Half an hour later Sam woke up. He took his time. He knew Dean was awake, and he knew Dean knew he was as well. Finally rolling over, he glanced at his brother. He frowned at what he saw. He didn't look as if he slept at all, eyes red rimmed and bloodshot. Face drawn. He thought back to last night. Could it be he wasn't the only one who had a nightmare or had he managed to upset his brother again?

"Hey." He said tentatively.

"Hey." Dean said just as hesitant.

"You alright?" Sam wanted to make sure.

"Are you?"

Ah. So it was about last night. Great. Sam really didn't want to talk about it. He knew how the conversation would go. "Fine." So he'd resorted to Dean's way of answering that question. It was what his brother wanted.

" 'Cause you didn't look fine."

Sam blinked. Had he really opened up this discussion? Ordinarily he'd have felt wary optimism, but now he just felt dejected. "I don't want to talk about it Dean."

Dean smirked, but it was a shadow of the norm. "You don't want to talk? Wow. You must be sick."

Sam felt a surge of anger. If he was going to mock him...

"How about I talk instead?"

Sam froze. "What?"

Dean's eyes were forlorn. "I need to talk to you Sam. I guess I put it off for too long. I wanted to believe I didn't need to. But last night..." He shook his head. "That shouldn't have happened. It's not right and I don't want you to feel like you're alone."

He met Sam's eyes, determined to see this through. "I don't want to die Sam. I don't want to leave you. I'm scared as hell man."

Sam's lungs burned as he forgot to draw in air, his rib cage felt tight. Was this really happening? He'd been praying, hoping that his brother would break his act and tell him how he was really feeling, but having it happen? It was a case of be careful what you wish for. He wanted to talk to Dean, share his burdens, but having his big brother admit how scared he was hurt more than any phsyical pain could.

"I don't want to go to hell. I don't want my life to be over. There's so much I want to do still. I want to be there to watch your back. I want to see you have a real life, meet my sister-in-law and nephews and nieces someday.'

Sam's eyes became wet, many thoughts screaming in his head as he listened.

"And - " Dean paused, hesitating to admit one of his biggest dreams. He looked at Sam's face. Open, honest, hanging on his every word. He was trusting Dean to end this nightmare. This was the start. He had to go all the way. They both needed this now. This burden was crushing them. "I want a family of my own too someday. Teach my kids to call you Uncle Sammy."Dean smiled, self-concious.

A single tear Sam couldn't hold back escaped. His voice cracked with emotion as he told Dean, "I want that too. All of it man. And we'll find a way. I just need you to work with me. It feels like you're working against me."

And he was, but there was a reason for it. Dean interupted. "Here's what I don't want. I don't want you to die Sam." Sam's face became confused. "I try to welch on this deal? You die. I have to be careful, we have to. I want to live, but not at your expense."

Sam shook his head. "Don't you realize I feel the same? All my life, you've always been there. How am I supposed to be okay without you? You're my big brother. I don't want to be the reason you die. I can't live with that. I won't."

Sam looked so earnest, so determined, Dean didn't want to pop his bubble with the despair he felt. He was afraid there was no way out. Still, he smiled at Sam's stubborn faith. Maybe his hope would be enough for the both of them.

"Guess we better hurry up and get you better so we can work on me next, huh?"

Sam returned the smile. Finally they were truly a team again. "Damn straight."

Their smiles soon faded as Sam suddenly grunted and made a familiar grimace.

"Ah crap." Dean said alarmed as he half stood and reached out to Sam. "Sammy?"

"Dean - "

Flashes assaulted Sam, bright and intense, thankfully more mild than the previous visions, but still bad enough to leave him aching and breathless. It felt like forever, but had only been moments.

"Sam? You with me?" Dean asked, his concerned face hovering in Sam's field of vision.

"Yeah." Sam finally forced out.

"Do I need to call the doctor in?" He was in big brother mode, hand over the call button.

Sam took Dean's outstretched arm to steady himself as he sat up. "I'm okay man, just give me a minute."

Dean frowned but did as asked, removing his hand and standing straight while still in reach if Sam needed him. "How bad this time?" He asked, knowing what had happened.

"Not so bad. Just one this time."

Thank God. No intersecting visions. That's all they'd need. Dean feared given Sam's current state a good set of visions could kill him. As it was he was suffering the effects of the last set. His leg was paralyzed. What if stopping the visions didn't cure that? His body needed time to recover. He couldn't afford set backs. They needed to stop this. Now. He felt an overwhelming urge to call Bobby, but didn't want to leave Sam so soon after an attack. He worried his lip.

Seeing Dean's tell tale sign of distress, Sam fought up a smile for him. "I mean it. I will be fine." He was actually a bit scared, but didn't want to upset Dean. Not moments ago his thigh had started to tingle, along with the right foot of his other leg. What this might mean he didn't know, but it didn't feel like anything good. Could this new vision have triggered more nerve damage? If felt so sudden, did it happen like that?

He used all he had to school his features. If Dean saw his fear he'd have to come clean. He wasn't ready to do that yet. It could be nothing. He'd wait. However a good freak out in private never hurt anyone. He just needed a few moments alone. "Did you call Bobby yet?" Nice change of subject.

Dean studied him, suspicions of the sudden question. "Not yet. I was going to in a few hours. Why?"

Sam went for casual. "I just figured you may as well check in now. Fill him in."

Dean still looked suspicious, but it was starting to ease. He'd just had another vision. Maybe he was as anxious as he was to get this taken care of. Nothing brings you into focus like being forcibly reminded of the situation. "I guess I can. I doubt he has anything yet, he probably just got there. But I'm sure he'll want to know about the latest developments." He looked sheepish. "I was actually supposed to call him when you woke up."

Sam's brows went up.

"I know, I should have. I got a little preoccupied what with you waking up, then the docs diagnosis and all of this." He gestured between the two of them.

Sam knew he meant from his nightmare up to now. He tilted his head. "I'm sure he'll understand."

Dean didn't look so certain, but said nothing. "So, you sure you're alright on your own for a few?"

Sam let out an annoyed puff of air coupled with an eye roll. "I'm an adult Dean. I can manage."

Dean scowled. "Whatever Samantha. I was just asking."

Sam smiled genuine now. "Go man. Seriously. I'm alright."

Dean nodded and left to make the overdue call. As soon as Sam was sure the coast was clear, he was feeling his now numb upper thigh and trying to wiggle his right foot. A glance under the blankets showed nothing doing. Sam felt icy fear pumping through his veins as his heart pounded. Sweat beaded on his forehead. Yet with all his concentration he couldn't make the foot move. It was as still as his leg. Not good. Not good at all.

Now what? Tell Dean? Call a nurse? Chances are there was nothing they could do for him anyway, not with this. It was a supernatural problem and it would take a supernatural solution. One he prayed Bobby found soon.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Outside Dean winced and pulled the cellphone away from his ear. Bobby wasn't as understanding as he'd hoped about the forgotten call. "Why didn't you tell me boy? I been worried sick over you both. Any news, we agreed, remember?"

He did. He knew Bobby was right. He'd be pretty mad if the roles were reversed. And he couldn't fault him for being cranky either after driving all night. "I know, I'm sorry. You're right."

Bobby gave a weary sigh. "No harm done. I understand how you feel. How is he really?"

Dean rubbed a hand over his face, then ruffled his hair. He was so tired. "Not as bad as they said it could be, but not okay either. He's got no feeling in his left leg up to his thigh. They said it could be nerve damage from the seizure, or it might clear up on it's own with rest. Give his body a chance to heal. But the visions, they're still coming, Bobby." Dean's voice was rough as his fear reflected the statement.

"Damnit." Bobby bit out. "When? How bad?"

"Just before I called you and we got lucky." He snorted. "If you can call it lucky. Only one this time. He seems fine, says he is. It's just - " Dean's hand fisted as he leaned against the wall. "I'm worried. What if he gets whammied like before? This could kill him and he's already weak."

Bobby was right there with Dean, stewing in his own helplessness. "I know kid. And we're working on it. Frank is already looking for it. He's got a meticulous record of books and the one we need is here somewhere." Among a near 1,000 volumes, but he didn't mention that. "He and I will track it down and I'll be back there ASAP."

"Have you even slept?" He was worried about Sam and in a hurry, but not that much. The poor guy had drove all night for them.

"No." He answered truthfully. "But I will shortly. What about you?" The kid was good but he could tell Dean was worn out. He had a habit of pushing himself too hard.

"A little." It was the truth, bare bones.

"Well, try and get some more. You sound exhausted."

Dean snorted. Good old Bobby. "Yeah. You too. I'll call and check in later."

After saying his goodbyes to Bobby, Dean leaned his head back on the brick front of the hospital and shoved his hands in his pockets. He didn't know what to do. He felt so useless. There was next to nothing he could do for sam but wait and he hated that. Patience had never been a strong point of his. As Sam had told him often.

His eyes burned. It felt like losing Dad all over again. Watching from the sidelines, powerless to stop it. He couldn't do that again. He couldn't lose Sam now. It would be too cruel after everything they'd been through. He didn't know if he'd still be around when the year was up, but Sam would if he had anything to say about it. Pushing off the wall, he turned for the entrance. He had to get back to Sam.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Sam sat on his bed staring ahead, not really seeing anything. He was so lost in his thoughts he didn't see the rooms new occupant enter. It wasn't until the shocked, "You're awake." was spoken he turned to see the dark haired man standing just inside.

Jack smiled apologetic. "Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. I just wanted to check in before my shift, see how you were doing. No one told me you were awake."

Sam only looked at the stranger, blinking. Did he know this guy? He seemed familiar.

"I'm Jack." The man said holding out his hand. After a few seconds hesitation Sam shook it. "It's nice to meet you properly."

The man was smiling again, Sam royally confused. Why did he sound so familiar, like he knew him or something? That question was answered when the man asked where Dean was and the object of discussion walked in. He looked at the newcomer surprised, then grinned.

"Jack, hey man." He glanced from Jack to Sam and with something like pride said, "Look who woke up."

"I see." Jack said warmly. "Good thing too. This guy here has been going crazy." He thumped his brother on the back and Dean laughed.

Sam's confusion upped and it must have shown on his face because Dean looked at him and said, "Jack was the EMT who worked on you till we got you to the hospital. He saved your life." Which explained a little of why Dean liked the guy so much.

Jack shook his head. "That was Dr. Richards. I didn't do much."

Dean brushed him off. "He's being modest. He's been a big help to us. And kept me sane while I waited for you to wake up." Catching himself entering potential chick territory, he added, "You know how bored I get."

Sam looked bemused. Realizing he owed the man his gratitude, Sam turned to look at him. "Thank you. For everything you did."

"It was no problem, really. I was happy to do it." He looked at Sam assessingly. "So how are you?" He knew what types of consequences came from a condition like Sam's. He hoped the younger brother had dodged the worse of it. Just him waking up had Jack giddy. Things had played out well so far, he didn't want to jump the gun though.

Dean lost his easy smile. He was happy Sam had woke up, but couldn't be as happy as he wanted. Not with Sam suffering side effects. "It uh, isn't as bad as the Doc said it could be, but there are some problems."

Jack felt his old fears creeping up.

"I can't feel my left leg." Sam said.

"The Doc said maybe nerve damage." Dean added.

Jack frowned, shoulders slumped. "Jeeze man, I'm sorry."

Sam shrugged. "I'm dealing. He said it might not be permanent." Barely dealing. He'd gotten himself together while Dean was outside. When they were alone he would be up-front with his brother about his latest sensation problems. And ask about this EMT. Not many checked on their calls like this. In fact, Sam had never heard of it. He was sure Dean had checked the guy out and deemed him safe. Otherwise he wouldn't be allowed near him. Dean always protected him.

Jack nodded. "You have to keep hope. That's a good outlook."

Sam smiled politely. Feeling awkward, Jack straightened and said, "Well, I better go. I just wanted to pop in. D and I have a shift in fifteen. I'll see you guys later."

Dean turned to him. "Tell Donna hi for me."

Jack smiled. "Will do."

As he left Sam looked at Dean. "Donna?"

"His partner. She drove the night he got our call."

"Ah." Sam shifted and sat back. Noting again the absence of movement or feeling in his foot.

"So what's the deal with this guy anyway? He seems to have taken an interest in us."

"He has."

Sam gave him a face. "And? Care to elaborate?"

Dean stretched. "Yeah, but after breakfast. I either have to eat or sleep. I'm running out of steam."

And he had to be to admit that. Dean wasn't working on all cylinders if he was saying so aloud. He frowned. "How long did you sleep? You look wasted." A bulb went off for Sam and he felt guilty. "You never went back to sleep after I woke you up, did you?"

Dean shrugged it off. "No big deal. Just didn't feel like sleeping."

Uhhuh. "Well go to bed man. We can talk later."

"You sure? It can wait."

"No it can't. You're exhausted, sit down before you fall down. I wouldn't mind a little extra shut eye myself."

Dean eyed Sam for honesty, but the truth was he was ready to fall down. The crappy chair he complained about so often was calling to him now. He was nearly out as soon as he touched it's surface.

Sam watched his brother sleep feeling guiltier by the moment. Dean was so worried about him he wasn't taking care of himself. He'd watched over him all night and how many others? He was relived they'd talked things out, but now he was debating on complete honesty. He wanted to keep this going, but at the same time he knew Dean didn't need any extra on his plate. He sighed to himself. This was so complicated.

Sam felt the comfy softness of the pillow behind him. His own eyes drooped. Ah, screw it. He joined his brother in sleep moments later.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

When he woke several hours later, he elected to wait for Dean to wake up before eating. They'd both slept through breakfast. It was just about lunch when Dean stirred. "Hey."

"Hey." Dean replied, stretching with a jaw popping yawn. He looked at his watch, blinking fuzzily. "Wow. It's late. Why'd you let me sleep so long?"

"You needed it."

Dean rubbed his hands down his jeans and stood. "Nature's calling." Sam laughed. "How about after I get us some grub?"

"Sounds good."

As his brother shuffled off, Sam felt a tiny trill of frustration. Must be nice to go on your own. Stupid catheter. He sighed, resigned as a nurse came in.

"Hello there." She smiled. "I noticed you slept through breakfast, would you like lunch?"

"I've got it." Dean said as he walked out of the bathroom. "I was just gonna run to the cafeteria." He frowned. "If that's okay? I mean, are there things he shouldn't eat?"

She shook her head. "A bland, easy diet is recommended for now. Until his body adjusts."

"Bland?"

"Like a turkey sandwich, nothing greasy or spicy."

"So healthy rabbit food?"

She laughed. "Yes."

"You're in luck Sam. That's how you eat anyway."

He scowled at his brother as the nurse said, "Once you've eaten, I'll send the doctor in to talk to you about the notes Dr. Bombay left him."

"Thank you." Sam told her.

She excused herself and Sam looked at Dean. "So what are you getting me? I'm starving."

Dean smiled. "Alica makes a mean turkey club. That work for you?" He nodded. "'Kay, then. I'll be right back."

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Dean did good. He came back soon enough with a pretty tasty looking turkey sandwich and a side of fresh vegetables with a cup of juice. The biggest shock of his life came when Dean opened his own box. He'd also gotten the turkey, though the vegies were replaced with chips. He didn't have soda, again it was juice, just like Sam had. He raised questioning eyes to his brother, who shrugged.

"Didn't want to eat stuff you can't have in front of you."

Sam smiled appreciating the sentiment. As they ate Dean filled Sam in on Jack's story.

Sam shoved his half eaten food back and looked at Dean. "So that explains it then. Poor guy." Sam knew a thing or two about the fear of losing someone. He took in the shadows still under his brother's eyes. They both did.

"Yeah. He's not a bad guy. It sucks, but he's turned it around." He smiled wryly. "He annoyed the hell out of me at first, hanging about, but he really helped out. I figured I'd put up with him hanging around till he came clean. Long as he didn't hit on me."

Sam rolled his eyes and Dean's smile grew. "What? I didn't know why he was hanging around."

Sam shook his head, but lost the battle and smiled too. Only Dean. "So what did Bobby have to say?"

Dean's smile dipped as the topic shifted. "He uh," He tried to brush off the heavy subject he was about to dive into and went with a joke instead. He just needed more time to think of how he'd tell Sam they hadn't found a way to help him yet. His brother hid it well, but he could tell he was scared. "He was mad as hell I didn't call sooner. You know how he can be."

Dean smiled crookedly, but it was forced and Sam knew something was wrong. He took on a worried frown. "Dean? What else did he say?"

Dean sighed and looked tired beyond his years. "He said they haven't found it yet. The book I told you about. The guy is sure he has it, but not where it is."

Sam felt a twinge of disappointment, but said aloud, "Well he did more or less just get there. We didn't expect it to be that easy."

Dean nearly let out a bitter laugh. He had. It should have been as simple as picking it up. But when did simple ever happen to them?

"They'll find it." Sam tried to sound more confident than he felt. Finding it in time was the problem.

As if knowing what he was thinking, Dean said, "I know. It's just we're kinda in a hurry, Sammy." These things are still coming and could kill you at any moment hung unsaid.

"I know." Sam said softly.

"Speaking of..." Dean hesitated, studying him. "That thing you had earlier. Do we need to call someone about that?"

Sam knew what he was asking and felt sick from the memory. The feelings, the blood. Their faces. "No." He forced out roughly. "It's too late."

Dean saw the expression on his brother's face and clenched his jaw. Damnit. The situation was feeling hopeless enough. Sam didn't need another hit to his morale. He was about to make some attempt at comfort when Dr. Richards knocked.

"Hello there. Ready for a check up?"

Sam tried to relax and nodded a hello. "As I'll ever be." Now it was time to put up or shut up. Tell the Doc and Dean about the loss of feeling or keep quiet? He sighed inwardly. The secrets were becoming tiresome. Dean was making an effort at full disclosure, he'd repay that with his own. His brother was going to freak.

"So how are you doing?" Dr. Richards asked. "I've been going over Dr. Bombay's notes and I think I agree with his assessment of your condition. The seizures could very well have triggered a reaction affecting your nervous system." He touched Sam's leg and foot, checking over for any sign of reaction or improvement. He remained silent as he made notes on Sam's chart.

"I uh... I feel about the same. But there has been a change." He didn't have to look to know Dean's full attention had shifted from the doctor to him now.

The doctor raised curious eyes to his face. "Yes?"

"I had a tingling sensation earlier this morning. I thought it would stop. It did, but now my thigh and other foot have no feeling."

"What?" His brother burst out.

The doctor's face peaked with concern while Dean's went from shock and despair to anger. "That was why you sent me outside wasn't it?" He bit out accusingly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Sam could see below the anger to the hurt in his brother's voice. He was contrite as he answered, regretful of hurting him. "I didn't want to worry you if it was nothing. I wanted to wait and see if it would get better."

Dean closed his eyes and swallowed his anger. "Sam." He groaned. This was so typical Sammy. The kid was going to make him go gray.

Dr. Richards frowned as he checked his patient. No reaction at all. He stood and looked at them both. "It appears the loss of sensation has spread." He looked hard at Sam. "Did something happen? I need the truth if we're going to help you Sam." He was worried the young man was withholding his condition from him.

Sam knew nothing the man could do would help him, but he could tell he did want to. He was only doing his job. Grudgingly he confessed his episode that morning. He could tell Dr. Richards was displeased.

"You should have alerted us right away. There are drugs we can try, things we can give you to try and stem these episodes. We may have been able to do more for you."

He cut a look to Dean and Sam jumped to his brother's rescue, covering for the 'oversight' on their part. "Next time I'll tell Dean or the nurse."

The man looked doubtful, but let it slide. The young man made it sound like the older brother didn't see it happen. "Please be sure you do. I can't stress enough how serious this is. As it stands, until we can figure out what's causing it, I don't want to put you on any medication. Medicating without the whole picture can make a condition worse. However, given the progression of the nerve damage, I'd like to give you something to attempt preventing further trauma to your body."

Sam looked at Dean, who shared his dislike of this idea. They knew no drug would stop the visions and he didn't want to take something he didn't need. "I don't like taking drugs doctor."

The man raised incredulous brows and sputtered. "But-"

"I'd like to think about it. Okay?"

The doctor snapped his mouth shut. Clearly unhappy. But Sam was firm. This was his choice. "Of course." He said reluctantly. "Let me know what you decide." He turned back as he made to leave the room. "I recommend you do take the medicine, Sam. You can't leave this untreated. It's dangerous."

Sam nodded but said nothing. Dr. Richards closed the door and Dean blew out a breath as he slid down into the chair, hand running through his hair. "Crap."

"Yeah."

"What do we do?"

"I'm not taking unnecessary drugs, so I guess... we just keep any future seizures to ourselves."

Dean huffed. "That should be easy." He said sarcastically.

"Ya think?" Sam smirked darkly.

Dean bit his lip. "Are you sure that's the best idea though? I mean, these visions are kicking your ass, Sam. What if something happens that they could help with? If we don't tell them..." He trailed off.

The dilemma was palpable. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. They were screwed.

"I don't know man. We know the visions are causing it, but they can't stop it from happening. The only time they could help is if and when I have some freak breathing lapse like before."

Dean scowled at how casually Sam talked about it. Noting it, Sam threw his hands up. "What do you want me to say, Dean? It is what it is. I don't know what else to do."

Neither did he which pissed him off all the more. He was the big brother, it was his job to make things better. "So we wing it."

Sam half nodded in off handed agreement. "Well, we're good at that." Dean snarked.

Sam chuckled. Against his will Dean smiled. As worried as they both were, they needed to keep calm. Hearing Sam laugh always grounded him. Sam had enough to worry about. He'd have to try and keep his brother's spirits up. And that would help him too.

As Sam watched his brother smile, he couldn't help feel the same. They just had to get through this, then they could break the deal and Dean would be free. They both would.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

The next evening brought hope. Bobby called Dean to tell him some much needed good news. They'd found the book. Dean sagged bonelessly back in the cafeteria chair and sighed. "Thank God."

He and Sam had tried to keep upbeat, but it wasn't easy. Sammy still had no feeling in his leg or foot. The longer that went on, well, it couldn't be good could it? What if it caused permanent damage? Dean had been worrying about it and he knew despite Sam's attempts to play it off, he was too.

"So what does it say, can it helps us?"

Bobby scratched his chin as he read over the pages in front of him. "I sure hope so, kid. There's a spell in here that says it can dampen and possibly bind a strong power in a host. At the least we may be able to sever the link with the demons. The recipe is gonna be hard to make, some of these ingredients are hard to find. I'm working on it now, I have some of it back at my place, but the rest -" Bobby let the words hang there.

Dean tried to keep his hope afloat with the doubt he now felt. All this and still the results were a long shot. Still, a maybe was better than nothing. He'd take what he could.

"How's Sam?"

Dean rubbed a hand over tired eyes. "Scared, even though he won't admit it. And bored too I think. It's making him crazy he can't get out of bed."

He'd been trying to keep Sam entertained playing cards, but it didn't last more than an hour. Like him, Sam wasn't used to staying in one place long. He needed to be moving, active. Now that he was confined to a bed, he was becoming irritable and snippish. He'd bit Dean's head off several times until Dean finally decided they both needed a little space and came down to the cafeteria while Sam cooled off.

Hearing the weariness in the young man's voice, Bobby tried to smooth things over. "Be patient, Dean. He doesn't mean it, he's just going through a lot now."

Dean took a sip of his tepid coffee. "I know that and I'm trying, it's just... he won't let go of the deal Bobby. Even with everything that's going on, he won't focus on himself, he's back to me."

And that was what had caused the fight that sent him downstairs. Trying to ease Sam's boredom, he'd brought his brother's lap top for him to relax and stay distracted. What he didn't know was that Sam planned to distract himself by working on Dean's deal.

He hadn't noticed at first. Flipping through awful daytime tv or reading a magazine the nurse had brought. But after a while he caught how agitated Sam seemed to be getting. Brow puckered, lips taunt, eyes angry. Dean felt his concern tick up, this was supposed to relax Sam. Instead it looked like just the opposite. He wanted to ask what was wrong, but sensed with his big brother intuition Sam wouldn't tell him. So he acted as if he was going to get a tissue from Sam's bedside and glanced over his brother's shoulder at the screen. He felt his own face tighten as he saw the site Sam was surfing.

Damnit. Now was not the time to be working on his deal. Sam was ill, he needed to concentrate on himself. The words came out before he could stop them and then, the fight started.

"What the hell, Sam?"

Sam's head snapped right and he knew he'd been caught. Instantly defensive, he raised his chin at a stubborn angle. "What? You brought this up for me to distract myself. I'm doing that." With research.

"No you aren't Sam. You're trying to break the damn deal when you should be focusing on getting better."

Sam's jaw went tight and his eyes narrowed. "And you aren't important at all right? Not while I need saving? Well, what about you Dean? We're wasting time while I'm laying here useless in this bed."

"You're blowing this out of proportion Sam. We talked about this. Me after you, remember?"

"How can you say that? The deal is coming due, time is running out, and we're stuck here. Because of me. Not knowing how long this will take. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

About the same as me watching you die in front of me - again. It was probably pretty close to how Sam felt watching him as the days ticked by. Even so, this had to stop. "I won't have you stressing yourself Sam. It's not good for you." He said taking the lap top, catching Sam off guard, and moving it to the table across the room.

Sam glowered. "Stressed? Are you joking? Our whole lives are stressful. I won't just lay here when I can do something. Even if it's just research, I have to try." He held his hand out. "Give me back the lap top Dean." He had work to do.

"No."

Sam's nostril's flared. "Man, I mean it, give it back."

"I meant it too, no."

His face got red. "It's my computer!"

"Yeah, but you aren't using it to look up stuff on me. Sorry Sam, it's for your own good." Surely Sam could see that.

Apparently not. It had escalated to a yelling match between the two of them, swearing and finally Sam telling him he was a hypocritical sonofabitch. His brother was now more worked up than before. Great job there, Dean.

Taking the safe route, he left before Sam got too upset, or worse, threw him out. He was sure Sam was still up there, stewing.

Bobby shook his head as Dean finished his story. He raked his hand through his hair and exhaled. These two were going to make him bald. "Darn it, Dean."

"I know."

"Do you?" Dean frowned as Bobby continued. "That boy is scared and desperate, feeling more helpless than ever now. Research is all he has to hold on to. Do you think telling him not to worry about it will make it happen? Would it for you if Sam said the same thing?"

No, it wouldn't. He'd always worry about Sam. He could no more stop looking out for him than he could go without air. Yet he'd expected Sam to do just that. "Crap." He was doing it again. He hated when Sam was right.

"Okay, Bobby. I'll talk to him."

The man on the other end gave a small smile. "Good boy. And while you work on that, I'll be on this. I'm already packing to head back home for the herbs and items I have, I'll hopefully have what I need when I get there. My contacts are to rush the other stuff to me as soon as they can find it." He'd called in a lot of favors. "When I get it all, translate the passage and head back your way, we'll fix that brother of yours."

Dean gave his own smile. "Thanks man."

"Anytime kid."

As they hung up, Dean worried his lip. Fix Sam. Now he had two things to fix. He hoped his brother had calmed down enough to listen.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Sam scrolled through and then clicked off the site he was reading, opening the next one. After Dean had left, he'd fumed silently over their argument. The jerk. He had no right. He was asking too much of Sam. Things he wouldn't even ask of himself. How dare he tell Sam to let it go, then take his computer from him like he was some naughty child.

To top it off, he'd walked out. He was so resentful Dean could just get up and leave anytime he wanted. Leave like Sam had wanted to. He'd longed to march to the door and slam it in Dean's face. But he couldn't. He was stuck in this damn bed. It was a new kind of hell. He hated it. He felt trapped, like he was suffocating. Dean didn't understand why it was so important for him to do this. If he focused on his brother, not himself, it helped him cope. And it was important. He hadn't been lying to Dean when he'd expressed concern over losing time. They couldn't afford that.

After a few moments of pouting, he gave a dark smirk. Pushing the call button, he waited for the nurse to come see what he wanted. He wasn't totally helpless, he had his wits. He'd show Dean. This wasn't the final word.

As the sweet nurse came in and asked what he needed, he smiled fake and apologetic, pointing to the lap top and saying he'd forgot to ask for it before his brother went out. Could she hand it to him, please? He was going crazy in bed all day. She smiled, understanding how the poor boy must feel and handed him the requested item. He grinned, genuine now, and thanked her. Booting up, he picked up where he'd left off. No one and nothing was stopping him from saving his brother. Not even Dean.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Dean pulled up short just outside his brother's door. He wasn't sure if he should knock or just go in. If Sam was still angry, he may tell him to go away. He'd had an idea downstairs and after talking it over with Sam's doctor, he got the okay. He hoped the appeal of getting outside for the first time in days would be enough to persuade Sam to come with him. Then he'd have to do what was so hard for him, let go of big brother mode and apologize. Seemed he was doing a lot of that lately.

Deciding, he knocked while opening the door simultaneously. He looked in and paused, puzzled. A tight faced Sam sat on the computer ignoring him. Huh. He fought the smile coming on. His little brother was more resourceful than he'd thought. He took a step inside. "Sam, I - "

"What Dean?" He bit out, not looking up.

He shook his head slightly. He expected this. Guess I better bring in the peace offering now or I'll get nowhere. He pushed a wheelchair into the room, causing Sam to finally pause and look up perplexed.

"What's that?"

Dean smirked. "I know you're under the weather Sammy, but don't tell me you forget what a wheelchair is."

Sam huffed, annoyed. "I know what it is, Dean. I mean what's it doing here?"

The older brother shrugged. "I thought you might wanna break out of here for a bit."

Sam's eyes widened comically with excitement. "Yeah?"

"Mmhm. Cleared it with your doctor, as soon as we get you set up, we can head on out to the garden in back." He paused. Maybe his brother would prefer some place other than the garden. "If that's alright with you." He added.

"That's great." Temporarily forgetting he was annoyed with his brother, Sam grinned, nearly bouncing in bed. He was getting out of this room. Finally. He wanted to whoop in joy.

Dean did smile then, reminded of a five year old Sam. "Let's get you set up then." He motioned in the hall and a nurse and orderly came in. Gently they placed Sam in the wheelchair. Though in his hospital scrubs, the nurse gave him a blanket to cover with. "Just in case."

As Dean pushed him to the elevator, then down and out to the hospital's botanical garden, he knew he wouldn't need it. The day was comfortably warm and a slight breeze ruffled Sam's hair as he enjoyed the sun on his face. He'd missed this so much. The pleasure in such a simple thing as being outdoors.

Dean watched him quietly as Sam sunned himself. Poor kid had been cooped up for so long he'd gotten a little pale. He could tell this idea had been the right choice. Sam was completely at peace, relaxing in the sunshine. Yet he didn't want to broach the subject, wasn't ready or willing to interrupt this moment for his brother. Later.

They sat in companionable silence for about ten minutes when Sam finally looked at him and smiled, laid back. "Thanks."

Dean smiled with a one shoulder shrug. "You needed a break from that room. I wish I'd thought of it sooner."

Sam continued to smile softly, but said nothing, instead turning to gaze out at all the beautiful flowers. Dean took the time to gather his thoughts before he quietly said, "Sam?"

His brother turned to him. "Hm?"

"I wanted to say - I mean... about before?"

Sam kept his expression neutral, it was obvious his brother was trying. He'd listen to whatever he had to say.

"I'm sorry."

"I know." He knew this trip was Dean's way of trying to make it up to him. Doing some thinking of his own, he knew as angry as he was, even if he didn't agree, he'd been a little out of line too. "Me too."

Dean's mouth twisted in confusion. "Why are you sorry?"

"I wasn't fair either. I didn't mean half of what I said. I was frustrated, I took it out on you."

Dean shook his head. "I sort of deserved it. I was a jerk. You were right, Sam." Sam opened his mouth and Dean held up a hand. "You were. I didn't want to hear it, but it's true. I was being a hypocrite." His eyes were somber as he looked at him. "I understand how you feel. Better than you think."

Sam's own eyes were somber now. "I know that too." He half smiled. "Truce?"

Dean laughed a little, then nodded, smiling. "Truce."

Sam smiled and Dean looked around them. "So, wanna stay out here a while longer?"

"Sounds good."

They sat quietly talking for the next half hour, a new sense of peace around them.

Author's Note: Okay, tell the truth, who doesn't like some angst and brotherly fluff? I hope you all like Jack, I didn't intend at first to keep him around, but he's grown on me.