Sirius stopped outside of the doorway to their dorm room, looking down at his hands, which he clenched and unclenched. He realized that he had no idea what he was going to say to James. Its not like, "Sorry mate." could exactly cover it, and he knew that James would be embarrassed if he tried to have some sort of sentimental talk with him. Also the fact that James was blind when it came to Lily Evans didn't help the matter much, its not like he could talk sense into him and convince him to go after some other girl.
He was in the action of turning on his heel and retreating back quietly down the stairs when a muffled sobbing reached his ears. He froze, heart clenching painfully. This was his best friend! He couldn't just leave him to his own misery! Thats what best friends were for right? Forcing their way into each others problems so that no one had to be alone in their struggles. Right?
He bit his lip, shifting so that he faced the familiar doorway. He may not know what to say to James....but maybe he didn't actually need to say anything at all. He quietly muttered, "Oh what the hell." before twisting the doorknob and stepping into the dorm room cautiously.
James was crying on the floor, leaning against the footboard of his bed as if he couldn't hold himself up. A green shirt was halfway up his arms as if he had been in the act of putting it on when he had stopped halfway through. His glasses lay on the floor some distance away, looking as if they had been thrown there carelessly.
Hugging himself, James gasped in surprise at the sight of Sirius standing in the doorway. Blushing, he scrubbed roughly at his eyes with one shaking hand while trying to stand up. Legs shaking as he brought himself to a halfway standing position, he suddenly slipped and fell backwards, cracking his head against the bed behind him. James landed on his side, his back to Sirius, and sobbed, curling himself into a ball with shaking hands clutching his head. To Sirius, it looked more like he was trying to hold his head together rather than ease the pain in his head..
He lay there, green shirt forgotten on the floor beside him, lean shoulders wracked with harsh sobs for a few moments until he felt a cold and wet nose touch the smooth skin of his back. Vaguely aware of what was going on around him, James didn't resist when a large black dog softly shoved its head in between his shaking arms and bare chest, causing him to hug its neck.
Sirius sat there with James' arms faintly grasping his neck, wondering if this had been a good idea after all, when James surprised him. All of a sudden, instead of loosely hugging Padfoot, he was clutching the dog to his chest as if it was the only thing keeping him from drowning. Fingers laced through soft black fur, grabbing big fistfuls as James pressed his tear-stained face against him.
Something fractured in Sirius' heart when he heard the soft whimpers escaping James. "What's wrong with me Padfoot?"
The black dog looked curiously down into the upturned face of his friend. James' clear and attractive features were twisted into a painful grimace, his beautiful and warm hazel eyes glittering with tears. Sirius snorted in disbelief at this statement, causing James' black, unruly hair to blow around his head, earning a small smile from his fellow marauder. Padfoot took this moment to stand up, dragging James to a sitting position.
Biting his lip, a few tears escaping to trickle down his flushed face, James sat against the foot board again, clasping his arms to his chest tightly. "I-I just." he swallowed as he turned his gaze upon the halfway opened door, "I've tried everything! I focus in my classes, I don't brag about anything anymore, and I haven't cast one spell on slimey Snivellus' head this whole year!" Sirius growled in disapproval but James continued.
"Every day that I can't have her, it gets harder. Why can't she love me back? What's wrong with me? Am I really ugly or something?" This last comment came out really rushed and ended in a sob, James hugging Padfoot tightly again. The big black dog shook his head, rubbing soft fur comfortingly against him..
"I tried to stop loving her, like you said. But how could I do that? I love everything about her...I used to get her to yell at me just so I could hear her voice." he whispered confidentially into a black doggy ear, voice cracking, "I just can't do that." And with that he fell into tears again, repeating brokenly, "I can't, I just can't." into his friend's warm fur.
James, pitifully murmuring about his love for the girl who had reduced him to this, didn't even notice as Sirius managed to drag him over to his bed or cover him with blankets. His crying had died down into soft heart-broken whimpers and he trembled with exhaustion, twisting in his covers from time to time. Sirius sat and watched him, feeling a little embarrassed to see his normally confident friend's deeply personal distress, but mostly feeling loving and protective. It had started to get late, judging by the darkness creeping silently through the windows, and James appeared to have fallen into a fitfull half-sleep. The dog quietly stood up, muslcles aching from staying still so long, shook himself out and trotted back to the door.
As Sirius skipped happily back down the stairs into the warm and cheerful Gryffindor common room, stretching out his cramped arms, Remus looked up at him expectantly. Grinning cockily, Sirius swaggered over to his two marauders, who were currently sitting with Lily Evans and her friends around a game of wizard chess. Remus looked questioningly at him and Sirius winked at him, laughing when Peter, who was standing behind Remus, winked back.