Eternal Dream
Eternal Dream
By: irish d' salmon luver
Author's Note: This chapter's title was taken from a song called "Truth, Cry, and Lie" by Letto. They were a local music group from Indonesia, my beloved country.
Disclaimer: All characters in FF VII are © Square Enix. And I know it was late to say, but not all the quotes I put in this story are mine. I only own some of them. Which one, you guess by yourself…
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You'll never understand why I hurt so much
because you're not the one who is crying,
you're not the one who is left behind,
you're not the one who loved too much,
and you're not the one who is holding on to someone who is gone...
Chapter 05: The Truth Behind A Lie and Cry
"I hate you." Reddish-brown eyes blazed with hatred.
"Are you? Oh, I'm so delighted." A smirk plastered over Sephiroth's face.
"I'm serious." Tifa spat to his face.
"So am I. I always serious." Sephiroth's piercing green eyes glowered to her face.
"No, you are a maniac. Serious people won't killing people or setting fire on a village or raping an underage girl, and then leave the girl with a slash on her chest."
"I'm serious when I raped you and slashed you."
"Murderer. Pyromaniac. Rapist."
"Call me names, but it won't change your past."
He could se her eyes start to dampen. She held back a tear; he knew that. For how long she could hold back her tears, he would have fun to find out. Tifa punched him, kicking all the way to get out from him, and when one of her punch landed on his bandaged body, Sephiroth flinched a little. She quickly took this chance to free herself. But before she reached the door, she was knocked to the door abruptly. The next thing she felt was the feeling of his body pressed against her back with her face being pressed to the door.
"I'm admiring your tireless effort, Lockhart. You have punch like hell."
"I'm different now from the little girl you knew 8 years ago."
"Of course you are different now. Especially your body. Even though you had a body like a mature woman in your fifteen, but I prefer your body now. They are… sexier, so I think." He leaned loser so he could whisper into her ears, "I remember you couldn't even defend yourself when I held you back then but now you can hit me and freeing yourself."
Sephiroth smirked when he felt her body trembling with anticipation of his breathing on her sensitive ear. The motion flicked a fire inside his body. He always enjoyed the feel of fear from his victim. But it was different with Tifa Lockhart. He was thinking of her as possession. Something he wanted to reach; an ambition. No one ever made him like this, and he wasn't even on Jenova's control.
"Let go of me, Sephiroth."
Oh, how he loved the way she spelled his name with so much venom and hatred. He wouldn't mind to hurt her more and more to hear her said his name like a poison in her mouth.
"Anyway, Lockhart, I'm not seeing Cloud everywhere. I thought you're living with him, but the other man I see in this house is only Vincent. Or shall I call him father?"
"That's none of your business. Cloud was here or not, it's none of your business. I live with Vincent or not, it's none of your fucking business!"
"Based from your reaction, I guess that Cloud left you because he was bored with you. Am I right?"
"You bastard! It's all because of you!! If you didn't go mad and burned down our village, he wouldn't gone! If you wasn't gone, Cloud and Zack wouldn't become Hojo's experimental! And Zack probably would still alive! And if you didn't go psycho and killed Aerith, she would still in here and Cloud would also stay here! It's all because of you!!"
Tifa couldn't hold back here tears any longer. The tears escaped from her eyes freely, streaming down to her cheek and dropped to the floor. Her body became limp, and when Sephiroth let go of her she fell down to her knees. Tifa was crying, sobbing, and weeping over sadness, agony, hurt, and anger. Sephiroth only watched her back as she kept mourning of her sorrow.
"You… won't understand."
Tifa was still crying, but less sobbing. Sephiroth just wanted to reply her when she continued, "You won't understand how much it hurt to me." She slowly stood up, her hands fisted on her side.
"To be left behind when I loved him so much, to always hoping that he would come back one day. Until one day he called me and said… that he didn't want to lie to me anymore and he couldn't go back to our home. And so he left. With all my hope, with all my love."
She turned her body, facing Sephiroth. He could see her puffy redden eyes and streaks of tears on her face. They were the evidence of her weak side, but now her expression was firm and tough. She flashed a bitter smile to him.
"But I have him. I still have Vincent, your father. He's comforting me, soothing me with his kindness and love. He gives me all the love and hope I seek in Cloud. He makes me worthy to live again."
"You just seeking for an escape for your lost love." Sephiroth huffed.
"Whatever you call it, it won't change my future with him." She retorted back.
'What a payback', Sephiroth smirked.
"May I ask you, what kind of future do you get from him?"
Tifa closed her eyes. She was looking for the right answer to satisfy this bastard in front of her and the one that could silence him. She sighed, and then opened her eyes. She gave her answer with a small smile and calm face.
"Family. Soon, we'll make our family together. A family I always dreaming for. A family… that Cloud couldn't give to me. We'll be marry in two months, and even you can't do anything to stop that."
Well, it's working. Sephiroth stood in silence, couldn't say any single words. Tifa smiled with triumph now. She unlocked the door, and then without saying anything more, she went to her room.
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Tifa opened her eyes. She didn't know for how long she'd been sleeping, but she could guess from Denzel's voice in downstairs. She'd must been sleeping for entire day. Her last "reminiscence" and "conversation" with that monster really drained her energy and mind. She had locked the door, in case Sephiroth break into her room and did something she didn't want to imagine. But to think about it now, it was useless to locking the door. He's that Sephiroth, for Planet's sake! Just a wooden door won't protect her from that maniac.
Slowly, she made her way to the door. She needed to eat, and even a monster couldn't stop her to get something to eat. Denzel just wanted to approach her room when Tifa showed up to dining room. Vincent was nowhere to be seen.
"Denzel," Tifa took a glass and filled it with water, "Where is Vincent?"
Denzel shrugged, "Maybe he's in his room, with his son. I don't really know."
"Thanks," Tifa just wanted to walked away when Denzel held her hand.
"Tifa…" He seemed rather doubt to what he was going to ask.
"Yes, Denzel?" Tifa looked at her son lovingly.
"Who is… his son? Why he never went outside his room?"
"He…" Tifa stopped. What she should tell to Denzel about Sephiroth? Maybe, "Denzel, he is Sephiroth, the one who tried to kill Cloud before. Oh, and his clones were the one who kidnapped you. Do you remember?"
'Very good, Tifa. Now you're being sarcastic.'
Tifa kneeled before Denzel. She took a deep breath, prepared for the worst.
"Denzel, I will tell you, but please don't get angry or mad at Vincent."
"Why should I angry at him?"
"Because his son is… Sephiroth. Vincent found him dying, and bring him back."
"Sephiroth… Isn't he the ex-general of Shinra?"
"Uh-huh."
"The man who once claimed as hero?"
"Uh-huh."
"The man who's going insane and burn down your hometown?"
"Yeah."
"The man who tried to destroy Planet?"
"Yup."
"The man who tried to kill Cloud?"
"…Yeah, it's him."
"He's Vincent's son?! Tifa, are you CRAZY?!"
"No, I'm not. Sephiroth is the crazy one, not me."
"No, Tifa, you are crazy. You're crazy enough to marry with an immortal man who have insane murderer son!"
"Denzel, don't say such thing!"
"But Tifa, I care about you!"
"I know, Denzel. I know, but I just can't leave Vincent. I love him, and even a Sephiroth can't change my feeling."
Denzel sighed. He looked away before spoke, "Sometimes, you're such a stubborn, Tifa."
With that, he left to his room. Tifa just watched the kid walked away.
"I'm so sorry, Denzel."
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Vincent awoke when he heard someone knocking the door. He fell asleep when he treated Sephiroth's wound. The wound was getting better, but he found some new bruises on his body. When and why Sephiroth got his bruises, Vincent would like to know.
"Hold up," Vincent said as the knocking continued. He opened the door, revealing a pale-looking Tifa.
"Vince."
"Tifa."
"May I come in?"
"Of course."
He stepped aside, letting her walked into the room. Tifa looked around, searching for a sign of Sephiroth. When she found him sleeping on the bed, she sighed in relief. Vincent watched her with interest.
"So, what's bring you here?" He gestured the woman to sit down. Tifa hesitantly took the chair.
"What- oh, me. Nothing. Just want to see your face."
"Really? I thought you're mad at me."
"Not anymore. I just realized that I'm not angry at you, but I'm SO freaking mad at him," she pointed her thumb at the silver haired man. Vincent frowned.
"I know he's a bad guy, but it's over. He won't doing anything for now."
"And what makes you so sure that he will stop his evilness?"
"Because I'm his father. I put my faith in him. And if he ever do any bad things, I will stop him by myself."
"I wish you could stop him that time…" Tifa murmured.
"Tifa?"
"Oh, nothing. I just doubt that you can stop him, alone. Even Cloud needed our help to caught his track."
"Tifa, I don't want to debate—"
"Same with me. Let's just end this stupid conversation about him."
"… What's wrong with you, Tifa? You seem so upset since I brought Sephiroth here. When I wanted to bring him to Shinra Mansion, you hold me in place. You said he could stay in here too."
"I… I just can't see you freezing outside. Actually, I don't really care about Sephiroth, but I don't want to lose you again."
"Tifa, what make you hate Sephiroth so much?"
"Oh, there are so many reasons. He's a jerk, a madman, a pyromaniac, Planet's destroyer, Aerith's killer—"
"No, Tifa. I know there's another reason behind your hatred."
She didn't answer him directly. To told Vincent about her dark past just brought another wound in her heart.
And she didn't want to hurt her heart anymore. Because it would only made him satisfied.
"Vince, I would like to talk about that matter with you, but not this time. I… I don't want to put another burden to your shoulder." Tifa said. Her eyes drifted from Vincent's shoulder through the form behind him.
She was quiet for a moment before look at Vincent's crimson eyes. "I will tell you everything about the reason why I hate your son so much. I promise. But I don't want to talk now because it will only put another pain in my heart, in my soul."
It was like a déjà vu to Vincent. He remembered when Lucretia spoke like that about the matters with Hojo, the reason why she choose the freak scientist instead of him.
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"No, Vincent. I would like to say the truth, but not now. I promise I'll tell you everything when the time is right." Lucretia spoke softly. She was standing in front of Vincent, her hands stroking her rounded belly affectionately. Vincent eyed her. What's so good about the child of Hojo anyway?
A sigh escaped from his lips. "Then you'll never tell me."
"And why not?" Lucretia spun around to see him.
"When someone said that he or she will tell everything, it means that he or she doesn't want to tell anything about the matters." Vincent held his eyes to her. Lucretia eyed him back. A glimpse of sadness caught on her eyes.
"You hate me so much then…" She spoke slowly. And then she trailed off quietly, "But I don't want you to hate this child. Please, if anything bad ever happened to this child, you have to protect him. I know I can't protect him, because I'm sure that Hojo will dispose me soon after I give birth to my child."
"Dispose you? Why? You're his wife, mother of his child! And why you ask for my help? There are so many other people you can asking for!" Vincent glared at the lady before him. How could she, after turned him down by choose that mad scientist over him, now asking him to protecting her child?!
"Because I only believe in you!" Lucretia shouted back. It was quiet for a minute before she spoke again, calmer this time. "I realized that it was a huge mistake to marry Hojo. But I can't throw away my child just like that! Moreover—" She suddenly stopped.
Vincent raised one of his eyebrows. "Moreover what?"
Lucretia just shook her head slightly. "Forget it. It's not the right time for you to know about this matter. It will only anger you more." She started to walk away from the flustered man. Vincent could only watched her love once again runaway from his grasps. He could only wondering what was the truth she wanted to tell him.
And now he found out the truth. It took him 13 years to find about it after the conversation he had with Lucretia.
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A/N: This is the hardest chapter I ever worked out till now. When I wrote this chap, I felt like I was being attacked by horrendous author's block attack. But I hope there isn't such thing like review's block. See you guys at the next chapter!! (Which I never know when I'll update again…)