Chapter 8: The Turning of the Tide

Edward's Point of View

I did not know how long it had been since the Volturi had last come to us. But now the door was slowly opening, and Felix came strutting inside, snarling darkly at Jasper.

'Get back, Scars. Aro reminded us that you were probably overdue for a feeding.'

Felix held the door open wide as an annoyed looking Heidi pushed a small herd of sheep into our dark cell. She pulled her upper lip back in distaste. 'Its disgusting how you all feed. Depriving yourselves of the finer things in life.'

She threw one last revolted glance at us and quickly bolted from the room, calling Felix to follow.

Jasper sighed. Why do they insist on feeding us in such a demeaning manner? His military background quickly kicked in and he answered his own question. To dehumanize us, of course. Or rather, devampirize is a better word. At least it's not the usual pigs or chickens this time, eh Edward?

I stepped out of the shadows and humored Jasper with a tight smile.

He made a chopping motion in the air, cutting midway down the small, ragged herd of sheep. 'My half, your half?'

I nodded and he immediately went to it. I knew he had been starving, the Volturi did not feed us nearly as often as we needed.

Jasper was almost all the way through his half when suddenly my breath caught in my throat. Previously hidden by his mother, a tiny lamb bleated in fear as he became exposed to the cold, drafty cell. It was as if Jasper reached for the lamb in slow motion.

Without even realizing what I was doing, I snarled and launched myself across the cell, crouching defensively in front of the terrified animal. Jasper withdrew, bewildered at my sudden ferocity. All right man, you can have that one. Its ok, I'll take one of yours.

I shook my head, finding myself astounded at my own actions. Then I remembered.

There had been a bright, sun filled meadow. I had sat closer to Bella than I had ever before dared. I had spoken…And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.

I sequestered the lamb from the other sheep and then quickly finished my half off. I returned to the frightened lamb and sat next to it. Jasper looked between me and the lamb, his forehead furrowed in confusion. 'Are you saving that for a late night snack?'

I growled warningly at him. 'Drop it.' He shrugged and began to casually check the dead sheep, making sure he had not missed any blood.

I leaned my head back against the stone wall, letting my eyes fall closed as I remembered more of mine and Bella's earlier, happier times together.

I came back to the present with a shock. The lamb had laid his head in my lap and snuggled up against me. What a stupid lamb. He must not yet have developed the instincts to recognize that I was dangerous.

I ignored Jasper's laughter and placed my hand gently on the lamb's side. I softly stroked his fur. What a sick, masochistic lion.

I sighed. How had everything gone so utterly wrong? I had fought the battle with the monster that lived within me, and I had won. I had always tried to shield Bella from everything in the world that was evil and wrong.

But I had failed miserably. She was now forced to work for Aro and live among the Volturi. I hung my head, shame pressing down against me.

Nothing would hold her here if I did not exist. Why did my very existence have to cause her so much pain? Only misery and never ending pain.

Jasper's earlier thought wormed its way into my head. She loves you still, Edward. I frowned.

How could anyone love one such as I, who caused nothing but pain?

I remembered back to the start of our relationship. How we had always argued the point of who cared more about the other. My frown deepened. She had always been so sure that it was her own love for me that was stronger than mine for her. I had always dismissed her words as ludicrous.

If only I had been strong enough to stay away. But that memory of Bella the night she lost herself in the woods after I had left her…She had been utterly broken by my clean break.

I continued to stroke the now sleeping lamb's soft fur as my mind became torn. I knew that if Bella could hear my thoughts right now she would be horrified that I was seeing us in such a way.

She would insist that I was the best thing in the world for her, and that she loved me more than I could ever possibly know.

I sighed sadly. If only I could have a few seconds inside her head, just to be certain of her love for me. To make sure that she did not regret any of the choices she had made.

The lamb bleated softly in his sleep and I gazed down at him, concerned. It was probably too cold in here, and I most assuredly was not helping that fact. I gently lifted the lamb's head from my lap and situated him next to me.

Less than a minute later the lamb's head was back in my lap and he was cuddled ever closer. I rolled my eyes. Why were defenseless, beautiful and breakable creatures so drawn to me?

I went back to my former thoughts, retreating into my self imposed loathing. But ever since the lamb had returned, a new thought had begun nagging at me.

I tried to shut it out, but it refused to be silenced. It sounded a lot like Bella's voice. Don't you trust me, Edward?

I scowled. Of course I trusted her. I'd trusted her enough to tell her my families' secret when I'd barely known her.

Again, Bella's voice lectured me. Then don't you dare doubt my love for you, Edward Cullen. My shoulders slumped and the lamb nudged my hand.

It wasn't really her I doubted, it was myself. I knew the monster that lived inside of me. I had unleashed him many years ago. I had let him control my actions, allowed him to give me a god complex. A creature as pure as Bella could not have been meant for one stained such as I.

I could almost see Bella's eyes flash angrily. Never a monster, Edward. No, never that. You're my guardian angel.

Again, I winced. An angel of death, perhaps. And there was Bella's voice again in my head. Trust me, Edward. I love you.

With my perfect memory, I could remember each and every time Bella had ever told me she loved me. I lowered my head. If I could, I would have wept.

Jasper's Point of View

Ever since Edward had stopped me from killing the lamb, I had felt his inner torment escalate. This was not the same kind of torment that I had grown so used to feeling from him. It was…like he was warring with two different parts of himself. I silently cheered for Bella's Edward.

Time was hard to mark, locked away from all outside influences as we were. But for the longest time, I experienced the emotions which now spilled out from his body.

I did not use my power to help him. This was something he had to do on his own.

Just because I was not going to use my power to influence his critical decision did not mean that I couldn't root for him. When it gets dark enough Edward, you can see the stars, I thought.

I jumped when he actually answered my silent musing. 'That's a beautiful, encouraging expression Jasper.'

I grinned, finally allowing myself to look at him. 'It was in a fortune cookie.'

Edward laughed. I cautiously sampled his mood and squeezed my eyes shut tight.

'Yes!' I hissed. 'Welcome back, my brother.'