Notes Eleven (Epilogue)
Authoress's note: Alright guys. This is it. After this, it will take an astronomical amount of reviews to make me add another chapter to this. I really do love the story, but the idea-shop is closed, and refuses to open back up. Thank you so much to everyone who read this story, and all the amazing comments I've received have made my self-esteem soar to slightly dangerous levels. I apologize in advance if this seems forced. Keep in mind that it is.
The perfect spray-paint message unfortunately wasn't found, so I hope what I used is funny enough for all of you. Thank you to everyone who entered something, some of them had me falling off my desk in laughter.
Once again a big thanks to everyone who read this story, a bigger thanks to those who reviewed, a huge thanks to those who added it to their favorites or alerts, and a GIGANTIC thanks to those who did all of them. You guys make my world light up like a tree on Christmas morning. I love you guys. Seriously.
Bella's Point of View
I whimpered slightly in the back of my throat. I didn't wan to do this. Even though Edward couldn't get out of the trunk without it (at least without further damaging his precious car) I wasn't very thrilled. Emmett stood on one side of me, looking like he at least felt a little bad about duck taping me to the trunk. He'd peeled off the duck tape that was attached to only the trunk, and he'd been given the honorable job of ripping all the duck tape off me. While my legs were thankfully covered in jeans, my arms were mostly bare and would not enjoy the feeling of duck tape being pulled off them.
Desperately trying to put off the inevitable, I asked Emmett quickly, "How did you get your hair blue?" He smiled up at his azure locks, grinning over at Alice.
"Thankfully, Alice had some temporary spray-on hair coloring. When Charlie sees me with my normal hair again, it will give him more proof that it was all a dream." He seemed proud of his sacrifice to the greater good. I moved my head to look around him, finding Esme carefully placing Charlie in the passenger seat of his cruiser.
"Why did he come anyway?" I asked, still trying to distract him.
"Alice said he was dropping off some stuff for your 'sleepover'. I suppose its unnecessary now." He started to slowly pull the tape from my arms, and I blurted the first thing I could think of that might distract him. I don't know why I was bothering; I knew I couldn't spend what was left of my human life duck taped to the trunk of a Volvo. The tape would have to come off eventually. But it's human nature to forestall pain as long as possible. So I forestalled.
"Are you sure that Alice gave you temporary hair coloring? It seems awfully convenient that she had a Tarzan costume, Tinkerbell, and temporary hair coloring. I think she planned all this. And if she did, do you really think she'd give you temporary?"
His eyebrows furrowed, and he seemed to consider what I said for awhile. I started to hope that he'd forgotten about my duck-taped self, but then he looked down at me, smiled, and ripped all the tape off.
My shriek was more of surprise than of actual pain, but as soon as the tape was all off, the pain surfaced. Emmett lifted me off the trunk and the second my feet touched the ground, a furious Edward was standing beside me. He growled at Emmett.
"I hardly think that was necessary." Knowing how much pain I was in he laid his frigid arms on mine, instantly soothing their burning.
"Thanks for the tip, Bella. I'm gonna go try to wash it out right now!" He turned to go into the massive house, and Edward turned back to me, his face deeply apologetic.
"I'm sorry, Bella. I blew everything way out of proportion. With the help of my family, of course. But I should have just respected your privacy."
"Aw! You two lovebirds are too cute!" Emmett called over his shoulder, "You both talk as if you're in some teen romance novel!"
Edward growled at him again, letting go of my arms as he started to stalk towards Emmett, probably thinking of ways to kill him. Suddenly he stopped, looking at the side of his car.
"Oh thank goodness! Alice was hiding her thoughts from me, so I had no idea what she sprayed on here. But it's only a strange-looking rabbit." He smiled in relief, forgetting all about Emmett, who'd turned around to see what was on Edward's argentine car.
I moved over to stand next to him, carefully examining the 'rabbit' before turning to Edward.
"Um…Edward? That's not just a rabbit. It's the playboy bunny. With fangs." Edward looked at me for a few seconds, his perfect eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"The what?" He asked. Emmett appeared behind him, his booming laughter ricocheting off everything nearby.
"You don't know what the playboy bunny is? Edward, sometimes you really are a disappointment." Emmett skipped off, his teasing having ruffled Edward's metaphorical feathers. Before Edward could demand an explanation, I saw the other thing that Alice had painted, and would have fallen over with laughter if Edward hadn't caught me and held me up.
"What is it?" He demanded impatiently. I was shaking so hard from laughter that I could only lift my arm and point to the sentence that was painted in pink spray paint across the passenger-side window.
Edward's POV
"ALICE!" I bellowed, gently setting Bella on the ground before racing off to find my soon-to-be-late sister.
I found her and Emmett in the first story bathroom, Emmett's face panicked.
"It won't come out!" He wailed, fingering his blue hair with a distraught expression on his usually playful face.
"It will; it'll just take a month or eight." Alice was smug as she smiled at Emmett, clearly knowing that this would happen. Probably planned it. I was going to enjoy killing her.
"Too bad you won't be here to see it." I hissed at her, glaring my fiercest glare.
She somehow had the nerve to roll her eyes at me before turning back to Emmett. "You'll just have to wear a wig the next time Charlie sees you." She grinned in triumph at Emmett's fearful grimace.
None of us quite understood it, but Emmett had a pathological fear of wigs. He saw one; he would immediately start babbling gibberish about how it would 'get him'. He never talked about it, so we all just guessed that something traumatic had happened in his human life involving a wig.
I shook of the comical memories of Emmett slowly backing away from a wig, dredging up my death wishes for Alice.
"First, you duck tape my girlfriend to the hood of my car. Then you have the nerve to spray paint my car with pink paint. You paint this obscure little rabbit that I'm sure has some embarrassing meaning, and then you paint the ridiculous term 'I'm Edwardlicious'! Honestly! Edwardlicious isn't even a word!"
Emmett, so terrified of his hairy fate moments before, was now rolling on the bathroom floor, laughing his blue head off. I growled, wordlessly telling him that I had no problem adding him to my hit list. He continued to laugh, seeming only amused by my not-so-silent threats.
"Edward?" I turned around, recognizing that beautiful voice and naturally turning towards it. Bella.
She was leaning up against the doorframe, a serious expression on her lovely face.
"You didn't see the driver's side window, did you?" She asked fearfully. I heard Alice giggle, and quickly rushed out the door to see what else Alice had done to my poor car.
The next day (still Edward's POV)
I clenched my teeth as another honk sounded from the car next to me. Bella stifled another giggle, somehow managing to find this funny.
"This is ridiculous." I hissed, as yet another honk came from a different car. I shot the car's driver a glare, and they quickly let up on the gas to fall behind us. I steered the car into the lane on the far left of the road, so no other cars could drive up on that side and see Alice's instructions.
She's painted her words so that my face was perfectly visible to everyone passing by, and despite the lane I was in, honks continued to pepper the air as we drove in silence to Seattle. We were going to Seattle to both get the spray paint removed, and fix the hole that Jasper put in my car. Every time I tried to pummel him for that, I always seemed to forget that I was angry. Sometimes I really hated his little 'ability'.
Bella had talked me out of killing Alice, saying that Charlie would be suspicious is Alice suddenly disappeared. It was a weak excuse at best, but she'd also used her puppy-dog-eyes on me, which I pathetically couldn't seem to resist.
We got to Seattle fairly quickly, Bella telling me to slow down every time I exceeded one hundred miles per hour. When we drove into the Volvo auto shop and parked the car, I could see all the mechanics looking at the Volvo and stifling their grins. They all thought this was funny.
Some random mechanic's POV
I could see all of my buddies laughing as the silver Volvo pulled into our lot, parking in one of the spaces closest to the door. As it parked, I got a glimpse of the passenger side, where the words 'I'm Edwardlicious' were painted in hot pink spray paint, along with something that looked like the playboy bunny. I grinned at that, but I burst out laughing as I saw the driver's side, and the words "HONK IF YOU THINK I'M SEXY!" , also in pink paint. A boy's face was framed perfectly by the 'o' in 'honk'.
We were all laughing now, and one of the female mechanics 'accidentally' pressed the horn of the car she was working on.
Another few hours later, back to Edward's POV
I leaned back against my couch, glad that the whole ordeal was finally over. The mechanics had managed to repair the hole with no problems, and the pink paint was all gone. Now all we had to worry about was Charlie.
Emmett, petrified, had managed to endure a wig for a few minutes as we purposefully ran into him and Bella at the grocery store. His thoughts had confirmed that he did indeed think that he'd had a dream. A very strange dream.
Bella groaned beside me, and a glance at the clock confirmed that it was time for her to go home. She'd driven her truck to our house earlier today, as I'd refused to take the Volvo out in public until absolutely necessary. So I carried her downstairs, depositing her safely in her monster of a vehicle.
Before she closed the door, she handed me a folded piece of paper.
"Don't open it until I'm out of sight." She told me sternly.
She pulled her door shut, started her obnoxious engine, and drove out of sight.
I curiously unfolded the paper she'd given me, ignoring the fact that the paper was pink.
'Honk, honk' was all that was written on the paper, along with a drawn smiley face with one eye lowered in a wink.
THE END
I hope you all had a Merry Christmas! And will have a Happy New Year!
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