Warning: Nameless is not responsible for undone homework/chores that you ignored while reading this story.

Hell for Knowledge

Chapter Two: More Opinions!

The day after the contract was signed……….

Mark was lying on the cold, but surprisingly soft, dirt. He still had his brown cloak on along with a blanket, outside of Serra's tent. Now Serra apparently wanted her vassals close but not to close, namely not inside of her tent. Now Mark didn't mind not being forced to sleep inside Serra's tent. For one the endless chatter about Mark and Serra being in the same tent together alone for an entire night would be pretty bad. But he almost would have preferred that to being forced to sleep on the ground.

He grudgingly accepted this, as termination of said vassal ship would lead to Mark not getting the book he wanted, no required to continue is existence. Although Mark normally thought about things rather deeply he didn't on this matter. He needed book. To get book he must go through vassal ship to Serra. Thus no matter what occurs it will not matter as long as he acquires said book. To him it was simple.

Now he had endured sleeping on the ground before so it had just taken a little getting used to. He had slept and gotten rest. Not the best rest of his life mind you but still some. Mark was also an early riser, which was good because he knew Serra to be one as well from Erk's complaints about her screaming 'Erky!!!" at five in the mourning.

Mark stirred himself from under the sheet and did his regular "run hand through hair and claim it is combed" routine. He was overly excited for someone who had a month with Serra to look forward to. Mark didn't see it that way. I mean how bad could it be? Lifting things wouldn't be that hard, sure he sucked at physical activities but he would live. Carry stuff she buys and other odd things. Poor Mark had no real idea about what Serra intended to have him do….

Unknown by the armies' tactician, Serra had in fact been so overjoyed about her new vassal that she stayed up late and woke up even earlier that she usually did. She was debating what Mark's first act as her official vassal would be. After all his first order that he got from someone as graceful and wonderful as she must leave an impression on him. After all her vassal must also learn things from her, so that became more efficient and better serve her in the future. After all she couldn't allow her vassal to be dumb or talentless. That's why she always tried to get Erk or Matthew to be her vassal instead of Bartre. A stupid vassal could lift things but not think about how better to serve her. It made perfect sense.

Then it hit her. She would teach him something that she knew that he could never know how to do and probably would never be able to do without being taught by her. That way Mark would gain another talent and thus be better able to serve her as well as become a more valuable vassal. She grabbed a small bottle and walked outside where she had ordered him to sleep.

Mark had just finished his mutilation of his hair style as Serra walked out. She gave his hair a look before making another mental note on things to teach her vassal, who appeared to be far more hapless then she previously thought him to be.

"I have some work to do before he is fit to be a vassal to someone as wonderful as myself…" Serra thought to herself.

Mark turned around upon hearing the tent flap open and the sound of Serra's light footsteps. Mark briefly thought it odd that such a frail looking person would be so feared by powerful mages (Erk), stealthy spies (Matthew) and large axe wielding men (Hector). Remembering that he was suppose to be her vassal he bowed and said

"Hello Serra"

Serra smacked him on the head with her staff. The sound of glass hitting skull was heard. Mark gave a yelp which reminded Serra of a sort of dog. Undeterred by the sound she gave him her trade mark pout look and reminded him

"That's Miss Serra to you! Or you can call me Master….or mistress….or oh beautiful one…. Or kind and loving graceful lady….or perhaps….."

Serra was off and their was no bringing her back to Earth…err I mean Elbe. Mark could only be grateful for this brief lull after the bashing of his skull which allowed him to rub it, which further caused his brown hair to look even worse. Mark cared little about appearances though. Thinking it best to correct his mistake before Serra was shaken out of her little world and decided to bash his skull in again.

"Yes Lady Serra, I'm sorry Lady Serra."

Serra was shaken out of her world and was brought back to reality.

"Mark I have my first job to assign you!" Serra stated, ignoring his apology completely.

Mark was simply happy about not being smacked again and followed Serra's lead into her tent. Serra sat on a small mat and seemed barely able to hold back her glee.

"Now Mark you are most likely a completely worthless vassal at this point." She said, a little too frankly. Mark was clearly annoyed but Serra either did not notice or chose to ignore him. "But as I am very charitable and kind I have chosen to teach you how to be better at basic little things I need to be able to do." Serra clearly thought that Mark should have been over taken by her kindness. Mark clear struggled to keep his expression straight. He wasn't used to being called useless.

"And what skill would that be?" he said, still trying to sound unannoyed.

Serra held out a small bottle filled with pink liquid.

"You want me to be able to create poisons?'

Mark was smacked on the head by Serra's staff for the second time in five minutes, this time in his forehead. Mark silently cursed allowing her to buy the extra durable staff. Serra decided to wait for Mark to regain his attention before continuing. Once Mark was done holding his forehead she began to talk again.

"This is nail polish, Mark. I expect you to be able to apply it well as I have already done the nail buffering step for you… in guess I shouldn't have but one step at a time I guess as you are rather slow…" Mark was now biting on his tongue "So get to it!"

Serra tossed Mark the bottle. Poor Mark had absolutely no experience with anything remotely close to such beautification things…. Heck he had almost no experience with anything to do with women at all, unless ordering them to go around and slice people in two counted.

Stilled Mark though highly of himself and believed that such an activity should be rather easy. After all he was only putting some colored pigment on a ten finger nails, how hard could it be? He did all ten fingernails in near record time and in the process got some of it on Serra's pastel skin. Mark then put the cap back on the bottle and smirked in triumph. Serra hadn't really been paying any attention to Mark's activities as she was idly playing with her hair, examining and twirling it. As Mark placed the cap back on the bottle she decided to look at her nails.

"Done already? Lets see how y-" She stopped midsentence. Their was pink polish, not just on her nails but also on her fingers. In addition the polish on her nails was applied in conflicting ways, some strokes where horizontal, others where more vertical and still others where diagonal.

"Marrrkk…do you believe this job is acceptable?" she said in a low and dangerous voice. Apparently Mark failed to pick up on this. He said the worst thing possible in this situation.

"Yup"

Serra brought her staff over her head. Mark fell backwards and attempted to raise his arms over his head. But Serra didn't bring the staff down as she had done before. Instead she lowered it slightly. Her face went into that of thought. Mark looked up in confusion.

"I guess this is my fault…." Serra sighed… "I didn't show you what to do before hand…"

Mark now was extremely glad as for one he was not going to be smacked again. And two it appeared that Serra was far more negotiable then Matthew thought her to be. The way things where going the book would be his in no time!

Then Serra's arm reached out and grasped Mark's hand. She pulled him forward, which result on him smacking down on the ground.

"I must now demonstrate the correct technique!" She began to buffer a nail on Mark's hand, despite his protests. As he trashed around more and more like a fish out of water Serra became further annoyed.

"Stop your trashing, how else can I teach you!" Serra squealed as she used her free army to repeatedly smash Mark's head.

"I GAH do GAH not GAH want GAH pink GAH finger GAH nails GAH!" Mark yelled as Serra brought the staff of doom on his head repeatedly. Refusing to give up on her 'teaching' the technique of nail polishing Serra tried harder to prevent Mark's protest. Soon Mark's view of the world became distorted and blurry. He attempted to reason with her, while still having his world distorted from repeated head smashing.

"You only have to do one not 20 of my fingers for me to gettttt itttt erghhhh" he said as he lost consciousness.

"Oh great, now he can't observe it in action!" However soon Serra had a new idea. Once Mark woke up she would have to tell him where he went wrong…. But she then had another idea. Why just have one opinion? Why not have more? She would get more women to see and compare her and Mark's fingernails! It was brilliant!

It wasn't that Lyn didn't love Rath. There was just one problem in their relationship. Rath either refused to laugh, or just simply didn't know how to. Either way it was starting to seriously annoy her. What's more is that her efforts to teach/make Rath laugh where all failing abysmally.

"GAGA GAG COUGH GAG" was pretty much as far as Lyn had gotten. Poor Rath was trying the best he could, but he had only managed to cough while smiling.

Mark awoke to a rather odd feeling. It kind of felt nice at first, like a back massage. Or it was until a rather sharp rock was included in said massage.

Mark gave an odd yelp and then registered that he was being dragged. He opened his eyes to see Serra's white cleric robes. Serra was dragging him…how predictable. Before he had a chance to question Serra he was thrust in the air. Serra had obviously intended him to land on his feet, which didn't really work out as he landed on his back (on yet another rock to Mark's disappointment, he can't even be thrown in a soft area).

Serra on the other hand was rather pleased, as seen had just spotted Lyn. She skipped over to her, completely ignoring her vassal's groans of pain.

"Lynnnnn" Serra squealed, kind of like a small child squealing for a mother. Now Lyn wasn't terrified of Serra like a lot of people in the army, at times she found her annoying but in her opinion Hector was far more of a bother.

However as Lyn turned around Serra began to skip to the right, and sure enough Lyn saw about a meter or so to her left was Mark, laying face down. Serra grabbed on to both of Mark's arms and proceeded to drag him towards Lyn.

"Lyn I need your help!"

"Torturing our tactician?"

"No, well at least not right now. I mean in the future maybe…"

The green haired lord gave an anime style sweat drop.

"Anyways Lyn I need your opinion on this. Who's nails are better, mine or Mark's? He did mine and they didn't come out right!"

Lyn managed to turn her laugh into a sort of coughing sound . It wasn't everyday that you hear such….odd things.

"I know the job is laughable! Now look at his nails. I did them, aren't they sooooo much better!"

At this point Lyn had to bite on her glove to prevent herself from laughing out loud at Mark's…..quandary if you will. In addition Mark had regained consciousness in time to see Lyn giggleing at his situation. And if this wasn't bad enough Rath had stopped gagging and had come to see what was happening.

"Lyn,I think I almost got it rig-" Rath paused midsentence. He first saw a giggling Lyn, and then a hurt looking Mark and then Serra and that brought his eyes down to what she was holding, Mark's hand. Mark's hand had bright pink nail polish on every nail, carefully applied.

"Pa ca gag cough ha heh"

"Is Rath choking on something?" asked a rather confused Serra.

Rath began to do something that he had not ever done in all his years on Elbe. He laughed. This was to much for Lyn. She started laughing hysterically, to the point that she needed to use Rath as support, lest she fall.

Serra pulled Mark away from the scene in anger. Mark's self esteem was completely broken at this point.

His pink haired captor however seemed very angery.

"They shouldn't have laughed like that!" growled a very angry Serra

"Really?" said a now enthusiastic Mark. One person feeling sorry for him would certainly make him feel a lot less bad at this point.

"Of course, my job on your nails was PERFECT! How DARE they laugh at it!"

Yeah his self-image had just been completely and utterly destroyed.

Author Note Time!

Well it came out later then wanted it to. I cite holidays and finals as my defense. So accept this Christmas present. Or Hanukah. Whatever generic holiday you celebrate I guess.

If you want to know when this story will be next updated then just check my account bio. I keep it pretty much updated and it says when I will update my stories and stuff.