A/N: Yeah, I have to end this. It's time to kill this infected disease I call a story. Hahaha.

I disclaim raps songs in general. I would not want to own them hahaha.

Chapter 7: Lose Yourself

A fog hovered eerily over the grass. Hermione, Ron, and Harry landed softly on the earth and composed themselves. In the background, Beast and the Harlot played loudly. Older Harry was seen next to Cedric. They were standing in front of a small island-sized maze made of nothing more than sky-high shrubbery.

Random Narrator: The trio ran frantically around, keeping up with Harry in the Maze of Doom. Fleur Delacour sunk in a random area of quicksand. Cedric lept over it like a faerie, knowing years of ballet class had paid off. Harry, on the other hand, used his ultra-mega magical powers to turn the quicksand into a quicksand-which and ate his way through. The trio simply walked through the remains of a giant sandwhich to follow young Harry.

Cedric and Younger Harry caught up with one another. They exchanged dirty glares and walked side-by-side down another pathway.

Young Harry stopped in his tracks. He said, "Ahead, the trophy is there. We can both take it because we've suddenly become bff's forever."

"Best friends forever . . . forever?" Cedric asked with a grin.

Young Harry nodded.

They skipped down the aisle of shrubbery and reached out there hands to the trophy.

The trio tried to stay hidden as they waited for the chance to approach the portkey.

"On three we'll both take it." Young Harry said.

Cedric blurted, "What if this is really a portkey and I'm on my way to my deathbed?"

"Nah. That's too farfetched to happen in a world of magic. Let's go."

They both counted slowly.

One . . .

Hermione, Ron, and Harry stood up.

Two . . .

They readied themselves to sprint.

Three . . .

The trio bolted towards the trophy. Instantly, Hermione, Ron, Harry, Cedric, and Younger Harry were pulled through a black vortex. They landed in a murky and morbid graveyard. Hermione, Ron, and Harry hid behind a bush and watched the younger boy-who-lived stand up with Cedric.

"Babalooga-gazoonga-oonga!" Peter Pettigrew pointed his wand at Cedric Diggory and screamed a random selection of gibberish.

A purple spark flew from Peter's wand at Cedric. In an instant, Cedric transformed into a green glob and squirmed on the ground.

"It's my new invention," Said Peter. "I call it Flubber!"

Younger Harry cried, "Why did you do that? Now he's dead."

"He was never important to me anyways," said a dark and raspy voice.

The voice came from a giant cauldron filled with steaming hot water. A figure moved almost zombie-like out of the cauldron.

"Holy shit!" Younger Harry screamed like a girl. "You're Lord Voldemort!"

Voldemort spoke, "Yes, I am. You have just interrupted me. I was taking a bath and here you are, waltzing in to see a man without his clothes."

Yes, Voldemort was naked.

The trio snickered behind the bush.

Younger Harry looked at the green blob on the ground. The ground absorbed it like a sponge. Peter Pettigrew laughed at the sight. Voldemort merely smirked.

"Now what?" Harry asked. "You're alive, so you don't need me."

Magically, Voldemort put a black robe on.

"You're wrong, Harry." He spoke maliciously, "I need you very much. Now that I have you here, I can battle you and win."

Behind the bush, the trio waited patiently to see what would happen. They really didn't care at this point because they were so tired from their bogus journey. As if in a dream, Dumbledore appeared from a white cloud of smoke next to them.

"Ahh!" Ron squealed. He asked, "Where'd you come from?"

Dumbledore spoke very seriously. "Listen," He started. "You did a terrible thing trying to think you could fix the past in order to save the future. And Ron, you did an unforgivable act by breaking the time-turner. You now have no choice but to follow my orders."

"What is it, Headmaster?" Hermione smiled and waited for an answer. Thank Merlin their Headmaster could save them from this disgusting mess.

"Well," He continued. "Ron has to battle Voldemort and win. Wait for younger Harry to be defeated, and jump in. By defeating him here with someone other than Harry, it will undo all wrong you've done on this time-trip. Do you want to know why it works like this?"

The trio nodded in unison.

Dumbledore tried not to laugh when he spoke. "Because by having Ron beat Voldemort, you're proving something that would never happen in real life."

"Hey . . ." Ron pouted.

Dumbledore disappeared through another white puff of smoke.

Younger Harry stood up straight and readied his wand. Voldemort readied his mouth.

"Here we go," Voldemort sharply spat.

Voldemort rapped to Kid Rock's Bawitdaba: Volde-de-mort de mort de mort Voldy Voldy Voldy said kill Harry said got to kill Harry, Volde-de-mort de mort de mort Voldy Voldy Voldy said kill Harry said got to kill Harry . . .

And this is for the wizards that have no wands yet. The bad wand-waving and misbehaving, they're all misheard, learn to cast a curse, they're soon to be my death eaters. The gory fights and the wish to cause pain. It don't even matter if you break a vein. All the werewolfs and creatures of dark, must join Voldemort if they are smart. All you bastards in the ministry, can fly their brooms into a tree. For the power levels are not fair. I'm going to strip them till you're bare. No way can you beat my curse of death, I keep on fighting til the last breath. And for my followers of today and forever, Voldemort's back - remember, Never say never!

Volde-de-mort de mort de mort Voldy Voldy Voldy said kill Harry said got to kill Harry

Younger Harry fell over, passed out from the goodness of Voldemort's rapping skills.

Ron stood up from behind the bush. The trio ran to Voldemort and stood proudly, ready to fight.

"What the hell?" Voldemort blurted. "What is this crap-on-a-stick?"

"I'm going to battle you." Ron said with confidence.

Ron suddenly had a grey hoodie on and baggy jeans. He pulled the hood up and covered his hair. With arms crossed, Ron was ready to show the world that he was useful for something: Red-headed white-boy rap.

After taking a deep breath, Ron began to rap. Hermione and Harry provided beats behind him. Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity to show everyone you ever met-one last spell- would you conjure it or let your wand slip?

My palms are sweaty, wands broke, hair's all greasy. There's vomit from the slugs already, no remedy. I'm nervous, but I won't let down my poor family.

I cast spells, but I keep on forgettin' what I came for, the same war as before. I open the car door, Dad's little Chevy whore. He's angry, everyone is mad at me. The time's come to be free, free!

Snap back to reality, oh there goes Ron Weasley, oh he's just a measley bloke. He's so dumb but he won't give up that easy, no. he's not Neville, that joke of a wizard, you know. It's a crime to be slow, back to the Ron show, I'm so brave and I know when it's back to my lousy home, that's when it's . . .

Back to discarding of gnomes, yeah this whole thing had better been for a good reason and hope it don't fire back.

You better lose yourself in the magic, the spell-cast, you own it, you'll never let that wand go. you only get one shot, don't miss your chance to rule, this opportunity don't come in Hogwarts School.

The music stopped. Hermione and Harry were shocked.

"That was the worst rap I've ever heard," Voldemort said.

And then he keeled over from the suckiness of the rap.

A silence broke into the atmosphere. Peter Pettigrew glanced around in a panic. He darted away before anyone remembered his presence.

"This means we can go home, right?" Hermione asked to the clouds. She half-expected Dumbledore to answer her from nowhere logical.

A blue void next to a tilted gravestone appeared. Hermione smiled. Her, Harry, and Ron held hands and stepped through the void. A threatening wind surrounded them and caused them to lose hearing. A flash of bright neon green also surrounded them, and blinded them.

The travel seemed longer than normal, but the trio soon fell in front of Dumbledore's office.

"Was that it?" Ron asked.

They could hear and see once more.

Hermione said, "I guess so."

"That was it." Said Albus Dumbledore, who stepped out of his office. "You are home again. Miss Granger, may I please have that time-turner so i can fix it?"

She handed it over without complaint. Hermione had enough trouble for one day.

"Headmaster," Ron called. "Why did I have to rap again?"

"You had to rap, Ronald," Dumbledore replied. "because I wanted to hear you make an idiot of yourself. you don't really think singing could save you from the time-disaster you buried yourselves in. I wanted you all to learn a valuable lesson."

Harry blurted, "I learned somethimg. Never to mess with time."

"Yes," Albus nodded.

Hermione spoke next. "I learned that if I must use the time-turner, only use it when in dire need."

A big grin formed on Albus' aging face.

Finally, Ron answered. "I learned something valuable too. Never give Snape a corset."

Random Narrator: And so . . . the trio laughed their way from Dumbledore's office to the Gryffindor Tower. Their journey was a crazy one, but it was pretty damned fun. Hermione learned to be more careful, Harry learned to stay away from trouble, and Ron leanred to stay in touch with his feminine side. All was good in tha' hood.

"What the bloody hell?" Ron yelled. "The Narrator is still here!"

"I don't hear anything." Said Harry.

Hermione added, "Me either."

Ron grunted.

Random Narrator: As I said, the trio was happy that they were home. And oh what a home it was.

"What does that even mean?" Ron yelled at the ceiling.

Random Narrator: The end. . . dumbass.