Author's note: one two many strawberry lemonades. can hardly type. please review. putting myself out of my misery.

If Gunther was not happy, he didn't know what he was! He had the woman he loved beside him, and the open road before the two of them. Of course, the woman he loved did not love him, and it was really three people, but there were still on the open road! That counted, right?

"You know, this somewhat reminds me of the quest Sir Ivon sent me on with Sir Bedwyr."

"Oh, how so?" Gunther said, trying to pretend he had only passing interest, not a physical need to hang on her every word, listening as her beautiful lips mouthed words like honey onto his soul. He wasn't doing all that well.

"Well, in the first case, we had been looking for a bone knife merchant, Geordie, and in the second place, it was also in Skegness. Of course, then it was only me and Jester, no children to worry over. My first quest as a knight. And what was your first quest, again?"

"Nothing, nothing really. Just sneaking into an enemy camp and capturing the general of the forces, who then told us the location of his superiors, allowing us to capture them and win the entire war in less than a week. Keep going," Gunther had been hurt when she had mentioned Gunther, all the more so because of the faraway look in her eyes she got when se thought of those she loved. Gunther never got those looks. But to be able to hear this angel continue speaking, he would fight through ravaging hordes, destroy monsters, wrestle giants, and turn over the very world. He convinced her to talk in greater detail, but eventually she began to feel awkward and dropped back to talk to Smithy over something in hushed tones.

"Were you in the throne room when the King gave Gunther his orders?"

"No, Jane."

"And you're sure he said the King said I was to go?"

"Yes, Jane. I do not know why you are suspicious of him."

"I'm afraid of what he might do to spend time with me."

"Are you implying…"

"Of course not."

"That is good, because I saw the knife myself. That seems a bit drastic, to buy a knife just to spend time near to you. I think you have too much imagination, Jane."

"Of course," Jane responded, but still looked somewhat suspicious. Smithy did not really understand her suspicion. Gunther was a knight of the King's guard. If he was not above suspicion, no one was. Especially considering the fact that it wasn't the first time that Gunther had been accused of a crime, and Jane had defended him that time. Why would Jane suspect Gunther? It was beyond Smithy.

But then again, Smithy never really was the one who picked up on subtleties. Jane, however, had noticed that however much she spurned him, however much she mentioned Jester, he always and irreversibly remained the same lovesick puppy he had been all those years ago. Granted, he had been trying to hide it for a while after she chose Jester, and she had even thought it possible to just be friends, but the past year had revealed that to be an impossibility, especially after Fiona getting pregnant with his own child. Jane had the utmost respect for Fiona, especially since she did not seem to mind her husband's straying eyes.

OoOoO

Fiona hated Jane. She obviously was trying to steal Gunther from her. She had realized that her glorified jingling punching bag was useless, and now she was trying to seduce Gunther right out from under Fiona. Well, two could play at that game! After a stop in the privy, of course.

Fiona waddled her way over to the home of the d'Arks. She became increasingly intrigued when she noticed the sound of a crying baby. She knocked on the door politely, and then realized that no one could hear 'politely' against a screaming child, so she put her wait into knocking.

"No, Sir William, I don't have the ballad you wan- Hello, Mrs. Breech." Jester did not do as many friends of Jane did, beginning by calling her by his wife's name. "Do you have a favor to ask of me?" Jester was with one hand attempting to appease the three year old Janet while scrubbing something off the floor. The entire home was in a state of disarray unheard of in the Breech household.

"That is IT! I quit I have had enough of city life! I don't care what me mother says! First that over-demanding cook, and now this mess! For goodness sakes, 'Where is the Lady d'Ark?' 'She is searching for a criminal in Skegness'! I can't take it! I am going back to the farm, and there is nothing anyone one can do to stop me!" A rather disheveled woman came tearing down the steps, which had been hidden by layers of useless furniture, pounded some clothes into a sack, and stormed out the door.

"Sorry. We like to take in Valentine's kitchen help. None have lasted very long, though not of my fault, I don't think. What do you need?"

Fiona realized that Jester could never fall for anyone but his wife, and even if he did, Fiona did not want him, so she decided to be less coy. "Tell your wife to stay away from my husband."

"That may be difficult, since the King assigned them to work together."

"Not just this, but he is constantly trailing after her. She must be encouraging this, because Gunther would never attempt something believed to be impossible. Make her stop."

"I cannot. If Gunther is trailing after her, I must believe that he has some reason, and if Jane is leading him, she must have a reason. I will not, however, hear you imply in my house that my wife is trying to seduce your husband. I hope that you do not start every conversation by implying that the person whom you are speaking with's spouse is unfaithful, as that is not a good way to find yourself liked. Now if you don't mind, leave my house."

"But your wife is obvio-"

"Get OUT of my house, and stop spreading such slanderous rumors!" For those of you who have not seen Jester angry, it is a thing to avoid. He is normally an amiable person, but if someone says something against Jane's honor, it is a force to be reckoned with. Fiona left, annoyed at her failure, hoping that Jester will come to realize what Fiona saw as truth.