Chapter 15

As Don and Colby returned to the office they felt like they were part of bee hive. Everyone was buzzing around hectically. The message of Charlie's disappearance had spread like a wildfire but nobody dared ask Don personally about it but that was hardly necessary anyway. His concerned face spoke volumes. It took Don enormous efforts to hide his true feelings and he wondered how long he would be able to grin and bear it.

"I ... I don't know what to say. I'm sorry," David muttered as Don passed by and shook his head.

Megan was in the kitchen and fidgeted around with the coffee machine. Don went over to her.

"Damnit! Thanks everyone. Is it asking too much to refill water and coffee? Why is it always me? Sometimes I feel like ..."

She didn't see the plate. It smashed on the ground.

"Oh no," she wailed.

"Let it go Megan, I'll take care of it", Don said gently.

"Today is really not my day", she complained.

Thankful for some distraction he cleaned up the mess. Megan leant against the door of the refrigerator and hid her eyes behind her right hand.

Don asked "everything OK?"

"No, shit, nothing's okay," she honestly replied, "I actually should be the one asking you." She wiped away the tears with the sleeve of her blouse, "I am so sorry Don. I don't understand why Charlie? Why not one of us?"

"Why not me?" Don added, "why couldn't I protect him they way I should?"

She shook her head, "please Don, stop blaming yourself. You did all you could."

"Really? Then why didn't I believe Craven?" he swallowed hard, "I really thought this damned son of a bitch was just acting up."

"That's not true Don and you know it," she objected, "you've done everything you could."

"Then why has Charlie been kidnapped?" Don insisted still staring to the ground.

"Look at me Don please, look at me."

Slowly he lifted his head. She put his hands on his shoulders.

Stressing every single word she said, "IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT."

"I wish I could believe that", he whispered.

She drew him into her arms and stroked tenderly over his back. He showed no reaction just waited for Megan to let him go again.

She didn't so he pulled from her embrace and turned on his heel.

"You can't hide your frustration forever," she said seriously, "it will eat away at you."

"And what do you want me to do? Break down and cry?" he snapped, "Who would that help? Definitely not Charlie!"

"It would help you", she tried to convince him, "of course you can ignore your feelings but that doesn't mean that they vanish sooner or later."

"I still got a lot to do, I don't have time for this bullshit," he made a dismissive gesture, straightened up and went back to the office.

If anyone had thought to see Special Agent Eppes in tears, they were damned wrong.

"Party's over guys go back to work," he barked at the people that had gathered around in the bullpen, "Go back to work, immediately."

Then he asked Colby to give him a ride to CalSci, he didn't want tell Amita and Milly about Charlie on the phone.

They were half on their way when Colby finally broke the silence, "don't you think it's time to pay another visit to our friend Craven?"

Don nodded slowly, "I just had the same idea. But isn't he now at Mount Mitchell?"

"You're right," Colby said, "I heard rumors that they were wanting to turn the place into another Fort Knox only they didn't have enough money and then Craven's lawyers were talking about going on a warpath so they decided against it. Now some uniforms are taking care of him. All very good friends of Gary, so we are welcome any time."

"Thanks for the information, Colb," Don said his eyes still glued on the street.

"It's my pleasure after the Janus list disaster; I'm glad you didn't kick my ass and send me to hell."

Colby recalled the worst time of his life for a split second. And it still gave him the creeps. He tried to imagine what his friend was going through now.

Don pulled his mobile out of the jacket pocket, opened it up and stared at the display. His thumb hovered above the keys and he wondered what he should tell his father.

Colby tightened his jaw, he could feel the tension in the air.

"Hi dad, it's me, Don", he said hoarsely, "We've found Charlie's car at a scrap yard in Bakersfield."

Silence.

"No, we don't know anything specific. We don't know where he might be."

Silence.

"I know, I'm doing everything that I can, dad. Please, I'm on my way to CalSci right now. When I'm done I'm coming to you."

He snapped the mobile shut and closed his eyes. Again he had this intense feeling to yell at someone or beat something to crap. Instead of he drew in a breath and held it for a minute.

It felt strange as Don entered the campus. He was hoping Charlie would come around the corner and outtalk him that everything had been a big mistake and that the chances stood one against one million blah blah blah and he would show him his blackboard to prove his calculations.

But nothing like that happened. God, he'd never thought he could miss his little brother that much.

On his way to Milly's office he came across Charlie's. He took a closer look at it. It seemed empty and deserted though dozens of books were piling up on the tables and various documents lay around.

Again Don waited for Charlie to show up. His look wandered over to the blackboard, Charlie's writing. A cold hand clutched his heart; he couldn't stand it any longer and went on.

Colby followed him, he was a good friend and he knew when he had to remain silent.

Before Don knocked at Milly's door, he asked Colby to wait outside. He nodded and positioned himself somewhere down the hall.

Don entered. To his surprise Amita was already there. Her red rimmed eyes told him that she had been crying. She jumped up from the chair and he tilted his head slightly.

He'd expected her to yell at him and heap reproaches on him. Instead she hugged and squeezed him and started to sob quietly. A little helplessly he looked around and met Milly's gaze for a second. She nodded slowly so he returned Amita's embrace shyly.

Shit, he wasn't the man with the great feelings and he was a lousy comforter. It had always been that way and it wouldn't change, that's for sure. Boys do not cry!

"I'm so sorry," man, he was so tired of these four words. Today, he's already heard it a hundred times. Amita pulled free of him and pulled a hanky out of her left sleeve.

She blew her nose, "your dad has called just before", she sniffled, "it's so terrible. Can you tell us more?"

He would have preferred Colby on his side now, anyway, the ex-marine that stood like a rock. As if Don had needed something like that? Someone who stood like a rock? Bullshit! He called himself a fool.

Then he told Amita and Milly what they had. It wasn't much.

"I shouldn't have sent him to Bakersfield", Milly said all of a sudden, "not under these circumstances. I feel like I gave the kidnappers a hand. I hope you can forgive me."

She was cleaning her glasses and Don thought if she kept on going none of the glass would be left.

"That's crap Milly," he replied brusquely, "it could've happened anywhere."

"But it happened when Charlie was on the way to a lecture to which I had sent him."

She took a closer look at her glasses and still was not satisfied with the result.

"Milly, please. Don is right, none of us can say what would have happened if Charlie would have stayed. Maybe they would have kidnapped him from the campus," Amita said, "or from in front of his home. These people don't have any scruples and I think after what I know about this case so far Craven doesn't stop until he gets what he want. It was just a question of time."

Don blew out a breath.

"Milly if someone has to take responsibility for Charlie than it's me. I'm the FBI Agent. I've the knowledge and the means to prevent them from doing this but I failed ... miserably."

His voice trailed off.

Amita shook her head intensely, "Jesus Christ, don't go there Don. How could you know how they would chose? It could've been your father as good as me or Larry or you. I'm sure they've seen me, too. You're only human."

"I AM AN FBI AGENT," he contradicted obstinately; "I am trained in such cases. If I'm not able to protect my own family what the hell gives me the right to protect others, strangers?"

"Don, you're not seriously questioning your abilities?" Milly got into it, "this is not a good idea, if you want to help your brother. I can't think of anyone else who'd be more capable to solve this case."

"Thanks for your confidence," Don said, "but it was me who put Charlie's and anyone else's life at stake."

"Your father is, however, of the same opinion as I am," she stated, "he trusts in you and your abilities."

Don's jaw dropped. He hadn't been prepared for such a statement. He glanced at his watch.

"Please excuse me, I've to pay a visit to my father and then I have to go back to the office. I'll keep in touch with you."

He slammed the door.

The two women exchanged their looks, "Don doesn't have an easy life with Don," Milly muttered.

Amita got up and went over to the window, "Don is, body and soul, an FBI agent. That's good on one side because it is that which will save Charlie, but on the other side it could kill Don one day."

Facing his own father was the most difficult thing Don had done today, even after Milly had informed him about Alan's point of view. The welcome home wasn't overwhelming. Don avoided any physical contact with his father; not once did he look him in the eyes.

"Why don't you ask Colby to come in? He shouldn't stay in the car", asked Alan when he saw that Don's colleague remained outside.

Don shook his head and dropped onto the couch. He pinched the bridge of his nose and fought back the tears desperately.

"Son, you look really crappy," Alan muttered, "do you want something to eat or drink?"

"DAD!" Don yelled at him, "Stop doing it. Stop doing like nothing had happened. Charlie has been kidnapped because I fucked up."

Alan sat down next to him, "so that's what you're thinking."

"Yes, I do. So does everyone around me. They just don't want to say it."

"Don, nobody can escape his destiny. You know that as well as I do."

"Dad, don't. I don't need your "spiritual support". I'd prefer you yell at me and tell me that I'm an ignorant dickhead and that you are mad about me and that I totally screwed it up. Only then I'd find my freedom and can go back to work."

Alan laughed bitterly, "Sorry, I can't do you that favor. I'm not blaming you for Charlie's disappearance and Charlie also wouldn't do it. Believe me."

He kept talking for a while. Don hardly noticed anything of it. At a certain point he couldn't stand it any longer like he couldn't stand his brother's deserted office and left.

His stomach churned, the lump in his throat was choking him. His body felt numb. But he was driven by his concentrated hate and anger. A look was enough for Colby to know, where they would go from here.

Mount Mitchell was a renowned psychiatric clinic in Los Angeles.

Don literally stormed to the counter and banged his badge on the desk, "FBI, where's Adrian Craven?"

The nurse frowned and eyed him up closely, "could you please restrain yourself a little, Sir. We are very concerned about the well-being of our patients here."

"How nice," he replied laconically, "then could you please be so kind and tell me where the hell we'll find Adrian Craven?"

"Just a second," demonstratively she turned her back on the two agents, reached for the phone and dialed a number, "Dr. Hall? Andrea here, could you please come down to the entrance. There are two gentlemen from the FBI who say they would like to talk to Mr. Craven."

"Ma'am what's so hard to understand?" Don interrupted her phone call, "I don't want to talk to any doctor, I want to talk to Adrian Craven."

"Dr. Hall is responsible for Mr. Craven; he'll be with you in a few minutes."

Don was close to losing it, his face turned crimson and the veins on his neck stood out.

Colby snapped his cell shut, "Don, he's in the fourth floor. Room number 409."

"Excellent," Don cast a devastating look at the nurse and went with Colby to the elevator.

"You're not allowed ..."

"I appreciate your help, Andrea ", Don hollered out sarcastically before the doors closed.

It wasn't hard to find Craven's room. Two uniforms stood in front of it.

"Hi officers, we're agent Eppes and Colby," Don said while he and Colby were holding up their ID's.

"Dt. Walker already informed us about your "visit". Unfortunately, this is the wrong time. Craven has just been violent. Quite nasty and they had to sedate him. Even an atomic explosion wouldn't wake him up."

"We'll see," Don muttered.

He'd already seen the doctor stepping out of the elevator and hurrying toward them.

"Wake him up," Don barked.

"That's impossible. It would harm the patient's health."

The doctor was shorter than Don so the agent furiously loomed over him, "and if you don't it could harm your health. Now wake him up, goddamnit. I don't give a fuck about this son of a bitch. He is the only one who knows where my brother is."

The doctor pushed his glasses up his nose, "I truly doubt that. Mr. Craven has had no visitors and he's under heavy medication."

Before one of policemen or Colby could react Don's arm shot forward and gripped at the doctor's neck pushing him against the wall with all the strength he possessed, "once more, I don't belong to Craven's Fan club. I don't give a fuck about his condition, like he gave a fuck about the lives of seventeen people he'd slaughtered. He's also responsible for my brother being kidnapped. So wake him up or I swear I'll go and take care of it myself." tbc

A huge thank you to ALEO my beta!