Well there we go! Second chapter!
Dib was sulking in the living room as usual, however his head was blocking the TV so of course his surly sister demanded an explanation.
"Why are you HERE!"
It was all Dib could do not to throw his arms in the air in frustration.
"I don't know! I try to work to wards the greater good and everyone thinks I'm crazy!"
He spun on his sister gesturing madly "Do you know what's happening tomorrow!?"
"You'll finally shut up?"
"That's right! I'm turning nineteen! And do you know who's gonna come say happy birthday? No one! Except Keef which is really weird cause I never told him when my birthday was…" He shook his head in exasperation.
"Maybe if you weren't so stupid people wouldn't hate you!" Gaz leaned sideways around Dib to see the television.
"Oh and I'll be lucky if I actually get anything! The only person who gives me stuff anymore is creepy old Aunt Ethel and she sends me a card saying 'happy 10th birthday' every two months with a coupon for Bloaty's pizza hog in it!"
He flung open the hallway cupboard to allow a flood of coupons to fall out around their feet.
Gaz glared at him. "You better clean that up before dad gets home!"
Dib could only sigh "Yeah, yeah…" he began upon the task of stuffing the coupons back in the cupboard when he turned to his sister in contemplation.
Ever since the Game slave portable and the new Pii console came out, what little communication he had with his sister had minimized.
"You don't even care do you."
His sister picked up the small lamp in the likeness of their father, "Dib, you have fifteen seconds to shut up or leave before I make you suffer."
"But-"
She growled "Ten- nine!"
"Okay, okay! I'm going! Geeze!" he hurriedly backed out the door, grabbing his coat on the way.
As his frightened jogging started to fall into casual strides he wondered what he could do to fill in the hours between now and when his dad would get home.
"I know! I'll go flick meaty-chunks at Zim! That's always fun!" he declared to no one in particular.
Normally he would go mess with Zim, they would argue, which would escalate into a small fight, which would result in both of them being tired so they would sit on Zim's couch till GIR did something or Dib had to go, it wasn't exactly normal but it was becoming a weekend tradition.
What he hadn't expected was to find Zim lying in the middle of the kitchen area in a gurgling pile of pain.
"Zim?" Dib nudged him lightly with the toe of hid boot, he didn't expect him to has foiled his own plans so early.
Unbeknownst to Dib the device had scanned his form and, upon discovering his height, registered him as a superior.
"uuuurgnh.." Zim gurgled in protest "not the Deeeeeeeb." Another small shock was sent through him causing him to jerk upright and Dib to jump backward in surprise.
"oh, you're okay then, what the hell is wrong with you?"
"None of your business, Dib-stink!" The device was shocked at how he could be rude to someone taller than him and immediately remedied the situation by zapping him one more.
"BEESBEESARRRGH!" Dib raided an eyebrow at Zim's response.
"Okay, what's going on, normally your ranting is a little more coherent than this."
Zim growled in frustration for a minute before replying "I have a high tech, top class, training program that will help me defeat this puny planet, but-" He hesitated for a moment. "it keeps telling me to make breakfast…"
Dib laughed.
And then he laughed some more.
And the he stopped laughing until he saw the pile of pancakes behind Zim that was currently being devoured by GIR which set him off laughing again, a small buzzing from the device warned Zim of the consequences of interrupting.
Finally Dib calmed himself down, "Ahah! MAN that's funny! So Zim, how exactly are you gonna take over earth with your amazing COOKING skills? Give everyone food poisoning?"
"I'll have you know everything I make is of the highest quality Dib-stNNNnnngh!" The device informed him of how to address a being of superior height, "Taller Dib."
Dib blinked "Wh-what did you just call me?"
Zim's tiny hands curled into fists "I am required to address you as such as a part of the program…. Stinky-STOOPID program!"
The program apparently had no qualms with be insulted since Zim remained unshockified.
Dib was now interested "What else does that thing do, besides shock you which is REALLY fun to watch!"
As Zim counted off the various duties the device would make him do Dib started to realize the advantage he now had.
"So If I told you to make me cereal-" Suddenly Zim was being Zapped over and over till he quickly grabbed some milk and a box of Membrane-Os and made what could be the quickest bowl of cereal ever presenting it to Dib with slices of strawberries and bananas on top.
As Zim stood there panting slightly Dib slowly took up a spoonful of the cereal and tasted it.
Flavor exploded on his tongue as he slowly savored the taste of the cereal, not too crisp, not to soggy and the sliced fruit was fresh, it was the best cereal ever.
A silly smile spread across his face as a bit of milk dribbled down towards his chin, if this was just cereal what else could Zim do?
The pak zeroed in on the drop of milk on Dib's face and urged Zim into action.
Grudgingly Zim reached up with a gloved hand and wiped the milk away slowly, shocking Dib out of his stupor.
"What are you-"
"I'm NOT." Zim growled between his teeth.
"Oh right, the training thingy!" Dib wasn't sure if he was supposed to feel relied or disappointed.
Suddenly an idea came to him and a wicked smile slid across his face.
"Say Zim, you probably shouldn't be working in your normal uniform…"
Zim's antenna rose in confusion "I shouldn't?"
Then he noticed Dib's smile and his eyes narrowed in suspicion "What are you up to Dib-mons" ZAP "Dib human." This name was apparently acceptable since a second shock did not follow.
"Now why would you think I'm up to something Zim? I just thought that a uniform more fitting to your duties might be better, like maybe a maid uniform?" He grinned at the indignant look on Zim's green face.
"I will not-GAAH! BEESBEESSTINGING AHH!" he ran around in a small circle before falling to the ground.
Dib leaned over to him in triumph. "So I'll just ask GIR to go buy your new uniform Hmm?"
Zim could only grumble in response.
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