A/N: Well, here we are yet again! Thanks to everyone who is reading the Voice's Great and Terrible Blog. He really appreciates it. And a big thank you to Empress of Pudding for being my second review, and for giving me HILARIOUS usernames. I swear, I laughed till I cried. Those are brilliant. Now, on with the randomness!!
Saturday
W-O-W!! Did anyone see Ironman? That movie was freaking CRAZY!!1! Tony Stark is now, like, my new bestest friend. He's funny, AND he can make things blow up! That's, like, amazing. Kudos to the Starkster.
I decided to go the store today for some milk. I wuv milk. Milk is teh stuff that makes the world go round. (Note my 'teh' usage) But, while I was at the store, there was this old lady trying to decide which cheese she wanted to buy. So, of course, I began to get suspicious. Who was the lady? Why couldn't she decide which cheese she liked? Why didn't she get American cheese, like everyone else on the freaking planet? But, I never voiced my suspicions (No pun intended. Ha! I've always wanted to say that...) She just looked like some random unsuspecting old lady that couldn't decide which kind of cheese she wanted (Here's a no-brainer, lady: Get BOTH cheeses. Or, get neither of them if you can't get both. Sheesh.) So, I casually walked by, when she turned around and let out this giant GASP! I swear, you would have thought she was having a freaking heart attack or something! So I whirled around to face the crazy lady (Which I now assumed she was) and she was staring straight at me! At first, I thought it was because I was so devilishly handsome, 'cuz you know, voices are known to be devilishly handsome. But instead, the crazy hag started beating me! With her freaking purse no less. I felt like I was a teenager again (Ahh...Good times...) and she was whacking me for hitting on her granddaughter!
But then, I realized. She was OlFart's wife. 'Nough said. Yikes.
So I cheesed it outta there, not wanting to stick around for the wrath that is OlFart999. 'Cuz that would be bad. Like seriously. These people could go off the deep end at ANY time.
Max says I should go and see that shrink from the show Bones. Y'know him? The one Booth has to go to 'cuz he shot the clown? Gordon Gordon? Yeah, him. I would be EXTREMELY offended if it wasn't for the fact that Gordon Gordon is the coolest guy since Chuck Norris. Do YOU think I should go and see Gordon Gordon?? I'm not THAT crazy, right? Hey! I'm not the one with the freaking VOICE in my head! I AM the Voice! So WHAT NOW!!11!!/??
MaXiMuMvOiCe OuT!
COMMENTS:
Subj: Dude...
What is with you? You're the weirdest...voice...I think I've ever met before. Heck, you're the ONLY voice I've ever met before. But let's face it. Everyone knows that I'm cooler. I'm a bird kid, I can blow stuff up, I'm funny, AND I'm blind. Now THAT is some serious scillage.
(Posted by TehBlindPyro43)
Re: Subj: Dude...
For you're information, Iggy, Tony Stark does not have to be an annoying blind bird kid to be spectacular. 'Cuz he's Ironman. So yeah. Beat that!
Re: Re: Subj: Dude...
I already freaking HAVE! It takes no skill whatsoever to be a mechanic when you can see! But how is it that a fourteen year old teenager, with no sight, and flippin' awesome wings, I might add, can build a bomb just as good as a middle aged man WITH sight? Even though Ironman is totally awesome. He couldn't hold a candle to the awesomeness that is Iggy. Or the whole flock for that matter! Kudos to the Bird Kids! Yeah!
Re: Re: Re: Subj: Dude...
How the heck are you even typing this? You're blind!!1!
(Posted by MaXiMuMvOiCe)
Re: Re: Re: Re: Subj: Dude...
It's called technology, O Smart One! Get your stupid flying "kitty" to tell you about it!
(Posted by TehBlindPyro43)
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Subj: Dude...
I know all about technology, thank you very much! How the heck did you think I BECAME the voice? Huh!? Beat that! And besides, Patches doesn't even know how to talk. Yet.
(Posted by MaXiMuMvOiCe)
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Subj: Dude...
Dude, quit replying back to me! There are too many freaking Re's!!
(Posted by TehBlingPyro43)
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Subj: Dude...
Fine! But this discussion is not over yet, young man!
(Posted by MaXiMuMvOiCe)
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Subj: Dude...
What are you, my FATHER!? Do NOT reply back to that...
(Posted by TehBlingPyro43)
Subj: Holy mother of-!
Now this is just starting to get creepy. WHO ARE YOU!?
(Posted by JBatchelder0)
Subj: Hi Dad!
Heya, Pops! How's it going? I really like your blog. How come I'VE never met Patches before, and yet Ella has? Don't you wuv me? Don't you WUV ME!? I hate you!!1!! P.S. What are the freaky numbers that appeared yesterday on the back of my neck?
(Posted by Wolverine-6-6-psych!02)
Re: Subj: Hi Dad!
My son! How are you? Would you like to see Patches? Come over to my house tomor- Wait, WHAT!? What numbers!? Crap, DON'T MOVE!! We're sending SWAT to come and get you RIGHT AWAY!!1!!
Subj: What is wrong with you?
Seriously, there is something seriously WRONG about you. Quit harassing poor innocent old women in unsuspecting stores, you creep.
(Posted by Fnick#1)
Subj: Sam!
Sam! Wait! Where did you go? Fang, you idiot! You chased him off!
(Posted by Indestructably-Max890)
Subj: Thanks, Man!
Hey, Voice. Thanks for the comments about me. But keep it on the Down Low (People are suppose to know about it!!) So yeah. Anyway, cool blog!
(Posted by IrOnMaNrOx)
Sunday
NOOOOOO!!111!! Where the h-e-double toothpicks did the freaking weekend go!? I think I spent too much time golding this weekend...Curse you putting!! Why can't EVERY day be a weekend? (TEARS!!)
You know what I wuv? I wuv actions!! (Tear) (Smile) (Laugh evilly) (Grin evilly) (Dance) (Spin around insanely) (Spit) (Spit again) (Spit another time) (Yell at Max to tell her she's going the wrong freaking way) (Again) (Write in blog) (Go get random snack) (Eat snack) (Yawn) (Get tired of actions) (Stop doing actions)
So that comment yesterday posted by my darling son Ari was rather frightening. His expiration- I MEAN! Um...No, wait, that's exactly what I mean...I can't think of anything else...(Tear!)- date showed up yesterday. So now he's gunna croak. I wonder if he'll ever meet Patches? Probably not. Patches doesn't like blonde-haired Erasers that come from random annoying Voices. She's very specific on her likes and dislikes. But don't worry- She wouldn't like Iggy, either, who is SO NOT COOLER THAT IRONMAN!!
I've decided that I probably DO need to see Gordon Gordon. Seeing as EVERYONE thinks that there's something wrong with me!!(You meanies!!)(TEAR!!) But, the real question is not IF I should see him. It's WHERE to find him. (Nods wisely)
MaXiMuMvOiCe OuT!
COMMENTS:
Subj: EEEK!
Wait! Ari is gunna die!? That can't be possible! See!? If you're me, I would have HAD that memory! Which I DON'T! This is horrible!!
(Posted by JBatchelder0)
Re: Subj: EEEK!
Oh, Jeb, Jeb, Jeb...You knew it was going to happen one day!
(Posted by MaXiMuMvOiCe)
Subj: Haha!
Hey, dude, this is actually pretty funny! I would totally love it if not for the fact that you're actually EXACTLY how you sound in real life! See ya, Voice! Oh, and remember to stay upwind! I'm feeling pretty gassy these days. Oh! And another thing: No one is following us. Those voices you hear aren't people from school. Trust me. I would know. (Wink!)
(Posted by staydownwind5555555)
Subj: Stop with the emotions!
Just STOP it! You're driving me CRAZY! And Sam- if you KNOW WHAT IS GOOD FOR YOU- Keep away.
(Posted by Fnick#1)
Subj: Max!
Don't worry, Max! Nothing could keep me away for too long! Especially not jealous teenage bird kids!! Oh, and Voice- keep it up! Still laughing like crazy!!
(Posted by Sam-oh-Rama546)
Subj: Hey! I'm not THAT bad!!
WTF!? I am NOT that bad at golf, thank you very much. I mean, how do YOU golf!? You're a VOICE!
(Posted by Ellallella987)
Re: Subj: Hey! I'm not THAT bad!!
Trust me, sweety, you are.
(Posted by MaXiMuMvOiCe)