(t)(h)(r)(e)(e)
Once upon a time there was a girl
You really wouldn't call her typical
Had her own definition of cool
She lived in her own world.
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STANDARD DISCLAIMER APPLIED.
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Dedicated to Katie & Katie Louise. :)
Also known as dances.with.sunflowers. & rawful butter respectively.
For always putting a smile on my face through either pm's, reviews or livejournal comments.
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I remember…
Not too long ago after my stupid ass dad had left…
I was just another kid (minus the pink hair) playing at the local park.
But I guess I was a little different from all the other kids…
Where's my mother? A person would ask…
And I would answer,
She's too busy…
Or
She's working…
Mother has to make money and take care of the household. There was no one else for her to depend on…
And they would walk away with those pitiful eyes.
I detested those eyes.
While some others offered me a chance to play with their kids but I would always decline.
I would not take pity from anyone.
I sometimes wished I was a grown up so I could help lessen the burden on mother's shoulders. But I realized I can't because I was still a child, I was too small. I was part of the burden because I was too... weak.
I winced at the word.
Weak…
Maybe that was the problem.
If only I were stronger, maybe dad wouldn't have left.
If only I were stronger, maybe the neighborhood kids wouldn't have picked on me so much…
If only I were stronger, maybe I would've made some real friends at school…
If only I were stronger.
All these if only's…
It all came crashing down on me like a tidal wave.
Choking me.
Drowning me.
Then why don't you become stronger…?
I stiffened.
That was not my voice…
I darted my eyes to and fro to see where the voice originated from but it was all in vain because I didn't catch anything suspicious.
The only thing I saw were kids running wildly with their panting parents sauntering after them.
You unleashed me last time, remember? All those kids throwing rocks at you…they deserved to get hurt. It's only right…because they hurt you too. An eye for an eye.
My hands gripped onto the metal chain that attached the swing in all its glory.
What…is this?
Some children were having a sand ball fight at the sandbox while the others slid down the slide and pranced around on the jungle gym, all of them laughing happily like there's not a care in the world.
I would've taken my time to envy them on my loner's swing if it weren't for the fact that a voice was vibrating inside my mind.
I felt a cold drop of sweat rushing down the side of my normal sized forehead.
If you're afraid to speak your mind then let me do it for you.
Who…are you?
I am…
…?
…your fairy godparent.
…
…
…
...
...
Ugh, fine. Sheesh, kids suffering dissociative identity disorder just aren't the same these days. In short, I am YOU but like an alter ego – you know… like, umm Superman!
…Are you going to make me wear speedos and spandex?
What? Eww. No, of course not. Have you even looked at that cape girl? Hell no!
Okay then, whatever.
Groovy.
...
Sorry.
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S n o w W h i t e
I s C i n d e r e l l a ?
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Poke.
I groaned, dismissing the assault.
Poke. Poke.
I twitched slightly.
Thanks to Naruto, I went to bed—couch at around 2 in the morning so my plan was to sleep it off till noon to make up for lost time.
Good god, he wouldn't stop talking.
I thought with time, his vocal cords would eventually wear out but apparently, his voice defies all laws of whatever shit.
Leave me alone! I'm sleepy so I don't have to be coherent right now.
But cheers… there'll be no classes until Monday, which is tomorrow… but it's still tomorrow! Hah!
Procrastination for life fools!
The college opens three days prior the actual opening day of the semester to give the students a chance to settle into their dorms—mansion. I arrived on the second day so I'm guessing the guys arrived on the first.
I've asked Naruto about the rooming system and he merely shrugged, something along the lines of "King Of Ramen" and "Special" spurted out of his mouth along with those endless "Hehehehe's…" and a "Saucegay".
I've tuned him out by then, wondering at the back of mind why he was complaining about "gay sauce."
Can you really determine a sauce's sexuality?
But I've tuned back in when he started chatting about how they weren't expecting me and when they caught a word that it's going to be a female roommate, they immediately assumed I was a fan girl.
Talk about ridiculous!
I coughed mentally.
I knew something wasn't right when these sharp pokes at the back of my spine kept getting harder and harder.
I shrugged it off…but it continued after a few more seconds.
Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Po—
Okay, that's it.
My bloodshot eyes snapped open.
I lifted the sheets that were covering my head, stuck out an arm to grab my fugly glasses before revealing my entire face. I focused my glare onto my assaulter but it soon melted away when I discovered whom it was.
"M—Morning Gaara."
His sea-foam, eyebrow-less eyes threw me into an endless abyss...
Sort of, life isn't exactly a shoujo manga you know!
"You. Breakfast. Now."
I blinked.
He stared.
I blinked.
He stared.
I blinked.
He stared with a do-it-now-or-I'll-shower-you-with-rainbow-coloured-unicorns-and-sing-I'm-too-sexy-for-my-shirt look.
Or maybe it really translated into a do-it-now-or-I'll-kill-you-and-no-one-will-ever-find-your-body-nor-will-they-recognize-it-and-then-sing-I'm-too-sexy-for-my-shirt look.
Who knows, boys are weird.
During my train of thought, I didn't realize I automatically got out of bed and stepped into the bathroom, performed my morning rituals, robotically walked into the kitchen, went into Martha Stewart mode and brought out plates and plates of omelets to the dining room where everyone was seated.
(I blame my stupid ass dad for pushing my swing so damn high causing me to fly and I was landing on a tree so high and I thought I was going to die. But I ended up ramming heads with a crow instead — thus lost a few brain cells, probably the ones that gives me long attention spans. AND NO I WAS NOT TRYING TO RHYME, PSHH.)
It was only when Sai oh-so-kindly given me his commentary that I snapped out of my trance.
"This looks like cow shit… who had diarrhea." And he smiled, eyes crinkling.
"Speak more and I'll make sure your diarrhea comes out of an area where you'll never imagine it can ever come out of." And I rewarded him with my Teen Choice Awards winning smile.
"You mean my dick?"
Kiba snorted before muttering an "I-don't-wanna-eat-this."
"Then why don't you eat Akamaru's share?" I snarled out sarcastically.
He didn't take it as an insult. "I can't. Akamaru will get mad at me." Akamaru barked in acknowledgement.
I twitched disturbingly before I penguin-walked back into the kitchen, bringing out some good ol' vitamin C.
"Aww, Sakura-chan! I don't want omelets and orange juice! Can't I have ramen? Pleeeeeease?" He pleaded, puppy-dog eyes in play.
"It's either orange juice or toilet water." I jerked my head towards Akamaru who whizzed straight to the bathroom to slurp said toilet water.
"I don't think I flushed the toilet." Naruto claimed.
Neji and Shikamaru cringed.
Gaara just sat there.
I frowned disapprovingly.
Note to self: Never enter said bathroom, ever, ever again. Ever.
"There's a thing called hygiene, Dobe." Sasuke stated, disgusted beyond all levels.
"Oh my god, my dog! Akamaru, don't drink the poison!" Kiba panicked.
And through all the chaos with the Zoophile screaming at the Ramen Pervert On Crack and with the latter screaming right back along the lines of, "You know what…if my dog dies, I'm so kicking your ass to Oto to have Orochimaru molest you." and "SO WHAT DOG BREATH?! AT LEAST I'M PRETTIER THAN YOU!" and "What does THAT have to do WITH ANYTHING?" and "I DONNO. BUT FEAR MY HOTNESS! I'M SO HOT, I AM ON FIRE BABY, THAT BURNIN' UP SONG SHOULD BE DEDICATED TO MOI!" and "YOU REALLY ARE ON CRACK!" and "AT LEAST I'M ON HOT CRACK!" while The Hning Homo In Denial, The Blind Transvestite, and The Insomniac Killer watching on said event impassively with The Sexist Pig sleeping obliviously and ERSGA smiling and through this completely run-on sentence, this squished paragraph and this rushed and unrealistic filler, all the occupied plates were left spotless.
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I hummed happily as I wiped the plates and silverware, and placed them back onto their rightful spots.
Ah. Mission accomplished. I can so pass for a Kim Possible and or slash ninja.
But the essence of victory ended when another essence of manly shampoo, tomatoes and all those other boyish smells replaced it.
It was then that I realized Sasuke was standing in front of me, just an inch away from skin contact.
My breath hitched.
Life would be so much easier if I didn't possess any hormones, like seriously.
I saw my reflection on those smoldering, charcoal orbs and oh my god that flawless skin. My heart was thumping hard against my chest that moment.
Doki. Doki. It went.
And the thought of a heart going doki doki wasn't exactly scientifically correct never crossed my mind because I was crushing. I was crushing on him. The gay man! But I'm going to deny it because that's the right thing to do. I think. Plus Naruto is going to be so hurt. I don't want to be a home wrecker like that dumb tramp my father liked—
A piece of paper was shoved into my face.
I tilted my head sideways, not understanding.
He saw this and sighed. I saw him ran a few slender fingers over his dark (and soft I assume) locks.
My fingers twitched, getting this sudden urge to run through those smooth locks myself before realizing this was a sick thought, sort of.
Ugh, MEN EQUALS BAD. MEN EQUALS BAD! BAD! BAD!
Sasuke made eye contact with me once more. "It's the list of chores for you to do today." The tone he used was like explaining foreplay to a 14 year-old, hormones rampaging teenager going through stages of puberty.
Why do I feel dumber in this house?
My eyes skimmed through the list's contents.
- Wipe the windows.
- Vacuum the carpet.
- Clean the toilet.
- Clear Akamaru's litter box.
Yada, yada, blah, blah, blah…let's get near the end:
- Clean Naruto's—
"Room?! You're kidding me right? It's only been three days!"
Sasuke shrugged, boredom written all over his face.
"And you're making me clean that toilet? As much as I would love to enjoy other's feces and urine, I prefer strawberries and sunflowers. Thanks."
I shot daggers at the incoming Naruto. He saw my menacing aura, squeaked and scurried out of the kitchen.
I switched my glare onto the pretty boy standing before me. Sasuke gave me a look that screamed okay-ditch-that-and-let's-go-watch-the-sunset-together-and-rehearse-a-scene-from-Icha-Icha-Paradise-instead-and-then-have-me-sing-I'm-too-sexy-for-my-shirt.
Or it could've been a you-don't-have-a-choice-so-get-going-and-by-the-way-I-am-too-sexy-for-my-shirt look.
Who knows, boys are weird.
By the way, since I am so superly awesomerific, fanana-bananatastic, I just had to trip over my own toes. Really, I can prove to scientists everywhere the impossible limits of stupidity. So while I have my face squished to the kitchen tiles, (It really is beyond me how my fugly glasses can still survive. I'd bet anything those glasses can go through a 10 on the richter magnitude scale and come out without a single scratch on them.) I should be promoted from Lieutenant Obvious to Captain Obvious.
"I fell." I elaborated.
I swore I heard Sasuke rolled his eyes.
"You could've at least tried to catch me."
"That would be cliche."
"Go die, homo."
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Hours and hours passed by. Or maybe it was only an hour but I made my way through the list and it's finally, finally the end. Almost.
Clean Naruto's room was all I had to do. And then mop the kitchen tiled floors.
No biggie!
And I'm going to cram those words back into my mouth—
It was the portal to ramen hell I tell you!
It's only been three days and his floor was covered in ramen cups, half-eaten ramen, ramen containers and the room smelled like a horse stable!
And ramen.
Spongebob, you're an ass. Why did you leave me alive?!
I put on a mouth protector and covered myself in plastic protection before entering.
Shikamaru passed by and nodded, complimenting me offhandedly. "Smart." Before proceeding to his room.
After an agonizing hour and a half, the room was spotless or so it seems. I took off my mouth protector and sighed out proudly.
The Kim Possible and or slash ninja wannabe does it again!
I didn't bother cleaning the corners. It's Naruto after all so he won't notice, duh.
Speak of the devil, the Ramen King has entered his Ramen Castle.
"Wow… Sakura-chan! This place is spotless!"
I harrumphed, "Yes. Well, I am a miracle worker so concerning payment—"
"Hey, why is this corner—"
"Never mind, it's free."
"Heh. Looks like you did a pretty good job, Ugly Hag. I never knew Naruto's room will ever be available for inhabitance ever again except for the Dickless himself."
"Shut up Sai! I am the future KING OF RAMEN! You have no right—"
"Naruto, watch out for the—"
Garbage can. I finished mentally.
It was too late, seeing as he rammed into it, all the junk that was once inside the garbage can are now pouring out onto the carpet. (Which I've worked so hard on cleaning.
Ish.)
I would be having a fit right now if it weren't for the fact that Naruto flew on top of me, with me under him, on his bed, our faces only half a centimeter away from each other.
Through the corners of my eyes, Sai was smiling slyly at our position.
I kind of want to choke him with tofu right now.
Orange blocked my vision. Oh yeah, almost forgot about this.
I blushed (prettily because I CAN) when I felt Naruto's breathing (which smells like ramen might I add) fanning over my face. My face flushed madly at this.
Naruto's face was plastered with shock but before long, his face was as red as well.
"Umm…" I tried to speak out but I couldn't. My throat closed up without my command.
Get off me! My mind yelped but my inner was cheering me on, telling me to rape him. Spongebob, look what you did. You're leaving a potential female rapist of teenage pretty boys on the loose. Thus, you are an ass. A HOMOSEXUAL ASS! Don't think I don't know what you do with Patrick behind that ugly rock!
"Dobe."
S—Sasuke?
I threw Naruto off of me.
"S—Sasuke!" I dusted myself off, slightly scared.
"I—I didn't do anything to Naruto! Honest! He slipped! I fell! I didn't touch your girlfriend—or boyfriend but you seem like the dominant type so girlfriend should be right! Please don't get mad, I'm not into love triangles. I know the relationship between you and Naruto is special—and, and really men and men relationships are beautiful! So I—"
"Sakura, please stop talking."
I clamped my mouth shut.
Sai's face was laughing, LAUGHING! The nerve of him! I bet he's just mad he ain't getting any from nobody in this house. Yeah, that's it.
NO, I'M NOT CHILDISH!
Naruto was still overwhelmed by what just happened since his face was still red and he was stuttering nonstop. Sweat slipped down his forehead and he kept waving his hands like a mad man. "S—S—Sorry Sakura-c—chan! I—I'm so clumsy, a—aren't I? Ahahahaha, I'm going to go poop ramen now so…bye!" and he flew out the door.
Too much information.
Sasuke's gaze drilled a hole into my noggin.
Oh god, I said—thought "noggin". What has the world come to?
I was embarrassed. I was nervous.
Sai was gone god knows where so it was just he and I.
I felt naked. I felt vulnerable.
My blush returned as I went on to pick up the spilled garbage, feeling a little sad that I had to start over.
I was surprised when a pale hand reached out to help me. I lifted my head and saw Sasuke picking up the garbage. His face wasn't facing me though. But instead, it was concentrated on the junk in front of him.
"Are you going to stare at me all day or are you going to clean up?" He asked, a tinge of annoyance lacing his usually monotone voice.
I shivered a bit before replying, "Yeah, sorry…" I whispered quietly and resumed my cleaning. Through my peripheral vision, I thought I saw him look at me for a split second before cleaning up again.
I was going to question if this was "too cliche" for him but I was distracted.
"Sasuke?"
"...?"
"…What kind of lotion do you use?"
I don't deserve to live.
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It was late in the afternoon, almost into the evening. The sun was already on the other side of the sky.
I was mopping the damned kitchen floors. Back and forth motions were seriously killing my arm.
I sighed before taking the mop into my hands and squeezed with all my might. Dirty water came pouring down into the bucket. I landed the mop back onto the floor and pushed up and down, up and down, wiping some sweat off my forehead with my clean backhand and continued.
Up and down…
A few knocks resounded from the door.
I ceased my mopping, rubbed my wet fingers onto the frilly green apron I was wearing and made my way toward the door. Before I could touch the knob, a hand grabbed onto mine and I traced the arm back to its owner, I saw the Blind Tranvestite's face. "Fan girls." He warned.
How does he know? He's blind...
But a light bulb just went on inside my head. I secretly smirked and twisted the doorknob.
"Ahh. My hand slipped..."
I heard a choking sound in the living room.
I sidestepped but I didn't know who, pushed me out of the way, squeals and "Sasuke-kunnnn and Neji-kunnnn and Oh Sai marry me! I love you Shikamaru! You're so cute Gaara! Will you go out with me Naruto?" started.
I closed the door and stood outside stupefied. But it didn't last long when a grin made its way onto my face.
I could hear the guys' protests being drowned out by the rabid fan girls. I did feel bad for Naruto though but…he did make me clean his room so we're even.
I snickered lowly when I heard a manly scream cut through the "Kyaaaaaa!" like a butter knife.
Oh how I love life right now.
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DOO! DO! DEE! Extra Stor-ee!
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The boys struggled to make their escape, they didn't know how long they've been in there but it felt like hours.
Kiba's mentality snapped and jumped out the window, not being able to withstand the clawing and groping from the scary, scary girls anymore. Correction, not girls but wild hyenas.
"Goodbye world." With that said, he was flying…for a second and a half.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! Kyaaaaaaaaaaa!!" Oh how manly.
Kiba soared downwards, mouth opened to catch some flies.
In a matter of milliseconds, he landed on something soft. More precisely, his lips landed on something soft…and fluffy? No, more like furry.
He opened his sharp eyes. "Oh. My. Poodle." How he managed to say that with his lips occupied is beyond human comprehension.
He was kissing a cat!
A whimper resounded softly behind him.
He craned his neck to look behind his shoulder, wiping the disgusting taste of catnip off his lips. Kiba's eyes widened immensely, jaws dropping in mortification. There was Akamaru, eyes filled with pain and unshed tears. A sense of betrayal washed over the poor little thing's face. It seems like the dog followed his owner loyally, even to his doom.
Kiba looked back down to the half-dead feline. They were in quite a suggestive position. Kiba's hands were planted on both sides of the cat's face, his whole body hovering over it.
Yep, very suggestive.
He quickly hopped onto his feet and waved his arms frantically like his life depended on it. "No! Akamaru, it's not what you think!"
But the poor dog could only back away as Kiba stepped forward. "No…please Akamaru." He begged. "You know you're the only one for me."
A tear finally slid down Akamaru's cheek. And with a dramatic pose of hurt, he twisted backwards and ran off into the sunset—never mind it's still the afternoon.
Kiba dropped to his knees.
"AKAMARUUUUUUU!!"
An anguished sob.
And more sobs.
Oh why does life always have to end in tragedy?
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Author's Note:
There was nothing on TV so I somehow decided to reread Twilight...
At 1 AM.
I'm tired.
In other news, please check out my new! story:
METROPOLIS!
& Review it.
And this too.
It'll make me happy.
And when I'm happy,
I write.
This is not a bribe.
(ish.)
! Kat.
P.S. Oh, just a spoiler:
The Akatsuki gang will make an appearance. Now, my fan girl minions; YOU MAY SCREAM/SQUEAL/FLAIL/SHOUT/GIGGLE/SWOON/ AND OR MAKE LOUD KYAA NOISES etcetera, etcetera. (: