Here's Stage 5. I hope Stage 4 made sense in the grand scheme of things. This one is a lot more fun getting back into the humor of the first three chapters, but also keeps in tune with the increasingly personal nature of the stages. After this only one more chapter to go. Let me know what you think.
Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Bones arrived at the diner with ten minutes to spare. She'd fallen asleep and slept soundly, despite the erotic dreams of Booth, after she had given herself three very satisfying orgasms with her toys after he had left the evening before. One of the dreams that she'd had was of him being there with her as she used her toys, giving him a bit of a show before letting him take her. She woke up at 5 and was so turned on that she used her hands to bring herself to another orgasm before getting up for the day.
"Hi Booth," she said with a smile. He'd apparently arrived a bit ago as he was already having coffee.
Booth looked up. He breathed a sigh of relief. Nothing too provocative in how she was dressed, thank God. He hadn't slept a wink the whole night, yet again. Not only did he have images in his head that were driving him nuts, but he also had the feel of her skin in his memory to add to the frustration. A few cold showers and a lot of coffee were all that was allowing him to appear awake.
"Hey, Bones," he replied as he stood politely, though he knew that she didn't really appreciate such displays of chivalrous behavior.
"Let's have some breakfast and then go shopping," she said with a wicked smile and gleam in her eyes.
Booth groaned. "Why the hell are you making me go shopping with you to a sex shop?" he whined. His voice sounded like a child complaining, but he didn't care. He was about to be humiliated yet again, and he was not thrilled by the prospect. What's worse was the fact that she knew full well that he wouldn't refuse her anything she asked.
"Ordinarily I have Angela go with me, as she appreciates those products as much as I do," Bones began to explain.
Booth tried desperately to get the image of Angela with sex toys out of his head. Granted, if he had to guess that a particular woman had a large collection of sex toys it would be Angela, but he wasn't interested in Angela in that way. Wanting Bones was bad enough, but if he added Angela to the mix he was sure to be depressed for the rest of his life. Best to stick to one woman. He continued to listen to Bones.
"She's already got plans for today, though, so I decided to have you come along. It will also allow me to get a mans perspective on what I'm buying," she finished.
"But why me?" he asked resignedly. At least he didn't have a hard on, but he knew that would change when they got to the sex shop.
The temptation was very high to simply reveal her real intent, but she fought it. There was also the fact that she did really want to go to the sex shop and make the purchases that she had made up the list for. She'd already been planning on going to the sex shop for a couple of weeks before she had decided that she'd had enough of Booth's ridiculous line.
"Because you're my closest friend and your viewpoint is more valid than anyone's in my opinion," she let him know, hoping that he would know that she was talking about much more than just his opinion on sex toys.
"Now she tells me," he muttered.
"What?" she asked.
"Nothing," he said with a somewhat forced smile. "So how long will this little excursion take us?" he asked.
"I was hoping we could spend the day together, after we're done at the store," she said with an almost shy smile.
Booth raised a brow. This was unusual. Sure they spent time together a lot, and even some days on the weekend, but this seemed awfully spur of the moment. That suspicion that something was going on was back. "Sure," he smiled. Genuinely this time as he couldn't let himself be too worried if she wanted to spend a day with him.
Breakfast went quickly. Too quickly for Booth, and now they were in her car driving to the sex shop. Booth spent the entire drive fidgeting, while Bones had a smile on her face. She was pleased to see that, while he was nervous, and a bit flustered, he was handling it well. After a twenty minute drive outside the city, she pulled into a nondescript parking lot in front of the sex shop she generally went to for her sexual aids.
"Do I really have to do this, Bones?" Booth groaned from his seat.
"Do you really want to hear how much like a child you're acting like?" she shot back, knowing that it would challenge him to suck it up and be a man.
"Let's go," he said with a false bravado and opened his passenger side door, exiting her sports car.
Bones walked into the shop and immediately went to the lingerie section. She would never buy sexy lingerie here, preferring the more high class Victoria Secret lines, unless she was going to be engaging in some serious role playing with a lover, but she wanted to milk this stage with Booth for all it was worth. As far as sex shops went, this one was fairly upscale, though it did have that seedy feel to it that all low brow establishments had. She'd been buying her sex toys and implements here for about six years now. When she got to a rack with some rather naughty looking panties and matching bras, she stopped and began pulling some out in her size. She was looking at them carefully when Booth, a dazed expression on his face, caught up to her.
"You really need to stay with me, Booth," she admonished, trying to hide the grin that was threatening. "I brought you here for your opinion, after all, and I can't very well get it if you're nowhere to be found."
"Uh huh," he awkwardly commented.
"What do you think of this set?" she asked with a serious look on her face. She held up the bra and panties to her front, letting him see, in a partial way, what they would look like against her.
Booth groaned. She had picked a peek-a-boo bra, all see through lace of course, and a pair of lace crotchless panties. He had a very vivid image in his head of Bones in front of him I nothing but the bra and panties, displaying herself to him. "I like it," he managed to get out in a fairly calm, normal tone. He could feel that squeaking tone trying to emerge, though. As it was his hard on was back and it was impossible to hide it.
"What about in the red?" she asked, putting the white one down and replacing it with the red one. She was enjoying his flummoxed look, and she had to restrain herself from licking her lips at the sight of his erection straining against his jeans.
For the next half an hour she went to the various racks and pulled out a number of different pieces of lingerie, each style and color a bit racier and bolder than the previous ones. She was essentially showing him a catalog of pieces a stripper of hooker would wear for work. The look on Booth's face as she described the specific features of each one and asking his opinion on how they would look on her was enough to make her laugh outright if it weren't for her incredible self control. She would definitely be telling Angela all about this shopping trip!
After making several selections, including the peek-a-boo bra and crotchless panty set, in the red, she took him over to the oils and lubricants. When she'd gone into the section she'd grabbed a hand held basket and placed the lingerie in it, and was now spending a good deal of time going through the new area.
"What about strawberry?" she asked Booth as she held up a bottle of massage oil.
"Huh?" he asked with a sort of glazed look in his eyes as he saw the unbelievable variety available.
"Strawberry flavored," she repeated. "Do you like strawberries, Booth?"
"Uh huh," he nodded his head, wondering why the hell she was asking if he liked it. This was getting weirder by the minute, and he was beginning to wonder if maybe he should have put Sweets on speed dial so he could have his head examined in an emergency. If ever he was in need of a shrink, then this was it.
"Good," she said as she placed a large bottle of the strawberry flavored oil in the basket. "I already know you like apples, so I'll just add a bottle of that, too," she continued, placing another bottle into the basket. She added some bottles of Lavender, Jasmine, and Rose scented oils as well.
"Now for some lubricants," she went on, walking them to the next aisle which, if anything, had an even more dizzying array of products.
"Holy Shit!" Booth exhaled the breath he'd been holding. "Is everybody on the planet fucking perverts???"
"Booth!" Bones called him up short in that professorial tone she sometimes used when she wasn't really mad at him, but wanted to enlighten him in his thinking. "Is masturbation wrong? Is the desire to keep a woman safe when having intercourse wrong? Is the idea of having a variety of sexual positions that may be made much more pleasant through the use of lubricants wrong? Just because people use these products, and have different likes and dislikes with respect to the products does not make them all perverts as you so scathingly refer to them as."
He didn't say a word, as he knew that if he did it would be wrong and he would not like the result. He just let her continue.
"I use these products, Booth," she continued. "Does it make me a pervert in wanting to make sure that penetration of your penis, or some phallic device, into my body is safe and will not hurt me? Is it perverted to make sure that the lubricant in question is designed for a specific purpose to make the activity as enjoyable as possible, such as specific lubricants that are for anal as opposed to vaginal sex?"
He could tell that she was finished. "Well, not when you put it like that," he admitted. He had mental images of her using those "phallic devices" running all around his mind and he knew he was in for another sleepless night at this rate. Something was still niggling in his mind that there was something decidedly off about all of this, though. The he caught onto something specific that she had said. "YOUR penis," she had said. Not "A penis", but his. Oh my God! "MY penis???" he blurted out when it hit him.
Bones groaned. It had slipped out without her realizing it. She'd wanted to keep it a bit impersonal for a bit longer to ramp up the tension a bit more, but her mind obviously had other plans.
"Yes, yours," she said in an exasperated tone. She decided that even if her plan was a bit dented, it could be salvaged with a little tweaking of his mind in the right direction. Tone was key.
"I don't get it," he replied. He was racking his brain trying to figure out when in the hell Bones had decided she wanted him. Sure he'd been having rather vivid, and sinful (at least according to his Priest, Father Mitch), dreams about her for years, but she'd been the one to always shut it down the second he started to discuss anything personal between them that hinted at more than partners and friends.
"Think of it in terms of pieces of evidence, Booth," Bones tried for an analogy. "What has been happening all week?"
"No sleep, plenty of talk on sexual stuff, and lots and lots of cold showers," he said quickly. They may be in a sex shop, but he was still damn uncomfortable talking about sex. Doing it was awesome, but not talking about it.
Bones wanted to scream. The man was a brilliant FBI agent and could piece together the most obscure clues and leads like no one she had ever seen before, but here he was with a virtual blueprint in her opinion and he was lost. MEN!!!!!!! "Let's break this down, Booth," she carefully led him through it. "What happened the first day when all this was starting?"
"You talked about sex toys and the different types that suspect had," he shuddered.
"And then?" she prodded. It was like pulling teeth, dammit!
"There was a hideous discussion about lubricants and flavored massage oils while I was trying to enjoy my apple pie," he shuddered again. "And after that you made me watch a sex film."
Bones laughed. "I hate to disillusion you, Booth, but that was not a sex film," she informed him. She waved her hand in the direction of another part of the store. "Those over there are sex films, Booth."
"Trust me, Bones, if boobs are flashed, it's a sex film, low rating or not," Booth defended himself. He sounded like an idiot, but he wasn't going to go down without a little dignity.
"What happened after that?"
Booth sighed. "I had to help you do an inventory of your own sex toys and the oils and lubricants you have, with a detailed description of what you like and dislike, followed up with a horrifying discussion about you period," he supplied somewhat lamely.
"And last night?" she prompted once more.
He couldn't hide the smile on that one, though he'd been frustrated as hell. "You asked me to give you a massage and I saw you naked," he said with a slightly dreamy quality to his voice, then quickly schooled his features.
"Only from the back, Booth," she corrected slightly. "And today I have you in a sex shop with me helping me with selecting some of the most personal, and intimate, items a woman can own. Now what does all that lead you to conclude?"
Booth thought about it all, and then thought about the nature of the various discussions and activities in order when it hit him. "It's been getting progressively more personal all week," he said as his eyes lit up like they always did when he figured out a case.
"Exactly," she smiled. "And what have I not been talking about when discussing these sexual topics, at least in the specific?"
He saw it in an instant. "You weren't discussing a sexual topic in relation to some guy you're sleeping with," he said as he eyes narrowed and zoomed in on hers. "There is no new guy, is there?" he demanded.
"No," she told him, still smiling. "There hasn't been for nearly three months. But I do want someone and I've been giving him personal information about me all week. There's only one problem, though. Can you guess what it is?"
He had to really think about that one. He wanted her and she wanted him. No, nothing there. They were good to go as far as he was concerned on that one. Work? Not a chance in hell anyone would split them up with their solve rate. Friendship? He couldn't imagine anything, relationship or not, that could kill this friendship. What was she getting at? Oh, shit! Now he knew. "The line," he said in a monotone voice.
"Exactly," she snapped with a glare. She despised the line. "So, anything to say about that?"
Booth decided that the only thing he could do was suck it up and be a man. "The line's history," he said with a squeak of fear. He'd seen that look in her eyes before, after all. "I was an idiot for ever saying anything about a line. It'll never happen again, I swear!"
"Finally!" Bones said out loud and with relief.
Booth got a bit closer and leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Bones? Can we get the hell out of here now and go to our place to have sex? I don't think I can take much more of this, and I know for damn sure Seeley Jr down there isn't gonna be able to take much more of this," he told her.
"Of course we can go back to my place and have sex," she told him out loud and not in a whisper. She knew just how to embarrass him and make sure she was still in charge of this operation. "After we finish our shopping. I still have some lubricants to purchase and choose some new toys for my collection. I was thinking. How about some edible panties? Maybe strawberry flavor?"
"Bones!" Booth groaned in complete frustration and embarrassment.
"Now Booth, I'm thinking of you, too," she patted him on the chest. "I plan on giving you a full demonstration of all my toys this weekend, as well as model all of my new naughty lingerie that I picked out here with your help. In the meantime, how about I get you a vibrating Pocket Pussy? You can take it into one of the back booths and relieve your obvious tension, you know," she suggested with a wicked grin and gleam in her eyes.
Booth hung his head and wanted to crawl into a hole to die. He was going to hell for sure with all the wicked thoughts in his head, and he made a mental note to kill Angela for being gone today of all days. Not that he was complaining about what would be happening less than a nanosecond after they got into Bones' apartment and the door was closed, but this was torture! A Pocket Pussy?!?!?! There were some really sick fucks out there in the world. He made a further note to stop by for confession bright and early before Mass in the morning. Father Mitch was going to have a field day with him, but Special Agent Seeley Booth did not want to spend eternity in a fiery depths of hell. At least he'd have a hell of a lot of fun getting there, though.
"Let's just make it quick, Bones," he pleaded.
"Of course, Booth," she said with a hidden smile. Stage 5 was a complete success, though slightly modified. Now to tease him a bit more and then head for her place and two whole days and nights of sex and hedonistic pleasure. Hopefully a bit of that braking the laws of physics stuff would come into play, but she could wait and build up to that. One thing was certain, though. She'd caught and now had as her very own, Booth. She couldn't wait to tell Angela.
A/N: This one took a while to write as I wanted to really make this work while setting up the next, and final, chapter. I hope it was worth the wait. For those of you waiting for a strong, determined Booth to emerge, the next chapter will be more to your liking, though you will see a strong and assertive Bones as well. Hopefully it will provide good humor, and, of course, a good deal of smut for the sex scene that this series of chapters has led up to. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. Gregg.