It's been a year and I still can't find my bloody powers! It is so annoying. I guess I know now why Edward use to get so frustrated.
I keep thinking if I should go back or at least call them. But then I decide if they want to know more or just talk they can come here. Before I would be able to hear their thoughts from all the way over in Italy when they're in America, but no more.
Noah, (the other addition, not quite new anymore) is apparently showing an interest in me. Dimitri, (one of the guards) tells me I should pay attention. That Noah is a nice bloke and I should give him a chance. But how can I do that when I have all the memories of Jacob? I can't tell anyone about my relationship or what was my relationship with Jacob. Aro was distraught when Jacob 'took' my powers. But the thing is, I miss all of my family like hell and I still want to see them even when I've convinced myself otherwise.
It's around 4pm and I am about to go hunting. I still eat/drink whatever, animal blood. I have disappointed Carlisle enough without adding this one humungous complication to things.
But something feels wrong. It feels like I should stay for some odd reason. That Aro or someone from the guard or council (that is what we call Aro, Marcus and Caius.) will need me. Its odd when I feel that but yeah normally my gut is right.
But I am getting incredibly thirsty. I could eat human food but it doesn't help for that long only about an hour or two. That will have to do; this…gut feeling is too strong.
* * *
I was right if I didn't stay I would have missed something big. The only reason I know right now was because Aro thought I should.
We got a note from the Cullen's. Well Bella really.
Dear Renesme,
The last time I saw you that short year ago; I was hoping it was you. Obviously prayers do get answered. Before you say I don't pray like I know you would, I started the day I got your letter. Asking whoever was listening to ask you to come home. It was exactly answered in the fact that you didn't stay but I saw you where safe and that is all I can ask.
Your father doesn't know that I am sending this letter; I thought that would be for the best. You know him.
Anyway, I think you should try and stay away from here, as in wherever we are or wherever Jake is. It will only result in heartbreak. When you didn't come back the second time everyone changed, they had too much hope that you where going to come back, come home.
I guess not all prayers and wishes are answered after all.
Anyway, I hope you are well. If you write back address it to only me. You know our permanent address.
I love you so much and I miss you,
Bells a.k.a. mum
I was crying by the end of the letter. Now I really wish I left to go hunting when I was meant to and ignore my gut.