Chapter 4 They got Dean to a hotel and layed him on a bed. Sam had left to get supper while Alex stayed with Dean. They were going to bury him the next day. Alex was sitting on the other bed, facing Dean. She finally knelt on the floor beside his bed and layed her arms flat on the bed, putting her chin on her arms. After a few minutes Alex held one of his hands in both of hers, looked into his eyes and said, " Dean why didn't you tell me ? .. I thought we could tell each other everything, I mean you should have told me ! I could have helped somehow. It's my fault isn't it ? " Alex looked up as tears started to roll down her cheeks. She looked back down and the tears came harder. Then she continued, " I should have known .. I should have done or said something. But I promise you Dean I will get you back no matter what it takes " Sam came in and heard the last thing she said, when he shut the door Alex turned with tears still falling. He put the stuff down then walked towards her, she got up and wrapped her arms around him in a hug and he did the same. Alex buried her face in his chest and continued to cry. " I should have done something Sam. I should have known- " , " Alex it's ok there's nothing you could have done .. but I promise you I will help you get Dean back " Alex looked up at him and said, " You will ? " , " Yes now come let's eat then I'll go bury Dean " , " whoa whoa whoa ! " She had stopped crying and just wiped away her tears when he said that. Alex said what she said as she stopped walking and Sam did the same, turned and he said, " What ?! " , " Your going to bury Dean ?! " , " Yeah why ? " , " Sam your not going alone I'm coming with you " , " no your not " , " yes I am ! He's my boyfriend and I'm coming ! " , " NO your not ! " , " Why not ?! " , " Because I have something I have to do and I don't want you there " , " I think that's my decision Sam " , " Alex can you please just trust me on this ? .. please ? " Alex looked deep into his eyes and saw that he was serious so she said, " Ok I'll stay here then " , " thank you " Alex nodded then they sat down and ate. Then Sam got some things, put Dean in the car and left. *
3 and a half months later .
" Damn it Bobby then find something else ! " Alex screamed as Bobby came to another dead end. Sam had stopped trying to save Dean half a month ago .. Alex didn't. She had snuck off in a rental car to Bobby's to have him help. Sam had called a few times but she just let her cell go to voice mail. Alex opened her cell, 14 missed calls .. all Sam. Alex shut it, looked at Bobby and said as calmly as she could, " Bobby I am not going to give up on Dean. I will keep trying until I get him back and I don't care how long it takes " , " Alex I've looked at every book and website I know ... there's nothing we can do " , " then look harder ! " Alex almost screamed, her patience fading. " Alex I know you love him but it's been three and a half months .. let him go " , " no I won't ! " Now she was screaming, " There is something somewhere you just haven't found it yet ! I'm not giving up Bobby ... please don't give up on me like Sam did. Please Bobby, please your my last hope " Alex said more calmly, tears falling slowly down her face. " I'm sorry Alex " She lowered her head and lifted it back up, more tears falling as she nodded her head. Bobby tried to touch her arm to comfort her but Alex pulled her arm away in anger. " Alex I'm so- " , " no don't .. I understand. You and Sam have just given up on Dean .. well I haven't ! I hope the two of you are happy with the results ! " Alex had screamed that as loud as she could then stormed out.

Alex had gone from 0 to 75 in three seconds. As she sped along the empty road she cried and cursed Bobby, Sam, herself and even Dean. Alex knew these roads very well so she wiped away the last of her tears and took a right. Alex drove for one more mile then she made sure the car was going straight, pressed down on the gas so that it was 85, then she sat back in her seat and closed her eyes.