o.o Dude... I'm honestly Shocked (it's capitalized because it's SPECIAL) just how much people like this story. I half-expected to get flamed or something for posting this... But DAMN! 266 hits? Twelve reviews? 5 favs? 9 alerts?

...I feel special.

You guys pwn SO hard...

I luff you all.

coughcough Eh... moving on...

------Damned planning-------

"So, you can't live, err...exist without human blood? This could be problematic..."

"Oh really, now? Well, I suppose that only leaves one, dire option." Luca gave a sideways glance to her... over-sized pet. Yes, that was word for it.

"What are you getting at, Pet?" She asked, not missing his tone. She'd probably end up saying 'no.'

"Oh, Master, you are so cruel, so prepared to deny my proposition without me even voicing it." She glared at him again as she sat on the bed, her back against the wall, him leaning next to the door.

"Out with it." Alucard's insane grin didn't falter in the slightest.

"It is only to allow me to do what I died to do." Her glare turned to contemplation for a moment, before the glare was re-instated again.

"Hunt?"

"Naturally, Master." Luca resisted the overwhelming urge to immediately scream 'no' at him, realizing that it may eventually necessary.

"Without the dire need to hunt humans to survive? Absolutely not." If possible, his grin widened to become even more unnaturally large, exposing teeth designed for one thing only.

Ripping flesh to shreds.

"Of course, I would never even consider committing such a horrendous act without dire need." Her glare intensified. He was mocking her. Disrespecting her. He was playing with her.

She was Hellsing. Hellsing's had pride, intelligence, power, and many other things typical humans wanted, yet lacked. Luca glanced around the room, her eyes landing on the knife on her bed table. She glanced at his grinning form. She reached out, well aware he was watching and absently stroked the knife.

"Tell me, servant, could this plain knife kill you?" He scoffed, offended. She picked up the knife absently, fondling it. Watching Alucard.

"Never could such a trivial stick kill me. I am already dead, anyway."

"Try it." His head snapped up, tilting to the side.

"What?" She looked up from the knife to him, a grin plastered on her face.

"You said such a trivial weapon could never kill you. Or deport you to hell, if you'd prefer that wording." He watched her, cautiously, the grin starting to edge back onto his face at her coy, knowing pose. "I say we test it, make it fact."

"Master, are you asking I try to end my existence on this plane and send my soul back to hell?" An eyebrow was possibly raised, obscured by the large, red, floppy hat and tinted orange glasses, that had seemingly sprouted from nowhere over night.

"No." She stated, watching as his grin widened slightly. "I'm ordering you try it." His grin faded completely.

"Oh, Master, whydo you hate me so?" He inquired, removing the large hat and glasses.

"Hate you?" Luca raised an eyebrow "Oh, servant, I don't hate you; you just haven't quiet grasped who I am." The grin spread over his face again.

"And just who might you be, Master?" He was stalling. Like she didn't notice.

"Stop stalling, servant." She tossed the knife to him, propping her arms on the window still behind her, her elbow brushing the closed curtains slightly. "I want that knife right here, in your brain." She lifted one arm, pointing one finger in a specific spot on her head.

Like she knew it would affect the outcome. His grin returned with a vengeance. Without hesitation, he flipped the knife over in his hand, positioning it carefully in the spot she had ordered, and effectively died.

Again. Well, he was already dead, but in a technical sense...

They did change the definition of death to when brain waves cease in the body, after all...

His lifeless body slumped to the floor, a few splatters of blood on the cold, grey, stone floor.

'In a sense, I think I just made someone kill themselves. Does it count as murder?' She watched the corpse begin to twitch quietly, not bothered nearly as much as she probably should be by the blood and what she had just made someone do.

'Oh, Master, you cannot kill that which is already dead.' Luca twitched at the sudden connection of minds.

'Actually, they changed the definition of death. I think, officially, you might be considered alive.' Alucards head snapped up from the floor, still covered in blood, eyes wide.

"How... interesting." His powerful crimson eyes went back to their normal size in an instant as he finished fully healing, lazily pulling out the knife from his brain case with two fingers, using no more than a flick of his wrist.

"I just thought of something, I do believe murder it described as one human killing another. Give or take a few important details." Luca reasoned. She glanced at her servant, was that a new light in his eyes when he looked at her? "So... servant, did it hurt?" He grinned, immediately becoming a predictable guy.

"Of course not." She grinned, just what she wanted to hear.

"Shame, looks like we might have to use blessed silver, next time." His grin flickered a fraction of a second.

"Oh, cruel Master, is that really necessary, now?" She glanced at him, he didn't seem worried. He sounded playful, but blessed silver most likely hurt a lot. Hopefully.

"Maybe, servant. It's all up to you." Oh yes, this could indeed be a fun master, would she shoot him like Integra? Or perhaps make him shoot himself? Alucard blinked at the feeling of the Jackal firing off in his mouth. Regardless, this would be an interesting time. "Well, storage won't be too much of a problem," Luca mused, thinking of her almost complete secret-hole-or-possibly-considered-a-safe-thing. "But the hospital would start to notice it after a while, so what to do, what to do… Oh! Of course, why didn't I remember earlier? We just have to find the storage facility they use to store the blood in." She reprimanded, smacking herself upside the head, adapting to the unusual circumstances better than she probably should be able to.

---------endtiem----------

Well, I've officially gotten my first criticism review/partial flame. SO! In response to her notes, I say this:

About the names, Luca really won't be called Lucrecia all that often, it fact, it may never even be mentioned again. It would be mentioned rarely, if at all. I actually wanted to name her Luca as her full name, but would that be in true Hellsing fashion? I think not. I decided to go formal enough to pass, but I skipped the third name because of her American style heritage. As for her sister, Sora, I have to say, same with the father, they won't be mention as a large scale character. (as to say they won't be mentioned enough to be all that important) But anyway, you're wondering why Sora doesn't have a more official first name? Well, in truth, she does. But, I didn't see a good place to be able to stick it in anywhere. Actually, I saw this pretty damn fast, and was too lazy to try and put it in, SO! If you want, you guys (who actually read these things) can pick a name. As long as it ties to her nickname somehow. Sumthin' that could be considered relevant and the bunch. (Truthfully, it took me FOREVER to find Luca's names; I hated it so badly to find a good, serious sounding name that could be shortened to Luca. It's probably why I didn't find a good name for Sora)

And I honestly agree about the narration style, it really can be a bit awkward to read some times, but, sad to say, the way I write, speak, and think can be hard to understand, and writing differently that you speak and think it incredibly hard. For me, anyway. It usually comes out even more awkward sounding.

Side note: This is why I was so amazed at Countess Vlad Dracula, Koori Youkai Hime, and Monkey Pies for saying good stuff about my writing. (And SulinaMoon, little-hellsing, mlscat, Edowen, and Leah car for everything else) (And franny-o for restoring my confidence that the world really isn't about to end because everyone loves my story)

Now where were we…?

About the 'common American trend,' you have to remember, that while in third person, this story still basically reflects Luca's own beliefs, and she's really, honestly, only a thirteen-year-old-girl stuck in the pits of L.A. county, which let it be know, isn't always all that glamorous. And, to be blunt and truthful, the trend was in fact thought out while I was posting, I DID say 'common' for a reason, that 'common' was meant to imply that many Americans could, but not necessarily, have one or more of these undesirable traits present in their life. But for all you people out there who disagree completely with me, I say a few things to you:

The first amendment

I DO realize that the twenty-first century is supposed to be 'politically correct'

You may need to become more tolerant of other people's ideas and beliefs.

This is JUST A DAMNED STORY. Getting angry about doesn't really do anyone any good. And if your wondering what this is, it's really pretty much an explanation (or excuse, whichever you prefer) of fanny-o's dislikes of my story.

And finally, go visit your local boondocks, bronks, red-light district, or ghetto. See what you see. Then tell me I hold no truth in my words.

And after all of this had been said, if you still hate my story, I have one question:

Why are you reading this? Go find a story you like.

Now, for all of you who like my story, I commend you all for you're…. Ummm… stuff. And apologize for getting your hopes up that this would be part of the story and not the authors note. Oh yeah, one more thing.

Why does chapter three have more hits than chapter two?