I own my orange scarf! Not Twilight!

Oh, and please read the author's note at the end of the chapter. Please?

Bella Swan

"You're wrong," Edward whispered to himself. "You're perfect…"

I stopped breathing, getting lost in my thoughts. I wasn't perfect, I was ordinary. I would even say I was a little under-average. I didn't understand why Edward would say that about me. He met Rosalie just today—and Alice was his sister. Short, stylish, peppy Alice; she was going to be great with Jasper.

I smiled a little to myself; Jasper had been alone for too long. He deserved someone who loved him, and it looked like he had found her. My smile faded abruptly. When would I find someone who loved me? I thought back to the times I thought I knew.

Jacob and I were walking across the beach, a routine thing at this point. I loved it. He slipped his hand in mine. I smiled shyly up at him, looking back down quickly when my face warmed. Jacob's fingers went under my chin, coaxing my face up.

"Bella…" He whispered. The butterflies in my stomach multiplied. "Yes, Jake?"

He straightened up, blushing himself. "Um…how did you like dinner?" I laughed in spite of myself. That was so awkward. Jake grinned. "Okay, that wasn't what I was going to say. I actually wanted to ask you something…"

"Sure, what's up?"

He looked nervous. "Um, well…what does a girl really want?"

I stopped in my tracks. "What a girl really wants?" Jacob looked relieved I had caught on quickly. "Well, yeah."

I pulled my hand out of his, walking towards the sunset. "I guess…well, a girl doesn't really want clothes, money, or other stuff. All I…all a girl really wants is for someone to love them more than anyone has ever loved anyone, ever. A girl wants love. She wants that feeling of being hugged, being kissed. I…I don't know. A girl wants the feeling of not being alone. She wants the feeling of being safe."

I felt warm arms wrap around me from behind. "Do you feel safe?" Jacob whispered in my ear. I shivered as I felt his teeth graze my ear.

"Safer than I've ever felt before."

A tear slid down my cheek onto my blank sheet of notebook paper. I snapped out of my flashback, only too aware of Edward's eyes on me. I pretended not to notice. I need to think about something else, I thought desperately.

My thoughts turned to Edward instead. He was really nice. He had that air of "awkward" about him; it reminded me irresistibly of myself, a little bit. He had pretty bronze hair; pale, smooth skin; and the most amazing green eyes.

Those eyes were gorgeous, with little flecks of hazel in them. It was a pity they were locked behind such thick glasses; Edward seemed to be the stereotype of a dork, now that I thought about it. I shook my head. Edward was just…Edward. I didn't know enough about him to make a judgment, but Rosalie and Jasper seemed to really like him. When Edward had ran out, Rosalie smacked the back of my head and stormed out after him. I was confused until Emmett and Jasper leaned in close to me, speaking in reprimanding tones. Edward is a really great guy, Bella. Could you try not to be a bitch? Emmett had quite a way with words.

I felt absolutely terrible about lunch. What was I thinking? I turned my back on someone who had no idea what was going on with Jacob. Edward probably thought I was being hostile to him because I didn't like him. The truth was, Alice's words may have had harmless intentions but they ripped bullet holes through me. "Don't mind him, Bella; he just really likes you…"

I wish. I wish someone liked me. I was happy with my friends but let's face it: Every girl wants more.

The bell rang then, and I hastily wiped my face and put my books away. That was another class completely wasted; I didn't learn a thing. Edward was putting his books away too, so I peeked at his schedule to see what he had next. Spanish. Wanting to make up for my stupid act in lunch, I tried to be helpful.

"Hey Edward, you need help finding your next class? I can walk you, if you want."

Edward straightened up, looking slightly saddened by my asking. I was confused; what did I say?

"I'm pretty sure I can find it on my own, thanks." I stared at him for a second before it hit me. He thought I was making a slam on his masculinity by offering to walk him to his class. Oh. I hurried to rectify my mistake.

"Oh, okay. Well then I hope you don't mind walking me to my class? It's a big school, you know, I could get lost…" I trailed off, feeling less and less sure of myself. Edward grinned at me. I relaxed, satisfied. "Sure, Bella."

We walked in pleasant company to the last class of the day, which was Gym for me. Edward was a nice person: A little shy, but sweet all the same. Outside the gym doors, I steeled myself and turned to him.

"Thanks for walking me, Edward! Um, I'll see you after school? Let's walk to the parking lot together…?" Jeez, could I get any more awkward? Edward's going to think I'm a joke.

Edward smiled a crooked, brilliant smile that I instantly wished I had. With that smile, I could easily look past his textbooks and glasses and corduroys and see a person just like anyone else, except maybe better. I was dazed until his smooth voice broke through my abstractions. "Of course, Bella, I'll meet you here when class is over, okay?" I was thrilled.

I walked into the locker room, tripping over a backpack and almost knocking over Jessica. "Watch it, bitch!" Jessica teased. I rolled my eyes, amused. Jessica was always looking around for the next coolest thing; apparently swearing at your friends was it. I started changing, dreading the volleyball game to come.

"Ugh, Bella, did you see that new dork Cullen kid? Jesus, you'd think with a sister like his he'd have a little more fashion sense, but…he's wearing corduroys, Bella, did you see him?" Jessica whined as if his corduroys had done her a personal wrong. I was a little annoyed.

"Yeah, Jess, I saw him. He's really nice, you shouldn't talk about him like that," I tried to stick up for him, but it backfired. There was a new light in Jessica's eyes. "Oh my God! Are you going out with him? I mean, I know Jacob cheated on you but you could do better than Edward, don't you think? Is he good in bed? Or is it the money? Bella, tell me everything!" She commanded. "He really isn't that bad, now that I think about it. He's cute in that dorky way!"

I sighed. "No, Jess, I'm not going out with him. He's cute, though," I blushed. "I'm just not over Jacob yet…"

Jessica leaned in conspiratorially. "Yeah, I heard about Leah. Word around the street is that she slept with him…twice, begging for him to keep her. Well, obviously he did. Guess he enjoyed the sex." Jessica made a disgusted sound at the back of her throat. "I bet you were better though, Bella, so don't worry, okay?"

Hmph. I was not better than Leah. I opened my mouth. "I didn't sleep with him. I…I was just scared, and it didn't feel right. He said he was fine with waiting but I guess not." To my horror, traitor tears sprang into my eyes. I turned around quickly to hide my face. Jessica was oblivious, still processing the new tidbit of gossip. I sighed, turning to head out of the locker room for a bout of pure torture.

…

"Ow…Ow…OW! Don't touch it!" My wrists were bruised from the many times the other team, sensing a weakness, sent the ball right at me. Since the gym teacher grades based on effort, I had to try, right? "Ouch!"

Edward pulled back quickly, the icepack in his hand. "Sorry!" I gritted my teeth, walking with him towards the parking lot.

He put the icepack back on my wrist with surprising gentleness. We had reached my truck, leaning against it and just talking while we waited for our friends.

"Favorite color?"

"Green" I replied unthinkingly. Edward tilted his head. "why?"

I looked down. "No reason…"

But then I made the mistake of looking up and seeing his gorgeous emerald eyes. I blushed, making Edward chuckle.

"Okay, now I have to know."

"It's just…your eyes are pretty" I blurted out. Your eyes are pretty? You're such a loser, Bella! Could you not have thought of a MORE awkward way to say that?" Edward opened his mouth, then shut it again. I looked behind him and panicked.

"Oh no, hide me!" I hid behind a very confused Edward. "Bella?"

I waited until Leah and Jacob had driven out of the parking lot, and gave a sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I was just avoiding Jacob." Edward laughed. "And you thought hiding behind me was effective?"

"Well, it obviously was," I said, annoyed. Edward sobered up, a twinkle in his eye.

"So, I believe we were saying something about my eyes?" I flushed. "I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"Oh, not at all, Bella. I really appreciate the compliment" Edward had leaned into me, perhaps unconsciously. I looked at his soft lips, wanting for a second nothing more than to kiss him.

"Hey Bella! Hey Edward!" Emmett boomed. Edward started and turned around, relaxing when he saw the gang heading towards us. I took the time to calm myself. I was obviously going crazy.

…

Weeks passed by, and Edward and I were really close friends. I would say he was my closest friend, except for Alice. I had already gone shopping twice with her, and thoroughly hated every minute of it. There was just something about Alice that made you want to love her, though.

Me and Alice were walking through the mall, Edward trailing behind looking somewhat weary. I felt almost as bad for him as I did myself. I was now holding five different bags at this point, and I wish I could say they were for Alice.

Edward had put his foot down some years ago about Alice buying clothes for him and I wish I knew how he did it. Alice explained that Edward liked his own style, even though it was 'dorky'. The deal was that Alice wouldn't try to buy him anything, but Edward would have to accompany her shopping. I thought that was fair enough, I guess.

"Bella, we need to make one more stop!" Alice said.

I was perplexed. "Alice, we've been through every single store in the mall. Which store could you possibly…?" I stopped dead. Oh. My. God. She wasn't serious.

I looked at her, horrified. Alice gave me an evil grin. Stupid pixie. She was serious.

Edward was the one who voiced it, looking just as scared as me. "Victoria's Secret, Alice? Do I have to?" He whined.

I quickly joined him. "Yeah, Alice, I have quite enough lingerie, really…."

Alice stood menacingly with her fists on her hips. I gave up and walked in. "Why are you doing this to me?" I whispered to her.

Alice smiled. "You'll see." She mouthed back. Then she called for Edward, who came over hesitantly.

"Edward, you need to pick out things that would look good on Bella. Give them to Bella, she'll try them on and you decide if you like them. Kay? Oh, you need Bella's size. 36B. Now go!" She said briskly. Edward stood there frozen.

"Edward, GO!" Alice yelled. Edward, looking redder than any shade I've ever managed, left quickly. I turned to her, furious.


"WHY are you making your poor brother pick out lingerie for me?! I can pick it well enough on my own, I don't understand your logic…" I rambled. Alice sighed, putting her hand over my mouth.

"Bella, I'm only going to say this once, so listen hard, okay? You and my brother were made for each other. I know it. I'm just trying to help things along. You're both too shy for your own good. Do you understand? I'm trying to help you."

I wrenched her hand away from my mouth. "Alice, I don't like Edward in that way. I'm sorry, I just don't." It wasn't technically a lie. Alice looked sad for a second then brightened right up.


"Maybe right now you don't. But you will. Trust me." She said confidently.

"And what makes you think Edward likes me?" I demanded.

"Bella, if I have to tell you, you will never know." And with that, Alice skipped off. I paced the store, fuming. Edward tapped me on the shoulder, looking redder still.

"Um, I brought you some stuff." Edward mumbled. I blushed.

"Bella, where do you keep zoning out to? I'm trying to talk to you!" Alice said. I blinked, taking in my surroundings. I was in the cafeteria, not the mall. Oh. Everyone was staring at me, except for Edward, who was picking at his food, blushing again.

"Sorry, Alice. What's up?"

"I was just telling everyone about our shopping trip last weekend! We need to do it again, don't we Bella?" Alice asked eagerly. I shook my head, terrified.

"No, Alice. I am NOT going into Victoria's Secret ever again! I have enough bras to keep me for a lifetime!" I exclaimed.

"But Bella, Edward picked those out. I need to pick stuff out for you too…" Edward choked into his food, looking redder than the tomato on his plate. Emmett and Rosalie laughed, and even Jasper gave a smile.

"Edward went lingerie shopping for Bella? THAT'S HILARIOUS!" Emmett boomed. He clapped Edward in the back. "Good work, man, really…"

Rosalie giggled. "So, Edward, how was it?"

Edward looked up, obviously wishing to evaporate. "Um, I don't really know…" Alice scoffed. "Oh shut up, Edward, you know you had fun...I could see it!"

I stood up, feeling bad for Edward. "If you're done making fun of Edward, we're going to leave. Right, Edward?" Edward hastened to stand, knocking over a water bottle in the process. He left with me, and we walked through the hallways together.

"Thanks, Bella." He mumbled.

I took his hand, squeezing it reassuringly. "Its fine, Edward." Just then, we ran into the last person I wanted to see. Jacob.

I had been avoiding him successfully for a couple weeks now. It wasn't hard to do. I knew where he usually parked his car, and he never came to lunch. I didn't have any classes with him, either. I froze, wanting to die.

Jacob smirked, seeing Edward. "All right, Bella? You've been avoiding me. I guess I see why, although I must say, your taste in men has diminished…" Edward stiffened, looking down. I was furious. I was about to deny the implication that Edward was my boyfriend, but something in Jacob's expression made me want to hurt him. To shock him. Besides, I might have actually gone out with Edward if it weren't for Jacob.

"Actually, Jacob, Edward is the best boyfriend ever. I don't know what I ever saw in you…" Jacob looked surprised. Good, you jackass, I thought menacingly. I couldn't bear looking at Edward's reaction, so I focused on Jacob only.

Jacob recovered, laughing it off. "Okay, then Bella. I just wanted to apologize, for you know, what happened in the restaurant. I didn't want you to find out that way… I thought I'd break it to you gently…" I was infuriated. I spoke slowly, each of my words aiming to wound him.

"I don't really care, Jacob. And how exactly do you tell someone that you're cheating on them gently? 'Um, I'm KINDA cheating on you'? Whatever, Jake. I'll be waiting around for Leah to cheat on you... cuz you know she will…" My plan worked. Jacob looked stricken. "She wouldn't…I give the best lay…" Jacob mumbled. I laughed, hiding my broken heart.

Jacob left. I took a deep breath, looking at Edward. He was shocked. I closed my eyes, waiting for him to yell at me.

When he spoke, he was surprisingly gentle. "I guess I understand why you said we were going out, although I wish you didn't."

The pieces of my heart splintered even more. He wished I didn't tell Jake I was going out with him? Did that mean he didn't want to go out with me? I should have known. I'm such an idiot. He was repulsed by me. I opened my eyes, looking up at him with tears threatening to spill.

Edward shook my shoulders. "Bella, let me finish! I meant I wish it wasn't a lie. I… I don't know. I'm an idiot…" He trailed off, looking more and more awkward. I put my palms on his face, forcing him to look at me.

"Edward, I am sorrier than you will ever know. Jacob made me so mad. It's just that, I can't go out with anyone yet. I can't go out with anyone, ever. I'm not good enough for you, I know that. I just need to ask, as a friend: Will you please pretend to go out with me? Just in front of Jacob. If you don't want to, I promise I'll never ask you again. I'll go tell Jacob I was lying, and I won't care what he says to me!" Edward surprised me by pressing his lips to mine.

He tasted so sweet, like candy before dinner as a child. I pressed myself closer to him, all too aware that there were fireworks all around us, sparks that weren't there even when Jacob kissed me…

All too soon, he pulled away, grinning crookedly. He leaned into my ear. "We need to keep up appearances, don't we?" I repressed a shiver, trying not to faint into Edward's arms. Edward hugged me gently, and then walked away slowly, stopping to turn and wink at me. I swooned.

Okay, so maybe Edward was awkward. Maybe he was a dork, and geeky, and had thick glasses. But, I reflected to myself, he was a damn good kisser.

What have I gotten myself into?

---

I apologize. I was going to make this chapter literally double the length it is now, but unfortunately time got the best of me. I have to leave for the airport in literally 20 minutes, and I have to finish packing! But i decided this fanfic was wayy more important, since my next update will be in 10 days! Soooo sorry. Love you all!!!

oh, and excuse the typos. You have no idea how rushed i am right now....