Disclaimer: I obviously don't own it. It's all for fun.
Mak is of course my beta; who is amazing.
Summary: Hermione and Severus have returned from Russia. What does life have in store for them now? The sequel to Fighting For His Freedom. I hope you enjoy this little fic. Let me know what you think and review.
Sorry it took so long to post! I should be updating more consistently, every two weeks.
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Chapter Four
The Greatest Danger Could Be Your Stupidity...In Bed
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"That wasn't too bad, was it?" Hermione said happily, as she flopped down into the huge brown leather sofa.
"You must be joking," Severus replied, as he unpacked some heavy tomes from the last brown box in their library. "It was an utter hassle. After all of this, you must be reconsidering my proposal for a house elf."
Hermione turned her head towards her husband and scowled at him. Severus just raised an eyebrow. "No. We do not need a house elf. I think we managed unpacking just fine. It's not like we had to do everything by hand; our wands reduced the work load tremendously."
"We could have finished within days, not weeks, Hermione. One house elf is not much to ask. It's not like we would treat it like Lucius treated his."
"Ha! It's not like it takes much to treat an elf better than he did."
Severus sighed heavily, "You aren't going to bend are you?"
"Absolutely not." Hermione relaxed back into the oversized couch and breathed in the new leather smell. Their new house had been built from their design and finally completed a few weeks ago.
Severus had been very unhappy with the prospect of furniture shopping, so he suggested Narcissa aid Hermione in procuring the necessary items to furnish their new home. The look he received from his wife when she saw Narcissa standing in their living room ready to shop was priceless. Hermione had it in her mind to make him sleep on the couch when she returned, but she had such a surprisingly good time with Narcissa that she forgot all about her earlier promise regarding her husband's sleeping arrangements.
Hermione had found Narcissa to be quite knowledgeable in interior decorating and she found herself having regular conversations with the blonde haired witch. The furniture and other odds and ends were set up in the house before they decided to move their belongings in. Only their clothing, books, and a few pieces of furniture made it from Spinner's End to their new home in Scotland. The remaining objects were sold with the house.
Hermione had tried her best to shop around for the best prices and not to overspend too much on furniture and other necessary things to make the house a home. All the penny-pinching she had done while shopping seemed to be waste when she had seen the equipment and tools Severus had purchased for his lab.
"Severus!" she has screamed, making him jump in surprise.
Severus steadied the beaker before he turned around to glare at her. "Yes, Hermione?" he asked threateningly.
"How much did you spend? This is all top of the line, Severus," Hermione said as she walked around the granite toped counter to look at the brand new cauldrons, in every size, that were lined up on their own shelf.
"We can afford it," Severus replied nonchalantly.
"This had to cost a small fortune—"
"I will not lower my standards based on cost alone. These are all necessary tools in a very expensive profession. It will be many years before we will need to purchase new equipment so it is better to spend a 'small fortune,' as you say, now than to spread it out over time," Severus reasoned.
"Fine, but I'm not thrilled that you didn't consult me first," Hermione said.
"Just like you consulted me with all those rugs, and sofas?" Severus asked, with a raised eyebrow.
"Touché."
Severus nodded and turned back to setting up the beaker properly. "If you would like to assist me, I still need to sort out ingredients, label, and bottle them."
Hermione smiled brightly, "I would love to."
XXX
Wedded life was not always bliss, especially when it came to Severus and Hermione Snape. There were plenty of times they wanted to kill each other, but they had to learn to deal with each others nuances. One source of great contention was the library.
Their library had been split in two sections; one full of Hermione's book collection and the other for Severus's. They even had separate desks, on opposite sides of the room. The only common ground they shared consisted of an ornate area rug, placed in front of the fireplace, with a large coffee table and the oversized leather couch. It was perfect, except they continually drove each other crazy.
It did not take long for their orderly arrangement to become a disaster zone. These two highly intelligent people had their own extensive collection and way of organizing these books, which completely confused the other. The coffee table was cluttered with stacks of books they each needed for separate research projects.
Occasionally, a book would go missing from one of their collections. In an attempt to sneak a book past his wife, Severus had "borrowed" one of Hermione's books from the coffee table and used it. However, he failed to file it back into its proper place.
Hermione had been looking for another book, when she ran across the book that had been put back in the incorrect location. She removed the book from its position and turned to her husband, who was scratching away rapidly on a piece of parchment.
"Darling husband," Hermione said sarcastically, which made Severus look up at her with apprehension. "If you insist on stealing my books, I would greatly appreciate it if you could return them to their proper place."
"My darling wife," Severus replied with fake sympathy, "I would never steal anything of yours. I might, occasionally, borrow one, but I would never steal. That's just wrong. Perhaps you misplaced it yourself when you stayed up until three-thirty in the morning."
"Don't you dare Severus Snape! I would never place a potions book in the Transfiguration section!"
"Well, perhaps it's your organization that confused you…"
"NO! My method of organization is completely sound. For your information, borrowing means that I have been consulted first and given you permission to use it, but since none of that occurred, it was theft."
"Are you suggesting I'm a thief?"
"Oh, I'm not suggesting…"
"Of course you wouldn't," Severus interrupted, "I am no thief." With that, Severus stood and walked away, leaving his angry wife alone in the library to re-shelf the "stolen" book.
XXX
Severus was trying to enjoy a shower. "Trying to", being the key phrase. When he had designed the bathroom, he certainly had not taken into consideration the shelf full of shampoo and conditioner his wife would need. As the four jets of water descended upon him, he tried to locate his lone bottle of shampoo.
Her shampoo. Her conditioner. Her shampoo. Her other shampoo. Another bloody conditioner. Fuck!
"Hermione!" Severus bellowed, from behind the glass wall, separating the shower and vanity.
"Yes, Severus?" Hermione asked, he could hear her brushing her teeth.
"Where the bloody hell is my shampoo?" Severus looked through five more bottles, all hers.
"How should I know? I didn't put it in the shower in the first place."
"Why the hell do you need so many damn bottles," he muttered to himself.
"What was that?"
"Nothing," he replied, a little louder for her hear.
Hello. There you are. Severus went to reach for his little bottle of homemade shampoo, but the oversized bottle of conditioner in front of it was knocked to the floor, landing on his foot.
"BLOODY HELL!" Severus screamed. He grabbed his foot with his right hand and momentarily lost his balance. Using his left hand he tried to steady himself, but ended up grabbing another bottle of Hermione's. The water had made the plastic bottle slick and he could not properly grasp it causing him to pull the bottle off the shelf, along with a few others.
One bottle landed on his other foot and he growled in frustration. Bottles rolled on the floor and as he put his right foot down, an empty bottle separated him from the floor. Stepping in the middle of the bottle, the two ends popped up and wrapped around his foot, pinching it. Severus jerked his foot back and lost his balance again. Due to the lack of friction, and becoming too off balance, he literally slid out of the shower, past Hermione and barely stopped himself from falling into the hot tub.
Hermione had seen Severus skid past her and couldn't help but spit her toothpaste out of her mouth and onto the mirror. She was doubled over in fits of laughter watching as her husband pried her squashed pink bottle of curl relaxant from his foot. When Severus was finally able to stand up straight he glared at her with as much hate as he could muster.
"Why do you need five shampoos and five conditioners!?" Severus roared, as he picked up a bottle and threw it on the ground in anger.
Hermione was still not able to completely answer him so she just continued to laugh.
"Honestly woman, a simple Scourgify does the job, just as well!"
"Severus Snape! That is not the same at all, and maybe you should try some of my tricks, because clearly you are no expert on the topic!" Hermione stomped her foot and stormed out of the bathroom in a huff.
"Insufferable woman…." He mumbled, and he picked up the bottle of shampoo and tossed it in the trash can.
With a flick of his wand, he cleaned the huge toothpaste streak on the mirror and followed the path of his annoyed spouse. Stark naked, he didn't care; he was going to have his wicked way with his wife wherever he found her.
A/N
With regards to the bathroom, this is the layout:
To the left of the door is a vanity with two sinks. The mirror behind the sink goes all the way to the ceiling. The mirror is one of the walls of the shower, which is behind the sink. You walk around the vanity and the open ended shower is behind that. Four jets of water spraying at you, two on each side. The shelf of shampoo is on the opposite wall of the mirror wall. Across from the door is the Jacuzzi with a rounded window giving an excellent view of the grounds. A banya is to the right of the Jacuzzi and the toilet is beside that.