Chapter 5: Epilogue

Disclaimer: I can honestly say that if I did own the Saiyuki boys I would be laughing in ALL of your faces right now. But I don't. So I cant…yeah. It sucks.

Note: Yep. This is the last one folks. I'm sorry that its pretty short.

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'What happened?' was the first thought that entered Sanzo's mind. He opened his eyes slowly. He was on his back in the middle of a field. The others were still asleep, or unconscious, on the ground near him. They were all back in their normal clothes and there was nothing to suggest, other than the fact that they were in a random field, that anything had ever happened.

Sanzo stood up and took out a much needed smoke. He then started tapping Goku, who was nearest him, with his foot. "Wake up monkey." Goku's eyes soon fluttered open.

"Nya. Wassa matter Sanzo?" Goku asked still half asleep. He rubbed his eyes and looked around. "Where are we?"

"In a field obviously." Sanzo took a long drag from his Marlboro.

"Yeah but how'd we get here?" Goku got up and started to wake up Hakkai and Gojyo.

"Hell if I know." Sanzo mumbled carelessly.

"What happened?" Hakkai asked as he got up.

"All that high school stuff…wasn't a dream, right?" Gojyo asked standing next to Hakkai.

"I don't think so Gojyo." Hakkai smiled

"If it was a dream we wouldn't have all had it dipshit." Sanzo grumbled lighting up a second Marlboro.

"Fuck you monk!"

"Hi guys!" Fred shouted, poofing into existence.

"Waagh! Jeeze! Warn someone before you just pop up!" Goku shouted. Fred had poofed up directly in front of the monkey, causing him to fall.

"Very sorry. But you guys did it! And you didn't even kill anyone." Fred beamed.

"Yes, but what happened? How did we get knocked out and wake up here?" Hakkai asked with a small frown.

"Oh that. Well I needed to come up with a way to make it not suspicious that you four only stayed for a day. So I made it so that you all got hit by a bus!" Fred smiled brightly.

"WHAT?!"

"Yeah. Don't worry. I made copies of your bodies so that it wont seem like they just disappeared." Fred said reassuringly.

"We got hit by a bus?" Goku asked shocked.

"Its better than what I did to Hazel." Fred said seriously.

"What happened to him?" Goku asked with a smile.

"Well I couldn't really think of anything after the bus thing. So I just had him attacked by a pack of rabid squirrels." Fred smiled. Goku and Gojyo busted out laughing. Hakkai tried to hide his quiet laughter behind his hand and even Sanzo let out an amused smirk.

"Well I guess getting hit by a bus isn't that bad." Hakkai smiled.

"Yeah. So we get our wishes now, right?" Goku asked excitedly.

"Yes. But first you must answer one question. What important lesson did you learn?" Fred asked.

"Lesson?" Goku looked lost.

"You didn't say anything about learning a lesson, pisslick!" Gojyo growled.

"Okay. I'll give you guys a hint. The lesson is that your lives could be much worse! If you ever find yourself thinking, 'My life really sucks right now.' remember that you could be in a redneck filled high school." Fred beamed.

"What kind of hint is that?" Sanzo asked raising an eyebrow.

"Well its more like the complete answer." Fred grinned.

"Well that does make sense." Hakkai smiled.

"Are you kidding me? That place would have been paradise if Mr. High and Mighty Dick here would've let me have some time with those ladies." Gojyo pouted while pointing at Sanzo.

"Suck it up, cockroach." Sanzo muttered.

"Right, well now on to your wishes." Fred grinned putting his hands in his pockets. "What do you want?"

"I want all the good food I can eat!" shouted guess who.

"I want the kappa to lose the ability to have sex." Sanzo said deadpan.

"What was that asshole?!" Gojyo snarled.

"You heard me moron."

"Fine! Then I wish you have to try and get with every woman we see for the rest of the trip!" Gojyo smiled triumphantly.

"Fine. No more stops then." Sanzo glared.

"That still leaves Yaone-san whenever she comes." Hakkai smiled.

"Shut it Hakkai!" Sanzo snarled.

"So what would you like Hakkai-chan?" Fred smiled.

"Hm. I wish for our safety while on this trip." he smiled.

"Wow. Yours is the only considerate wish Hakkai-chan. Well then I'll do my thing." Fred waved his hands magically and four pieces of paper popped up in front of all four of the guys.

"What's this?" Sanzo asked, looking at his.

"An I.O.U." Fred smiled.

"You mean to say that we did all that and all we get is a freaking I.O.U?" Sanzo snarled threw gritted teeth.

"Yeah. You'll all have to deal with that. I cant do magic. I'm a muse. Not a fairy." Fred laughed.

"Then why do you have fairy wings?!" Goku asked angrily.

"Holysinner wanted me to have them." he beamed yet again.

"DIE BASTARD!!!!!" Sanzo yelled firing his gun at the muse. Fred disappeared with a laugh and the guys were left with a very homicidal Sanzo.

It took quite a while and quite a bit of pain for Goku and Gojyo but they finally calmed Sanzo. Jeep had turned up during the fight and soon they were on the road again, heading towards the sunset. Goku and Gojyo arguing in the back, Sanzo threatening their lives, and Hakkai just smiling and driving.

"Hey guys! Wanna know something funny that I just found out?" Goku asked with a laugh.

"What is it Goku?" Hakkai asked.

"Heh heh. We still have those boxers on." he snickered.

"If we ever see that muse again he's dead." Sanzo grumbled lighting up a Marlboro.

**End**

Me: And that's the end. My first Saiyuki fanfic. *sniff* so sad.

Sanzo: Never write another.

Me: Sorry. Fred already shoved another idea in my brain. Don't worry, it should be good.

Goku: Do I get good food in it?

Me: Uh…sure.

Goku: Yay!

Gojyo: Do I get to be with a chick in it?

Me: Probably not.

Gojyo: Wha? Why not?

Me: I don't know. A little abstinence is good for you.

Gojyo: No its not! *whines*

Me: Fine! I'll let you be with one girl in my next fic. But that's all.

Gojyo: Yes!

Sanzo: If there's anything he needs its castration.

Gojyo: You wanna start something baldie?

Hakkai: Now, now. Lets calm down.

Me: Thank you all for reading my dears! Please review! I would be delighted if you would join me for my next fic which should be coming up shortly. Oh! And I am thinking about cutting these author notes with me and the boys at the end out of my next fic. But I have decided that I'll let the reviewers decide. If there are just two people who want me to keep the little interactions then just say so in you reviews. In the mean time I send you all my love. See you all soon, Holysinner.