The six weeks after that I grew farther and farther away from Jerry, Sandy, Edward and Alice. I was afraid of Jerry and her constant presence. She was too observant, and I couldn't satisfy my need for drugs with her around. As I grew closer to Mike, my friendship with Edward became strained. Edward no longer walked with me to our classes, or even talk to me much anymore.

My grades slipped quickly since most of my time I was with Mike. Also, I skipped gym, and hung out behind the football stands. Since I used the drugs more often, I became more and more dependant. They were my life.

Jerry grounded me often, but I would sneak back out when she was asleep. She would yell at me whenever she found my bed empty in the morning.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I needed some Tylenol because I had an awful headache." She never bought any of my stories.

"I don't like you hanging out with Mike Newton, Bella. He's a bad influence."
"I don't hang out with him that often," I replied.

"Don't lie to me, Bella. I don't want you to see him anymore."

Of course, anything she forbid, I would automatically did.

Even though my friendship with Edward was strained, I found that I still cared about what he would think if he knew the real me. What Zach said the day in the hospital rang in my ears whenever I thought about it.

Nobody can accept the real you. Nobody wants a drug addicted girlfriend. I'm doing you a favor.

I could just imagine what Edward would say. "You slut!" He would look at me with disgust, and turn away. That weekend, I would be sent out to the streets because they hated me that much.

I couldn't figure out why I cared about his opinion, though. Anyone off the street I couldn't care about. Sure, I knew Edward a little better than that, but not much better. Then it struck me, I liked him. I had to shove these feelings away, and I knew that. I didn't want to see his face look at me with disgust. I had to keep avoiding him because he could never love me back. The real Bella died seven years ago with her parents. I was someone else, now. I often wondered what I parents would do if they knew I was addicted to drugs.

One day after the revelation, I was skipping gym with Mike. I was enjoying weed when Edward walked around the corner of the school. "Bella?" he called.

Oh crap. Please don't look behind the bleachers.

"There you are! Bella? What are you doing?" I hid my face, ashamed.

"Are you smoking?" I finally looked into his eyes. They were sad, but full of understanding. I didn't understand.

Mike took a protective step in front of me. "Don't bother us, Cullen. Just because you're a goody two shoes, doesn't mean you have to bother Bella."

"I wasn't here to bother her." He stepped around Mike. "Bella, Uncle Sandy is in the hospital. He was shot five times this morning. We need to visit him." The way he said it, made it seem like Sandy wasn't going to leave the hospital. I nodded.

"Mike, I'm sorry, I'll have to call you later."

"I thought you didn't care about your family," he retorted. I ignored him, and followed Edward to the parking lot.

When we finally got to the hospital, I was about to get out of the car, but Edward put his hand on my shoulder. "I don't think you want to talk about this, but you need to talk about it with someone. Why did Mike say you didn't care about my family?"

"I'm hanging out with him all the time. He just assumed it. I never told him anything, I swear."

"Have you been avoiding the family get togethers because you're addicted to drugs?"

"You're not bothered by that?" I asked.

"My father is a doctor. I see all types of addicts and injuries. I'm not desensitized, but I see it all too often. I am a disappointed, though. I thought you had more potential, but I guess it isn't you're fault. You happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Jerry is worried sick about you" he continued. "She doesn't understand why you're avoiding the family all of a sudden. Since the accident in San Francisco, you've been different. Colder, more distant."

"I don't do well in relationships. I all my friends I hang out with on a regular basis are addicts. I have an abusive boyfriend who can't take no for an answer. I've never had a foster parent pay so much attention to me. Jerry is very observant. I was scared, and I figured that she would eventually see through my story. I didn't know what else to do-"

"She's just trying to protect you. She knows how hard it is to lose a family member. We all do. All Jerry wants is for you to be happy. She hopes she can be like a mother to you."

"I don't need a mother."

"All of us need a parental figure. I know how hard it is to lose parents, Bella. Believe me. I miss them constantly, but I've accepted Carlisle and Esme as my parents."

"I suppose she is a good mother. All things considered, she doesn't have to care about me at all. I know my previous foster parents haven't."

"Let's show her that we love her. Let's go." We walked into the hospital room. I almost screamed and ran out, or at least I sure wanted to. Sandy looked weak and pale. Tubes went into any surface possible. I would have thought he was dead, if the heart monitor was beeping. His cheeks were sunken in. When he opened his eyes, they were dead. It reminded me of my father before he died.

I didn't want to remember memories I've tried so hard to forget.

"I'm sorry, but I haven't eaten since lunch. I'm starving. May I please get something to eat?" Jerry looked at me with unfocused red eyes.

"Yes you may. Edward do you want to join her?" He looked at me.

"No, I'm fine." I smiled gratefully at him, and left. I quickly called Mike after that

"How's the hospital?" he asked in a hurt tone.

"It's awful. Sandy looks horrible. It's bringing back memories I've tried to forget long ago."

"Okay. Why don't you come over now? My parents are out of town until Sunday. You could stay here until you want to go back."

"Sure. Let me say goodbye to Jerry." I walked back to the room.

"Bella, what's wrong? You look upset," Jerry commented.

"A friend from school invited me to a sleep over the whole weekend. I told her I couldn't because Uncle Sandy was in the hospital."

"You don't need to stay here, Bella. I don't want to keep from having fun this weekend." I smiled and hugged her. I walked out of the room, feeling triumphant. Edward caught my arm.

"Bella, please don't leave to be with Mike. Aunt Jerry needs you right now. Your family needs you right now. Are you going to desert it?"

"Edward, I can't go back into that room. Sandy looks too much like my father right before he died. I can't relive those memories." He stepped away looking hurt.

I didn't want to tell Edward no, but I must look after myself first. This was the right thing to do.

That night I tried something new. Mike said sex after smoking some weed was the best possible way of having sex. I was naturally curious, so I tried it. I had no idea what was happening the whole time. It was the most detached feeling ever. I loved it. I spent all night having sex with marijuana in my system.

"When I woke up, I was in Mike's arms. "Good morning, Babe," he greeted.

"What time is it?"

"Around nine," he replied.

"I should text Zach. I forgot we were supposed to eat lunch together. There's no way I can get there on time now."

"Forget that loser. You don't see him that often. Who knows how many girls he's slept with by now? You should love someone who's more faithful to you."

"Who would that be?"
"Me, of course! I've grown to love you, Bella. Last night was amazing, and I know I wasn't the only one who felt it. We connected on a level that I never experienced before. I miss you when you're not with me."

"What about Zach? I can't just ignore him."

"Sure you can! If you meant something to him, he'll come and visit you up here. If he does, you can send him packing." Before I could respond, my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Bella, Jerry needs you right now. Sandy is getting worse."

"Edward, I told you, I can't go back into that room."

"Please, Bella. She won't stop crying. It'll mean so to her if you come back."

"I just can't."

"Bella, I believe in you. I'll be right at your side if you need help." He hung up. I sighed.

"Sorry, Mike. It looks like I have to leave again."

"Come back any time. Oh, I think I can help you with your…situation." He got up, and rummaged through a closet. "Give me your arm" Without thinking, I raised my arm. He turned it over, and injected a liquid into my system. "This is Speed. It'll make you hyper, so you won't have to deal with Sandy. If Jerry truly just needs your presence, then it's a win-win situation.

The room was already starting to turn colors. I smiled. "Thanks Mike. You're a life saver." I kissed him on the cheek.