Disclaimer: Not mine, yada yada yada.

Julian raised his eyebrows when Vince walked into the room. "No. No way."

Vince looked down at the outfit he'd just put on in confusion. "Why? What's wrong with it?"

"What's wrong…? Vince, its bright red!"

"Well, yeah!"

Julian pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Vince, you are supposed to be avoiding attention! You might as well have a neon sign strapped to your head!"

Vince sighed. "Ok! Ok! I'll go change into something black!"

"Good!"

As Vince disappeared back up the stairs, Julian wondered whether this was such a good idea. Once Vince had fully understood where he was, he had been desperate to go outside and see 'alternate' London. After a few days of constant begging, Julian had given in and promised him a day out. Now though, he wasn't so sure.

"There, better?" Vince asked sarcastically, giving a little twirl. He had changed into a tight pair of black jeans and a black T-shirt, with white boots. Julian sighed. It would do.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Vince was practically skipping with excitement as they set off down the road. Julian grabbed his arm.

"Calm down, you idiot!" he hissed in his ear, "You're supposed to be going un-noticed!"

"Fine." Vince said, and stopped skipping.

"And if anyone talks to you, don't whatever you do tell them you're Vince! Leave the talking to me." They had so far managed to keep details of Noel's accident out of the papers, and the last thing anyone needed was the world thinking Noel Fielding had gone mad and thought he was Vince Noir.

Julian was very glad he gave that warning, because almost as soon as they stepped onto the busy high street, a group of 16 year old girls rushed up to them and started asking 'Noel' how he was. Vince grinned and said he was fine, then looked at Julian. The older man could tell he was nervous.

"Sorry, girls, but Noel's late for an appointment." they all grumbled, but with much giggling and attempted hugging they left the two men alone.

"Jeez." Muttered Vince, "is it like that all the time for him?"

"Not necessarily." Julian admitted, "I think people are a little over-anxious because they heard about the accident."

"Right." Vince was stunned. He thought he'd had a huge following back home. At least he'd never been mobbed by random teenagers. Not so many at once, anyway.

"This is gonna be genius!" Noel exclaimed, rifling through Vince's wardrobe. Howard had promised to take him on a night out to the Velvet Onion. Noel couldn't remember the last time he'd been this excited about going to a club, it had become such a habit back home. But that was normal clubs, how often did you get to visit something you invented?

"Ok, well, I'll leave you to get ready." Howard told him, heading for the door.

"Yeah, see ya Howard."

Howard shut the bedroom door with a click and headed over to the kitchen where Naboo and Bollo were talking quietly.

"How is he?" asked Naboo when he saw Howard approach.

"He's fine. Excited about going to the Velvet Onion."

Naboo sighed. "Good. Good, we want him entertained…"

"You found out any more about what happened?" Howard asked.

"No. Give me time though. This is a very old and very vague theory. It's going to take a while."

"Bollo miss precious Vince." Bollo said, sadly.
Howard nodded. They had all taken to Noel, but he wasn't the same. He was more sarcastic, less naïve. They all missed Vince.

At that moment, Noel came out dressed in one of Vince's Joan-Jet jumpsuits.

"What d'ya think?" he asked, posing.

"You look like a futuristic prostitute" Howard told him with a small smile. Noel grinned.

"Come on, then, let's go!" Howard said, walking towards the door. As he walked through he glanced back and Naboo and Bollo; who were both, once again, engrossed in quiet conversation.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"It's a lot bigger than I thought it would be!" Noel yelled over the music.

"How come?!" Howard called back.

"I dunno. Guess it's because we only film the stage area!"

"VINCE!" someone yelled, clapping Noel forcefully on the back causing him to choke on his drink.

"Nope!" Howard told them, "This is Noel. Noel, meet Leroy."

"Noel?" Leroy considered him for a moment, then turned to Howard, "this aint some role-play game, is it?"

Noel looked enquiringly at Howard, who flushed. "No! Why would I do that! Noel's…um…Vince's cousin!"

"Right. Hey Noel!"

"Alright Leroy!" Noel had to admit, Leroy looked nothing like he'd pictured. The only time they'd shown 'Leroy' on the show, he'd been so caked in make-up the actor had been unrecognisable. It felt almost weird to be seeing him, as if someone had looked into his head and told him how his ideas ought to look.

"Why'd you say I'm Vince's cousin?" he asked once Leroy had left. Howard shrugged.

"He was off his face. I figured he'd probably freak out or not understand."

"True."

Howard looked over at the stage and groaned suddenly. "Oh God…"

Noel followed his gaze and saw that Bob Fossil had taken to the stage wearing only a string bikini. Every patron in the club was either looking a little sick or was so drunk they hadn't noticed. Noel had to bite his tongue to suppress the urge to yell out 'nice tits'. He had to remember this wasn't Rich he was talking to.

"Noel!"

Vince spun round to see a cute brunette standing next to him. She looked familiar, he thought, but he couldn't think where he'd seen her before.

"How are you? How're they treating you in the psychiatry sessions?"

Vince looked over at Julian in alarm. He hadn't been going to the sessions, not since Julian had realised he wasn't crazy. To his surprise, Julian smiled at the woman.

"Hey, Dee. How you holding up?"

"Not too bad."

"Dee?" Vince mouthed over her shoulder.

"Noel's girlfriend." Julian mouthed back.

"Oh. Er, hi Dee!"

"Do you remember anything yet?" she asked, sounding hopeful.

"Um…a bit…"

"He can remember the accident now, but not much else." Julian cut in, frowning at him.

"Oh." she looked disappointed. Vince felt an urge to say something to comfort her, pretend he knew her, maybe. But he resisted, knowing Julian wouldn't be happy. Plus he wasn't very good at thinking on his feet. The three of them had a small conversation for a few minutes, before Julian pointed out that 'Noel' shouldn't get too tired and they should get back to the house.

Vince was almost glad to be back. True, he'd had a genius day visiting parallel Topshop and seeing parallel London. But the constant attention had driven him mad. It was the staring. Back home people had adored him, they had gone through his bins and they had tried to touch him. But people never stared when he walked down the street, not unless he wanted them to with an outfit or something.

He and Julian sat on the sofa in silence for a while. Vince looked at him. "Dee's nice." He said in a would-be casual voice.

Julian frowned slightly. "She is." He said his tone suspicious.

"I was thinking maybe we could invite her round."

"She's also dating my best mate. Who, I might point out, she believes you are."

"I know! Jeez, what do you take me for; you think I'd take advantage like that!"

"Hmm. Maybe not, sorry." But Julian was anything but convinced.

"Thanks for today." Vince said, trying to change the subject.

"That's alright."

"It was genius. All those people were a bit much, but you dealt with them!"

"Yeah, well." Julian smiled, feeling pleased at the praise.

"You've been great, you know that? Since you've known who I was, I mean. Before that you were a bit creepy."

Julian laughed. "Thanks. No, but seriously, you were pretty good today yourself. I'll admit I wasn't sure about taking you out, I thought you'd blow our cover. But you're a lot smarter than I give you credit for!"

Vince was silent. Julian turned his head to look at him, then his eyes opened wide when he felt a pair of lips pressed against his own. He shoved Vince away from him and stood up, wiping his mouth angrily. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"I...I don't…"

"About 3 minutes ago you were saying how you fancied Dee! What is wrong with you?!"

"I…I'm sorry, I didn't mean…it's just you were being so nice to me and you look so much like Howard…" he trailed off, looking lost and tearful.

He looked so bewildered and upset that Julian felt his anger evaporating. As he looked at Vince, trying to get rid of the last of his anger, what the younger man had said filtered through his brain. "Hold on, what do you mean 'I look so much like Howard'?"

Vince frowned, puzzled. "Well, you do."

"No, I mean, why would that mean you tried to…you know." He blinked, not sure he liked where this was going. "Are you and he…?"

"What?! No!" Vince wiped his eyes, trying to dry his tears. "I mean, Howard's straighter than a fucking arrow."

"But you…?" Vince blushed and looked away. "I see."

"It's not like I'd tell him or anything." Vince insisted quickly. "He'd freak out completely." He looked suddenly at Julian, as though struck by a sudden idea, "Wouldn't he?"

Julian blinked. Vince was looking at him with a slightly pleading expression. Julian smiled to himself for a moment, picturing Noel's face if he suggested they write it into a script that Vince tells Howard he loves him and they become a couple. He shook himself out of the daydream and looked down at Vince. "I don't know. How about I make you some tea, yeah?"

"Ok." Vince buried his face in his hands as Julian wondered out of the room. What the hell had he been thinking? He'd never planned to kiss anyone; he didn't even fancy Julian…

BRRRRING!

Vince lifted his head slightly as the doorbell rang. At least now there would be someone else in the room with him and Julian. It was going to be a bit awkward, he could tell…

BRRRRING!

Why wasn't he answering the door? Couldn't he hear it?

BRRRRING!

Vince sighed. Julian had warned him under no circumstances was he to open the door. But really, what harm could it do? He stood up, and went to answer it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Julian leant against the counter as the kettle boiled, trying to get his head around what he'd just found out. Vince liked Howard.

Vince and Howard. Together.

Julian shook his head. He knew people loved the idea of them as a couple, he'd read enough of the fan fiction stories, but he found it a little too weird. It was practically him and Noel!

He froze as he thought he heard the doorbell and listened hard. He didn't want to have to leave the kitchen unless he was sure. He didn't hear it again, so he shrugged and finished making the tea. He picked up the mugs and headed back to the front room.

"Hey, Vince, about before. I shouldn't have yelled at you. Vince? I…oh." he'd just walked into the room. Mike was there.

And he looked extremely pissed off.

Hehe, I just can't resist!

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