FF8
Does Who's Line is it Anyway's.
Episode
2
Cid: Hello everybody, and welcome to Who's Line is it Anyway's; the improvisation show where you favorite characters from goodness knows where play for their own personal benefit, I suppose. Today we have Selphie Tilmitt, again. Also with us today is Laguna Loire. Also it's everyone's favorite main character, Squall Leonhart. And finally, our very own cowboy, Irvine Kinneas. (Applause.) Let's start off with Film and Theatre Styles, and this is for Laguna and Selphie.
Selphie: Oh, boy!
Cid: Can I get some suggestions from the audience? (The audience shouts suggestions)
Ok, Dragon Ball Z…Tenchi Muyo!…Home Shopping Network…James Bond…Ronin Warriors…Star Wars…and The Crocodile Hunter. (Laughs.) All right, the two of you are exploring the Deep-Sea Research Center. I'll buzz you when it's time to switch styles. Take it away when you're ready.
Selphie: Oh, boy! I wonder what we'll find in here…
Laguna: Who knows? It could be secret treasure, or monsters!
Selphie: Monsters? What kind of monsters?
(Cid sounds the buzzer.)
Cid: Crocodile Hunter.
Laguna: (In an Australian accent) Like that crocodile over there! Well, I'd hardly call this little bugger a monster! Just look at the size of it! What a beauty!
Selphie: Wow!
Laguna: Many people just don't realize how few of these rare and beautiful creatures are left in the world, and that's why we have to protect them!
(Cid sounds the buzzer.)
Cid: Dragon Ball Z.
Selphie: (Laughing insanely.) When I destroy this world, protecting those will be the least of your worries!
Laguna: I'll never let you do that! I'll stop you!
Selphie: You can't beat me!
Laguna: If I don't Trunks or Vegeta or Gohan will, because they always do!
(Cid sounds the buzzer.)
Cid: Ronin Warriors.
Selphie: Ha, ha! You can't beat me, Lady Kayura!
Laguna: (In Ryio's accent.) No way! I'll find a way to stop you! Or if I don't Anubis will come and save my but!
Selphie: Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. So it's sort of useless fighting then, huh?
Laguna: Yeah, let's go get some tea.
(Cid sounds the buzzer.)
Cid: Tenchi Muyo!
Selphie: Tenchi! (Runs and hugs Laguna.) Tenchi, Tenchi, Tenchi!
Laguna: Ah! Not now! I thought we were going to get some tea!
Selphie: Well that can wait, because we're going to have a little fun first.
Laguna: Oh, no! We're not going to go break another hundred laws that will have the Galaxy Police come after us, will it?
Selphie: Well, yeah.
(Cid sounds the buzzer.)
Cid: James Bond.
Laguna: Well, I don't mind really. Breaking a few laws is what being a secret agent is all about.
Selphie: Oh, James, look out! There's a whole buncha bad guys coming at us!
Laguna: Don't worry. I can shoot all of them with just one bullet. Bang!
(Cid sounds the buzzer.)
Cid: Home shopping network.
Selphie: And how much do you think a gun like that is worth?
Laguna: 500 gil?
Selphie: Oh, no.
Laguna: 1000 Gil?
Selphie: Oh, much more!
Laguna: Your first born son?
Selphie: That's getting there! But for today only, you can get the shiny new 007™ for only 5000 gil!
Laguna: Wow!
(Cid hits the buzzer.)
Cid: Star Wars.
Laguna: But that doesn't matter, because I'm you brother's sister's uncle's third cousin's third college roommate!
Selphie: Oh, no! What does that mean?
Laguna: Absolutely nothing!
Selphie: Noooooooooooo!
(Cid sounds the buzzer.)
Cid: (Laughing.) Ok, thank you! (Selphie and Laguna sit back down.) Let's see…now it's on to a game called superheroes. This is for all four contestants, and Irvine will start, and as the others appear, they'll be given a name. Now what sort of superhero should Irvine be? (Audience shouts suggestions.) Cowboy man. Something tells me you'll fit very well for that part Irvine. Now what sort of crisis is going on? (He listens to more suggestions.) The world has run out of hot dogs! (Laughs.) Now there's an original idea! All right, whenever you're ready Irvine.
Irvine: (In a deep Southern Accent.) Yeehaw! Well this here's a fine and dandy day! Better check the World Crisis Monitor, though! Good gracious! The whole darn world's done gone and run out of hotdogs! I hope my super-friends arrive soon!
(Squall walks up.)
Squall: Sorry, I'm late, I wasn't on time.
Irvine: Thank goodness you're here, Cliché' man!
Squall: Well, you know, what goes up must come down! Leave no prisoners and all.
Irvine: The world has run out of hotdogs!
Squall: Great Scott! Well, when the chips are down…
(Selphie walks up.)
Selphie: Sorry, I'm late, traffic.
Squall: It's a good thing you're here, Girl Who Constantly Shouts.
Selphie: ANYTHING TO BE OF HELP!
Irvine: We've to find a way to get all the hotdogs back!
Selphie: WELL, KEEP THINKING!
Squall: There's no time to lose!
(Laguna walks in.)
Laguna: Sorry I'm so late; I didn't feel like coming in early.
Selphie: THANK GOODNESS YOU"RE HERE, ETERNALLY STONED MAN!
Laguna: (In a spaced-out tone.) Yeah, man, glad I'm here too. I'm really hungry though.
Irvine: Well, keep your boots on cowboy, cuz' the world's out of hotdogs!
Laguna: Woah, man! That's, like, a major bummer, man!
Selphie: WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
Laguna: I think I'm gonna mellow out some more, and try to find an answer. Peace out! (Leaves.)
Selphie: (Pauses for a second.) I'M NO GOOD HERE! (Leaves.)
Squall: Well, when the chips are down… (Leaves.)
Irvine: (A bit unsure what to do next.) Well…Umm…Not exactly a tragedy averted, but then again, we ain't all perfect!
(Cid sounds the buzzer.)
Cid: Thank you Irvine. I must say, if I am ever in need of Superheroes, you'll be the last one on my list. (Laughter.)
Ok, now let's move on to a game called Party Quirks. And the host is Squall. The other three have a character to play, as noted in their envelopes. Whenever you're ready, Squall.
Squall: Got everything ready. The guests should be arriving anytime now…
(Cid rings the doorbell.)
Laguna: (Supposed to be allergic to everything.) Hey Squall. (Sneezes.)
Squall: Good to see you Laguna!
Laguna: (Sneezes.) Oh, man, I feel terrible! (Sneezes.) I think it's the dust, carpeting, food, etc. That's all around here!
Squall: Oh, well…Too bad you're allergic to practically everything.
(Cid sounds the buzzer, Applause.)
(Doorbell.)
Squall: Hi Selphie!
Selphie: (Supposed to be Ultimecia.) Ah, hello Squall.
Squall: Care for some sunflower seeds?
Selphie: SeeDs? Ugh! SeeD, SeeD, SeeD. Kurse all SeeDs!
Squall: Geez, you act like you're Ultimecia or something!
(Cid sounds the buzzer, Applause.)
(Doorbell.)
Irvine: (Supposed to be a salesman.) Hello, there Squall! Interested in buying one of my new 4-in-1 screwdrivers?
Squall: Not really…
Irvine: Or how about one of my new "How to sell a book for 100 Gil"? Just 100 gil!
Squall: No way! Go away, you salesperson, you!
(Cid sounds the buzzer, Applause.)
Cid: All right, now it's time for a game called World's Worst. This is for all four contestants, and you all have to come up with examples of the world's worst Sorceresses.
Squall: Never mind the man behind the curtain!
Selphie: Hmm, what does this spell do?
Laguna: Must…have…magic…Esthar™ brand magic wand with flashing jewels!
Irvine: Time Compression? What's that?
Selphie: I demand my own line of fashion designer clothing!
Squall: (As if reading from a book.) Hmm…repeat three times…there's no place like home…
Laguna: Argh! I'm melting, melting!
Selphie: I can't fight today! I'm having a bad hair day!
(Cid sounds the buzzer.)
Cid: Thank you all of you! That's all the time we have for today, so for Squall, Selphie, Laguna, and Irvine, this is Cid Kramer, saying "Goodnight." Goodnight!