Zack and Sephiroth…..M.D…….!
Disclaimer: Square Enix owns the characters, I just play with them. I don't own E.R., either, but they get an honorable mention.
Warning: Language, some gross medical stuff as they get "edumacated".
AN: What if Zack had been able to save his General from falling off the deep end at Nibelheim? The great war with Wutai was over, so now what? The powers that be decide these two merit a special education…off to Shinra Medical School!
Chapter 3 - First Day
"Holy living fuck, Seph! You are smoking hot in that white coat! Are you sure you haven't reconsidered your orientation?" Zack whistled in admiration.
"Shut up, Fair." Sephiroth muttered. He was visibly uncomfortable, picking at his new, starchy, itchy white coat. He was also wearing dress pants and a shirt and tie; his usual black leather outfit, bare chest and long sword were considered "unprofessional attire" by the Faculty.
"You know I'd turn gay for you, Sephy." Zack snickered. "Are you gonna let your chest hair grow back now, or did you ever have any?" Zack nudged his friend painfully in the ribs.
"Shut up, Fair!"
"Shhhhh…..the ceremony is about to start!"
All seventy-five newly-minted medical students waited patiently for the Dean to make his speech. Proud parents and family members looked on with tissues. The Dean began his address. It consisted of "Congratulations!", and ended with "We're going to make doctors out of you." Sephiroth sat immobile, inwardly seething, maintaining his best totem pole impression. Zack looked bored to tears, and was already eyeing the refreshments table.
"Hey, Seph – do you think your crazy-ass, bat-shit of a mother would've wanted to be here? It's a pretty big day, after all. I was just asking, 'cause there's some weird snake-on-a-stick statue over there." Zack had pointed out the Staff of Aesculapius, the revered symbol of the medical profession for generations.
Sephiroth's upper lip curled into a snarl, but he refused to answer.
"You know I'm proud of you, Seph. I even got us 'I'm Going to be a DOCTOR!' t-shirts. We'll hit some tail for sure." The man was unflappable.
There was a flurry of camera flashes as the entire matriculating class rose from their seats. Zack pressed a piece of paper in to Sephiroth's hands.
"It's the Oath. You know, the one doctors are supposed to take, something about hippos…."
Sephiroth glanced at the writing. "The Hippocratic Oath." He had never heard of it, and yet, he was supposed to abide by it for the rest of his career. The Dean began, with all of his classmates eagerly chanting along. Sephiroth doubted they had any idea what they were getting in to. He mumbled the words under his breath. Beside him, Zack was attempting some sort of interpretive dance, rhyming the words off-key in an annoying sing-song.
After being seated, the Dean spoke once more. "On behalf of the Faculty, I wish to welcome you to your chosen profession. You have joined the ranks of the most brilliant minds this generation has produced. Physicians make many sacrifices – the journey is long, and arduous. All of you will succeed, if you abide by one rule." His voice dropped in pitch for emphasis.
Sephiroth narrowed his eyes. Zack continued to hum, oblivious.
"Do no harm."
"WHAT!!?" The Silver General leaped from his chair. Luckily, the roar of applause drowned out the rush of expletives that followed. Zack tackled him to the ground, and with difficulty, succeeded in settling him back in to his seat. He could barely contain the furious General. Several new classmates shot irritated looks their way.
"Relax Seph. Doctors kill people all the time! Ever watch E.R.? They've probably sent more people to the morgue than you have."
Sephiroth glowered, wishing he had his materia so he could annihilate the entire procession hall. Unfortunately, the Shinra Corporation had confiscated everything in the name of "patient safety".
Ever the opportunist, Zack piped up again.
"Hey, let's go get something to drink. I bet they have sake-bombs!"
AN: And so the journey continues. SOLDIER training must be brutal, but how will these two stand up against a hoard of stinking cadavers in the anatomy lab? Will Sephiroth ever be able to get the smell out of his hair, or will he be forever destined to sit by himself in a crowd? Stay tuned...always open to suggestions!