A/N: Please excuse any choppy-ness with this chapter I really wasn't sure what to do here…

After calling up Gaz to tell her he would be spending the night, and probably his birthday, at Zim's house Dib took over the TV, occasionally setting Zim odd jobs like cleaning and basically amusing him.

Of course watching the reruns, sitcoms, game shows and talk show that made up the mindless daytime TV schedule for several hours, sucks the energy out of a guy like some sort of bulging parasitic growth, and Mysterious Mysteries was always in the late time slot.

So Dib ended up snoozing on the couch, Gir clinging to his head.

It didn't take long for Zim to stumble upon Dib's sleeping form but before he could take advantage of that fact the device on his Pak set him more practice in the kitchen for the next few hours.

Dib awoke the next morning to the smell of bacon wafting in from the kitchen, his head was still feeling clogged and sluggish from the uncomfortable night on the couch but his stomach grumbled in protest of having missed dinner and refused to be ignored.

After scratching the spot where Gir had clung to his head a little too tightly, Dib followed his nose to the kitchen where Zim stood, still in his maid uniform, trying to stay as far away from the frying pan of sizzling bacon and wearing large rubber gloves and goggles for protection from the meatyness.

Dib reached out and in a daze ending up slumping slightly on Zim's back, face buried in his wig and mumbling about food.

"So you are awake Taller-Dib…" Zim's eyes narrowed behind the goggles, "the hooman nose is stronger than I thought."

"Mmrgg," Dib rubbed his left eye sleepily "You're making bacon for breakfast?"

Zim raised his spatula high "Yeees, and you will eat it and it will be deleecious for you human belly!"

He gestured to a pot that was sharing the stove "I also made eggs."

Dib let out a yawn, withdrawing his arms from where they had unconsciously been fiddling with Zim's apron, and wandered off to the bathroom to go do his stuff.

"Just you wait Dib," Zim tipped the grease into Gir's awaiting mouth. "just a few more weeks and then." Zim's evil chuckle grew into an all out malicious laugh which was cut short by the device zapping him in a 'get moving' sort of way.

When Dib exited the bathroom, hair dripping and muttering things like "never again", he saw the kitchen table set with what looked like a fairly hearty breakfast, though he wouldn't admit it, Dib was impressed.

So Dib sat down and started with some cereal, turning red at the memory of the last time he ate some of Zim's cereal, and after eating some toast and washing it down with orange juice he felt pretty full.

Then Zim came in, the gloves and goggles gone, and just stood there watching Dib who squirmed under his scrutiny.

"W-what is it Zim."

"Aren't you going to finish your breakfast, oh taller Dib?" a forced smile grew upon Zim's face.

Dib picked at the table cloth "Well, it was really, REALLY yummy, and I would love to eat more but I'm kinda full." He laughed nervously.

Zim's scary forced smile disappeared but Dib was not any more relived.

"But the bacon and eggs," Zim marched up next to Dib "are you telling me the skin burny was for nothing?"

He had turned the chair Dib was sitting in to face him and placed his hands on the backing on either side of Dib's head.

"Uuuh…" Dib flinched at their proximity. "Maybe?"

Zim pulled out a fork from somewhere under his wig, stabbed it into a piece of the crispy bacon on the table and held it up to Dib.

"Eat it."

Dib's eyes widened. "I-"

"I said eeeeat iiiiit!" He reached forward and held Dib's chin between his three fingers and attempted to open his moth but dib grabbed his wrist in response.

"No!"

The device on Zim's pak whirred telling him that the food must be devoured by any means necessary and if the consumer does not finish then a punishment would be in store for Zim.

"You will eat my delicious food," Zim moved his hand from Dib's chin to grab his scythe

"and you" he yanked Dib's head back and raised himself up onto the chair effectively pinning Dib. "will LOVE it."

But Zim had forgotten about Dib's other hand until it came up and tried to pull his hand out of Dibs hair.

Their struggling caused Zim to loose his balance and fall backwards, dragging Dib down with him and Dib clinging to the table cloth and unintentionally causing the contents of the table to clatter down around them.

Zim ended up on his back with his wig lying a short distance away and Dib forced down on top of him held in place by his scythe and bits of the breakfast sticking too his face and what seemed to be milk dripping from his shirt.

Zim sighed in relief as the device informed him that soiled food can be disposed of.

Then Dib's ragged breathing caught his attention and he realised that a cleaning was in order.

"Get off." Dib scrambled upright but before he could stand Zim had wrapped his hands into Dib's shirt and slowly licked the mess of Dib's face.

Dib could only close his eyes as the skilled tongue fan across his face, sliding over the corners of his suddenly dry mouth and slipping around behind his ear, causing him to shiver as it glided down his neck.

Then, suddenly, it was gone, he could feel Zim's breath on his neck and felt like his skin was burning under it.

"There are clean clothes in the spare room."

Dib took this as his cue to exit and stumbled off of Zim as quickly as possible.

So far, one of the strangest birthdays he had ever had, and that was only the morning.

There we go! Next chapter Keef will make an appearance!

Read and review! Suggestions would be greatly appreciated!