Ed, Edd, n Eddy Zombies 2:
Kids Next Door VS the Cartoon Network Zombies
By Winter Knight
Chapter 4: Friday the 13th: Bloody Birthday
Note: I do not own Ed, Edd, n Eddy nor their victims... nor the special guest!
This story was inspired by "Marvel Zombies"
Note that the title was changed mostly because not only does the Kids Next Door and Toilenator battle the original Ed, Edd, n Eddy Zombies but distorted zombified versions of other Cartoon Network characters.
Numbuh 1 does not appear in this fanfic (excluding his counterpart in the Ed, Edd, n Eddy Zombies dimension but I shouldn't have mentioned it) the reason is due to the incident of the final episode of KND "Operation I.N.T.E.R.V.I.E.W.S." Watch it and find out!
WARNING!!: this takes place in a alternate universe and is NOT in the same continuity as "The Grim Ed-ventures of Ed, Edd, n Eddy"! Also this story has gruesome violence that I'm afraid it will harm the rating system! However I plan to add more humor and less gore and violence to this, just to get more readers and perhaps to get Emma Iveli to read the story because I used my best morbid humor in it.
Keep those reviews coming! Also I need more ideas on what Zombies to make fun of and what other Cartoon Network/ Adult Swim characters to add to the stories as either Zombies or Survivors.
This chapter has many references to "Tim and Eric's Awesome Show Great Job!"
This chapter has a special guest and you can guess from the title who it is! Also I got the idea of the chapter during my birthday and it was the original title of the 7th Friday the 13th movie... no really!
Creative Consultant: Emma Iveli
In Memory of
Don LaFontaine
1940-2008
In case no one knows who he is, he does the narraration of all those movie trailers, even the ones for the "Friday the 13th" movies
--
Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons's news program begins, Tom then says, "To those who just joined us, the world's all gone to hell it's all because of a horde of flesh eating monsters, however not in Quahog because our lunatic mayor was right about this menace, however this doesn't stop the zombies from feasting...
(Inside the wall, Jillian then says, "On no Brian, I'm outside the wall, I have to get back in or else I will be eaten, After that, she opens the gates and goes outside while "Greased up deaf guy" follows her yelling, "I JUST HAD ALOT OF SPEED! YOU NEVER GONNA CATCH ME!" while the zombies chase him. However Zombie Heather and Zombie Ezekiel surround Jillian, Zombie Heather pokes her belly and she says, "darnnit, she's bulimic, we can't eat her meat!" Zombie Ezekiel then shakes her head a bit and hears a rattle, and then he yells into her head and then he says, "Like a typical woman, no brains!" Zombie Heather then grabs Zombie Ezekiel by the head and twists it so it's backwards. So they left Jillian alone.
Meanwhile Izzy (who is still naked from the last chapter) is running around shouting, "Someone bite me! I wanna be undead too!" Zombie Heather shakes her head and Zombie Marie Kanker then says, "Even we have limits!" Izzy is disappointed.)
Tom Tucker then says, "Meanwhile, a pedophile vampire seems content that the zombies cannot attack him due to the fact that he is technically undead." Diane then says, "We also have Asian Correspontant Tricia Takanawa... Tricia?"
(Tricia Takanawa is live at the scene and says, "Diane, we indeed have a pedophile Vampire who calls himself "Count Spankulot at the scene, mocking the zombies due to the fact that he is technically undead.
Count Spankulot teleports and says, "You have been very naughty! You have eaten many people and for that you must feel the stingy wrath of Count Spankulot! Muahahahaha!" Then the Count spanks Zombie Heather, Zombie Lazlo, a rainbow monkey, and then he spanks Zombie Bubbles and she cries while this happens. Then Zombie Buttercup and Zombie Blossom fired laser beams from their eyes at him and then he says, "Nuh uh uh! I'm a spank-happy vampire! I cannot be eaten by the undead but I am undead myself, Muahahaha!"
Then Zombie Marie Kanker quickly slices off Count Spankulot's head and the head says, "Oh no, decapitation, it's one of a vampire's weaknesses, no no, not the garlic!" Zombie Harold stuffs garlic in Spankulot's mouth and then the zombies bury him as they stab his heart with a cross and set the coffin on fire.
Zombie Double D then takes Tricia's microphone and says, "And let this be a lesson to those who are undead and think they can take on all of us! And as for you... I'm in the mood for Japanese food... GET HER!"
Then the zombies raid on her and devour her.)
(A technical difficulties card appears and it shows a Vampire camera man drunk on Christian Slater's blood)
Tom and Diane just look shocked at the horrifying incident, Tom Tucker then says, "Well anyway the strange kids and toilet guy from another world just escaped a Mall that is full of zombies and at this point we will let you guys know that the story continues...
--
(Continued from the last chapter)
Then the glass breaks and Hoop is revealed to be a zombie and he looks at Numbuhs 2,3,4,5, 362, Rolf, Toilenator, Courtney, and Duncan and says, "Looks like I have "Meals on Wheels"! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Then suddenly C.A.R.R. crashes into a tree, the sharp part of the tree stabs through Zombie Hoop's head, killing the brain. The group finds out they are in the wilderness and then C.A.R.R. then says, "Forget about me, save yourselves... by the way your weird friends are in the back of the trunk... (dies)
Numbuh 3 hugs C.A.R.R. and says, "Poor talking car, he might hate Mexicans but he gave up his life to save us from the zombie P.I." Numbuh 2 opens the trunk and he sees Zombie Nazz and Zombie Madison and then Nazz says, "Me and Madison hid in the trunk in case the zombies find us and get back at us for turning against them."
The group find themselves in a forest and soon they walk to a nearby campground. Unaware to the group, the sign at the camp reads "CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE"
Courtney then says, "Well since we're alone in the neck of the woods, we need a leader for this group and it should be me because I have Leadership training and I'm a CIT!" Numbuh 362 then says, "Well I'm Supreme Leader of the Kids Next Door!" Numbuh 5 then says, "Well in my world I'm the new Supreme Leader of the Kids Next Door after the Numbuh 362 in my world passed the title to me!" The three then glare at eachother and the others feel their powerful auras.
Numbuh 362 snaps out of it and then says, "Well first off what is my counterpart in your world like and why is a outdated Toiletron with you guys?"
Numbuh 5 then says, "Well Toilenator was accidentally brought to this world with us after his attack plan failed. Second in my world, our version of Numbuh 362 secretly left the Kids Next Door and left me as Supreme Leader while she hangs out with my world's version of the Eds and the Grim Reaper, did I mention they have a fourth member named Edn..."
The group then hears a sound in the woods, Numbuh 4 then looks around and then suddenly, a hyperactive overweight middle-aged man with a black ponytail and visible hair plugs jumps out of a bush and yells "SPAGETT!" Only for Numbuh 4 to punch the strange guy in the face, knocking him over.
(Duncan is in the confessional room then says to the audience, "Ok while escaping from the zombies we run into something that is trying to hard to be scaring, a weird guy who just jumps at us and yells "SPAGETT!" That's not scary! It's awkward! Now those zombies, that's scary!")
The group then point their weapons at the man and then he says, "Umm you're on camera! I'm Spagett and you got spooked!" Numbuh 3 then says, "Oh c'mon that's not scary...wanna see something scary?" Numbuh 3 lifted up Rolfs shirt, exposing his extremely hairy back and she says, "Now that's scary!" Courtney is grossed out a bit and so is Numbuh 362. Zombie Madison then says, "I know something scary... that guy behind Spagett!"
Then the group sees what appears to be a hulking tall man in ragged clothes and holding a machete, and he wears a hockey mask, making a strange sound that goes "CH CH CH HA HA HA".
Numbuh 3 then says, "Didn't you once fight Ranma Saotome?" Then the man in the hockey mask gets angered by the name and then he suddenly walks past Numbuhs 2,3,4,5, and 362. Numbuh 2 then says, "Umm why is that weirdo going after Courtney, Duncan, Rolf, Spagett, and Toilenator?" Zombie Nazz and Madison were nervous at this and Numbuh 5 then says, "Everyone get out of here! I remember who that guy is! It's Jason Voorhees!"
So while everyone is running, Spagett then runs from Jason and finds a sleeping bag, going inside it and hiding in it. However Jason can easily find him so he grabs the bag and bashes it into a tree 13 times and when he opens the bag a big red pulpy mess comes slushing out of it.
Hiding in a cabin, Numbuh 5 then says to the group, "Jason Voorhees was said to be a young mentally disabled boy who was hydrocephalic. One day at this very camp, his mother was busy as a cook and the Camp Councilers were busy doing "some things", Jason tried to swim but drowned anyway. His mother tried to avenge her son but was killed along the way, and after that, Jason Voorhees returned and he swore to kill every teenager who is unfortunate to be in this very camp... Duncan and Courtney are in danger!"
Then they hear a voice and it says, "Wrong... all of you are in danger!" and lights a candle, it turns out the Zombie Ed, Edd, Eddy n Marie Kanker as well as Zombie Lazlo, Heather, Harold, Eva, Cody, Ezekiel, Lindsay, Katie and Sadie are in the same cabin as the survivors. Zombie Double D is seen eating a bento box labled "Tricia Takanawa".
Zombie Heather then says, "Good work Zombie Sector V, you brought us food! Just for that you guys can chow down on the good parts... Where's Zombie Numbuh 1?" Numbuh 4 then nervously says, "Umm he went to the Liquor Store?" Then Zombie Double D realizes something and says, "You're not the Zombie Sector V! You're Sector V from the other world! We heard rumors about this!"
Zombie Eddy then sees Rolf, Zombie Nazz, and Zombie Madison and he shouts, "YOU! WE'RE GOING TO FINISH WHAT WE STARTED LAST YEAR!" So the zombies then rush towards them but Numbuh 3 drops some gumballs and the zombies trip on them as they run. Zombie Ed flies towards Rolf and says, "Please let me eat you!" Rolf then tears off Zombie Ed's other arm. Zombie Katie and Sadie then grab Courtney by the legs and before they can bite her, Numbuh 362 throws ninja stars at their pigtails, distracting them in order to let Courtney escape.
The group manage to escape but the Toilenator was left behind and then the zombies were about to eat him but something was amiss. Zombie Marie then smells him and is repulsed by the odor and then Zombie Heather then says, "I don't want to eat anything resembling a toilet, even we have limits". So they just leave Toilenator and leave the cabin in search for food. And by food I mean the survivors!
The group kept running and then Numbuh 4 then says, "I don't know what's worse, being chased by those flesh eater monsters or encountering Jason Voorhees!" Rolf then says, "Rolf say "Crazy Hockey-man" is worse "small fry KND boy"!" Numbuh 4 then asks Rolf, "I take offence to that, and what country are you from? Wisconsin?" Rolf then says, "Actually it's..."
Then Zombie Ezekiel appears and is unable to bite anyone because his head is backwards so Numbuh 2 just simply tripped him. Zombie Lindsay then takes the last bite of her own brain and just "dies" Numbuh 2 then says, "I wish I didn't see that!" Then Zombie Eva picks up Zombie Lazlo and tosses him at Numbuh 5 but Duncan smacks Lazlo with a wooden plank.
Zombie Harold appears before Courtney and Numbuh 3 and says, "Ever since I ate a part of Grandfather I now have some skills, flying skills... powerful skills... computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills! So now I'm going to eat you!" Courtney then kicks Zombie Harold in the "jewelry store" and says, "And that's for rigging the votes to get me kicked off "Total Drama Island"!" Zombie Harold falls to the ground going, "Aah! It like hurts, even when I'm dead it hurts! It hurts to be dead!"
But then Zombie Marie Kanker appear and grabs Rolf and before she is about to bite him, Rolf grabs her by the head and pulls out a pair of pliers and then Zombie Marie asks, "Umm Rolf, what are you going to do with those pliers?" Rolf then angerly says to Marie, "Something Rolf should've done a year ago..." And with that he pulls out Marie's teeth, tooth by tooth.
After the horrifying punishment was over, Marie tries to bite him but Rolf says, "Silly undead Kanker, you cannot bite me nor eat me without teeth!" Zombie Marie was furious and ends up impailing him with her scythe. While Zombie Marie is about to attack the other surivivors, Zombie Nazz then says, "ROLF! I...I...I'm sorry but I have no choice, I don't want you to die..." And with that, Nazz bites a chunk of Rolf's arm off and ate it. Zombie Madison was shocked at this and then Zombie Nazz then says, "Mmmm that felt good... MEAT! GIVE ME MEAT!" However she was stopped by Zombified Rolf and says, "NO! Control your hunger like Rolf is, We must make sure the others do not attack the rest of the humans"
The Survivors try to ward off the other Zombies but then Jason Voorhees appears...
CH CH CH HA HA HA
Jason stabs Zombie Harold in the head, destroying the brain and then he hacks up Ezekiel and crushes his brain. Zombie Eva then goes up to Jason and says, "I don't know how to deal with your kind but I know how this will end!" Then she runs to Jason with her arms extended but then Jason tears them off and then rips off her head and stomps it till it cracks open. Courtney then says, "Wow, I guess he really does hate teenagers, dead or alive."
Zombie Ed, Edd, n Eddy then appear and they see what Jason is doing to their minions and Zombie Eddy then says, "A little zombie monkey told me about this! Who are you and why are you doing this?" Jason then grabs Zombie Eddy's tounge and rips it straight off, Zombie Double D then says, "It's about time someone did this, anyway have you guys forgotten that we have the powers of the Grim Reaper so use them to regenerate our lost body parts!"
Zombie Eddy uses his power to make his tounge grow back, Zombie Marie uses her power to make her teeth grow back, and Zombie Ed uses his power to make his arms grow back. So the Zombies decide to battle Jason Voorhees and Zombie Eddy then says to the survivors, "Don't think I forgot you guys, after we deal with him we're gonna catch you and eat you!"
The survivors have no choice but to run away while the zombies aren't looking. They find a jeep what coincidentally has gas and a key on it. Numbuh 5 then sees Zombie Rolf and the two other "good zombies". Before Numbuh 5 can say anything, Zombie Rolf then says, "Forget about Rolf girl with number for name, Rolf and other zombies stay behind to slow them down and make sure "crazy hockey-man" takes care of them!" And with that they drive away while Zombie Rolf, Madison, and Nazz stay behind to watch the Zombies' activities. Toilenator manages to grab the jeep and ride away with the others.
They see Zombie Double D slashing Jason's chest with his scythe, Zombie Eddy slices Jason's fingers off and he just looks at his own missing fingers. Meanwhile Zombie Heather eats Zombie Harold's remains just to get Grandfather's powers. Zombie Cody then says, "If anyone sees Gwen, she's mine!" The fight between Jason and the zombies went for many hours, with neither side winning.
The group then drive into a small shack in the Georgia Mountains and then they knock at the door and to their suprise they see a small squid like creature carrying a shotgun and wearing a hat that reads "Breathe if you're Horny" The squid points his gun at them and Numbuh 362 then says, "Look weird squid guy, we're not Zombies, we need some gas or..." Then the squid replies, "I don't care if you're Jeff Gordon I ain't helping no "white people"!" Numbuh 362 is shocked and then says, "Excuse me?" Granny Cuyler then says, "Early, is that the pizza man?" Early then says, "No granny, just some white people. Hey son, help me get them thair white people out of mah house! ... Rusty?" Then Early sees Zombie Katie and Sadie devouring Rusty and is about to do the same to Granny and Lil.
Early then says, "Dammit! I hates White People!" Then he fires at the two but they end up eating him anyway, The survivors then run back to their jeep and drive away. Courtney then says, "Maybe that scene will make me change my mind about "saving the squids" charities. Numbuh 362 then says, "Where did that Hillbilly Squid get off saying he hates "white people"?"
Then they end up in the docks and they see two party guys and one of them says, "We're the Beaver Boys! We want women! Oh and shrimp and white wine!" Numbuh 5 then says, "Even though the zombies ate Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, why do their personas appear in our quest?" Numbuh 362 then says, "Even though breaking the fourth wall is rather weird I agree with you Abbie. But then Zombie Katie and Sadie run to the Beaver Boys and start eating them, however they feel weird from all the shrimp and white wine the Beaver Boys ate. Numbuh 5 then asks, "How did those two catch up to us so fast?" Numbuh 362 then says, "I hope those superpowered zombies didn't give them some of their powers, otherwise that could be the reason why."
While the two zombies weren't looking, Numbuhs 2,3,4,5, 362, Toilenator, Courtney, and Duncan find a yacht and Duncan steals it and gets it sailing, "Courtney frowns at Duncan and Duncan says, "Hey! Whoever owns this boat is probably eaten by now and we are not going to stand here while we wait for Katie and Sadie to eat us!" Courtney then says, "So Number...umm... 362, what is our plan anyway?" Numbuh 362 then says, I'll tell you when we escape those two!"
As they sail away, Zombie Katie and Sadie are finished eating the Beaver Boys and then Katie says, "Oh no! They got away!" Sadie then says, "How about we follow them in the sea!" With that the two girls go into the water until they find themselves in the sea. Then they hear intense violin music in the background and suddenly they find themselves encountering a shark. Zombie Katie simply punches the shark in the nose while Zombie Sadie uses her hands to slash the shark's gills and after practically tearing up the shark they just end up eating him.
Then the main survivors sail to Britian to find the one they call "Shaun"...
TO BE CONTINUED!!
Originally I wanted to do a mini-story involving the CN show "The Mr. Men Show" by having zombified versions of the Mr. Men and Little Misses attacking the city of Dillydale but even I found this morbid and this would be very disrepectful to the late Roger Hargreaves, the original author of the Mr. Men and Little Misses book series... so I hope you like this mini-story instead and yes I want to make more references to "Tim and Eric's Awesome Show Great Job!"
Mini-Story: "THE UNCLE MUSCLES HOUR"
Uncle Muscles (played by "Weird" Al Yankovic) then says to the audience, "Welcome to our show, today we're raising money to find a way to eliminate the zombie menace that is attacking major parts of our country and so I'd like to present once again... Casey Tatum and his brother, singing..."Dr. Tounge and Bub the Zombie"
Casey Tatum looks nervous as usual and his unnamed brother is in the background. Before Casey can sing or vomit, the Zombified citizens of Jefferton just devour him and his brother. Meanwhile Uncle Muscles just pulls out his machine gun and shouts, "Hey you undead jerks! Those were my only performers... SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!"
And with that, Uncle Muscles just blasted away every single zombie on stage...
GREAT JOB!