"Jude, there's going to be this awesome concert tonight, and I think I might be able to get us tickets-"
"Jamie, that sounds awesome, really, but I can't. Dad and Sadie are going to be gone for the weekend, and they want me to stay home and study." Not a lie. "They're worried because even my English grades are falling." Because she'd been falling asleep in class for the past two months. But still, not a lie.
"Since when do you stay home from an awesome concert because your parents said so?" Jamie asked.
"Since always." A lie.
He sighed. "Okay Jude, I'll see you Monday."
"Jamie, wait!" Jude said, feeling guilty. She hadn't been spending much time with Jamie. But then again, she hadn't been spending much time at the studio, either.
"What?"
"Well, you know next Friday's my birthday…"
"Yeah?" he said. "You want to go bowling or something?"
"No!" Jude yelled. "Sorry, I do not do bowling. Not since that time in sixth grade where my fingers almost had to be forcibly detached from the ball."
"Ouch," he said. "That sounds bad."
"Yeah. But anyways, G Major's throwing me a party… some semi-big thing with record execs and crap. Would you like to come? You know, keep me sane through having to talk to all those stuffy suits?"
"Hell yeah!" Jamie said, sounding excited. Jude smiled; it was always good to make Jamie happy.
"Great! So we'll talk about it Monday?"
"Sure! Thanks, Jude."
"I should be thanking you, Jamie." Jude sighed in relief and collapsed on the couch after Jamie hung up. It had been getting harder and harder to keep up her friendship with Jamie. Between the studio and her… other habit, she'd barely had time for Jamie. But Jamie was a great friend, and she could afford to lose Jamie, since she was still in that semi-awkward, undefined relationship with Tommy.
Jude refused to mull over Tommy, though.
Steeling her reserve, Jude grabbed her warmest coat, and felt the bag of pills in her pocket. Jude's finger also came in contact with the piece of paper the dealer had slipped her with her last batch of pills.
"You'll like this, sweetheart," he said, handing her a piece of paper.
"What is it?" Jude pocketed the pills, but not the paper.
"It's free, that's what it is."
"And?"
"And it's something new. It'll make the world come alive before your very eyes."
Jude glanced at the paper. "This thing."
"Yep. LSD."
Jude considered it, and then pocketed the paper. "Okay."
--
Tommy was worried. Jude hadn't come in for the past three days, and her father hadn't been the one to call. It had just been Jude. But no one had called in yet today.
Tommy took out his phone and dialed Jude's number.
"Tommy!" she answered happily. More happily than she had in… two months. Ever since she got back from Manitoba. Tommy was going to have a talk with Jamie later.
"You coming in today, Girl?"
"Nope," she said. She made that popping noise some people make when they say their p's. Jude normally wasn't one of those people.
"How're your dad and Sadie?"
"Fine. Still held up at the airport." So that's why Stuart hadn't called. Tommy sighed in relief. "Oh Tommy, I've been thinking, would my room look better with lots of bright colors on the walls? I think it would be beautiful. I can see it now!"
"I'm sure you can, Jude," Tommy said, smiling. "It's the same thing with your music."
"No, Tommy, I can really see it! I'm seeing it right now!" Tommy just chuckled.
"See you tomorrow, Jude."
"Bye Tommy!" she said cheerfully. Tommy grinned. It had taken two months, but it seemed like his Jude was finally back.
--
Tommy checked his watch and tapped his foot impatiently. "Where is she?" he asked Georgia. They'd been standing in the ally, in the cold December weather, for almost two hours, waiting for Jude to show up at her own party. They still had to get her in her dress, and there was no sign of her.
"I don't know," Georgia said, just as EJ came out.
"Georgia, the guests are getting antsy. This party was supposed to start an hour ago."
"She'll come," Georgia said. A teenager in a black hoody and torn jeans walked towards them. "Can we help you?" Georgia asked.
"Georgia!" she said cheerfully, throwing down her hood. "It's me, Juuuuuuuuuuuude! Since when are your clothes so… bright. They've got a swiiiiirly on them." Georgia glanced down at her black blazer and black skirt with concern.
"Jude, where the hell have you been?! You were supposed to be here two hours ago!"
"Oh, Tommy, don't spoil my fun, you silly goose. Let's just sit down! It's not every day you see walls breathing!" Tommy's face paled.
Breathing walls.
"Georgia, she's high," Tommy whispered. EJ hurried inside, and Georgia's eyes widened.
"You don't think?"
"Jude!" Tommy said, loudly. "Jude, you seem… happy."
"'Everybody's happy with LSD!' That's what Mr. Benter said! He was right! This is better than the old stuff. Way better."
"Mr. Benter?" Tommy asked.
"Sit down, Tommy! Watch the walls! They're so… alive."
Tommy sat down next to Jude and stared at the cold, dead brick wall. "Who's Mr. Benter, Jude?"
"He's my friend! My absolute, bestest friend! Don't get me wrong Tommy, you're great, but Mr. Benter is right. Always right! He said LSD is waaaaaaaaaay better than E, and he said that it would make the world come alive! It did, Tommy." Tommy picked Jude up.
"I'll take her home, Georgia. Let me talk to her when she's sober. I'll call you tomorrow, we'll see what we can work out for her." Georgia nodded, and went back inside.
"Let's go, Jude."
"But the walls are breathing!"
"I bet they'll be breathing at home, too," Tommy muttered. He held her tighter, and carried her to his car.
--
Jude had fallen asleep a couple hours after Tommy had brought her home. Tommy had sat with her head in his lap, staring at the wall, while she slept.
Why would Jude do this? It's just… it's not her.
--
Jude blinked, and found that she was sober. This sucks, she thought. Her hand reached into her hoodie pocket, looking for the piece of blotter paper, or a leftover tablet of E, or something.
"If you're looking for your drugs, you won't find them," Tommy said. "I took them all and gave them to Georgia. She's going to give them to the police and say she found them on the street."
"You did what!" Jude shouted. "You took away my one escape! You-!"
"Why, Jude? I thought you could tell me anything. We made that pact, remember. Anything."
"You took my drugs!" Jude yelled, hysterical.
"JUDE!" Tommy yelled back. She quieted. "Why?" This time, tears came to his eyes. "Just why would you even think about it?"
Jude bit her lip. She could tell Tommy anything, right? So maybe she could tell him this. Maybe… she could let it go.
Jude broke down into tears and told Tommy all about Manitoba, and about what had happened since then. When she was done, Tommy had stopped crying, and he glared at her. His anger couldn't mask his anguish, however.
"Why?"
"Because, I didn't know how I felt, and I didn't want to think about how I felt. I wanted to go away."
Tommy's gut clenched. "So this is my fault." Jude didn't say anything; she just looked away.
"I still don't know how I feel."
"Well you can figure it out in rehab," Tommy said.
"WHAT?!"
"If you really think I'm going to let you keep this secret, you're mad. You're going to rehab."