Chapter 4

"Explain to me again why we are sharing a room, please."

Wolf sighed. "I gave Arbiter my room. You vets get the suites, I figured you had the room. So here I am. Besides, you owe me for teaching you to waltz."

"But why couldn't you stay with someone else. Bowser? Or Mr. McCloud?"

"Why in god's name would I want to stay with Bowser? He snores. What's the matter, elf, don't you like me?"

"No, Mr. O'Donnell. I really, really don't."

"Are you still mad about your latent homosexuality? That's something you have to take care of yourself, no sense in getting mad at me."

"I am not gay, Mr. O'Donnell. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I am not. And I would like it if you would stop using such derogatory terms to describe me."

"Have you done the test?" Wolf asked, tail wagging curiously, a sinister grin spread across his lips, a grin that Link absolutely hated. In his homelands, he had seen the feral dogs tear apart a wounded steed, snapping and biting and rending and tearing, and when they were done and licked the blood away from their muzzles, he saw that same grin.

"What test?" he asked. He took his sword off the wall, and slipped it over his shoulders.

"The gay test of course. It's the only way to know for sure."

"I really don't like where this is going."

"Or do you love where this is going? One test, and it will tell me all I need."

Link knew better than to trust the lupine, with his grin and shifting mechanical eye, the ever present blue glow. "What's the test?"

"You have to commit to it fully, are you prepared to do it?"

"No, but if it will stop you, I will take my chances."

Wolf wasn't the fastest of the smashers. He had the endurance to run for miles, but he lacked a certain grace, a certain speed that Sonic or Falcon or even Zelda in her other form claimed. But he had fast hands, he could move his claws like lightning, and like lightning, he took hold of Link's collar and pulled him down. An extended boot tripped Link, and Wolf turned him so he would have landed on his back, had Wolf not kept a very firm grip on his tunic. Then, shifting his grip to the back of his head, Wolf leaned down and touched his muzzle to Link's lips.

Shock prevented any resistance for a good minute as the thick muscle of the lupine explored the elf's mouth. It was comparable to swallowing a hot wash cloth, the density and the slimy warmth, moving around, exploring every inch, against his cheek, against the roof, against his own tongue. His scream was muffled as the tongue moved further down his throat, nearly choking him. The tongue brushed his uvula and he had the urge to vomit. His hands beat at Wolf's skull, but Wolf just pressed further, and Link started to wonder just how long his tongue possibly could be. It felt like it was sliding all the way down to his stomach.

At last it stopped. Wolf let go of Link. Link simply collapsed on the ground, eyes wide, backing away in shock and disgust and Wolf wiped his mouth of excess drool.

"Did you like that?" he asked.

"No!"

"Then you're not gay, and I will stop making fun of you."

Link twisted to all fours and vomited sticky muck onto the floor. "Please, in the name of Farore, tell me that you take bathes like a normal person."

"What is normal in this crazy mansion?"

Link lunged, but it was an obvious attack, and Wolf merely sidestepped, allowing Link to stumble to the ground. He stood up, choking and coughing out any residual taste. He vomited again, but this time contained the bile to a waist paper basket. "I never want to see you in my room again. If I ever even see you again, I'll castrate you."

"Why does everyone keep telling me that?" he asked. He side stepped a swing of the Master Sword, before gathering up what few personal items he had brought with him and casually walked out.

"Samus," he said, knocking on her door.

The door opened fully, to display Samus wearing a tank top and denim pants, her whip/pistol in her waist band. It must have been the Arbiter's presence. She always got so jumpy when newcomers came around. It had taken her a good month to warm up to Wolf. "What do you want?"

"Link kicked me out, can I stay with you?"

"Why did he kick you out?" she asked, annoyed.

"You know him, the slightest little thing and he just throws a hissy fit. I swear, how he ever became a hero is a mystery."

"Good bye, Wolf," she said, attempting to close the door, but found his boot blocking it.

"Please. I'll be a good little mutt for you. I'll sleep at the foot of your bed, I won't chew on your slippers, I'll even get you the morning news."

She sighed, as if momentarily undecided. "I am going to regret this," she muttered as she opened the door and stepped aside.

With two tournaments to her name, Samus was given one of the mansions suites. While Wolf's personal quarters were barely larger than seven by seven feet, lacking anything save a bed and a dresser, she had a luxurious bathroom, a bed room/ living room, and a walk in closet. Why she had a walk in closet was anyone guess, seeing as she only had three outfits.

"Never picked you for a junkie," Wolf said, taking up a bottle of pills and shaking them to achieve the desired rattle. Samus reached for his wrist to pop the joint, but Wolf danced to his side and continued shaking. "Pain killers, what happened?"

"I had a match with Snake. He doesn't always hold back like he should, cracked my back weird with his CQC."

"These aren't going to do much good. Problem with drugs is they kill, don't heal. Why do you let me show you something?"

"Why the hell would I trust you?"

"Come on luv. I'll fuck with Link, but you scare me. When you say you'll turn me into a fur coat, I can imagine you sharpening your knife."

She stretched a little. The kink in her back wasn't really bothersome, but she was ever conscious of it when she shifted or stretched. It was an old injury that acted up whenever she was hit in just the right spot.

"Lay down on the bed, on your belly," Wolf smiled.

"Fuck you," she said calmly.

"Oh come on, what am I going to do? I'm sure you could break my neck no matter how I'm on you. Just lay down on your belly, that's right." He crawled onto her bed, onto her, sitting just on the small of her back, tail wagging before settling on the back of her left knee. He leaned forward, retracted his claws from his paws and took gentle hold of her shoulders.

"Massaging doesn't work on me," she muttered. "Can't be hypnotized either. Mewtwo tried once." Wolf leaned forward and took hold of the back of her head, gently burying her nose in the pillow. Dexterous thumbs worked this way and that, just beneath the shoulder blade under the protruding bone. Applying pressure, he felt the muscles in her back loosen beneath his sensitive pads. She was always so tense. He could see it as clearly as anything else. She needed to loosen up if she ever wanted to overcome this nagging pain.

"Alright," she admitted. "That does feel good."

Wolf's tail wagged as she shifted under him, resting more fully flat. He stopped putting his weight on his knees and rested on her, though she didn't seem to mind much. Now that she was relaxed a little, his paws moved lower down and began massaging her ribs, kneading the tight, toned skin like dough. When he started on her spine and the base of her back, he was fairly certain she would turn and crack him across the jaw, but she just sunk deeper.

"Where do you learn to do all this stuff?"

"Back when I was a kid, we didn't have fancy medicines. Kinda had to learn what pressing what felt like. When my dad broke my arm, I had plenty of time to learn pressure points." She was aware that Wolf cut off her tank top, starting at the back of the collar and working his way down, the sharp claw cutting through the cloth without resistance, tracing on the skin but not drawing blood. She didn't stop him.

"Is there anything you can't do?"

"Lick my elbows," he offered. Extending the claw of his forefinger, he gently poked her spine and broke the skin. "This should unlock your ninth chakra, and then you'll attain inner peace. If you want to roll onto your back, I can starting working on your stomach. Helps with digestion."

"Don't push it," she muttered.

She felt his weight grow heavier as he leaned forward, his snout sniffed at her bare skin. He noticed the spot of broken capillaries and slight purple breaking the monotony on the peach canvas, the start of a bruise. He was tender in touching that, rubbing it, and taking note of how Samus shifted. It would be easier if her ears moved or she had a tail, but he could more or less tell if he was touching the right spot by how she shifted.

"If you ever mention this to anyone," Samus started, but Wolf put pressure at the top of her right shoulder, near the neck, and he eased her back down to the pillow. "That does feel good."

"I know, you already said that. I'm sure that we can find some way to repay this little debt you're working up. Come on Samus, people spend hundreds of dollars to get massages like this. Oh, stay down." He pushed his thumbs to the top of her spine, where it fused with the skull. "No money. I just want to share your bed. You can sleep under the covers and I can be on top. I just hate having to sleep on the couch."

"If I wake up and you're snuggling close, I swear to god you will go through the window."

"What if you make the first moves?"

"Why would I ever do that?"

"I don't know, but it's going to be a long night."

I've wanted to have Wolf kiss Link since the first chapter of Of Men and Mewtwo, but for the life of me, I just couldn't work it in. Even the hugging incident in Halloween Havoc, kissing was a step too far since they still needed the working relationship. I'm probably going to get a letter from the LGBT, and I'm sure my more homophobic readers will be marching to my house with pitchforks and torches, but by god it's worth it.