Title: Parterre Chapter Two: "Remember Me"

Author: Psycha (deadestiny K+ (PG)

Codes: C, T

Parts: Unknown

Summary: A wise man once said; "Nothing worthwhile is easy." And Doctor Beverly Crusher is just about to find out how right he was, especially in matters of friendship and love.

Chapter Two: "Remember Me"

Warily Beverly Crusher looked at the faces around her, wishing she could make her friends and colleagues understand how horrible it had been to be trapped in that warp bubble, to have everyone around her, everyone she cared about, disappear.

A hand closing around her own shook her out of her thoughts. She turned to her side and found empathic eyes watching her, troubled with emotions. Beverly managed a small smile to assure the counselor that she was all right and averted her eyes to Jean-Luc.

He met her eyes and she could see a multitude of emotions in his hazel ones. A quiet understanding passed between them. He was glad to have her back in one piece, and she was glad to have her trusted friend back.

The warm hand withdrew from hers and when she looked back to Deanna, Troi had turned to face the captain as well.

"Then," Picard's strong voice concluded the meeting, carrying easily through the observation lounge, "I think we can close this particular investigation." The senior staff officers nodded, herself included. "We're glad you found your way back Beverly." He said warmly, stepping off protocol by using her first name.

Beverly smiled. "As am I. It's no fun running a starship all by yourself; the paper work would've killed me." Behind her Riker and LaForge chuckled good-naturedly and even Jean-Luc cracked a smile. Data just stared at her with inquisitive yellow eyes, not dissimilar from Troi's expression. The way the empathic counselor looked at her told her that Deanna knew precisely what was going on in her head.

"Will you stop by my office later today?" Deanna inquired neutrally.

In spite of Troi's easy-going attitude Crusher was well aware that a counseling session wasn't optional. Deanna would find away to talk to her. "Would it be okay if we talked now?" There was no point in putting it off, she figured. At least if she got this over with now, she could spend the rest of the day with Wesley.

The counselor looked up at her in surprise and squinted her black eyes ever so slightly. "Of course."

They made their way to Troi's office without exchanging a word. Beverly smiled politely at the various crewmembers they encountered and let her gaze occasionally drift to the counselor. Having arrived at their destination, Troi unlocked the office and proceeded inside, leaving her to follow. She couldn't stop herself from watching Deanna's feminine figure.

It was a bit strange to be in the office, the only times she came here was to pick Deanna up for lunch or work-outs. Their counseling sessions had, until now, always been set in their quarters or in one of the recreational area's of the ship.

The soft lighting reflected off several pastel colored paintings and a black and white sketch that hung above the desk. Large green plants were located in the corners and a vase full with flowers stood on the glass table in front of the long curved couch. The decorations set off nicely against the stark grey of the walls and created a room that was pleasant to the eye.

Beverly sat down sideways on the couch per Troi's unspoken suggestion and watched as the counselor sat down a few feet away, unbidden following the curve of her slender waist and hip outlined by the fitting bodice of the counselor's dress. The subtle scent of Deanna's perfume wafted through the air and Crusher inhaled it deeply, then caught herself. "I came to see you," she confessed, trying to cover up her embarrassment. "In the bubble I mean."

Black eyes regarded her solemnly for long seconds before asking a simple "why?"

"I thought I was going crazy." She shivered, the memories of the utter desolation she had felt still strong.

"Thinking that you're going crazy is often the first sign that you're not." Deanna replied with just a hint of amusement in her voice.

"That's what you said." Her smile turned into a sigh. "It was horrible. People just kept disappearing and nobody remembered them, like they had never existed to begin with."

"But you remembered them."

Deanna's gentle voice lulled her into a sense of safety for the first time since she'd escaped from the imploding warp bubble. Her eyes came to rest on the junction between Troi's neck and shoulder. "Yes, I did. Not that it did much good. Jean-Luc was supportive, and he believed me. But eventually even he thought I'd lost it. Just when I convinced him that I didn't need to confine myself to Sickbay he disappeared too."

It was hard to cope with the loss she felt, even though she knew that the real Jean-Luc had been, and was fine. It had been such a shock to have him disappear in the blink of an eye, especially after all the time she and Deanna had helped him to heal from his assimilation.

"I just couldn't understand it. Everyone disappeared into thin air. First Dalen, then random crewmembers and no one was any the wiser. Worf disappeared and none of you even realized he'd ever existed. Then Wesley," Beverly swallowed and tried to hold back her tears, "Data, Will, Geordi…you." She lifted her eyes briefly to meet Deanna's and let her body slump further into the couch. "Jean-Luc didn't even know who you were, and when he disappeared too the computer thought it was perfectly logical for me to run a galaxy class starship all by myself! I don't ever want to feel like that again." She finished on a whisper.

She caught her breath when Troi reached out and placed a comforting hand on her knee. Was it just her or was Deanna becoming more tactile lately? The warmth on the counselor's face and in her touch distracted her from her distraction. "The universe, no, the warp bubble," she corrected, "was closing in on me. I had to run to Engineering or…"

"Or you would have disappeared too." Troi finished softly.

"Yes. It was terrifying, I didn't want to forget, or be forgotten."

"How do you feel now, looking back on the experience?"

Shaking her head Beverly stood up, Troi's hand sliding off her knee made her skin tingle briefly. Ignoring the tingle she began to pace through the office, uncertain how to put her feelings into words. "Relieved, of course. I hugged Jean-Luc and Wesley in Engineering. I don't think either of them appreciated that much." When she paused to look at Deanna, she could tell by the twinkle in her black eyes that the counselor didn't agree. "Well, maybe Jean-Luc did, a little." She joked.

Troi wouldn't smile, or laugh and her blank expression unsettled Crusher a little. "How else are you feeling?"

"Frightened. I don't want that happening to me again." That earned her a smile.

"I can see why not. Anything else?"

Beverly shook her head. Of course Deanna would sense it. After another trip to the far wall and back, she let herself fall into the couch, not noticing how close to Troi she was until she'd made herself comfortable. With a heavy sigh she glanced up at the counselor and looked away again. "I'm angry." As she said the words she could feel the emotions rise. Embarrassed she tried to ignore them.

"Why?" She really hated those open questions and it wasn't often that her talks with Deanna resembled, however remotely, a counseling session. "Beverly." Her head shot up back to the counselor. The way her name fell off those lips…

"Yes I'm angry! I thought people I cared about were disappearing into oblivion. My son, my friends! I thought I was going insane and then it all turned out to…" Words escaped her. It had all turned out to be what? A nightmare?

"You invested strong emotions into people who you thought were your friends, only to find out that your real friends had been safe and sound all along. It wasn't just a nightmarish experience. You lived it, breathed it. Every part of you, every one of your senses told you it was real."

"But it wasn't," she completed. "I felt as if I'd been used as some kind of marionette, even though the universe was created entirely from my thoughts. I could have killed myself and I wouldn't have know it."

"But you didn't. You got out alive and we're all still here." Deanna's eyes shimmered with emotions. "You feel cheated because you felt all that pain for an illusion." Deanna leaned closer to her, so close that Beverly could clearly feel the warmth radiating from her. Ruby lips smiled gently at her, then pulled away. Troi stood up and she followed. "I'd like to talk to you again tomorrow."

"All right." Startled she held still when Deanna moved to hug her, then returned the embrace stiffly, too aware of the warm body that was pressed against her own. What the hell was happening to her?

"Go spend some time with Wesley," Troi coerced, "I bet there are a lot of things he wants to talk about with you." Beverly nodded and gingerly stepped out into the corridor, writing the flush she felt off to the after effects of her ordeal.

...tbc

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