Holding onto Forever 2

Chapter 4

"Matt I've been doing some calculations, and it's statistically impossible for me to have ended up here in the same place as you." Near said, as they ate breakfast together on a typical morning for them.

"Statistically improbable maybe. But obviously not impossible." Matt replied.

"Well that's what I'm saying. I don't believe this is a coincidence."

Matt scoffed.

"Why can't you let go of it Near? What else would it be other than a coincidence? A very lucky, very rare coincidence. Aren't you happy you ended up with me?"

"Of course I am! I just cant help analysing something like this. There's a reason I'm here. I just don't know what it is yet."

"sigh...Whatever."

Matt hated to admit it but he was starting to get annoyed with Near. He remained quiet for the rest of the meal. Near took notice of the change in Matt's attitude and it hurt him a little. It hurt Matt too, but he didn't understand why Near couldn't just leave well enough alone.

"I'm sorry Matt. I don't mean to make you cross with me." Near apologized with pleading eyes.

Matt nodded in acceptance of his apology. He knew he couldn't be annoyed for long, not after looking in those big blue eyes of his. He knew this wasn't the last he'd hear of this subject though.

Matt returned to work, and Near was left to his own devices. In the past couple of weeks he had started to do more work for Mr. James, gaining the man's trust.

"Can you paint kid?" He had asked Near once. Near was fairly sure he could handle the task of painting the toy robots. In fact he rather enjoyed placing the gentle, precise brush strokes of varying colours on the shiny metal toys. Each of the buttons, indicators and dials had a different colour. Mr. James was paying Near 3 chips per day, and while that was a sufficient sum, he didn't have work for Near every day. Near spent the rest of his free time calculating, researching. He had a new obsession. Riley, the sister station to Joa, occupied Near's head constantly. He wasn't sure what started it or why he was so fascinated with it, but he was determined to find out what it was all about.

"So what do they think is wrong with with Riley, why haven't we been able to communicate for all this time?"

"It seems like a problem with their transceiver, ether that or the aliens are blocking our signal. We just hope they're ok." Matt said.

Near continued to obsess over Riley. From what he had read it should be very similar where he lived now. It was approximately 500 miles away as well, meaning travel would be extremely difficult if they were to send someone over there to check in.

One night after he and Matt finished dinner, he started to wonder what was the outside like. What did the air smell like? What did the sky look like? He was a bit concerned because it wasn't like him to think so erratically. Jumping from one thing to another like a crazy person. He started to feel like he didn't have control of his mind anymore. He figured it might be the boredom. For nearly 5 years he worked under the most critical of circumstances, where his mind was always busy, always analysing. There's too much idle time here, he thought.

Near wandered the halls of the Ministry late one night, unable to sleep. Matt was still in bed, sound asleep. He happened upon the door to the lift. Curiously he pushed the call button and entered the doorway when it opened. Figuring there'd be no harm in looking around upstairs, maybe there'd be a window he can look out of. The door opened after the long ride to the top. Near stepped out into another hallway. This one was a bit darker. The walls were rough and jagged, and dim incandescent bulbs hung from the ceiling haphazardly.

No windows were to be found, just another doorway at the end of the hall.

Open the door

It wasn't so much a voice inside his head as it was an urge, like his subconscious talking to him, pressing him further. Near's hand wrapped around the door handle slowly. It wasn't locked, and started to turn as he pulled it down. The door unlatched with a "chink". He pushed the door open slowly, his anxiety level rising quickly, not knowing what he'd see on the other side.

The cool night air hit his nostrils. Near inhaled deeply, as his lungs got their taste of fresh air for the first time since he arrived. He closed his eyes, listening to the sound of the air whistling through the landscape. He took his first step carefully, the soil beneath him was hard, almost like concrete. The landscape was dimly illuminated by the eerie yellow glow of the two moons above him, but he wasn't comprehending everything around him, almost unable to take it all in as his mind was bombarded with unfamiliarity.

Near continued walking forward, driven by what could be described as instinct, that unknown urge again. He saw something in the distance, laying on the ground. It wasn't a rock, it was an animal of some sort. His heart was beating faster, not knowing what he was approaching, but he couldn't stop. As he drew closer, he spotted a human face in the object. He walked quicker and knelt down. It was a human child, probably about 3 years old, laying there unconscious at his feet. Panicked, Near picked him up, and cradled him in his arm. He looked unharmed, and he was breathing.

Near turned around to head back to the station. His heart nearly slammed to a halt as his face met another. The alien's leathery, greyish skin, beady golden eyes, and flat nose was about an inch from Near's face. The alien stood a bit taller than him, and was bending down slightly to meet him, an action that he found particularly terrifying. The alien made no noise, made no movements. It's expression was menacing, the thin line of it's mouth showing no emotion, no feeling. Near was frozen with fear, he could hear his heart pounding inside of his head. He stood there with the alien for about 10 seconds. Not sure if he should attempt to move, or speak. It just stared into Near's terrified blue eyes, as Near stared back into golden nothingness.

Leave me alone

The voice resounded through Near's head like he had heard it with his own ears. It was his own voice. The alien moved back slowly, never breaking his gaze with Near.

Leave

The alien skittered away quickly into the darkness. Near, not sure what he had just done, if he had even done it, started quaking with terror as he clutched the child to his chest. He was still too afraid to move from that spot.

The door to the station swing open.

"Near!" Matt called out, running out at full speed to him. "Near what the fuck are you doing out here?!"

Near's voice failed him. He shakily handed the child to Matt, who's eyes went wide.

"Olivia!" Matt called out. Olivia came running holding a blanket. She took the child from Matt's arms.

"What were you thinking Near?" She asked as she wrapped the child in the blanket and sprinted back to the station.

"C'mon lets get out of here." Matt said, taking Near's hand and pulling him towards the station.

They rode the lift back down to the Ministry. Near hadn't said a word the whole time. Matt was extremely concerned, looking at Near's expressionless face the whole time.

"I need to use the bathroom." Near said as he suddenly sprinted in the direction of the lavatory. He reached one of the toilets just in time as he vomited, nerves twisted into knots. Matt came in shortly afterwards, and knelt down next to Near, rubbing his back softly.

"C'mon, lets get some cold water on your face." Matt said, helping Near to his feet and leading him to the sink, where Near splashed cold water on his pale face.

"What happened? What's got you so upset?"

"I saw one of them. It was right in my face, staring right into me. I could feel it breathing."

"An alien? And it didn't attack you?"

"I told it to go away, and it did. It ran from me. I don't understand what's happening because I didn't actually say anything. It's like I spoke to it with my mind, and it seemed frightened by me for some reason."

"Why did you go out there Near? Seriously, what possessed you to do such a thing?" Matt said, his wracked nerves had him on the verge of tears.

"I don't know. I just wanted to."

Matt shook his head looking at the ground

"I'm going to check on the child you found. Why don't you head to bed?"

Near nodded, and left the bathroom to go back to Matt's quarters. Climbing into bed, he started to wonder why he did it. Normally afraid of everything, he would never thought of doing something like that before. He laid there, haunted by the cold visage of that alien, staring deep into his soul.

"So did he say why he went out there?" Olivia asked.

Matt shrugged his shoulders, the worry showing in his face.

"He said he didn't know, that he just wanted to. He's not normally like this. He doesn't' do things out of instinct. He always has a reason for his actions."

"Maybe this is just too much for him. I mean he seemed to be integrating well, but who knows what's going on deep down inside. Why don't we talk to him tomorrow? Let him get some sleep tonight, but maybe he needs us to help him."

"I just hope he's ok. I don't know what I'll do if I lose him." Matt said.

Near woke up the next morning to meet Matt for breakfast. When he got to the galley he found Olivia with him.

"How are you feeling?" She asked

"A little better. Still shaken up, but I think I'll be ok." Near asked, taking a sip of palapeo juice.

"Near, is everything ok with you?"

"I suppose. Why do you ask?"

"Because you're doing things that are extremely unlike yourself. You could've gotten killed last night."

Near stared down at this plate.

"I know I very easily could have been killed, but fortunately I wasn't. Somehow, I scared it off, with my thoughts," Matt and Olivia both looked at each other before looking back at Near. "I know it sounds crazy."

"Near you were lucky. You didn't mind-meld with the thing. You just got lucky, for whatever reason. Next time you might not be so lucky." Matt said.

"You know, when you think of this, all of this actually, it sounds like the delusions of a crazy person. Coming from one world with shinigami and notebooks that kill you, then making yourself bleed to death inside a hotel bathtub, when your soul floats to another world where we live underground, run from aliens and eat eggs the size of a footballs. Maybe I'm actually in an institution right now imagining all of this." Near was visibly getting angry, something that seemed both strange and scary to Matt. He was nearly shouting.

"Near look..." Matt was interrupted.

"No you look. I've already told you there's another reason I'm here. I'm happy I am. I love you more than anything in this universe Matt. But there was a .017 chance of me ending up here, and yet somehow I did. I don't believe in coincidences, not ones that great. I've been sent here, and I need to figure out why."

Near got up from the table without saying another word and left. Matt buried his face in his hands, and started to cry.

"He's going crazy Olivia. He's losing his mind. What do I do with him?" Matt said, his voice cracking. Olivia rubbed his shoulder, offering whatever comfort she can.

"Maybe we should talk to the doctor. Maybe he needs to be medicated."

"Noooo! I don't want that. I don't want him lying in the infirmary, drugged out of his head. I want him back, back the way I knew him! He was so sweet and warm. Now he's cold and distant, his mind always preoccupied. Fuck me man, this sucks."

"Lets keep an eye on him for a little while longer before we do anything." Olivia suggested. Both of them left the table and went back to work.

After leaving the both of them during breakfast, Near went back to Matt's room and sat on the floor playing with his robots, of which he had three now. He was confused and angry. Angry because everyone he cared about thought he was mad, and confused because he didn't know why he was feeling this way. He didn't know where the urges were coming from, but they were very real. A single thought entered his head. Riley. He knew that somehow the answer to all of this would be found there.

Near got up from the floor and went to the library. He started pouring through the books trying to find out anything he could about the sister station. Near wondered how they would get there, and more importantly how would he convince people that this is what he needed to do. Nevertheless he had to figure things out, and arm himself with as much information as possible.

Matt wandered the complex late that night, trying to find Near, who hadn't come to bed. He found him in the library, on the floor with a large map rolled out beneath him. He was thinking out loud, but it was for the most part an unintelligible whisper.. He was concentrating so hard on it that Matt had called his name twice before he noticed.

"Near! What are you doing?"

"Just passing the time. I didn't realize it was so late." Near said.

He didn't want to tell Matt what he was really doing. Matt was already worried enough, and he didn't want to add any more fuel to that fire. Matt was obviously somewhat unconvinced, as Near rolled the map back up and put some of the books away.

"I miss you. I miss Near." Matt said as he approached Near and gently stroked the side of his face.

"I'm still here Matt. I'm not losing my mind. I'm sure of it." Near responded by embracing Matt, wrapping his arms around Matt's torso. Matt rubbed his back gently as he stared off into the distance.

"Just don't do anymore crazy stuff without talking to me first."

"Fine. Hey do you want to take a shower? Together?" Near said as he pulled away from Matt's chest and looked up at him, smiling, hoping a little fun would ease Matt's mind a little.

"mmmm. You're a dirty boy Near, and I think I need to clean you." Matt said, causing Near to giggle.

They left together and went to the bathroom where the showers were. Nobody was up at this time of night, so they had the whole place to themselves. There was still the chance that someone would find them, and that for some reason made it all the more exciting for them. Matt loved every second of it, washing Near's hair, running his hands all over his soapy smooth body. Near was getting incredibly turned on, and begged Matt to screw him right there in the shower. Their moans echoed throughout the bathroom and even could be heard in the hallway. Nobody walked in on them fortunately.

Satisfied, they left the bathroom and went back to Matt's room. Both of their minds were somewhat at ease now, even though they both knew it wasn't over.

That night Near had a dream. He was walking around inside the underground station, although some things weren't quite the same. They were different somehow. He walked to their room, hopefully to find Matt, but the room wasn't there. Just a blank wall where the door normally would have been. He checked the ops-centre, but nobody was there. He decided to leave the ministry and look where the general population lived. Sprinting down the hallway, he reached the door, and froze in his tracks as he stared at the words on the door.

"Welcome to Riley station"

Near opened the door slowly and looked inside, nobody was wandering the great hall. It was completely silent. Near slowly walked down the hall, looking around curiously. He approached the door to the galley, and noticed something scrawled into the lower part of the wall right next to the door, approximately waist-height. Near knelt down to look closer.

"Olivia loves John"

Near wrinkled his nose in confusion as he pushed his way into the galley. A man was standing behind the counter wearing a chef's hat. Near approached him.

"One egg please." Near said.

"Your usual way sir?" The man replied.

"Yes please."

The man pulled the large yellow perlo egg out of the box and then cracked it over Near's head, the yellow yoke sliding down the bridge of his nose.

Near's eyes snapped open.

Olivia loves John. The words resounded in his head.

After verifying he was back in reality, in bed, snuggled next to Matt, he smiled to himself, anxious to see if this new information has any truth. That would be all the proof he needed.

The next morning Matt had gotten up for work before Near.

"Matt, when we have breakfast later, bring Olivia with you." Near said, his eyes still closed.

Matt was confused, concerned even. He wondered what Near's reasons were but decided not to say anything. When they had met at breakfast, Near, who was sitting across from the both of them, stopped eating for a moment and looked them both in the eye.

"I want to go to Riley." He plainly stated. Matt dropped his fork into the plate, staring back at him with his mouth agape.

"You can't be serious. Near what's the matter with you lately?"

"Matt I cant explain it, and I know it sounds strange for me to be saying this. I usually have more definitive reasons behind my actions, but there's something there that I need to find."

"What? What do you need to find?" Matt said.

"I don't know yet. I just know that I need to go there. It's hard to describe."

"Near, it's not that easy. You just cant set off to Riley. It's 500 miles away for one, and it's not safe. It's been years since anyone has tried to make that journey." Olivia said.

"I know that. That's something I'll need to figure out."

"Near, you're not going anywhere, even if I have to tie you up in my quarters. I'm not letting you go. This is getting sick Near." Matt said.

"Near, why don't we go and see the doctor? Maybe he can help you figure all of this out." Olivia said.

Near looked down at his plate, he knew this wasn't going to be easy. He decided that now was the time to test out the message in the 'vision' he had last night. He looked up at Olivia.

"Olivia loves John."

She froze in position, staring right back at him. Near could tell by the look in her face, that what he said rang true with her.

"Where did you hear that?"

"It's written on the wall next to the galley door in Riley. The lower half, to the right of the door to be exact. It looks like it was scratched into the surface, rather than painted on or with a marker."

Olivia deadpanned. Matt turned to her.

"Is that true? Near who told you that?" Matt asked.

"I saw it in a vision. And you know what else?" Near decided to take an even bigger chance, but this would really drive his point home. He thought back to his encounter with the alien. The cold, almost robotic eyes staring into his soul, and the short puffs of breath from it's nostrils on Near's lips. The fine hairs on Near's arms stood on end as he relived every moment of that experience, and then he spoke to them, the same way he spoke to that alien.

I can speak through your mind.

Both Matt and Olivia gasped as Near sat back in his seat and crossed his arms, a satisfied smirk on his face.

"How the bloody hell did you do that?" Matt asked.

"I don't know exactly, but it was basically the same thing I did to that alien."

"I can understand why it ran away scared. It wasn't like I was thinking about you talking, it was like someone invaded me. You overrode any thought I had going on at the moment." Matt said.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to be that harsh. Do you believe me now?" Near said.

Matt looked over at Olivia, who was silent, deep in thought.

"So how are we going to do this? Do you have a plan yet?" She said.

"We?"

"Yes, I'm going too, and I'm certain Matt will as well."

"There's no way I would let you do this alone.." Matt said.

Near once again, was afraid of putting Matt in a dangerous situation, but he wouldn't make that same mistake twice. He didn't argue.

"Well I've done a fair amount of research. For one we'll need a transport vehicle. I know they were widely in use before the attacks to transport mining crews from some of the far away northern areas. There's bound to be a couple of them laying around somewhere nearby. The route I'm still working on, but I think we should take the forest routes away from the cities, as the tree canopies will provide the most cover."

Olivia shook her head quickly, a delirious smile on her face.

"This is insane. Ok, Matt we should go back to the ops-centre, I'll ask around there if anyone knows of where a vehicle might be stashed."

Olivia got up from the table, but Matt stayed seated for a moment. He reached across the table and took Near's hands in his own and looked at him seriously.

"I'm trusting you Near. I have no idea what we're doing or what we'll find when we get there, but when I told you in our past lives that I would walk to the end of the earth with you, figuratively speaking of course, I meant it."

"Thanks Matt."

Matt got up from the table and left with Olivia. Energized with a newfound determination, Near set off to the library to figure out their plan.

Thanks for reading chapter 4. Things are starting to get a little sci-fi, which is fun for me since I'm a sci-fi nut. I hope you're enjoying it so far because some interesting things are going to happen. Oh and PLEASE leave me some reviews. I know you people are reading it. I can tell by the hit counter, but I need some feedback. For all I know I could be writing complete rubbish. Stay tuned for chapter 5.