave me a weak smile, took my ramen cup along with his and hurled them down the garbage can.

"You can't judge a book by its cover."

He cracked a smile at my claim. "Well I think so! I'm glad you're the one rooming with us Sakura-chan!"

"You know…" I grinned.

"...?"

"I never thought that rich snobs could be so…nice?"

"Snobs?" Naruto gasped mockingly, a hand resting above his heart. "Well, Sakura-chan I agree we can be bastards sometimes, especially Sasuke-teme, Neji-teme and Gaara but once you get to know them, I'm sure you'll like them!"

"Doubt it, people like them are the ones I can't stand. They think they can just rule the world because their families are all high and almighty but guess what? They don't even know the true meaning of the real world." I bit out.

He gave me a thoughtful glance, lifting his arms behind his head.

"You know Sakura-chan…like you said, don't judge a book by its cover." I blinked at his sudden emotionless voice.

"Everyone of us has a past that we want to hide and forget…the sorrow we've suffered. Though we may seem rich and easy-going now but before…I remember…" He shook his head, disheartening by the second.

I was aware of the fact that his knuckles were turning white because the pressure his fists were making.

"Hey…" I moved to touch his shoulder but his stance loosened and relaxed. "But I guess that's a story for another day!" His expression quickly regained its luster but my eyes narrowed at the regret that flashed across his eyes.

He started hopping up the stairs like that pink electric bunny I saw on a T.V. commercial, what was it called again? Something about batteries…my thoughts were cut off when Naruto took my hand in his and started pulling me along.

"Come on! I'll give you a tour of the whole house! But we'll have to be really, really quiet!"

Quiet? Look who's talking.

Altogether, forgetting Naruto's cryptic words.

"She's back."

"In the end, we didn't even need to look for her."

"You were the one searching for her, Hyuuga."

"So did you, Uchiha."

"Brick Wall Version I and Version II do have emotions after all. But I can't believe Dickless beat everyone in searching just by staying in the house."

"That Narutard is a dumbass. But who are you to talk, Sai you didn't do anything! Oh yeah you're emotionally-constipated but in your case, it's even worse than Sasuke and Neji."

Bark!

"See! Akamaru agrees with me!"

"I dare you to say that to Gaara's face, Kiba. He didn't do anything either."

Gaara stared, challenging the Zoophile to say anything.

"…"

"Hmm, that's what I thought."

"Get bent, Sai."

"…Where's Shikamaru?"

"Sleeping."

Snore. Snore.

"QUIT CHANGING THE SUBJECT!"

"You want to compare whose dick is bigger then?"

"You are one sick—"

"I'm walking on raaamen. Wooooah! And it's gonna taste GOOD! Oh yeeeahhh..."

Everybody by the patio winced. Naruto's note was way off.

"Dear Spongebob, if you love me; you'll ditch your poorly decorated pineapple house and your suspiciously homosexual relationship with Patrick and come kill me. LIKE, NOW. I MEAN IT THIS TIME!"

That was probably Sakura.

"So, Sakura-chan! Weren't you not wearing your glasses when you first came in?"

"Do you think I was wearing glasses when I first came in, Naruto?"

"Well, I couldn't tell through the pie I threw at you."

"…"

"…?"

"You WHAT?!"

Author's Note:

Yes, the manga scene Sakura was referring to with the vampire etc. is from Vampire Knight. It was the first few frames of the beginning where Yuuki was in the snow and Kaname appeared etc.

Speaking of Vampire Knight, ANYONE READ CHAPTER 41?
(BEWARE OF SPOILERS.)
Zero didn't make an appearance. Dx
But the Shiki/Rima moment totally made up for it, heh. ;3

& Review. ;)

! Kat.