FF8- Who's Line is it Anyway?
Cid: Hello, I'm Cid Kramer and welcome to Who's Line is it Anyway, the improvisational show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are just like Galbadia's level 1 military. (laughter) Today's contestants are: Everyone's favorite hero, Squall Leonhart! Everyone's favorite time travel gal Ellone! Everyone's favorite journalist-turned-président, Laguna Loire! And finally everyone's favorite seconday hero, Kiros Seagill! (applause) Let's get started with a game called two-line vocabulary. This is for Squall, Ellone and Laguna. Squall, you are about to lead your party to battle the Omega Weapon in Ultemicia's Castle. Laguna and Ellone are your party members. However, Laguna and Ellone are only allowed to say the two lines that I'm going to give them. Ellone, your lines are 'Should i be doing this?' and 'Oh my God that's enormous!' (laughter) Laguna, your lines are 'Should i use my gun?' and 'What's that?' So take it away Squall.
Squall: Ok team as soon as the others ring the bell, Omega Weapon is going to appear.
Laguna: What's that?
Squall: It's the Mega-Boss of the castle. It's going to be a tough battle.
Ellone: Should I be doing this?
Squall: Don't lorry Sis, you'll be fine.
Laguna: Should I use my gun?
Ellone: Oh my God….That's enormous!
Squall: No, not yet! The bell has to be rung first.
Ellone: (making a rope tugging motion) Should i be doing this?
Laguna: What's that?
Squall: No, no! The other team will ring the bell! Ding! Ding! There's the bell, and there's Omega Weapon!
Ellone: Oh my God, that's enormous!
Laguna: Should i use my gun?
Squall: Yes! Use it now!
(Laguna makes gun shooting motions)
Ellone: (hides behind Squall) Should I be doing this?!
Squall: No, no! I need you to help!
Laguna: (points at Ellone) Should i use my gun?
Squall: At this point I dont care anymore…
(Cid sounds buzzer)
Cid: (laughing) Thank you guys…It's a good thing we have you all to save the world right? So thats 1 point to everyone. (laughter) On to the next game, which is called Scenes From a Hat. (pulls out a top hat) This is for all four of you, and what we've done is have the audience write down suggestions for little scenes they want to see acted out and we've taken the good ones and put them in this hat and we'll see how many they can act out, starting with…Unlikely endings to a Final Fantasy game.
(Squall and Laguna walk up and face each other.)
Laguna: Squall…I am your father!
Squall: Yeah…I know…You've told me eight times already.
Laguna: Oh…
(Cid sounds buzzer)
(Ellone and Kiros walk out)
Ellone: Thank you! But your princess is in another castle!
Kiros: Mama Mia!
(Cid sounds buzzer)
Cid: Squall and Vincent Valentine meeting for the first time.
(Kiros and Squall walk up)
Squall: Sis…
Kiros: Lucretia…
Squall: Sis…
Kiros: Lucretia…
Squall:…
Kiros:…
(Cid sounds buzzer)
Cid: What Galbadia's soldiers were thinking during the Dollet battles.
Ellone: Those SeeDs dont stand a chance! I bet theyre not even level two like us!
Kiros: I'm sure they're not stocked with any speiss or GFs or items or..
(Cid sounds buzzer)
Cid: What…Cid Kramer is thinking right now. (laughs)
Laguna: I thought I had more authority than the Garden staff…
Ellone: I wish i had that Cloud guy to help fight the Sorceress…
Kiros: What do you mean i look like Robin Williams?
(Cid sounds buzzer)
Cid: (laughs) Well done everybody, a thousand points apiece. Our net game is called Who's Line and it features Kiros and Ellone. I'm going to give each of you two pieces of paper with a line written on each of them and you're going to have to use them whenever you can for this scene which is Ellone and Kiros are investigating strange events at the mansion in Windhill. So take it away you two.
Kiros: I've been hearing reports of a ghost in this mansion so let's go see.
Ellone: Yes let's solve this mystery. Like our motto says…(reads paper 1) Who let the dogs out?
Kiros: (trying not to laugh) Who indeed? (Makes a door opening motion) Here we are… There's a note on the table here it says…(reads paper 1) Roll that beautiful bean footage!
Ellone: Right…(giggles) Hey look on the staircase! What's that?
Kiros: It is a ghost! Wow! It looks likes trying to say something!
Ellone: Yes i think its….(reads paper 2) Don't walk behind a chocobo during a parade!
Kiros: No no! Its….(reads paper 2) Make it a large and hold the pickles!
(Laughter)
(Cid sounds the buzzer)
Cid: Alright well done both of you but i can't give any point because…well just because. (laughter) Our last game is called World's Worst and its for all four of you. So come on down to the World's Worst Step and give examples of the World's Worst examples of failed Final Fantasy concepts.
Kiros: Ok ok here goes. Selphie Quistis and Rinoa all dress like strippers and go flying around doing jobs for money!
(Cid sounds buzzer)
Kiros: And they all fight by changing clothes!
(Cid sounds buzzer)
Squall: (pretends to be writing) A meteor hits the planet and spirits come out of it and kill anyone they touch…
(Cid sounds buzzer)
Ellone: In a world where nothing goes wrong….Nothing went wrong…ever…
(Cid sounds buzzer)
Laguna: Final Fantasy XIV….Squall's stand-up routine…
(Cid sounds buzzer)
Kiros: Ultemicia discovers Hooked on Phonics…
(Cid sounds buzzer)
Cid: Thank you everyone. Thats all the time we have for today so for now goodbye!