Thanks to PatrickDempseylover, Salamara, and michelle1203 for the reviews! Sorry I was late. Check the journal for explanation. Link to it is on my profile.
That night, I wondered what the big deal was. I still don't know either. Dad and I lived. We weren't hurt. What was the big deal? You know, they say you can't really learn how to live until you learn how to die. I'm really more alive them everybody else because I know I can die at any minute, at any second, I just take the idea to a whole 'nother level by not caring.
I hated how Mom, Dad and Gen always worried about me and my mental health or lack thereof. It was like I was a ticking time bomb and no one knew when I would explode into insanity. I already knew that the 'explosion' was inevitable, long before they did, so why bother? Just sit back and watch the pretty explosion because there's nothing anybody can do about it!
Gen kinda has a hero complex about it all. She's always tried to keep her schizo husband under control even though he can't even control himself…When I start to think about how much I failed her, I use my emergency exit. Insanity. For some reason, when I mess up, I have to make it worse because I don't want help. If I make it worse, no one can help me.
She came to me that night and asked if I was ok. I wasn't even in the same ballpark as 'ok'.
"Yeah." I lied.
"Are you sure?" She persisted.
"Yes. Why do you keep acting like I'm a ticking time bomb!?" I exclaimed, standing up and started to pace.
She stood up too. "Well, Jack, maybe you are a ticking time bomb!" God, that woman can read my mind and that freaks me out.
I groaned like a feral animal and grasped my head in my hands and threaded my fingers through my hair. "I don't know what's wrong with me anymore! I'm taking my meds but I can't control it anymore! I used to be able too, but know…I can't!!" With that, I broke down into tears. Yeah, I cried! So what? Darth Vader cries in three of the six Star Wars movies…
Gen took me into her arms.
"I'm afraid of who will become…" I said.
Gen and I never spoke about that conversation again. We still haven't to this day. I don't think we ever will either. I hope. I gotta kill someone now. I feel like a weakling.
When we got home, I was supposed to start packing for college. I put it off until the last minute in favor of sleeping in. Finally, the day I had been waiting for since I turned sixteen came. I was finally leaving…and I was still packing. I also left a giant mess in my old room and left before my parents got up. I didn't want Mom making my departure all sappy.
"How many suitcases do you have, girl?" Gen's father asked jokingly as I loaded her luggage in the truck. "Look, your boyfriend only has two, you have" he counted, "six!"
Gen took forever to say goodbye to her parents. I wanted to leave so bad, I had to use my left foot to keep my right foot on the brake pedal.
Gen hugged her Dad and he said, "Remember, you're the good one. Make me proud."
"Dad…I'm the only one." She replied.
"Whatever, you know what I mean. Just don't come back for the holidays, pregnant." He replied. I smacked my forehead on the steering wheel. That was too much pressure to put on me!
"You better get going." Her mother said.
'Thank Jesus!" I thought.
She hugged her parents once more and climbed into the truck.
"Good bye small backwards town." I said after we left city limits.
"What do you think Gotham would be like?" She asked as I tried to get past a tractor on the road. Only in that town you'll see a tractor on the roads. It's highly unlikely you'll see one in Gotham. If so, I'll shoot the driver and torch the tractor. 'Cuz it reminds me to much of that town I hate so much.
"…Gothic? Seriously, who names a town that? 'Gotham'. It's so…dismal…" I replied.
"So literal you are." Genesis said.
"Talk like Yoda you do." I said, chuckling.
Gen laughed, "This is going to be a lonnnng ride."
Gen fell asleep around four thirty during the drive and by then we were nearly half way to Gotham. She didn't miss much. It was starting to annoying how the same songs kept playing on the radio.
"Gen! Gen! Wake up! We're here!" I exclaimed. Wow. Is it just me or is it pathetic that I was getting excited about Gotham?
She opened her eyes. "Oh wow…"
"Woohoohooo! Country boy has made it to the big city!" I exclaimed, honking the horn and flashing the headlights.
I don't know what Gen has told you guys, but I. Was. Not. Lost. I was mentally mapping alternate routes to our apartment in my mind. The apartment we bought was small, but I didn't care and I don' think Gen did either. At least it was in walking distance of GU.
As we ate, we toasted to our future here in Gotham. If I remember correctly, I wanted it to be a helluva one. Ha! I got my wish!
I would relive that night if I could. That was the night we first made love. That was the night she first showed me her own scar. See, she was in a bad car accident when we were Sophomores. Because it of she has a long scar on her belly from the surgery she had to have to fix the internal bleeding. That scar is one to the things I like most about her. They looked so similar to my own that I had to lick the scar like my own, touch it, and feel it against my skin and against my own scars.