Bloody hell, I haven't updated this in ages! I expect a lot of people have forgotten all about this fic lol, sorry about that. Anyway, thought I should finally get round to writing it (have got some free time coz I don't have to attend one of my lectures coz I know what they're teaching. I love knowing stuff lol)

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Erm…I own a Mighty Boosh DVD. Does that count? No? Oh well.

Diane Fielding smiled. "Hello Mike love."

"Yeah, hi." Mike moved slightly to the right so he was blocking the door. "Listen, mum, why're you here?"

"Why do you think? I'm here to see Noel." she told him, rolling her eyes.

"You cant!"

She frowned slightly. "Why not?"

"He's…sleeping."

"No he isn't. He's right there, I can see him!"

Mike turned his head. Sure enough, Vince had for some reason decided to follow him out of the living room and was standing awkwardly in the hall. Mike groaned softly, glaring at him.

"Well, he needs rest, so…"

Her eyes narrowed slightly. "Michael, why wont you let me see him? Every time I call to speak to him I get Julian giving me excuses, and now you! Why don't you want me to see my son?"

"It's not that mum, we just…"

"Good, then I can come in then." she barged past him and swept Vince into a hug. Mike bit his lip and closed the door, hoping with all his heart Julian would be back soon. He wasn't entirely sure what he thought the older man would be able to do; but it would still be nice to have an ally.

Noel grinned happily at his reflection. He never thought he'd be this excited about going home. Of course; Naboo had warned it might take a while, but Noel didn't care. All that mattered to him was that they were getting somewhere with this; had a theory as to why it had happened and how to reverse it.

"Alright?" Howard asked, wondering into the bedroom.

"Genius." Noel replied, fiddling with his hair to make it lie exactly right. "Howard?"

"Hmm?"

"Has Naboo said anything to you? About, y'know, anything?"

Howard sighed. "Not a bloody thing." it really annoyed him, actually. After explaining his theory to them the morning before, he'd barely spoken a word to them since. Howard thought they should be involved, it was to do with them after all.

"Are you excited? About getting Vince back?"

Howard smiled. "Yeah. I cant wait." he looked up. "I mean, don't get me wrong I like you, but…it's Vince."

Noel laughed. "Don't get your knickers in a twist mate, I'm not offended. Hell, if it was you switched with Ju I'd be glad to see the back of you if it meant getting my mate back."

"Thanks, you're too kind."

Noel laughed again. "Seriously though." he shook his head slightly. "I cant wait to get back. I wonder how everyone's getting on?"

Vince glanced nervously at Mike, then looked quickly away when he caught the young man's eye and he glared at him. He still wasn't sure why he'd ignored Mike's warning to stay out the way, but he definitely hadn't expected Noel's mum to be standing there. He thought Julian had given her the whole 'don't confuse Noel, he wont know who you are' spiel. Obviously she'd decided to ignore it.

"How are you, Noel?" Diane asked.

"Um…I'm…good." he smiled at her, and she beamed back.

"how're you finding the psychiatrist? What's his name again?"

Vince looked at Mike in a panic. He wasn't sure what they'd been telling her, and he didn't want to contradict anything.

"Doctor French." Mike said quickly. "He's private."

"When did that happen?"

"Oh…not that long ago."

"When's his next session?"

Mike swallowed. "I…I don't know. You'll have to ask Ju."

She blinked. "Mike. About that…"

"Yeah?"

"Why has Julian become Noel's primary carer? Every time I call here, it's him I speak to. And now you're telling me he's in charge of Noel's medical care?"

"So? Vi…Noel's comfortable around him, mum…"

"He's comfortable around you? I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Julian but he's not family. Noel needs to be looked after by his family!"

As if on cue, he heard the front door open as Julian came back in.

"Julian! Hi. Mum's here!" he called, just in case Julian started talking to Vince without checking there was no-one else here.

"What?! I…oh. Hi, Diane."

"Julian."

He shot a curious glance at Mike, uncertain as to why she was there. The younger man shook his head apologetically.

"Diane, um…listen, don't take this the wrong way, but…"

"You want me to leave."

"No! No, it's not that, Diane! I'm not trying to keep Noel from his family, but…you might…confuse him."

"Rubbish. People meet strangers every day, doesn't send them into a shock spiral! What is it with you two?"

"Mum…" Mike began but she waved him aside.

"I don't understand! It's like you want him to be dependent on you or something! I just…"

"Mum. Stop it." Vince said in a small voice. Everyone fell silent and looked at him in amazement.

"Sorry, Noel." Diane said softly, looking round as if only just remembering where she was. "Sorry."

Vince swallowed, watching her. She seemed nice, a smiley sort of person. Is this what my mum would have been like? Would she have cared about me as much as she obviously cares about Noel? Vince had felt a lot of things so far, but this was the only time he'd felt even the slightest desire to stay. He couldn't help thinking about what his life would have been like if his mum hadn't killed herself. He also couldn't help thinking that he wouldn't mind Diane as a mother.

"I should go. Call me, Julian. Please."

"I will, Diane. I promise."

Vince stepped forwards and wrapped his arms around her neck, hugging her tight. "Bye, mum."

"Bye love." she smiled and was led out of the room by Mike. Vince watched them go, tears threatening to fall, already recording every detail of his 'mum' to memory.

"Howard? Howard!"

"What is it, Naboolio? You talking to us again?"

"What're you on about, you ball bag? Whatever. Listen, we think tonight."

"What about tonight?"

Naboo rolled his eyes as if Howard were a simpleton. "Tonight we can have a go at reversing the switch!"

"What?" Noel appeared as if out of no-where and grinned. "Tonight?!"

"Yeah!"

"Tonight…oh man, I need to get ready!" he ran into the bedroom, muttering about straightners. Howard grinned, then felt it slide slightly as he saw the way Naboo was looking at him.

"What?"

"Howard…there's something I need to tell you about this…"

Sorry there's not much Noel and Howard scenes in this chapter! Never mind. I still haven't decided how nice I'm going to be to them, whether or not I'm going to make it work! Depends on how many more ideas I get; whether or not I think I can write a lot more chapters or not! Reviews are love, you guys keep me writing!xx