A/N: yeah so I know you all probably hate me but I have decided to update… o.O I have no excuse for not updating in the last year, only I can say is that I have been lazy and I have been stuck at school… which won't let me access how lame is that? I come home on the weekends but I always work and hang out… so I thought since this weekend I have nothing to do I would decide to update and…I am so here it goes!!!

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

The Truth

"Seeshoumar…u?" Rin said quietly as she turned in bed. She gently stretched laughing slightly as her hand smacked the person lying next to her. "Sesshoumaru are you awake?" She gently turned on her side to see him looking towards the window.

"Hnn…"

"Are you hungry? Do you have a headache?"

"No…" She heard him sigh.

"I didn't even realized I had fallen asleep…I guess that's what stress does to you right?" She said trying to make light conversation and ease the tension last night.

"I'm fine, Alcohol doesn't affect me…" He said plainly.

"Sesshoumaru you don't have to act like nothing happened." Rin said while sitting up and brushing his angelic like hair from his face. "It's ok, like I said I'm sorry I over reacted to what happened the other day I just wasn't ready."

"Leave me…" He said coldly while getting up and walking towards the balcony doors.

Rin paused from what she was about to say, when she felt a slight sting in her chest. Lifting her hand up slightly she went to reach for him before he could get out of reach but to no avail.

"Why are you acting like this?" She said in a low voice getting up to follow him.

"Leave…" He said with a slight growl before she could take another step.

"No…" She felt unwanted tears began to build. Rin couldn't understand how he had changed from two days ago to this man right here.

"Please…Rin just leave me, before I hurt you…again" He said the last part quietly

"Sesshoumaru I don't like how your acting, quit acting like this, I didn't mean what I did the other day it was just so unexpected that I was unsure of what to do. You can't just kiss someone like that and expect them to…well it wasn't really your fault I'm to blame to, but don't be angry at me for this. I don't want to go! I want to be with you…" Rin paused shocked at what she just said 'Dang it there goes that part of me that I don't understand all that well.' Rin began to walk over toward Sesshoumaru wrapping her arms around his waist.

"I don't want to hurt you and I have already done that…too many times to count." Sesshoumaru said while grabbing one of her hands and bringing to his lips. Rin watched as he gently laid a kiss on her hand and then fingers.

"I don't care if this sounds crazy to you, but if you are counting those dreams, those were not me so in reality you have only hurt me once, and it wasn't even your fault because I let it go on I let this little disguise…game go on."

"Just go!!!" He said pushing her away from himself. "You don't understand"

"I can't understand because you'll never let me understand!" Ren pleaded with him. "I'm not as crazy as I sound right, those dreams must be linked to something and you know about them… that's why you keep acting so strange." Rin breathed in as something hit her.

"Those marks on your cheeks at the dance…they…they remind of my dream, that whole outfit reminded me of my dream…there is something going on!" She said going back over to him and grabbing his arm only to feel her self being pushed down on to the bed.

"There is nothing going on besides the fact that I have hurt you far to many time from this Sesshoumaru to be forgiven." He said breathing into her neck. "You may think you have pieced together some little story your mind has made up, but this story is far more complexed than your fragile mind could put together. So you want to know the truth Rin!!" He said while wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her up into a death grip hug.

"I LOST YOU…so many time…" He said the last part quietly while shaking his head and burying it into her neck. "You don't understand how greedy I really am, you really don't understand anything about me…"

"Then let me understand, because my mind, soul and body are so confused they feel like I have been betrayed and it won't let you in until I know the truth." Rin said while pulling his face from her neck and looking into his eyes.

"I'm am not the man, you think I am…" He was then cut off.

"I already know that, just explain to me, I don't care if it sounds far fetched." She said trying to calm him by giving him a slight kiss on the lips only to feel him bring one hand to her face and gently pull away the hair from her face and tuck it behind her ears, his final resting place at her neck.

She sighed into the continuing kiss, somehow her mind wasn't telling her to pull away, maybe it was the fact that finally he was going to explain everything or that after last night her heart felt content. She didn't know and for now she really didn't care at the moment. She whimpered a littler as she felt him pull away and gently lay her back down on the bed. Her hands instantly shot up and grabbed around his neck stopping him from letting her down all the way.

Knowing her self she wasn't going to let go she felt him then sit on the bed and lean against the head of the bed with her tucked in his lap.

"So you want to know every crazy insane thing about my life, for which the reason I do not deserve you. To learn why this Sesshoumaru is greedy beyond all doubt." He said while brushing her hair and gently resting his chin on the top of her head.

"Hnn…"Rin said while nodding her head.

"This Sesshoumaru has hurt you far more times that I can count, even if most of those were unintentional." He said while grabbing her hand. "Lately I was beginning to fear you would put it together, but then I finally realized that all the other times I let you put it together it ended in disaster…" He breathed deeply.

"All the…" She felt his fingers touch her lips to quiet her

"I'm am not going to lie to you I am in fact several years older than you could possibly imagine and I am a demon…those marks that you saw were in truth real. "He brought his hand up to his face and scrapped his nail against his face to reveal red underneath his concealer. He heard Rin gasp.

"Are you afraid yet?" He watched waiting for any movement and listened for any sound. "Rin." He said startling her form her thought.

"Yes?"

"Are you afraid?" He questioned once more.

"Actually, I'm a little in doubt but slightly curious about your age." She gained a chuckle from Sesshoumaru.

"I am over 1000 years old." He said earning a holy shit from Rin followed by a reddening of the cheeks at her comment. "Would you like me to continue?" She nodded.

"I met you about 500 years ago, not technically you but your former self, as you know you are one of her reincarnations. Then you were only a mere child I had revived you from my sword my father had given me…you had been attacked by wolves…" He said pausing when he saw the horror on her face.

"Then it was merely to test the ability of the sword… I never thought that you would follow me and become my ward." He sighed. "I never thought that I would fall in love with a weak human…" He earned a glare from Rin. "Remember Rin I am explaining to you how I had felt back than. I still think most humans are weak but you my Rin are the strongest of them all to with stand many generations of having to deal with this Sesshoumaru.

"There are so many memories that I wish you could remember but since you are only a reincarnation you will never remember them all. The only reason I know that you area my Rin or how I can tell who is my Rin is by knowing that you have dreamed a memory. There have been many people who have looked like you never once have they had the same name, and only 3 or 4 of them have a dream of her past those are the reincarnations. You are the first to hold the name and have several dreams compared to just one."

"Does this make me special?"

"It does in deed, it proves to me that you have more of my Rin in you than all the other past reincarnations.

"Maybe this Rin realizes that Sesshoumaru has matured finally and is ready to accept me than cast me away with a, I hate you, and would rather kill you than ever love you." She said seeing a look of hurt in his eyes.

"It was so long ago I do admit I was very immature, this Sesshoumaru believed he knew everything and that no one could tell him differently, even the one woman who succeeded in melting his ice cold heart. It scared him and this Sesshoumaru did not know how to cope with this new feeling. So I sent you away to the race I despised the most. "He gripped the her thigh slightly.

"You don't understand how much it took me to resist from snapping that Takeshi's little neck every time he tried to woo you or when he finally got you to agree to be his wife, oh how my inner demon called out that you were mine and mine alone. I could feel the blood pulse through my veins the night of your wedding night…when he took you. I had to run far away where I couldn't feel like I was going to burn the whole town down for letting him take you, take what belong to me."

"I can see why you were so greedy…" She giggled slightly while running her hand against his check feeling slight pressure from him pushing his face into her hand.

"After that my mind began playing tricks on me, telling me your weren't marked and that I could still take you back, I could still make you my mate the lady of the western lands and I contemplated on whether I should go and get you and rather than living with this pain that hurt more than I toughest battles I fought that left me almost completely dead, the great pain I have ever felt before in my entire lifespan." He looked away. "Then I could smell it, and I could hear you laugher and joy from finding out." He looked down at his open hands. "You were with pup…and there was nothing I could do now…the pup was your bond between you and that man…it was no bond that my love could break. If I were to force it, my bonding to you would have killed the baby. I knew you could never forgive me for that, so I left you alone."

Rin cringed remembering the next part of the dream. "You don't have to continue I understand now."

"No you have to know." He sighed once again. "It came to the day of your daughters birth, I was telling myself that after you had the child that I would leave forever… I told myself that you would be stable and not need me any longer. But then I felt my heart jolt at your cries of pain. I want to go and comfort you, but you hadn't seen me in 3 years, you acted as if you forgotten all about me. I remember coming towards the window and looking in and at that moment I heard you quietly say Sama and I knew that could only be me.

"I remember…" Rin said, beginning to remember more than the dream. I would cry myself to sleep at night…but during the day I would act as if only those round me mattered…"

"Then you died…and I felt my eyes turn red and rage build up… I felt like my beliefs of life were always true…how weak humans could never be as good as demons…because they couldn't keep you alive through a simple birth. So I jumped through the window and picked you up. Then it hit me when Ayaka kept telling me it was my fault. That it wasn't the birth that caused your death…but"

"My already weak broken heart…" She began to cry a little. "Don't blame yourself…" She said while grabbing his face between her hands and giving him a quick kiss. "It's both our faults for being stubborn. "I know if my former self wasn't so stubborn, if she would of pushed it and shove past your stubborn self we could have made it. You wouldn't have to have suffered all this time."

"I took you to your favorite place…I'm sorry Rin" He said while grabbing Rin's hand and kissed it. "I am so sorry for hurting you, This Sesshoumaru will keep his promise, before I ever hurt again I will let myself die…rather than let you go through the pain you did. "He than hugged her close while running his hands through her hair. "I Love you so much…I don't care if you feel the same way but I vowed to find you one day…live till I could find and tell you the truth and now I have, I can finally die in peace.

"You can't die!!" Rin said thinking he literally meant now.

"Not now silly…but I mean with you or by your side even if it is only as a friend…" Rin gasped as she saw him cry for the second time while knowing him.

"Sshhh…don't worry I won't leave you…and I'm sure my heart aches for yours as much as yours does for mine." She said while getting off his lap and pulling him to lay down right beside her.

"I really through that my promise to you would never be fulfilled because I didn't really think much of chance reincarnations until I took your daughter and raised her. I knew that you would be with me one day because your daughter, our daughter, if only because I raised her…she looked exactly like you nothing like that weak human Takeshi…" She said slowly closing his eyes.

For the next few hours they lay there, Rin running her hand through the broken down prince hair till eventually he fell asleep.

Rin lay there trying to decipher everything that had happened. She was in so much shock, one for knowing in her heart that she believes this story and that she wasn't running away from him. Secondly for seeing him cry again and thirdly for knowing that she really did love him and all along the only things that kept that uncertainty was not knowing if he really loved her himself.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

A/N: I can't believe I actually updated lol. Sorry about the long wait I really do plan to update in the next week again.